I'm One of the Lucky Ones Comment Count

Ace October 9th, 2018 at 10:59 AM

TLDR: I've launched a GoFundMe and could use your help.

A little over seven years ago, in my eighth month at home waiting for the perfect job to fall out of the sky, something that would fit both my passion and my needs, a job posting went up on this site. I'd been reading MGoBlog since high school; now I was hastily assembling a resumé for a full-time job taking over for two talented and productive part-timers who'd secured full-time sportswriting gigs themselves.

At the time, I was two years removed from being diagnosed with ME/CFS after a protracted quest for answers to odd health problems. My condition hadn't stopped me from graduating school—a much easier task once I knew what I had on board—and launching my own site, for which I wrote on a near-daily basis. I figured writing from home about something I love would make it easy. (I wasn't entirely wrong there.) I had no idea what I was in for; neither did Brian, who only knew me from my work.

In the years since, I've been on the field at Michigan Stadium for the finishes to the 2011 Notre Dame and Ohio State games, covered seven seasons of football in some of the greatest settings in sports, interviewed high school kids who've gone on to become NFL starters, contributed to a report that expedited the exit of a reviled athletic director, had my research and a photograph published in a New York Times bestseller, covered a Hall of Fame coach (he liked my tweets!) and his two Final Four teams, sat down with future NBA first-rounders, and rubbed elbows with Michigan sports and journalism luminaries. I've lived out a childhood dream, one I know full well isn't just mine.

More importantly, I've become part of a true community. Brian created a special place here, not just focused on analyzing the programs we cover but the great impact sports can make on us and we can make on each other. When my health increasingly impacted my ability to work on a reliable schedule, he supported me with both job stability and greater flexibility to mold my work to my capabilities. When recovering from surgery this spring took longer than planned and wiped out my normal summer recovery time, he not only gave me the room to take a paid leave, he assured me I'd be taken care of regardless of the outcome.

I still didn't expect this to be the outcome. My body hasn't bounced back in the way I'd hoped. It's time, at least for now, for me to resign my post and focus on my health.

I can't put into words how much it's meant to work here and how much gratitude I have for the people in this community. I'd especially like to thank the crew here. Working with Brian, Seth, Heiko, Adam, Dave, Eric, Fuller, Patrick, Marc-Gregor, Alex, Bryan, Matt, Ethan, Morris, The_Mathlete, and everyone else who's contributed has been an honor and a pleasure. This is a remarkably talented group of people; they're also now great friends and a critical part of my support system, even though many of us often go months (sometimes years!) without seeing each other in person.

It's not in my nature to ask for help until I'm in dire need. In this case, unfortunately, my needs fit that description.

I'm currently living alone in a townhouse that costs $900/month after my housemates moved out on short notice when I was physically unable to move myself. My plan to continue living here involved considerable financial support from my family, which for reasons I won't get into here I can no longer totally rely upon, and continuing to work. This has all happened rather quickly.

I made a little under $50,000 last year—Brian has taken great care of me—and maintaining something close to that income would allow me to truly relax and do what I need to manage my health. Over the past several years, my annual medical costs have ranged from $10,000 to $30,000—my prescription medications alone nearly match my monthly rent. I need to make yearly trips to Alabama to see my ME/CFS specialist, a world-class doctor in a field with vanishingly few experts. (My doctor is one of a couple of ME/CFS specialists that the head of the Chronic Pain and Fatigue Research Center at U-M will recommend to patients; he does not recommend seeking treatment for ME/CFS at U-M.)

In my current state, work is not an option, and really hasn't been much of one since I had surgery on my gall bladder and esophagus in May. I'm in constant pain, my weight is stuck in a frighteningly low zone of 130-135 pounds (I'm 5'10), I'm sleeping around 12 hours a day and essentially in a state of semi-consciousness for several more, and simple tasks like doing the dishes or even walking down the stairs takes considerable effort. ME/CFS symptoms often follow waves of severity and this is a low point; I'm optimistic rest and less stress will at least stabilize my health to its pre-surgery level and allow me to live a fuller life.

With Brian's blessing and the support of the whole site, I've launched a GoFundMe to cover my living and medical costs for what can hopefully be at least a year off to rest and recover. Anything you can give would be deeply appreciated.

I should add that this is not goodbye. I still plan to be around a bit; I just can't keep up with the day-to-day. At the very least, I'll still be on Twitter—yes, tweeting about Michigan sports—and I'm hoping to make the occasional contribution around here, too.

The outpouring of support since I posted this video on Twitter last night has been nothing short of incredible. While I'm sad to be giving this up, I'm excited for the next chapter in my life, which I plan to involve improved health and a greater presence as a patient advocate. I can't thank you all enough for following along with my journey, and I hope you'll continue to do so.

Comments

T. Biakabazooka

October 9th, 2018 at 12:02 PM ^

I'm sure it was not easy sharing your story; thank you for sharing and for your countless hours of work on this site. My thoughts and prayers are with you from across the pond today and into the future. Also, I'm so encouraged to see the GoFundMe increase by 2k in just the time it took to set up a donation.

Jeff09

October 9th, 2018 at 12:03 PM ^

Donated. Good luck with your recovery, brother. I have no way of understanding what you're going through but hopefully it helps even a little knowing there's a big Michigan community out there collectively rooting for you.

LickReach

October 9th, 2018 at 12:13 PM ^

Thank you for capturing a side of sports I did not know existed until I began visiting this site.  Hopefully you get some help when I share your gofundme page.  Health care costs suck.  

MGrether

October 9th, 2018 at 12:16 PM ^

Without getting too personal, is it a rent or ownership situation? If there was a big enough money cannon, could it paydown your mortage to the point you would need less overall income each month for basic survival/needs once the gofundme runs its course?

RockinLoud

October 9th, 2018 at 12:19 PM ^

This will probably get buried, but all the best to you Ace. From one Mgo-old-timer to another. 

Also, like some others, my wife went through a bout of CFS with extreme anxiety starting about 5 years ago. After much research, realizing there wasn't much out there in the mainstream, she found some less well known Dr who had success treating CFS using what might be unconventional  - yet very scientific based - strategies for healing. It took over 2 years, but today she can do light exercising and generally has enough energy to raise our two boys at home without feeling completely dead every night (to be fair there are definitely days where she's just done, but those are the exception). I would be more than happy to share the details of the program she did if you're interested. No guarantee it will help everyone, but it worked for her and I'm very thankful for that. My email tied to my mgoblog account is good.

Take care of yourself brother.

turtleboy

October 9th, 2018 at 6:46 PM ^

Totally understand, same with my mom. Had to sell my stuff and move in with her for around 2 years, there was nothing else to be done. She was fortunate she didn't have to quit working, but she'd walk from the car to the door and have to sit down and take a long break, she'd sleep during lunch, and still call in on Friday's. The physical difficulty sucked, but not as much as her getting down on herself and just staying there. Positivity was the best thing I could do for her, chores came second. 

In her specific case a change in medication, and surprisingly, a change in diet helped manage her symptoms better.

Wisconsin Wolverine

October 9th, 2018 at 12:29 PM ^

Let's just go ahead and crush this GoFundMe.  The less financial stress Ace has to deal with, the smoother and quicker his recovery will go.  This is our chance to take care of our man, so let's do it.

LAmichigan

October 9th, 2018 at 12:31 PM ^

Donating...... And call me political if you want (don't care!), but we all need everyone to be a lot less cruel, whether you are an individual, a legislator, in the Executive Branch, or a judge, when it comes to helping those who need it get access to the medical care they require without being drastically affected financially. We all have someone in our family or circle of friends who we need the World to be a lot nicer to.    

Caesar

October 9th, 2018 at 12:31 PM ^

Shoot, I totally misunderstood your video and thought you were moving into advocacy full-time. Glad to hear there's a possibility you'll be back. Best wishes with your recovery!

JC06Z33

October 9th, 2018 at 1:03 PM ^

This is a good idea Ace.  I'm not able to contribute due to my own family's medical bills at the moment, but I hope that you'll able to get back to some semblance of "normal" with dedicated time off and community support.  It won't (and hasn't) been the same around here without you.

PS - did a doctor tell you that 5'10"/130-135 is dangerous?  I'm 5'11" and have weighed between 130-140 since I was 15 (I'm 32 now).  I inherited my body type and insane metabolism from my mom's dad, and while I'm very thin, have never been told I look unhealthy or felt that way.  I've played team athletics my entire life and also practiced a martial art for several years after college at this weight... so hopefully you'll be ok there for a while!

Njia

October 9th, 2018 at 1:26 PM ^

Happy to help out, Ace. More than just our shared love of the University of Michigan, it's our common humanity that makes it easy.

FL_Steve

October 9th, 2018 at 1:31 PM ^

My emotions in gif form. Ace, I truly hope for the best for you, I envy your experiences through the blog as we all here are. Your posts have been a great pleasure. You will be missed!

me on the inside:

 

 

JTGoBlue

October 9th, 2018 at 1:50 PM ^

Donated. Ace, best wishes for you and get better. Looking forward to you coming back strong with your great writing, and hopefully you can continue to use that talent to spread awareness.

CompleteLunacy

October 9th, 2018 at 2:09 PM ^

Ace, you have been an integral part of this website, with writing on par with Brian’s best. Your voice had been missed on the MGoPodcasts this year. Thank you for everything you’ve done for this site and I wish you a full and speedy recovery. Get some rest...this MGoCommunity will do our best to support you I’m sure.

THE TEAM cubed

October 9th, 2018 at 2:20 PM ^

The first thing I ever read on this blog was something Ace wrote.  He’s helped make Michigan football more than a sports team that wears the same uniform.  He’s made it a community.  

pharker

October 9th, 2018 at 2:32 PM ^

Thanks for all of your good work, Ace, and for sharing our passions as fans. We'll wait for you to come back. In the meantime, love and peace to you and yours, my friend. 

ca_prophet

October 9th, 2018 at 2:39 PM ^

We will always have the articles.  Live, grow stronger, write another day.

I look forward to seeing your writing here again when you're back and healthy.