2019 wisconsin
emo
i hope this post title is emo enough for mgojen
game columns
david foster wallace
[Bryan Fuller]

A Funeral For Geese Comment Count

Brian September 23rd, 2019 at 12:48 PM

9/21/2019 – Michigan 14, Wisconsin 35 – 2-1, 0-1 Big Ten

The End of the Tour, a movie about Rolling Stone writer David Lipsky glomming on to David Foster Wallace at the end of his Infinite Jest book tour, is immediately good. The first sensory experience the movie gives you is the ultra-deep cut instrumental from REM's Automatic For the People:

This is a song with no oboes in it that sounds like nothing but oboes. It is weird, lilting, and mournful, a funeral for geese. The opening scene of the movie is Lipsky getting a call from someone trying to confirm a rumor that Wallace has committed suicide, because Lipsky once spent a few days on the road with him.

Wallace has. Lipsky goes through his tapes.

[After THE JUMP: marshmallows!]

The rest of the movie is a flashback to those few days on the road. Two highbrow white guys talk to each other about stuff. Mostly about how they are precarious and alone, the guy with the critic-melting novel and the other guy with a novel who also writes for Rolling Stone. Sometimes they bluff. The introduction of a woman, any woman, is cause for a tiff. Jason Segel, the guy who's inserted by default as Affable Stoner in every Judd Apatow movie, plays DFW.

I know, okay? I know. It sat in our Netflix queue for months, looming, more a threat than a promise. But you watch it for a bit and questions surface. Questions like:

  • How did this get made?
  • How is it good?
  • When will my wife stop watching it?

At press time answers were not available for any of these questions, and only the third has even the distant prospect of resolution. I played two seconds of "New Orleans Instrumental No. 1" to confirm it was indeed the song used and she popped her head out of the office. "Ooh," I project she thought.

But anyway because of your living situation this thing has been on a lot. And when you're a guy who writes about Michigan the aftermath-of-spirit-crushing defeat mine has been well and truly depleted. Do you want chipper ha-ha that was weird? Done. Talking people off the ledge? Done. Outright nihilism? Done. Columns about buying a mattress? Done.

So when it's time to write something about a game that Michigan spiritually lost 35-0 after being favored by a touchdown preseason the goose funeral music follows you around. It is my theory that I can get it to stop following me around by loosing it on you, the reader.

-----------------------

In the aftermath of Wallace's demise there are two great unfortunate things. The first is the relegation of Infinite Jest into the category of intellectual bro-novel that sites like The Toast use as a stand-in for a particular sort of bearded quasi-intellectual who is the seething insecurity the End of the Tour protagonists are enduring minus any offsets like having a face-melting novel or writing for Rolling Stone.

I dunno, I wasn't a woman on a train in Brooklyn in 2013. I'm sure if I'd been subject to hordes of slavering women trying to butter me up with copies of Beloved I'd be pretty negative about Beloved. But this would not make Beloved any less of a banger, as the kids say. IJ's status is increasingly as a punchline in an unfunny joke about the patriarchy of hipster dudebros, and that sucks.

This is painful to me for many reasons. Foremost amongst them is that it says a bunch of things I think everyone should take to heart about entertaining themselves to death. The title is literal: the book weaves back and forth in time and ends abruptly, seemingly unfinished. It was only after I'd gone back to the beginning to try to piece together some plot points that I realized I was re-reading the thing. It was a loop, a literally infinite jest.

The second unfortunate thing is the Hallmark-ization of Wallace's commencement speech to Kenyon College. Titled "This Is Water," it became a minor sensation and became the kind of small book you give to someone at a juncture when they are getting all the small books. The way the thing is discussed is the opposite of ASMR. Your skin crawls backwards into the primordial ooze:

This is Water by David Foster Wallace (Full Transcript and Audio)

David Foster Wallace‘s 2005 commencement speech to the graduating class at Kenyon College, is a timeless trove of wisdom — right up there with Hunter Thompson on finding your purpose and living a meaningful life.

I feel like I shouldn't have to explain this? But I have to anyway? Holy hopping death, following up "a timeless trove of wisdom" with a link to "Hunter Thompson," no S, on finding your purpose: both of these people murdered themselves and now I know why. It's you, FS dot blog. You did it. Give Thompson his S back.

Despite this, the Kenyon college speech is also good. Its key passage is Wallace envisioning a dreary trip to a mausoleum of a supermarket as part of another routinely long day. There are traffic and lines. This doesn't resonate with my personal experience of shopping, in which I take DRC to Busch's and people there recognize us and he attempts to push the cart at supersonic velocities while cleaning the place out of marshmallows. There one specific domain, however, in which the mental state he describes does apply:

… the traffic jams and crowded aisles and long checkout lines give me time to think, and if I don’t make a conscious decision about how to think and what to pay attention to, I’m gonna be pissed and miserable every time I have to shop. Because my natural default setting is the certainty that situations like this are really all about me. About MY hungriness and MY fatigue and MY desire to just get home, and it’s going to seem for all the world like everybody else is just in my way. And who are all these people in my way? And look at how repulsive most of them are, and how stupid and cow-like and dead-eyed and nonhuman they seem in the checkout line, or at how annoying and rude it is that people are talking loudly on cell phones in the middle of the line. And look at how deeply and personally unfair this is.

I can't tell you I'm any good at shaping my attention in this regard. Offseason projects to walk more and drink less have been drilled between the eyes just three games in. But if there is a way out it's probably through that door.

----------------------------

48778632052_30cc666141_k

[Patrick Barron]

The nice thing about a game like Saturday's is that you blaze through the Kubler-Ross stages in a half and are left at acceptance. (Maybe you're still in depression.) This is probably it for the foreseeable future. It's not what we hoped for when Michigan hired Jim Harbaugh and his astonishing track record.

Instead: this. Michigan's SP+ rankings under Harbaugh: 10, 6, 13, 10. Michigan's currently 26 and sinking like a brick. Prior to this year that's remarkably consistent in the face of some difficulties like not having any quarterbacks. It's not what it needs to be for Michigan to be a consistent challenger to Ohio State. It's good enough to make the idea of trying to hire someone else absurd. OSU just hired a short-term coordinator with no head coaching experience; all coach hires except Urban Meyer are crapshoots.

So this is it: pretty good, sabotaged by an instability inherent in the head coach. It is not Infinite Jest's Entertainment, so appealing as to be lethal. Maybe at some point we'll turn a game on and it'll be a nice time. If it's not, oh well. It's time to adapt to the temperature of the water.

BRIC-A-BRAC

is cancelled this week; UFR will address the actual game parts. To be perfectly frank I wasn't paying the usual level of attention.

Comments

funkifyfl

September 23rd, 2019 at 1:33 PM ^

Hard to swallow but this is it - lots of 9-3 +/- 1 win. A couple of 11-1 sprinkled in if we're lucky along with some CCGs. A 7-5 when things go sideways. Back to Lloyd and if we're being honest, back to Michigan.

Joined: 01/21/2011

MGoPoints: 3086

imafreak1

September 23rd, 2019 at 1:34 PM ^

I'm confused regarding Brain's opinion of the DFW movie. He didn't like it? But why?

I went through a period were I was equally irritated and fascinated with all things DFW. Probably because I find a lot of writing to be fantastic but a lot of the man to be less fantastic. When the man bleeds too much in the writing--I don't know what to think. And he's dead and we all know how that happened. So it feels bad to have uncharitable views of his personality.

The movie is kind of the same--irritating but interesting.

My biggest problem with the movie is that it propagates the absurd lie that DFW told about going to church dances when he was really going to rehab and AA meetings because he denied being an addict--even though his addiction is plan to see in much of his writing. I only started reading his stuff after he was dead so I have no idea if those lies were plausible when he was telling them. I don't know how anyone could read Infinite Jest and not immediately realize it was written by an addict.

Joined: 07/02/2008

MGoPoints: 2844

JBLPSYCHED

September 23rd, 2019 at 1:46 PM ^

I think he’s saying it was a good book with an important point to make but...DFW committed suicide so does that prove the point or completely undermine it?

Even if DFW was an addict aren’t we all sort of addicted to Michigan football? There’s no ‘there there’ so...time to stop expecting a new/different/better experience and turn it off. Maybe it’ll be different some day but probably not. This is real life so Onward!

Joined: 11/27/2010

MGoPoints: 7441

BlueinOK

September 23rd, 2019 at 1:38 PM ^

I’m so glad I spent the day at a birthday party for my daughter’s best friend instead of watching the game. My wife said I could check my phone but when I saw it was 14-0 and then 28-0 the next time (plus all the text from friends about how everything sucked) I was done looking. My daughters and wife had a great time Saturday afternoon. And I’m happy I was there instead of in front of the TV. 

Joined: 12/06/2009

MGoPoints: 15029

Maximinus Thrax

September 23rd, 2019 at 1:41 PM ^

This is pretty much how I feel.  I was in A2 for the weekend and reluctantly watched the first half at the Haymaker with friends while really wanting to do other things.  The first half performance was kind of a relief.  It didn't take much convincing to get my crew to leave after that.  We took a sweaty long walk in the Arb and I think I decided to cancel my free three-week subscription to YouTube TV when it runs out Thursday.  I feel I just might be able to quit sports for a while and be just fine.  I never even considered doing this during the Rich Rod years and I am at peace with it.  Maybe I'll tune in for the Sparty game.   

Joined: 10/26/2008

MGoPoints: 5182

Blue Mind and Heart

September 23rd, 2019 at 1:41 PM ^

Was looking forward to this recap today after a day of self-imposed isolation from Michigan football.  I needed to revisit the scene.  To try to make sense of what is going wrong. Instead I get many, many words about why I wouldn’t understand the many, many words in Infinite Jest. 

At least the OSU “WHATEVER” column didn’t waste my time   

 

Joined: 12/31/2010

MGoPoints: 413

skegemogpoint

September 23rd, 2019 at 1:42 PM ^

A few points to consider:

1. at the point in time when Jim Harbaugh was hired, optimism was grounded in hope not fact. Why? Because the facts were he was a great turn-around artist not necessarily a great tactician. Only 5 yrs later can we confirm this to be true.

2. Like USD, Stanford and 49ers, Harbaugh turned UM around from the direction it was heading under Rodriguez and Hoke. So there's that. We are better off today than we were 5 yrs ago.

3. Michigan can still be successful with Harbaugh IF they find stability among assistants and stick to a singular philosophy (see Army, WIsco). But 3 OC's in 4 yrs tells a different story. 

4. The Gattis hire was the first real sign (to me) that Harbaugh was lost - and I believe it was a monumental mistake. Michigan's identity has always been power football.  Rather than run from it, he should have doubled down on it. 2 TE's and a bevy of Joe Kerridge types at FB.  Be a better version of Wisconsin. We certainly have the brand name and resources to do so but he chose a different path. In that regard, he is more like Rodriguez and less like Hoke.

Joined: 07/08/2008

MGoPoints: 503

Durham Blue

September 23rd, 2019 at 1:52 PM ^

I think Gattis' offensive ideas and system, when streamlined and properly integrated, will work great here.  It has both spread and power elements so we would get the best of both worlds.  It has tempo variation.  It has everything the big boys at the top of CFB are doing.  The issue is with the implementation (strategy, play calls) and players' execution of that system.  That is not going so well.  Maybe it'll click this season.  Maybe next?  I hope it doesn't take that long though.

Joined: 10/09/2008

MGoPoints: 30055

markusr2007

September 23rd, 2019 at 1:43 PM ^

Michigan is not Clemson, Ohio State, Alabama or Georgia/Oklahoma.

And Michigan will never be like those programs.

This is the Kubler-Ross acceptance stage for me.

We don't recruit like them. We don't play like them. And we definitely don't win like they do in big games.

Recruiting will always be affected by Michigan being Michigan, but also Michigan's performance on the field. Therefore, there will ALWAYS be a talent gap that is anywhere between fairly significant to Grand Canyon-esque. And as the 2016 game in Columbus clearly demonstrated, a few centimeters might as well be 12 miles. 

Ryan Day is a never-been-head-coach-before guy, but if he every needs to seal the deal with a top recruit, Urban Meyer can and will fly in to Columbus as special interim Athletic Director for Ohio State, and get him to sign.  Michigan cannot do this. Bo is dead. And zero 17 year old kids out htere care about or even know Lloyd Carr or what Charles Woodson did 21 years ago.

Michigan offers these 17 year old kids excellent facilities and superior academics, but it doesn't really matter to them enough.

This is going to be a below average year for Michigan football, which is once more going to affect recruiting and talent haul for Harbaugh.

They are 2-1 and I think Michigan could lose games against Iowa, MSU, Notre Dame, @PSU, @Maryland and Ohio State again. That's a 5-7 season possibility and no bowl game.

But Harbaugh's track record speaks for itself.  I think he needs more time to win at Michigan, because Michigan is very different.

In another universe, Michigan beat Ohio State in 2013 and again in 2016. And probably beat MSU in 2015. But in all universes Wisconsin throttled Michigan in 2019.

I'm very disappointed too, Michigan 2019 football season is pretty much over as far as BIG10 East Title and NC hopes.

Bu if this is going to be another 1984 train wreck season, then I think Harbaugh is the right coach to navigate the team through it.

There are 9 more games to play, and anything can and will happen. But I agree, it doesn't look good.

I just don't think it is wise to discount or underestimate Jim Harbaugh. There are very few college football coaches like him.

 

Joined: 10/21/2008

MGoPoints: 19372

dp47

September 23rd, 2019 at 2:57 PM ^

But Harbaugh's track record speaks for itself.  I think he needs more time to win at Michigan, because Michigan is very different.

What exactly is Harbaugh's track record, and why does he need "more time"?  His last big "success" was the 2012 season.  SF regressed in 2013-4.  

I just don't think it is wise to discount or underestimate Jim Harbaugh. There are very few college football coaches like him.

What has he done that makes that statement true?  Is he an elite Xs and Os coach?  Has he shown a penchant for elite player development?  Have his Michigan teams had the same identity of toughness that his SF and Stanford teams demonstrated?  Has he made good coaching hires?  Is he an elite recruiter? (more on that below).  Do Michigan teams look like he has an attention to detail that are the hallmark of great coaches?  Did he earn Bobby Kotick's money that underwrites the international trips he promotes (which could be better used to buy him out for a better coach) for them?  

Why is is not wise to discount him? It seems to me it would have been pretty fruitful to bet against him.

You are correct that there are very few coaches with his weird personality and desire to draw attention to himself.  You are correct that few coaches get into the petty squables that he does. but has he really performed that far above a replacement level coach at Michigan.  If you view the program as elite or potentially elite, what has he done to elevate the program?

The typical response is to point to Rich Rod and Hoke, but  Rich Rod left Hoke a roster dominated by upperclassmen, which formed the basis of the 2011 season.  Similarly, the 2017 NFL draft validated the 2012 and 2013 classes that Hoke left behind.  Harbaugh has not recruited any better than Hoke.  OSU will grow the gap in 2020. 2021 won't materialize after a 5-7/8-4 season in 2019, which makes 2020 a "must win year" to change perception for 2021 avoid a roster dominated by mediocre classes in 2021.  

Assuming the scenario above plays out (i.e., 2019 continues on its terrible path), the only real way to avoid it is to cut ties with Harbaugh and find a better solution rather than allowing the roster and recruiting to degrade further.  Obviously, any coaching hire is a crap shoot whether it is an established head coach or an ascending assistant.  

For those of you who ask who? Instead of playing fantasy football with coaches, why not conduct a quiet but national search over the next three months to gauge the interest and fit to be able to narrow the field?  There are a lot of different paths to success in college football.  Dabo's approach is totally different from Saban/Kirby.  Riley's is different from them as well.  Find a guy who can articulate what his path will be and why it is achievable at Michigan.  Take the chance and hope for the best.  to be clear, there are no guarantees of success and regression is possible, but I don't understand the logic of continuing Harbaugh's tenure, assuming 2019 follows the path it appears to be on.

haven't we seen enough to know change is needed?

Joined: 12/30/2018

MGoPoints: 37

Lordfoul

September 23rd, 2019 at 1:44 PM ^

Had amazing seats on the 50 - left with my head bowed to sincerely embarrassed Badger fans apologizing for the asswhooping their team was handing us.  All before the first half even ended.  Got some great Thai fusion and wanted to fight anyone in red when McCaffery was targeted the second time.  Was taking a nap before the game ended.

Thank you Brian for the great column.  I am with you in acceptance.  My fall Saturdays seem so suddenly wide open and I can't stop my growing optimism for what I can accomplish with all this extra time on my hands.

 

Joined: 07/01/2008

MGoPoints: 1747

BlueLikeJazz

September 23rd, 2019 at 1:45 PM ^

That was a suitable level of despondent and nihilistic.

But, man. There is nothing in that song that sounds remotely like an oboe. Unless of course that was meant metaphorically, in which case, carry on.

Joined: 08/29/2014

MGoPoints: 7394

kehnonymous

September 23rd, 2019 at 1:46 PM ^

For just over a year, I've had a squeaky little chichuahua mix who was a rescue dog.  She's not great with socialization, yaps too much, and there's a good reason we've given her the affectionate sometime nickname of "anus breath"

Saturday, with an escalating cavalcade of whimpers and frisky leaps, she pleaded and begged me to wrench myself from the slow-motion snuff porn disguised as a football game and take her our for a walk so she could sniff something outside the realms of our house.  Sometime between 14-0 and 28-0, I obliged.

Never forget that the one time you rescue a pet is paid a hundred times over by the times they rescue *you*

Joined: 11/25/2011

MGoPoints: 32999

Mannix

September 23rd, 2019 at 1:46 PM ^

If the expectations set by Harbs himself when he came here weren’t so high, I think most of us could simply enjoy the following:

  • Clean program
  • Fantastic opportunities for the Michigan players to see the world for free
  • Leaders being developed and sent out to make a difference 
  • Bowl game every year 
  • No worries about Championships of any kind but great Saturday experiences with cheaper water
  • Occasional win (See Purdue) over OSU
  • No gunners on a punt formation when the opposing team is bringing all 11 dudes 

Joined: 01/15/2009

MGoPoints: 12263

Rufus X

September 23rd, 2019 at 1:52 PM ^

Wow. This is a piece of shit effort to rival the crap that I saw on the field at Camp Randall on Saturday.  Suck it up Brian. We all hated the game and we all don't know what to make of the state of the program. We come here because we enjoy the content and on days like this we look to the proprietors of MGoBlog to help us make sense of our fandom. This is just self serving tripe.

 

Joined: 10/29/2010

MGoPoints: 3997

Fierce Decatur

September 23rd, 2019 at 1:55 PM ^

I don’t blame Brian for not writing anything about this game, what is there to write anyway? I feel bad that he will UFR it but at least maybe we’ll find out someone had a decent game? Acceptable game, maybe? It doesn’t matter, I’ll go to the Rutgers game with my dad on Saturday like I do for every home game for the last 30 years. We’ll have breakfast at Benny’s, I’ll cheer for the team, I’ll yell at the refs, I’ll do The Victors (hopefully a lot) but who the hell knows at this point. The rest of this season & probably every season the rest of my life will be hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. 

Joined: 01/24/2011

MGoPoints: 31

carolina blue

September 23rd, 2019 at 1:57 PM ^

No joke, I went to a festival this weekend and wasn’t  going to watch the game. I saw two plays. The first was the long completion (to bell?) that got us down inside the 10. There was a blip in the coverage, and the next play i saw was the Mason fumble. As soon as I saw the fumble I knew what kind of day it would be and never turned it back on. I checked the score via espn app around halftime just to confirm, having never watched another snap. Two snaps is all it took. I knew. 

 

Even in the depths of the last of the Brady Hoke era I wasn’t that hopeless. I knew our guys would fight. I know that, despite the talent, if something goes wrong with this team, we’re done. It sucks, and for the first time in my entire Michigan fandom, which was complete at age 7 (30 years ago), I will not watch even one snap of the game against Rutgers. We will likely win, and probably by a lot. I will check the score once sometime around 2:00, and again at4:00 to see the final. But I won’t watch the game. I’ll check the reaction here to see if I’ll watch the Iowa game. But I probably won’t watch that either because Iowa has a pulse and we will probably struggle. I can’t handle struggling with Iowa. 
 

Maybe if we show life against Iowa I’ll tune in to watch us beat down Illinois, but that back half of the season is going to be tough to watch. Really really tough. 

Joined: 02/12/2014

MGoPoints: 30259

Reno Drew

September 23rd, 2019 at 2:04 PM ^

My wife and I were just talking about David Lipsky a few days ago.   For a long time, she wondered why I read MGoBlog all the time.  Once she read this article, she now understands this isn't a typical sports website.  Incredible breakdown.

For last year's OSU game, I was doing a long trail race in Marin County.  I found myself fortunate that I didn't waste my time in front of a TV screaming at 18-23 year old kids and instead was doing something productive and healthy.   This year for Wisconsin, I was flying to Europe for a trip. After a bottle of nice Italian wine, lots of sightseeing, and being this far away is helping me put this loss in a more objective light.  

I still like what our program is doing with developing kids to be successful and having high academic standards but it's pretty clear that we're not going to be sniffing a big 10 championship anytime in the next 2-3 years.  I spent 5 years living in Madison in the mid-90's and I remember being impressed that the fan base there had no expectations and every win celebrated and losses didn't devastate the campus.  I'm trying to get to that mindset with Michigan football but it's just so hard. 

Joined: 10/16/2012

MGoPoints: 1703

ERdocLSA2004

September 23rd, 2019 at 2:05 PM ^

My literary knowledge and culture is admittedly lacking, so I didn’t understand much of that yet I still found it therapeutic.  Weird.

I'm definitely at the acceptance stage.  I think I was there after last years OSU game.  I will continue to be a fan that watches games when I have nothing else to do, instead of reserving time to watch them.  I’ll still go to a game a year because there is something special about football Saturday in the fall.  Until there is consistent play quality wins(if they happen) will be regarded as aberrations attributed to luck.  Until then, expect the worst and hope for the best, and Go Blue.

Joined: 01/08/2011

MGoPoints: 16123