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Date Title Body
11/29/2018 - 8:26am I would assume the original…

I would assume the original reference to a hairshirt was more in line with the ancient religious penance of wearing shirts made of course animal hair against the skin as a means of self-flagellation. 

But, then again, those ads are also pretty gross.

11/28/2018 - 11:56am Michigan completed 64.5% of…

Michigan completed 64.5% of their passes on the year for 8.2 ypa, both top-25 in the country and above a ton of teams that throw the ball a bunch.

How much does volume figure into that? By count, Michigan is 107th in the country in passing attempts. Completion percentage and YPA don't mean much when you barely throw the ball compared to your peers in that stat category. They're good stats, but they don't indicate a team that can thrive throwing the ball all over the yard, simply because the team hasn't done it consistently.

11/26/2018 - 2:15pm Not a mistake. Really, my…

Not a mistake. Really, my attempts at winning him over to Michigan were essentially the equivalent of a 3-star RS senior CB trying to cover a 5-star on a drag route. The entirety of my family is full of OSU grads and fans. I am a blue island stuck in the middle of a red ocean of Buck Cherry songs, dudes in capes and cowboy hats shooting me with finger guns, and emails that read like this: "Hey *an! I a* e*ailing you about to*orrow's *eeting".

I tried to pressure the QB. Turns out I couldn't get home.

The trade off is that I get him for the Browns.





Aw, fuck.

11/26/2018 - 11:35am As soon as the blocked punt…

As soon as the blocked punt settled into the arms of the OSU player (because of course it did), I politely excused myself from the room where my wife and son (both OSU fans) were also watching the game and spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening in my office doing grad school work.

But, really, what I was doing was trying to figure out a way to adjust my life so that I stopped dreading this game. Before it happens. Every year, living in Columbus, this game week crushes a bit of my soul. Normally, it's the pre-gloating, and knowing that Michigan is probably going to lose. I keep my head down, smile the self-deprecating smile, and listen to the cooler poopers condescendingly try to be nice to me, not realizing that their smug arrogance drips through even more as they gaslight about why Jim Harbaugh really should be fired for not beating them after four seasons.

This year was supposed to be different. In hindsight, the fact that every single Buckeye fan that I know was saying things like, "Well, it looks like this year you guys will finally beat us. I just hope it's not too bad!" was the worst kind of water torture. I had no confidence going in that Michigan would win, but as soon as you say that to a Buckeye fan their response is some patronizing quip about how "Michigan's expectations really have changed" -- whether because they're willfully ignorant about how lucky they've been to have had the coaches they've had, or they've never experienced the fallout of that One Bad Hire and the damage it does to a program for a decade.

So, thankfully (I guess), I didn't see the rest of the bloodletting. I tapped out. And, after three hours of ruminating, that's the only answer I can come up with. The only way that I can think of to mitigate the horrible pit in my stomach all during Game Week here as these douche nuggets tape over all of their M's and high-five while listening to Smashmouth is to treat this Michigan team like Freddy Kruger. If I take back all the energy I give them, they don't exist. They can't hurt me anymore.

I have to stop watching. When I considered the total hours I've spent this season watching Michigan football, and considered how much other stuff with lasting value that I could have been doing instead, it was the only conclusion I could reach. My wife asked, "Well, didn't you enjoy all of the other games?" as if that was comfort. What was the fleeting enjoyment for if it was all a mirage to come crashing down in so clusterfuckian a fashion?

What if, starting with the bowl game, I just stopped watching? What if I just focused on the yearly exceeded expectations of John Beilein's squad instead? If my choice is Groundhog Day Hell or nothingness, I choose nothingness.


Whew. That felt good to get off my chest. I'll see you all for the bowl game, then?

11/21/2018 - 11:53am Columbus as a city is…

Columbus as a city is actually very nice; I've lived here since 1999.

Day to day, 80% of OSU fans are fine. It's the 20% of cooler poopers that you have to watch out for.

11/20/2018 - 6:46pm To OP's question, though, if…

To OP's question, though, if his/her car is parked somewhere near campus, and OSU loses the game, thousands of drunk assholes will walk past it, see the license plate, and will be tempted. And then probably delete their text messages about it.

11/20/2018 - 6:41pm Columbus MGoResident here…

Columbus MGoResident here...

I would say that, if you're truly concerned about it, best to not take the chance. I would recommend using the COTA park and ride if you are OK with a bit of a bus ride. There is a station on the north end (check the Crosswoods link on the page linked above) of the city that's pretty good (and the parking is F-R-E-E free), and they offer express service on game days. You might want to get there pretty early; that's the biggest caveat.

While I can't guarantee anything one way or the other, it's always best not to park a car with a UofM license plate on OSU campus during game week.


Hope this is helpful. Let me know if you have other logistical questions about Columbus; happy to help.

11/15/2018 - 11:12am Context matters. Duke is…

Context matters. Duke is also, how you say, much more loaded with blue-chip talent. In terms of overall expectations, I'd say Michigan's performance was much, much stronger in that context.

11/08/2018 - 11:25am How many points scored?


How many points scored?

Not sure; all I can say is:

"Prepare your buttgers."


11/01/2018 - 3:54pm Don Brown is waiting


Don Brown is waiting

to eviscerate you since

you tried to score late

10/31/2018 - 2:30pm I mean, I really can't argue…

I mean, I really can't argue with that.

It still doesn't stop me from eating 7-10 every time I visit GH.

10/31/2018 - 11:15am If you're going to go to…

If you're going to go to Grand Haven and not at least get a Pronto Pup and some Oddside, what's the point?

10/25/2018 - 1:55pm I commented on it last year,…

I commented on it last year, but James Franklin is going to rue the day he ran it up last year:

It's clear that Penn State had this game circled since the final whistle of last year's game.

So, if the "REVENGE!" game is the way this series will be played, I don't get why Franklin played with karma by having his team snap the ball with :01 showing in the fourth quarter is a game already won many times over. Sure he saw what happened to Chris Ash last year, right?

Tables are completely turned:

one team is coming off a bye week, at home, and is the team with revenge on its mind. And, this year, it ain't Penn State.

10/20/2018 - 7:20pm Not gonna lie, the Higdon…

Not gonna lie, the Higdon fumble from falling into the mesh point had me squarely in the BPONE.

It wasn't pretty--this one never is--but a win is a win in a rivalry game. Seeing Penn State struggle a bit with Indiana and the Minnesota team that hung with OSU get eviscerated by Nebraska helps, too.

10/18/2018 - 2:25pm They really, really…

They really, really celebrate when anything goes well, fans, players, coaches, everyone. The smallest thing can bring out the biggest celebration from State. It's just part of their culture. 

This made me slap my office floor.

10/08/2018 - 3:45pm Another way to look at it:…

Another way to look at it: Mayfield wasn't as "good" as Lamar Jackson in '16. He stayed at Oklahoma and clearly passed Jackson. Mayfield was starting for the Browns and Jackson was nothing more than a wildcat QB yesterday. Another year with Lincoln Riley certainly helped Mayfield.

Now, the word of caution is that Mayfield--despite his stature--has the arm talent and the accuracy that you can't teach (if he's 6'2" him going #1 overall would have been a no-brainer). As a Browns fan (sigh) I can say that I was skeptical. And, while three games isn't a career or an indicator of his future success or lack thereof, it's hard to dispute that he has an amazing ability to keep his eyes downfield and hits guys where the ball needs to be on almost every throw. Shea doesn't have that, and may never have that; I'm not sure it's a skill you can learn.

09/17/2018 - 1:48pm Is that why Bobrovsky and…

Is that why Bobrovsky and Panarin can't wait to get the hell out of Columbus?

08/24/2018 - 9:52am In ohio its already old news…

In ohio its already old news and by next week will be forgotten.

Sad, but true. The overwhelming response I've seen here locally is "Ugh, this sucks, but I'm glad it's over with."

08/24/2018 - 9:50am ...and possibly getting a…

...and possibly getting a little money on the side...

08/24/2018 - 8:30am Of course they think it was…

Of course they think it was worth it. I live in Columbus. The large majority of that fanbase *truly believes* that responses like this are just "sour grapes because [we] can't beat [them] on the field." They'll point to a National Championship and their recruiting and say, "Of course it was worth it."

That they almost always--without fail--default to making it about football is a total projection; that's all they'll ever care about because it's their identity. 

The irony is that they all HATED him in '06 for running up the score in the NC game. To expect that fanbase to have suddenly sprouted a conscience is laughably short-sighted.

08/22/2018 - 11:52am Also, as an Ohio resident, I…

Also, as an Ohio resident, I can confirm that he's not "one of the good ones". He's just another former Wall Streeter who pumps big business and kowtows to the religious right when it suits him electorally. He's been downright horrible on education (sorry, spouse of an educator here) and has only taken this "Hey, I'm one of the sane ones!" tack when it became politically expedient in the face of Trumpism.

08/02/2018 - 3:51pm I didn't say he should be…

I didn't say he should be fired. I think he *might* get fired, and if so it will be because of Title IX or something like that that the institution can't ignore.

All I was trying to do was to reiterate the author's point, which is what I thought you were questioning by arguing a straw man about Urban trying to fix the Smiths' marriage. Brian's point is that Meyer's defense of "I didn't know" is a crock. Nowhere did Brian try to prescribe how Meyer should have intervened vis a vis their actual marriage; rather, it's how he should have handled it at the program level, which involves making sure the institution knows what's happening and that he's notified the proper parties.

But, you move the goalposts if it makes you feel better about all of this.

08/02/2018 - 1:53pm Brian's argument isn't that…

Brian's argument isn't that Meyer should have stepped in and tried to fix their marriage. His argument is that standing up and saying at Big Ten Media Day that there's no way he could have known is hollow bullshit, because either he knew and is lying or he didn't know and is clueless and/or creating a culture of willful ignorance out of self-preservation.


That culture could, ya know, extend to other things above and beyond just Smith.

08/01/2018 - 12:46pm There is, however, a pretty…

There is, however, a pretty ugly sounding story around their diving club coach and some pretty yucky stuff.

08/01/2018 - 12:44pm To be fair, it's not the…

To be fair, it's not the same AD. The wrestling stuff happened under Andy Geiger.

07/24/2018 - 1:19pm I mean, if it's possible to…

I mean, if it's possible to not know your five-star players are getting free cars and tattoos, it's also theoretically possible to not know your WR coach (and star recruiter) is beating his wife.



04/30/2018 - 8:35am Zach Gentry is actually quite

Zach Gentry is actually quite integral at moving the team down the field. 

04/03/2018 - 10:03am Is looking at chest film also

Is looking at chest film also a game-day hobby of yours?

03/23/2018 - 2:34pm Glad to see Terrance Mann

Glad to see Terrance Mann took time out from watching baseball in an Iowa cornfield to lace up his high-tops.

03/09/2018 - 8:44am OT Bang

OT, but just wanted to pass along that Zach Werenski has scored in three straight games for the Blue Jackets and has now set their franchise record for defenseman goals in a single season. And he's only 20.

Here's the record breaker from Tuesday...

...and a Power Play laser beam last night...

02/23/2018 - 12:48pm This

This is the feeling I get, too. Like when OSU "fired" Tim Beck, but didn't really "fire" him so much as kept him around until he quietly landed another job somewhere else.  

01/08/2018 - 11:38am As long as the lava swallows

As long as the lava swallows everything but the couches, which it summarily sets on fire instead...

01/08/2018 - 8:47am Would humbly request...

...the line of demarcation be moved to I-71 and points east. Live west of it, work east of it.

10/23/2017 - 12:58pm It's clear that Penn State

It's clear that Penn State had this game circled since the final whistle of last year's game.

So, if the "REVENGE!" game is the way this series will be played, I don't get why Franklin played with karma by having his team snap the ball with :01 showing in the fourth quarter is a game already won many times over. Sure he saw what happened to Chris Ash last year, right?

09/27/2017 - 10:01am Ugh, Prarie Fire. 
I turned

Ugh, Prarie Fire. 

I turned 21 on a Sunday, so like good citizens my fraternity brothers picked me up (literally, physically) and carried me to a bar at 11:59 Saturday night. They then told me that, as a member of the fraternity, it was a rite of passage to take a specific shot on your 21st birthday.

I took the shot.

Nothing at first.

Then, a complete, burning, implosion in the back of my mouth.

I chased it with a whole 12-ounce Miller Lite glass, and then ran to the bathroom expecting to throw up. Thankfully (maybe, maybe not) I kept it down.

I come out, they're all laughing maniacally. I ask them what *that* was, and they told me a Prairie Fire.

F that drink.

09/27/2017 - 8:51am (No subject)

09/21/2017 - 3:01pm What is this GIF from? I

What is this GIF from? I simultaneously need to know what happens next while also not wanting to see what happens next.

08/17/2017 - 10:37am Re: OSU

While one can't argue with Meyer's record and his recruiting,

"The good news for a program so clearly in need of good news is that they return pretty much everyone"

Not exactly. Their entire secondary, their best LB, their best OL, their best Percy Harvin impersonator, and their best WR are all gone.

03/11/2017 - 3:48pm Well, not only did he have UM

Well, not only did he have UM as a 7, but he had them in a region with Minnesota as the 6. The win would have to make that discussion that much tighter now, no? A win tomorrow? Fuhgeddaboutit.

01/26/2017 - 11:52am As one of the resident MGoColumbusites

You cannot have him!

I don't think he's ready to leave here, TBH. The team has finally started to bubble up some of the young talent he and Jarmo Kekalainen (mostly Jarmo) have found, and they've been starting to see dividends from the later rounds as well (which we hardly ever did under previous FOs). I think Davidson wants to stay and see this group mature a bit.

Honestly, us even getting him was a coup in and of itself. If the Blues' ownership wasn't pennywise, he'd probably still be there. I don't think ownership here is ready to cut him loose like they were in St. Louis.

12/16/2016 - 11:00am Have an upvote, and my

Have an upvote, and my condolences.

12/16/2016 - 9:10am Look at them sideburns...

...he looks like a girl. Now, Johnny Unitas... there's a haircut you can set your watch to.

12/12/2016 - 3:00pm In this scenario (getting

In this scenario (getting Harris), wouldn't we pass Bama by virtue of them decreasing from losing Harris?

12/09/2016 - 12:53pm Banks

I see him listed as the seventh-ranked guard in the country on one site, but also see him listed at 6'7" (!!) and around 340-350 and as a tackle elsewhere. Is that the reason there might be some hesitation on whether or not he's a "take" for Michigan? It would seem their need for space at tackle would block him considering better options on the board, but if he's a guard he would almost have to be a take, no?

12/05/2016 - 1:42pm I thought Beanie Wells would

I thought Beanie Wells would be a good player in that Whisenhunt system until his lower body fell apart like the Blues Mobile.

12/05/2016 - 1:19pm The first one that popped

The first one that popped into my head was actually John Cooper.


That just felt like someone trying to trick him into praising Washington in order to turn it into a "see, even Harbaugh thinks UW is better than UM!" But, then again, I'm cynical and largely distrustful of the media-at-large.

11/18/2016 - 12:02pm I know he'd only be a Jr if he was still at UM...

...but in case you haven't had a chance to keep up with Zach Werenski in the NHL...

Let's just say, it's started off well.

10/31/2016 - 3:31pm Lost in...
Sure he did, buddy. This was right after Khalid Hill got his ass kicked by Montae Nicholson. Smith just absolutely truck-sticking Bullough at the goal line. Seeing his withered carcass hit the turf while Smith's feet dance by into the end zone... 

10/28/2016 - 12:59pm I just wanted to say thanks

I just wanted to say thanks to Adam for taking the time to really crack open the reasoning behind Lewis's "protest" (that's not the right word, I know, but bear with me), since so much of the national (*cough*racist*cough*) narrative always ends up in one of two (or both) places:

1. These spoiled athletes don't know how good they have it and should shut up and be grateful, and/or

2. Why don't these whiny babies actually do something in their communities if they're so pissed?

Lewis shows through this writing that he is addressing both of these "concerns" head on, and that there is tremendous thought and conviction behind what he does. If more people took the time to, ya know, actually TALK to the athletes making their statements during the anthem, perhaps we could actually move toward what Lewis himself so eloquently states:

He posits relationship building as a potential salve, adding that he just wants everyone to see each other in a positive light.

That's God damn right.

10/04/2016 - 3:23pm Yeah, to me it looks almost

Yeah, to me it looks almost exactly like the call that got Joey Bosa kicked out of the Fiesta Bowl. And that was the right call, too, by the letter of the rulebook.