11/25/2023 – Michigan 30, Ohio State 24 – 12-0, 9-0 Big Ten, Big Ten East Champs

Shrek was nude, erect, and prodigious.

This did not phase me. I am a member of the Oregon Trail generation. When the guy who posted this at me was still in the womb I was casually scrolling past goatse and lemonparty. There is only one image on the internet that has ever shook me. I will not say what it is, and I have not seen it in fifteen years. Turgid Shrek is nothing compared to it.

It goes without saying that this happened on Twitter, which was already a cesspool before Elon Musk took it over. It was already a cesspool before Ohio State's PI firm spun the Connor Stalions stuff into the Worst Scandal In College Football History™ and Tony Petitti took the bait. Combine these two events and you get the last month of the season, the most hellish one imaginable when your very excellent football team is heading for an undefeated matchup in the greatest rivalry in sports.

The context is this: some guy thinks this is a cool dunk.

The Connor Stalions effect in four pictures

Incredible, incredible stuff pic.twitter.com/vnZ7fVGKOR

— AthletesInSpace (@AthletesInSpace) November 23, 2023

That's three bone-dry news posts that might as well be from the AP followed up by a tweet of mine dunking on Gattis after he tanked the Miami offense overnight. Obviously this person is not familiar with the output of this blog, which was more or less furious about Gattis after his second game in charge of the offense and only got more frustrated from there.  I replied with evidence of such, and got Shrek.

This was the vast majority of interactions I had the last month. You say something, you cite some stuff, you appeal to common sense, and someone sends you a cartoon schwangle-dangle. Or you post literally anything and that happens. Usually metaphorically, sometimes literally.

I don't bring this up because I imagine you are hanging on what my experience is on Twitter, but because I imagine this is a reasonable facsimile of what your lives have been over the past month. Ohio State fans, mercifully quiet for the last couple years, popping up to go LOL STALIONS when you're at a baby shower or a work meeting or a briss. Michigan State fans saying Michigan had Endangered The Players just days after Spencer Brown speared Braiden McGregor in the helmet. Bert Bielema coming up to you, personally, and saying you are a disgusting human being for tolerating the filth that is Michigan football. Sort of thing. And you just have to smile tightly and try to change the subject, lest you strangle someone.

I also imagine that what you experienced at four o'clock on Saturday afternoon is what I did: silence. Blissful, wonderful silence.

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Nobody gives a shit anymore. In the aftermath even the Ohio State fans who were dead certain that Connor Stalions was all Michigan had are busy fighting other Ohio State fans who don't hate Ohio State's coach enough:

Pat Forde, who seized upon his old-school journalist instincts to hop aboard the Worst Scandal Ever train a few weeks ago, is now forced to show his belly to Dan Wetzel with some mealy-mouthed assertions that the NCAA is going to step in and do a thing. This, too, is a common theme amongst OSU cope posting: surely all of this will be vacated even after the last half-season of football amply demonstrated that Connor Stalions had about 0% to do with Michigan's success.

That was always the truth, and would always be the truth. But the truth doesn't always matter. Michigan strangling out Ohio State with a 7-minute drive and then pressuring Kyle McCord into an interception means that it does actually matter. Those were the stakes: does Michigan get to claim what they earned? Yes. Yes they do. In the aftermath Kris Jenkins screamed at Jason Avant that "there ain't no more excuses, can't nobody say otherwise, because we did that shit!"

So now we can put it behind us. There will be the deranged rivals screaming CHEATERZ until we all die; now they are an amusing sidelight and nothing else. They are welcome to die mad.

Attention can now turn to this team. This fucking team.

I could not have withstood this. I am just a guy on the internet and I have to admit that all the noise half-crippled me for three weeks. I believe that a lot of teams fronted by regular humans would have folded at the pressure put upon them. I privately feared Michigan was cracking after the Maryland game.

They were not. I am not sure we fully comprehend how lucky we were that we got this set of players at this exact moment in time. It feels like JJ McCarthy and Blake Corum and Kris Jenkins and Mike Barrett and Mike Sainristil could stare a nuclear holocaust in the face, glance at each other, and say "we got this."

This is unfair because it does not reference basically every other Michigan starter, and also the other half of the defense that plays 30 snaps a game. Trente Jones came in after the aforementioned horrific injury and immediately started hammering people. Jake Thaw got hammered by a teammate and held onto a punt. Folks make errors, sure. This is a team that faced down Marvin Harrison, lost their top-ten pick corner for the last 20 minutes, and said "bet."

Who was the weak spot to attack? Who was the indomitable hero? There wasn't one, and there wasn't one.

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The worst part about this column thus far is that it has barely referenced the actual Michigan players who fought this out. 30-24 is the third Michigan win over Ohio State in a row, something that hasn't happened since 1997. This column has necessarily concerned itself with all of the ridiculous garbage leading up to a completely normal football game won by the better team. I, personally, have spent a lot of time citing the four players I have just cited above.

But when you have a program, Quinten Johnson comes back and puts on his best Marcus Ray impression. Kalel Mullings wipes folks on out lead blocks. Trente Jones comes in when Zinter goes out. This game was not only an escape from the Narrative but a validation of Michigan's "everyone eats" approach. They put so much time into making sure everyone was ready, and then everyone was ready. I saw Mike Sainristil's dad carry a giant Mike Sainristil head onto the field for the Senior Day portion of the proceedings, and then I saw the Sainristil head at midfield after Michigan beat Ohio State. Last year Sainristil felt like a fluke, like something Michigan had lucked into. In 2023 Sainristil is the past, present, and future.

Next year it'll be Mason Graham, or Ben Hall, or Kalel Mullings. Not every year is going to be this peak roster year but Michigan has found a groove here where they can get the Michigan guys. There is a bat signal out here, and the folks Michigan needs to win will come to help them win. This all derives from this generation of players, and their attitude.

Despite the famous/infamous history of JJ McCarthy's recruitment, where he wanted to go to OSU and got screwed out of it, it is impossible to envision him playing in that fascist fucking stadium. Yes, take all the NFL guys and send them to the NFL. Instead we will have the Sainted Four, and Trevor Keegan, and Zak Zinter, and Kris Jenkins, and keep them and hold them and release them when they are ready, which is a bit later than other programs might keep them.

This is not a coaching thing, or necessarily a Michigan thing. Those things help. But fundamentally this is a decision they make because something other than maximizing revenue is what drives them. They are here—still here—for another reason. They stayed. And they are champions.

AWARDS

Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week

[Bryan Fuller]

you're the man now, dog

#1 JJ McCarthy. 16/20, 7.4 YPA, 1 TD, no interceptions against a pass defense that was by far the best in the country in opponent-adjusted EPA/play. Added three crucial scrambles for 17 yards. Did not put a single ball in harm's way a week after making everyone's collars tighten against Maryland. Made some of the most mind-bending throws I can remember.

#2 Mason Graham, Kenneth Grant, and Kris Jenkins. The primary place Michigan's light box shows up is between the tackles. Michigan got to play two deep safeties against Marvin Harrison and fling every coverage known to man at him because the DTs were able to bow up enough to hold TreVeyon Henderson to 3.2 yards an attempt despite getting buckets of doubles.

#3 Blake Corum. The 22-yard touchdown was the most important play of the game, coming right after Zinter's injury. 4.0 yards per carry isn't astounding but when a chunk of those carries are pounding it in from the seven on Michigan's first touchdown and other short-yardage events, your average gets depressed.

Also #3 Colston Loveland. Five catches for 88 yards means he was the most efficient offensive player on either team. No incompletions were directed at Loveland.

Also #3 Will Johnson. Crucial interception and I'm pretty sure he's covering for a safety bust on the PI/insane Harrison catch; tackling him was a smart move. Unfortunately, Harrison caught the dang thing anyway.

Also #3 Jaylen Harrell. Forced the game-ending interception.

Honorable mention: Tommy Doman's booming punts let Michigan weather some early offensive hiccups. Donovan Edwards had a crucial halfback pass. Mike Barrett nearly had an INT and was excellent in coverage all day. Rod Moore paid off the Harrell rush. Quinten Johnson leveled Egbuka to prevent a chunk play. James Turner's field goals were the margin of victory and one was from 50.

KFaTAotW Standings.

(points: #1: 8, #2: 5, #3: 3, HMs one each. Ties result in somewhat arbitrary assignments.)

53: JJ McCarthy (#1 ECU, #1 UNLV, #2 Rutgers, HM Nebraska, #2 Minn, #1 IU, #1 MSU, HM PUR, HM PSU, #1 OSU)
28: Kris Jenkins (HM ECU, T2 UNLV, #1 BGSU, HM Rutgers, #1 Neb, HM MSU, T2 OSU)
24: Mason Graham (HM ECU, T2 UNLV, #1 Minn, HM IU, HM MSU, T2 MD, T2 OSU) 
22: Blake Corum (HM ECU, HM UNLV, #2 BGSU, HM Rutgers, HM Neb, HM IU, #1 PSU, HM MD, #3 OSU)
20: Mike Sainristil (T3 ECU, HM BGSU, #1 Rutgers, HM IU, HM MSU, #1 MD), Kenneth Grant (T3 ECU, T2 UNLV, #2 PSU, T2 MD, T2 OSU)
14: Roman Wilson (T2 ECU, HM UNLV, HM BGSU, #3 Nebraska, #2 PUR), Mike Barrett (HM UNLV, T3 Rutgers, #2 IU, T1 PUR, HM MD, HM OSU)
13: Colston Loveland (HM Rutgers, T3 IU, T2 MSU, HM PUR, HM MD, #3 OSU)
11: AJ Barner (HM BGSU, HM Neb, HM Minn, T3 IU, T2 MSU, HM PSU),
10: Braiden McGregor(T3 UNLV, #2 Nebraska, T1 PUR), Will Johnson(#3 Minn, #3 PUR, HM PSU, #3 OSU)
9: Jaylen Harrell (HM UNLV, HM BGSU, HM IU, T1 PUR, #3 OSU)
7: Cornelius Johnson (T2 ECU, HM UNLV, HM BGSU, HM Minn), Derrick Moore (T3 UNLV, HM Neb, HM MSU, T1 PUR),
6: Junior Colson (#3 BGSU, T3 Rutgers, HM MSU)
5: Tommy Doman (HM ECU, #3 MD, HM OSU)
4: Ernest Hausmann (T3 ECU, T3 Rutgers), Max Bredeson (HM Rutgers, HM Neb, T3 IU), Josiah Stewart (HM Minn, T1 PUR), The Offensive Line (HM Minn, #3 PSU),
3: Donovan Edwards (HM ECU, HM PSU, HM OSU)
2:  Josh Wallace (T3 ECU), Semaj Morgan (HM Rutgers, HM PUR), Rod Moore (HM PUR, HM OSU), Quinten Johnson (HM Rutgers, HM OSU)
1: Tyler Morris (HM UNLV), Kalel Mullings (HM Minn),Keon Sabb (HM Minn), Ben Hall (HM IU), Rayshaun Benny (HM PSU), Cam Goode (HM MD), James Turner(HM OSU)

Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week

Rod Moore's diving interception seals the game.

Honorable mention: Donovan Edwards completes a halfback pass. Blake Corum scores a legacy-defining touchdown. Will Johnson intercepts McCord. JJ McCarthy throws the most ridiculous pass I've ever seen for a Roman Wilson touchdown. Tommy Doman sticks a punt at the two.

MARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK

Zak Zinter's leg shatters. They did not show the aftermath on television and you are grateful for this decision. The incident was an unavoidable accident, FWIW.

Honorable mention: Ohio State runs it down Michigan's throat to tie the game at 24. Various Ohio State catches from their cyborg wide receivers. A Roman Wilson first down catch is (correctly) overturned.

NICK SAMAC PATHETIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK

We get two commercial-kickoff-commercial sequences in the third quarter and also a timeout-commercial-timeout-play-commercial sequence at the end of the game. Also the timeouts in this game were 30 seconds longer than in any other game this year. The Big Ten, which just huffily suspended Jim Harbaugh, is siphoning millions of dollars from these two programs. That is going to stop in the next TV contract, or we're out of here.

Dishonorable mention: Pete Thamel hides in the stadium instead of facing the music.

OFFENSE

No video this week. Fox has enacted an archaic crackdown on sharing video on social media, which has obliterated Matthew Loves Ball, et al. I'm not rewarding this behavior with embeds and ad views. Take it up with Fox.

[Barron]

The legacy. Zak Zinter had just gone down with the worst injury I've ever seen in person at a football game. I sat and did not look, because it was too horrible to look. Michigan was tied, and driving, and it felt like the game was kind of over nonetheless. And on the very first play after Zinter had been carted off the field, Blake Corum was brilliant.

All year the UFRs have been gently lamenting that 2023 Blake Corum isn't 2022 Blake Corum, and I don't know maybe that's just fundamentally true long term but the best run, the most important run, the iconic run of Blake Corum's Michigan career happened right then. It didn't look like a whole lot until you see the end-zone replay, and then it looks like everything. You get an insert from Bredeson on a duo.

This threatens backside. Edwards has run this a couple times the past couple weeks and just thundered into the playside. Corum does not do this. Corum takes the handoff and knows exactly what he's doing. He knows Bredeson is inserting backside. He takes a step.

I was trying to get the moment where it looks like he's going right but it does not exist. He just steps right, and he's already cutting back. The step is never a real threat to go off the right side; it's a feint. It deletes Steele Chambers and gets Sonny Styles moving right just enough, and then he blazes off the left side and Styles can't correct enough; touchdown. It is the perfect Corum run. He understands the play; he baits the defense; his change of direction wins. With the stakes higher than they ever could be, and with Zinter just being carted off, this is the most important run of his career, and he killed it. That is a legacy.

And then. And then Corum puts up 6 and 5. He's not thinking I Did A Blake Corum. He's thinking about Zak Zinter.

.@zak_zinter #65 pic.twitter.com/8DSZzrsmHK

— Jim Nagy (@JimNagy_SB) November 25, 2023

TRENTE. Zinter's injury is horrible; the silver lining is that Michigan brought in Trente Jones after the injury and Trente went to work.

@thatdudemjb @T #michigan #michiganwolverines #jimharbaugh #harbaugh #collegefootball #collegefootball #ncaa #ncaa #bigten #ohiostate ? Walk It Talk It - Migos

I was initially concerned about losing Zinter's oomph but the oomph between Zinter/Barnhart and Barnhart/Trente is more or less equal, it appears. After the game, Trente found Ben Herbert and I defy you to not get misty at this:

This is a guy who easily could have bailed after losing his job last year, but did not. Cade McNamara was a captain and bailed on the team midseason. Trente stuck it out, and was a major reason Michigan choked out the clock in the fourth quarter.

[Fuller]

Three insane throws, three completions. JJ McCarthy was "just" 15 of 19 in this game but made three crucial throws that were boggling. One was the Roman Wilson touchdown. This is not a window, it is a sliver.

The second was the throw to Cornelius Johnson on the sideline; the third was the throw across his body on the seven-minute drive that was a no-no-yes proposition. The latter two also required difficult catches from Johnson.

When not doing this, McCarthy was generally himself after a weird outing against Maryland. He turfed his first pass; his other incompletions were more or less throwaways when Roman Wilson double moves didn't come off and he got pressure. His legs were also crucial on three different scrambles that either converted first downs or got Michigan close enough to go for it.

Attacking the linebackers. Michigan tight ends had 7 catches on 7 targets, with Colston Loveland going for 88 yards on his five catches. LB coverage was the standout weakness of what otherwise looked like an impregnable pass defense, and Michigan took advantage. Loveland's catch and run to open up the third quarter was a tone-setter for a half in which Michigan did not punt. Klatt kept marveling at how fluid Loveland is and that's the right word. He made some relatively difficult catches but made them look easy and was able to keep his feet and maximize his gains.

Gameplan… kind of disappointing? We did not see a single designed McCarthy run, nor did we get much out of the Donovan Edwards package. The early screen out of quads on third and five was blown up by OSU, and to me that's a very LOOK AT DONOVAN EDWARDS play what with all the motioning and the unusual formation. If I'm playing against a team that's hyped up early in the game if I formation it so that everyone's looking at Edwards I'm using him as a decoy. I'm not sure there was a single thing in the first half that stood out as a clear RPS win.

The second half did have the Orji run and the halfback pass, both of which were key plays on scoring drives. I just wanted some more new/weird stuff. Even the Orji run was just the bash counter Michigan's been running all year with a different guy running the ball.

On the other hand. Michigan started off the game-killing drive with a short pass to Johnson to set up second and four, and was then willing to throw the ball on various downs. It was not a run-run-run thing until the final series. Michigan continued to take the short passes Knowles 2023 was willing to give up. And the short yardage throw to Loveland at the moment when the dive was going to get crashed like it did last year was excellently time.

TE-Delay time [Barron]

I did not like it but it paid off… sort of. Michigan repeatedly used AJ Barner as a pass blocker against the OSU defensive ends. AJ Barner is a very good blocker but this was a bridge too far; he was beaten repeatedly and was fortunate not to get hit with a holding call. This did pay off on Michigan's second-half TD drive when a TE-delay got him an 18-yard catch-and-run.

DEFENSE

 

throwing into coverage [Fuller]

All season, and then. Marvin Harrison managed 5 catches for 118 yards but those catches only cost Michigan three points, and for about a third of the game OSU did not have to deal with Will Johnson. After the game Harrison said that this was in large part because Michigan threw the kitchen sink at him:

Marvin Harrison Jr.:

"The safety help they had over top or inside, I’ve never really seen anything like it until today. The bracket coverage in the red zone that we got, definitely got doubled more today more than I ever have.”

— Nolan Bianchi (@nolanbianchi) November 25, 2023

Ross Fulton, who's by far the best OSU scheme guy on twitter, confirmed:

From the teams I have broken down (including UGA) the volume and variety of what Michigan does in coverage is well beyond any can team. This looks like C5, but UM is bracketing Harrison, and also trading off routes. pic.twitter.com/uMELfvNZXu

— Ross Fulton (@RossRFulton) November 26, 2023

This wasn't perfect—on the podcast Seth and I both thought that the Harrison touchdown was failure of Wallace to switch off on a complicated coverage concept—but Michigan consistently provided a cloudy picture to McCord and reaped the benefits. The backside RPO slant that was a frustrating auto-first-down against Maryland turned into the crucial Johnson interception, and Barrett carrying Stover down the seam almost led to another INT.

[Fuller]

The INT. Ohio State looked at how easy the backside slant RPO was for Maryland and thought they'd run it; Minter picked up a huge gameplan W by having Johnson in man coverage with Moore over the top. Johnson jumped the route and McCord couldn't pull off what Stroud did a few times last year. Last year when McGregor was dropping into slant lanes Stroud was rifling the ball high, probably because he saw what was happening at the last second. Tougher to do on an RPO when you're reading a linebacker before coming to your WR.

[Barron]

A little too much rotation. There's been a bullet in these posts for the past month wondering when Michigan would shorten up the rotation and roll with their best guys. Despite assertions around here the answer was "never," and that turned out to be largely correct. One of the biggest plays of this game was Quinten Johnson getting his Marcus Ray on…

Quinten Johnson told me in the offseason that he believed his patience as a backup would pay off:

“This year is going to be a shocker for people outside the facility. I feel like all the stars are about to align.”

Against Ohio State, @_QJ11 made one of the plays of the game: pic.twitter.com/rIFXfhw7tz

— Alejandro Zúñiga (@ByAZuniga) November 26, 2023

…and pretty much everyone else who had seen the field had played well enough to earn those snaps. There were 1.5 exceptions. The 1 was Jimmy Rolder, who has barely played this season because of injury and a desire to get him a redshirt. He got a couple snaps when Michigan was up 14-3; he missed a tackle to set up 2nd and 1 and then got beat by Stover on OSU's chunk seam route. I think Rolder's going to be a player down the road, but to stick him in in that situation didn't serve Michigan; nor did it serve him. Everyone else rotating in had seen 100+ snaps over the course of the season and had a baseline expectation set. Rolder did not.

The 0.5 was Cam Goode, who has played well this year but remains desperately undersized on running downs and was a fair chunk of the reason OSU's manball drive went down the field with a quickness. They locked him on the field for a few plays and were able to single-block him. I understand this a bit more than Rolder but it felt like Michigan gave up ~4 points of expectation because they didn't thin the rotation enough.

But! We finally had a DT crack 40 snaps. Graham had 42 of 58. Also: Moore, Sainristil, and Barrett pretty much did not come off the field. Barrett was off the field for two snaps—probably the two we're lamenting just above. Johnson likely would have gotten all 58 as well but for his injury.

Take that. Patrick got the Marcus Ray picture:

[Barron]

The rest of the manballing. OSU avoided stretch for most of the game but got a couple of nice runs out of it on that drive; the frontside double on stretch remains a problem when Michigan is playing so light in the box. There was the hold on the Trayanum bounce, and then Michigan just got got with no excuses once the ball got inside the ten. OSU's next drive started with another run that went for one yard, and OSU went three-and-out.

Pressure was… okay? Live I was disappointed that Michigan wasn't actually getting to McCord much but on replay it feels like McCord is avoiding things that are officially "pressure" by getting the ball out too fast and winging it behind his guys. There were other incidents where Michigan was stapling the pocket closed and McCord's feet got misaligned as a result, resulting in inaccurate throws.

And when Michigan needed it on the final drive, McCord was under siege. On the first play of that drive three guys came through and McCord threw off his back foot twelve yards behind the LOS; on the second Mason Graham and Josiah Stewart put him on the ground; on the fourth Jaylen Harrell and Mason Graham force the interception. The only play where Michigan did not get to McCord was because they were frustratingly caught off guard by tempo; neither Graham nor Stewart was ready to go on the snap.

PFF has Michigan for a 26% pressure rate, which is significantly down from their recent performances. I think there were a number of snaps that don't count as a pressure for PFF purposes on which McCord was nonetheless sped up into bad decisions.

McCord got helped out by his WRs considerably as well [Barron]

And of course. The pregame analysis that Michigan needed to get to McCord because he was awful under pressure—one that pretty much everyone including myself deployed—was completely wrong. McCord's PFF grade on pressured throws: 93. When clean: 41. The step-up and fire to Harrison at the end of the first half just before Graham crushed him could have been devastating if Tommy Doman didn't stick his punt at the two.

McCord was going full Mouton for most of this game, alternating NFL dimes—the aforementioned throw, the back shoulder to Fleming, the slot fade to Harrison—with balls his receivers couldn't even touch, let alone catch, and the two interceptions that turned into one when Cade Stover played defense.

SPECIAL TEAMS

Incandenza again [Barron]

A punting blowout. Not sure what's happened to Jesse Mirco this year after he was excellent a year ago but that 38 net average I referenced in the season preview really came through in this game. Meanwhile Tommy Doman, who's spent much of the year being the boring fair catch guy, seemed to uncork his actual leg here.

Mirco averaged 37 yards on his three punts; Doman averaged 52.  Doman's 71-yarder was a crucial play at a moment where Michigan's offense had gone three-and-out twice, and he was somewhat unfortunate that his bomb made it all the way to the endzone.

His punt right before the half landed at the ~four and settled down at the two, and those 18 yards turned out to be critical as OSU was faced with a fourth and two at the 34 with about 35 seconds left in the half. Day elected to run the clock down and try a long field goal that OSU missed. If that's at the 18, the field goal is a gimme and it's possible that even Ryan Day is going to go for it there and attempt to score a touchdown.

Doman did put a kickoff out of bounds but he also had the pop-up at the end of the game that netted OSU –6 yards and –5 seconds at a crucial moment. It is good that he didn't, you know, punt in the second half. But if he had to I am confident he would have hammered it.

Hail James Turner. Quite a portal transfer heist to grab a kid out of Saline who'd kicked for Louisville for four years and have him go 3/3 in the game, including a 50-yarder grooved down the middle.

Can we please not obliterate our punt returners? One million points to Jake Thaw for not muffing a punt where Zeke Berry blasted him on the catch. I've already deployed the Shaq meme about Thaw, so just mentally re-run that here.

MISCELLANEOUS

Not as bad as Frames Janklin, but… Ryan Day is in that category when it comes to decisions. OSU punted on fourth and one from their own 46 in a situation where I was delighted to see the punter enter the field. He also opted for a 52-yard field goal on fourth and two at the end of the first half when he could have had 35 seconds to go do a thing.

At the same time this was happening Michigan went for it on fourth and short three times, converting each time. It's not an exaggeration to say that Day's fourth-down turtling was the game. The only defense you can muster for his decision-making is that he might have been correct to turtle because he has to have the worst power success rate relative to available talent in the history of college football.

Our guy is trying too hard. What are we doing here, Ryan?

lookin like a mannequin at JC Penny dripped out in Izod and Van Heusen pic.twitter.com/sEiqOOX9Iv

— raj.docx (@internetraj) November 25, 2023

Maybe stick to yelling at Lou Holtz.

Michigan's decisions. Yes, go on fourth and one. Obvious.

I did want them to be more aggressive on the final series, particularly on third down. Day did Michigan a huge favor by not calling his timeout, meaning that a throw on third and six doesn't cost you a whole lot if it's incomplete. (A defensive timeout is worth 40 seconds; an offensive one is worth maybe 10 or 15, tops.) Michigan didn't take advantage. And even if you don't want to throw there I would have preferred something that was more likely to pick up the first down even if it was also more likely to lose yards, because who cares if you lose six yards there? I'd rather bank on an OSU player overplaying the interior; one mistake on a jet sweep or a JJ keeper and it's ballgame.

Also, FWIW, the calculator people think that the right decision is to go for it on fourth and four:

I’ll leave this here in case it ends up mattering pic.twitter.com/nPBFZ8iYrd

— Jared Lee (@JaredDLee) November 25, 2023

However: they might be wrong, because they assume there's a 26% chance to miss the field goal based on NCAA-wide stats. James Turner has missed one field goal from inside 40 yards during his career. If you bump it up to 95% it's a wash.

We know, Pete. 100 internet dollars to Desmond Howard for calling out Pete Thamel's turtle job on Gameday:

Desmond Howard discussed Pete Thamel not being in the crowd. "I'm like, 'What the hell is Pete in the stadium for?' ...Put your big boy pants on and do it in the crowd like you have been." Rece Davis then said "He's got, from the lunatic fringe, some threats." pic.twitter.com/yzWmeSK822

— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) November 25, 2023

Yeah, Pete, you're going to get assaulted live on national television in front of 45 different cameras. By Michigan fans. GTFO.

Playoff considerations. Preface all of the following assertions with "if Michigan beats Iowa." In that case: they are virtually locked into the Rose Bowl. Georgia will certainly pick the Sugar Bowl if they are the #1 seed, and Michigan will certainly pick the Rose Bowl if they are. Nobody else has a shot at #1.

The other certainty: the Pac-12 champ will take one of the other three spots.

There is a vague possibility the SEC gets left out entirely if Alabama beats Georgia and both Texas and FSU win their conference championship games. FSU would be an undefeated P5 champion and would have to get in; Texas has a loss but beat Bama in the nonconference.

There is also a vague possibility OSU could again back-door its way in. If Georgia wins, eliminating Alabama, Texas and FSU losses would throw the fourth spot open. A Washington win in the Pac-12 title game would give Oregon a second loss, leaving the committee (likely) deciding between 12-1 FSU and 11-1 OSU. Ideally the committee would go with FSU, which has a better nonconference win (21 points over LSU instead of a last second-escape from ND by an inch against ten guys), a better overall record, and would only be in question because they lost a game to #9 Louisville on a weekend Ohio State did not have to play. But in these situations the dead-eyed poll logic is usually "who lost least recently," and OSU could sneak in.

Your championship weekend rooting guide, then, in order of when the games transpire:

• Washington over Oregon, probably. Washington has scuffled down the stretch here as Oregon has accelerated; the Huskies are 8.4 points adrift of the Ducks in SP+. Oregon winning does create an 12-1 conference runner up who might get picked over OSU in the chaos scenario.
• Texas over Oklahoma State. Mostly for the comedy value of having an SEC-free playoff, but also Texas winning slams the door on OSU.
• Alabama over Georgia. Could knock the SEC out entirely. Gives Michigan the #1 seed and (maybe) a slightly easier first round matchup.
• FSU over Louisville. Shuts the door on OSU and with all due respect to what FSU's accomplished this year the prospect of drawing a team without its starting QB appeals. FSU-minus-starting-QB would be a better first round matchup than Washington, Oregon, Bama, or Texas.

Officiating bits. Nothing stood out as particularly egregious either way except for the fact that holding was off. This benefited Michigan once, when AJ Barner got beat by Jack Sawyer in pass pro and bought McCarthy enough time to get a throw off, and hurt them once, when Josh Wallace was prevented from setting an edge against Chip Trayanum on OSU's manball drive.

The other points of contention were:

• The Roman Wilson touchdown, which will go down in Ohio State lore as an egregious call and to everyone other than Joel Klatt as an obvious TD where Wilson has possession of the ball when he crosses the goal line, after which nothing matters.
• The incompletion/fumble on OSU's final drive, which was pretty close but IMO is an incompletion because the WR does not complete the process of securing the ball—ie, make "a football move"—before the ball gets punched out.
• Mason Graham getting called for an extremely suspect defensive holding.

There are also various extremely funny OSU complaints from actual media members. Yes, the conference that just suspended Harbaugh for three games based upon a patently ridiculous legal pretext is going to throw the game in favor of Michigan.

The guy with job security doesn't care. Kirk Ferentz is maybe the only coach in the Big Ten who knows he gets to pick when he stops coaching, and his take on Stalions-gate is what you'd expect:

Kirk Ferentz on sign stealing “(College football is) a really slow moving train when it comes to being progressive...trying to improve the quality of the game.” Says this all could’ve been fixed a decade ago with technology. Said it's hardly a concern of his going into Saturday

— Tom VanHaaren (@TomVH) November 26, 2023

BONUS TWIS

Nothing is likely to top OSU's DB coach chirping at Roman Wilson on Instagram:

It’s 2 pm on Sunday and OSU’s DB coach still hasn’t deleted his comment on IG. Embarrassing.https://t.co/DJ1Q0vwktX

(H/T @tannerwutang) pic.twitter.com/klQgbV0e82

— Josh Henschke (@JoshHenschke) November 26, 2023

Bro maybe you should spend more time coaching your players and less time promoting your apparel line:

Maybe they wouldn't turn their back to JJ McCarthy then.

The only thing that might top it is Gene Smith asking for the manager:

Ohio State AD Gene Smith gets into it with a sideline official after Buckeyes touchdown

Then a Michigan staffer swiped at my phone. pic.twitter.com/KHx77zp5cI

— Trey Wallace (@TreyWallace_) November 25, 2023

Real men have scheduled maintenance on Monday, and unscheduled maintenance on Friday.

CLIMATE CONTROLLED!

The amazing analysts at @BuckeyeHuddle talking about this being a totally winnable game in a neutral field with a climate controlled environment. They’re down bad. pic.twitter.com/G932HrB50j

— maizecraze (@sgummadi83) November 26, 2023

I told you they didn't want to play the game:

Why yesterday game shouldn’t been played

So yesterday’s game was held and our caveman posters all clamored for it!!! (1) TCUN has cheated for 3 years now, not even debatable, (2) even this year, they already illegally taped us multiple times and we’re more familiar with our schemes than anybody else we would have face, (3), their “interim coach” was also a massive cheat, you can’t just unknow the $hit they’ve already acquired because you have hairball game day off, he still was with them and (4) even still they let them keep home field advantage, at least move it to Indy, smh! Now we’ve got (5) a delusional lying team and fan base whose already insufferable, I didn’t watch the game as yesterday was ridiculous, now bring out the ******** hammer on them,

"Elbows are footballs":

Couple things on that last INT—

•McCord made the right read. If the OL didn’t get blown up & McCord get hit as he throws, good chance this is 6 to Marv.

•Moore didn’t make the catch. Another replay that didn’t go in OSU’s favor, sadly.

Once again, we had 140+ other plays so… pic.twitter.com/Jc8aMKcbCj

— MHJ Enthusiast (@BDFITL) November 26, 2023

Elbows!

This ball ABSOLUTELY hit the ground without him maintaining control. I cannot believe they missed this call to end this game. Cannot believe it. Ohio State got absolutely screwed vs. Michigan on the biggest play of the year. pic.twitter.com/7rphHZsSaH

— Sam Block (@theblockspot) November 25, 2023

Michigan State division:

Someone text me if OSU wins. I’m fully expecting this to be 24th straight big ten opponent to not bring their best when playing Univ of Mi. UM hasn’t gotten a big ten opponents best shot in 2+ years

Enjoy your weekend dudes. College football is dead. No sense in watching it ever again

College football is dead. I’ve never been so embarrassed

At this point count me in the group that thinks they’ll get zero punishment while we’re at it. That strip INT in the first half was the perfect spot to interject some adulthood in this WWE nonsense, but the M slurp train moves on. JJ with his under 150 yards on 18 designed checkdowns will finish above Penix in Heisman vote.

Petiti has to hand the big ten trophy to Jim. Think about that. They cheated and Jim still gets to take it from him and everyone will gobble his cheating balls. Flame away but they’re making the title game

I can't believe the scUMers rushed the field. LMAO

This sport is wwe at best. Nothing matters but money. It’s hardly even a sport

Michigan's assistant coaches have more wins this year than we have total. Now I'm praying Iowa upsets them. This sucks hind tit.

HERE

Best and Worst:

Sherrone Moore isn’t going to be considered for Coach of the Year in the Big 10 for a number of reasons, and probably wouldn’t win anyway because of the Herculean effort put forth by David Braun to turn the wreckage left behind by Pat Fitzgerald in Evanston into a 7-5 outfit that was one stupid game against Iowa from being in Indianapolis this weekend.  But by God did he show why he’s likely to be the head man at a P5 program next year with his performance these past 3 weekends.  I’ll save you the rehash around the “why” but “how” Moore managed this team over the past 3 weeks will go down in Michigan lore as one of the best coaching performance we’ve ever seen, as hyperbolic as that statement may seem in the moment.  With basically 12-ish hours notice before playing against one of the best defenses in the country on the road, Moore masterfully called a controlled game plan that adapted quickly to some real issues in pass blocking and allowed Michigan to pound their way around, over, and thru the Nittany Lions defense.  The next weekend, again with little warning about his role as head man and with the added surprise of losing his linebackers coach a day earlier, he took down a feisty Maryland team on the road that desperately wanted to upset the Wolverines.  And his reward for surviving that gauntlet?  A date with Ohio State, the #2 team in the country, led by the coach who allegedly was the impetus behind the private investigation that threw this season into turmoil and who definitely knew he had to win this game to save his legacy.  And if that wasn’t enough, he also lost his best offensive and defensive players for much of the second half of this game.

But despite all those roadblocks, he coached like a seasoned pro virtually all game, successfully converting all 3 4th-down situations with great calls while letting Ryan Day make the small mistakes like running the clock down to end the half before icing OSU’s kicker with his own timeout.  And he wasn’t afraid to get creative with his playcalls, whether it be rolling out Orji for a couple of runs to start the second half or dialing up a Donovan Edwards throw to Loveland that set up another FG.  And when it came to that final drive after OSU had pulled to within 3, he burned 7 minutes off the clock with maybe the definitive drive of the year for this team, one that featured big throws by J.J. McCarthy mixed with bruising runs by Edwards and Corum, all without Zinter helping to clear the path.  It ended in a short field goal, and OSU had little time and no timeouts to mount a game-winning drive.

2020 and where it got us:

For many, the 2020 pandemic year was hard. Many life changing events that affected people’s emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental health were imposed due to the COVID-19 pandemic that plagued the political, social, health, and cultural discourse and interaction in society. One of which was entertainment. Football programs felt the pandemic impact in 2020, with many seeming out of sync and downtrodden due to restrictions, cancellations, and lack of fans and support. Michigan especially felt the impact of the pandemic policies, yet did the year from Hell refine the resolve and identity of the Michigan program?

Beyond the obvious precautions, implementations, and concerns, the pandemic froze many programs abilities to practice and remain operational. Michigan was breaking in a few new coaches and players, and the performance on the field was bad. Many coaches were relieved of duty, players hit the portal, and Harbaugh was on the chopping block. Yet the pandemic year gave everyone an extra year. Players who played during the 2020 year would be granted an extra year of eligibility, and for coaches an extra year to write off poor performance as “a result of pandemic precautions and cancellations”. I fully believe Jim and the Michigan program today could not have happened without the pandemic canceling most of the season, and particularly The Game.

Unsung Heroes. Iowatch!

ELSEWHERE

SAM WEBB IS ON FIRE:

I don't have a reason to link this BYCTOM post but I'm going to anyway.

Wetzel:

And so stood two coaches on two Big House sidelines on Saturday.

One a presumed heir apparent.

One a punitive case.

Well, one of them went 3-for-3 on fourth downs, used a surprise quarterback substitution to jumpstart a critical second-half drive and ran a halfback option to set up another key score.

One of them survived injuries to his best defensive player (Will Johnson) and best offensive lineman (Zak Zinter), somehow growing stronger without them.

One of them had his team produce points on all four second-half possessions, avoided any turnovers and essentially closed out the game with a 13-play, seven-plus-minute display of bullyball that represented everything holy in this rivalry.

Michigan 30, Ohio State 24.