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Date Title Body
12/14/2018 - 9:19pm Gravity is rubbing its hands…

Gravity is rubbing its hands and cackling with glee already with Ms. Upton.

Yar, the laws of physics be a hard mistress. 

12/14/2018 - 8:28pm Come on now. I like piling…

Come on now. I like piling on guys as much as the next man, but does this really qualify for negs??

12/14/2018 - 8:26pm I bought subs. It was crazy 

I bought subs. It was crazy 

12/14/2018 - 4:32pm He wasn't a 5*? Then I'm…

He wasn't a 5*? Then I'm confused: how could he possibly be good without being a 5*? I thought you had to be a 5* to be good? Our coaches need to step it up! Fiar Leyland!

12/14/2018 - 4:30pm I still can't bring myself…

I still can't bring myself to say the Bush is for certain better than David Harris.

But I can't say for certain that he's worse, either.

Go forth to the league and get paid, young man.

12/14/2018 - 4:26pm It was even funnier when he…

It was even funnier when he told people that his enemies ridiculed him for being faithful to his wife. 

Is she perhaps his 6th wife? What happened to his alleged previous 5 wives?!?!?!

CJK5W*

*allegedly 

12/14/2018 - 4:22pm To be fair, she was hot.

To…

To be fair, she was hot.

To be even fairer, that was one of the CREEPIEST moments in football history. And he. Just. Kept. Talking. About. It.

12/14/2018 - 8:18am I saw the Chargers-Chiefs…

I saw the Chargers-Chiefs game yesterday. For as much as Mahomes is, rightfully, being praised for his downfield success...there were a lot of TE screens and RB dump offs that were really really successful as well.

It's my dream to someday see Chris Evans used like the Patriots use James White. Or how the Saints use Alvin Kamara. In the bowl game, when Evans' first carry (and second and third and fourth) goes straight into the line for no gain, I might have a stroke.

Fast shifty players need to be used like fast shifty players dammit. 

12/13/2018 - 3:23pm There IS an implicit set of…

There IS an implicit set of recommendations in the report:

"See that? All of that? Don't do that. Like, at all."

12/13/2018 - 8:09am Oh I understand the thinking…

Oh I understand the thinking. I just disagree that it makes any kind of sense. I'm mostly incensed because we did NOT run the offense we ran all year, we ran a simplified version of it. And our utter predictability by personnel group.

12/13/2018 - 8:06am Agree to disagree,…

Agree to disagree, respectfully.

The offense and the defense both shit the bed. When it was clear that we were going to give up a lot of points, it would have been nice if the offense seemed capable of recognizing or participating in a shootout. 

To your point, just because 17 is enough (personally, I can't disagree more since, say, 2001) doesn't mean we should TRY for 17, or be capped at 17.

12/12/2018 - 11:40pm Someone did a personnel…

Someone did a personnel analysis the other week. It showed pretty clearly that Michigan called a run play pretty much every time there were fewer than 3 WRs on the field, and something like 40% of the time there were.

OSU could tee up against the run. Space Coyote did a good job convincing me that Michigan did add tweaks. But they also took away RPOs, zone read keepers, and pre snap motion.

For the life of me I can't imagine any sane explanation for our offensive (yes, both meanings) game plan. Pete Carroll had a better rationale for the last play of the Super Bowl.

12/12/2018 - 7:21pm One week since you looked at…

One week since you looked at me

12/12/2018 - 2:43pm The fact that he was…

The fact that he was dismissed makes me think that they'll stick. [I have no inside knowledge and this is just a guess].

Harbaugh has a tendency to suspend when there may be smoke but no fire. Outright dismissal generally has in the past meant that the internal investigation has concluded that there's fire to go with the smoke.

One good thing about Harbaugh is that he's very consistent in his actions. He usually won't answer your questions directly,  but he acts in a very consistent way that implies a formula to his thinking.

12/12/2018 - 2:30pm What have we seen from…

What have we seen from Milton to suggest he's a great passer?

Or that he has better command of the offense than Shea or Dylan?

12/12/2018 - 12:31pm Dantonio's decision to play…

Dantonio's decision to play him while clearly injured may have cost the guy a career. 

12/12/2018 - 11:52am Shea should definitely come…

Shea should definitely come back. This is just my observation, but during the draft evaluation process...

If you're shorter than average (6'3"ish for a QB, let's say), they will harp on your faults.

If you're taller than average, you're "full of potential" and "a physical specimen" no matter how you performed in college. 

Scouts, talking heads, and GMs can be incredibly stupid 

12/11/2018 - 1:16pm This is a well reasoned take…

This is a well reasoned take. The one thing I would caution is including any player on his rookie deal into the collection of "potential all time greats".

Completely agree that Mahomes looks amazing. Dak Prescott did too. Cam Newton. RGIII, the list goes on. Wait until they get scouted and a coach tries to construct an offense around them. Most fall back to earth. 

12/11/2018 - 1:03pm The used football is under a…

The used football is under a 5y/$30m contract. 

12/10/2018 - 7:36pm Depends. Who's smoking who…

Depends. Who's smoking who tonight???

12/10/2018 - 2:10pm It wasn't too too long ago…

It wasn't too too long ago that GR failed as a city. Furniture manufacturers abandoned their factories, and, surprise!, didn't come back no matter what. 

It took a renewed focus on healthcare, education, and commerce for GR to start recovering. And now they're doing great and its housing market is getting Chicago-esque.

It's going to take that kind of shift for Detroit to blossom too. We shouldn't give up on it, but there's some massive cultural outlook that needs to change. Manufacturing is probably gone forever. So what's next? Until the city/state can answer that question, little will change.

Oh, I also heartily endorse 1) concentrate the population into a reasonable area, and 2) expand public transportation to reasonable and forward-looking levels.

12/06/2018 - 9:13am In a perfect world, it would…

In a perfect world, it would be because Aaron Rodgers has the personality of a cardboard box. But even early-00s Will Smith would have a hard time overcoming the premise and writing that those commercials roll out.

12/05/2018 - 11:01pm Plot twist! He's getting his…

Plot twist! He's getting his chauffeur's license

12/05/2018 - 8:20pm You...you do understand that…

You...you do understand that some people find sexual assault to be unpleasant,  right? That maybe the trauma and guilt of the experience can have lingering effects??

That NOT ONE of these women came forward looking to turn this into a payday??? That maybe the fucking point of massive monetary penalties is to discourage soulless dickbags like Engler from enabling future predators????

You are quite obviously a psychopath, no ability to tell right from wrong, and zero empathy. I hope you and I never meet.

12/05/2018 - 4:27pm Gary and Winovich are…

Gary and Winovich are supremely talented. But I spent much of this year pining for Taco, Wormley, Glasgow, and Hurst

12/05/2018 - 2:50pm Izzo is too busy screaming …

Izzo is too busy screaming "toughness!!" at his team and making them practice in football pads to do any game planning 

12/05/2018 - 1:52pm Yes

Yes

12/05/2018 - 1:49pm I had a History prof who…

I had a History prof who asked us to buy 20 books from Shaman Drum. That semester, I learned that you can wait until a significant reading assignment or exam depends on that book, then buy it. I ended up with 5 out of the 20.

My English class on fantasy/sci fi writing, I had to buy all 20+. I'll never get back the hours that I spent reading Orlando.

12/05/2018 - 10:25am I'll play: I think that it…

I'll play: I think that it would have made a difference this year and ONLY this year.

Why?

2015 we had no chance. 2016 and 2017 the game plans were superb and there was nothing a hypothetical anti-Urban could have done better.

2018 was the only Game where better utilization of our players would have netted us a win, or a better showing.

12/05/2018 - 10:01am In all seriousness, there…

In all seriousness, there are plenty of great people who end up at MSU. I've had plenty of friends who went to MSU, I've dated several women who went there.

They are generally the grad students who have no loyalty to anything but their grad program or PhD advisors. They are almost always the quiet ones who know better than to get involved with sports fandom. And yeah, they adopt the rivalry with Michigan, but they act more amused about it than bitter.

We don't hear about or from these people. But they're there. And I feel really bad for them - they didn't sign up the budget cuts, victim blaming, or the devaluation of their degrees. 

12/04/2018 - 6:35pm I don't often get involved…

I don't often get involved in the STARZ conversations, but I think I've identified your problem: you've confused cause and effect. 

Players get stars because they're good (gross oversimplification, I know). They aren't good because they get stars.

We recruit players because we think they're good. We don't recruit players because they have stars.

In a perfect world with perfect information, there would be perfect alignment between those two statements and perfect reciprocity between each half of those two statements.  We do not live in a perfect world, which is why there is a continual stream of underestimated players going pro or becoming stars in college. 

I'm sure I've confused you, so let me simplify: stars generally matter, but not for the reasons you think they do, and they aren't a perfect measure due to the inherent biases and errors that necessarily come with evaluating the athletic achievement/potential of teenagers. 

EDIT: to simplify even more, it's like thinking that the only good stocks to buy are the ones at their all time highs. Please tell me you don't think like that.

12/04/2018 - 3:36pm I hope that every gameplan…

I hope that every gameplan from now on is Nebraska style.

Brian characterized that game as "Harbaugh had a lot of twists and counters prepared, but once it became clear that Frost's team couldn't put up much of a fight, the interesting stuff was put back in the garage."

We should NEVER come out of the gate assuming that half of a creative game plan is enough. Florida should get our best kill shot right at the beginning. And after we've killed them, we should keep killing them. Double tap to the chest and a head shot. Then we should take off and nuke them from orbit. 

12/04/2018 - 1:41pm Nuance on the internet?!?!?!…

Nuance on the internet?!?!?!?!

12/03/2018 - 6:29pm You and I must have the same…

You and I must have the same dad. My dad used to say that basketball games were decided in the final 5 minutes.

12/03/2018 - 6:17pm "Hmm I need another back…

"Hmm I need another back that runs tough between the tackles."

- anonymous college OC

(Isnt it like 4.something yards per game??? Or doth my math fail me?)

12/03/2018 - 3:46pm Did we have two safeties…

Did we have two safeties named Metellus this year? Because you were obviously watching the other one.

The safety I was watching was fast, played like a safety (not the CB you obviously want), and our defense took a noticeable step backwards whenever he left the field. Should be good for mid rounds in the draft. 

12/03/2018 - 3:44pm Attempting to make Chris…

Attempting to make Chris Evans into an RB1, in-between-the-tackles runner...may have shortened my life by years this season.

I hate it and if I ever see Evans run directly at a LB again I may scream. Kamara from the Saints is an analogous type of runner (except I think Kamara is tougher)

12/03/2018 - 1:53pm Crazy shit happens when you…

Crazy shit happens when you travel to Northwestern. Crazy, unpredictable shit

12/02/2018 - 7:34pm Excellent straw man there. 

Excellent straw man there. 

12/01/2018 - 11:45pm I hear meds work better if…

I hear meds work better if you mix them with alcohol! Also, you tend to sleep much deeper that way!

/nobodyactuallydothisyouwilldie

12/01/2018 - 11:14pm This game is making me angry…

This game is making me angry. I'm far less emotionally invested in the Clemson game. Going to watch that instead. 

12/01/2018 - 8:15pm May I suggest Backdoor Sluts…

May I suggest Backdoor Sluts 9. Truly the finest installment of the series. If you're into that sort of thing.

12/01/2018 - 7:53pm Painter might be my second…

Painter might be my second favorite coach in the B1G. Last season's matchups were epic.

If even he can't solve Michigan's defense... we are really really good 

12/01/2018 - 10:03am Text exchange with my…

Text exchange with my girlfriend:

Gf: what time is the UM football game on Saturday?

Me: no Michigan game :'( but there are couple other games I want to catch

Gf: what time? Can we do something that's actually fun at some point?

Me: sure, what did you have in mind?

Gf: idk 

Me: well, I'm down for anything you like

Gf: can you find us a new restaurant to try?

 

And this, friends, is how I am going to miss the B1G Championship Game 

11/30/2018 - 7:00pm So... in the lead-up to The…

So... in the lead-up to The Game, a Michigan coordinator was in talks with Maryland, and his unit had some head scratching strategy en route to a blowout loss to OSU.

I feel like I've heard this story before.

11/30/2018 - 6:56pm Because what college kids…

Because what college kids enjoy is the word "mandatory" when they know that something is their choice. 

McShay meant "in his best interests".

I hope Patterson returns. And practices airing it out to our WRs.

11/30/2018 - 6:53pm As a Michigan fan, I hope…

As a Michigan fan, I hope Haskins goes pro.

I also have a sneaking suspicion that even if Haskins returns he won't start next year. Urban's game is much more Martell.

11/30/2018 - 5:28pm Man. The San Jose St…

Man. The San Jose St. Spartans missed out on a revenue stream by not contacting me directly. 

11/30/2018 - 3:05pm I would PAY to see a team…

I would PAY to see a team coordinated by Al Borges and Gerg Robinson. 

Preferably with John L Smith as the HC

11/30/2018 - 3:02pm Someone remind him to call…

Someone remind him to call the offense from his personal phone rather than a university issued device