OT: What do I Tell My Kids???
Dear Fellow Michigan Fans,
After a slew of pretty depressing posts on here yesterday, I started to get a bit introspective and sad, and have now gone to a very dark place. Normally, I am pretty optimistic about life in general, or at least realistic-trending-towards-positive. Yet I cannot seem to shake the blues since yesterday.
You see, my kids are 11 and 14, born in 2006 and 2003, respectively. Neither has seen Michigan football win a national title, of course, and only the oldest was even alive when Michigan won its last Big Ten title. She was 1 year old. What with our below-average results this year and our extremely disappointing 2018 recruiting class, I am no longer sure I will be alive for another Michigan Big Ten title in football, let alone a playoff appearance or national title.
Now, in this dark place in which I have come to reside, I am starting to wonder if my kids will even be alive for it. Even assuming my kids can each live well into their 100s - what with our high level of income and advances in modern medicine (can anyone say Lasik???) - I cannot tell them with a straight face that between now and 2110 or so, Michigan will win anything of note in football. I just can't lie to them and promise them that.
So here is my question: Should I encourage them to stop following Michigan football, or Michigan sports in general? We live in Ann Arbor, so it will be hard. But I could, for instance, really start focusing on the Lions, Tigers and Pistons; they're all perennial winners who never let the fans down. Or soccer seems pretty fun to watch. Maybe we can get really into MLS and start driving from city to city to watch mediocre professionals in empty stadiums? Or maybe - and I am sorry to say this, I really am - we can start following another college with high educational and moral standards. I'm hearing good things about Baylor and Louisville lately, for instance.
Any advice here would be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely, your friend,
Fauxmo
November 1st, 2017 at 12:04 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 12:30 PM ^
I stopped reading when you claimed to optimistic.
November 1st, 2017 at 2:42 PM ^
The 2022 and 2023 recruiting classes are a diaster - we don't have any recruits so we may not even be able to field a team by 2025. So imagine how hard it will be to rebuild the team after missing a few seasons (just ask UAB).
So 2120 might be a realistic expectation for our next B1G champ.
November 1st, 2017 at 12:51 PM ^
more like Mom
November 1st, 2017 at 12:57 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 2:12 PM ^
Good advice.
November 1st, 2017 at 9:02 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 12:05 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 12:20 PM ^
for those of us who missed it?
November 1st, 2017 at 12:25 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 12:58 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 1:24 PM ^
Link? Or was it deleted by mods? I sadly missed that one.
November 1st, 2017 at 1:31 PM ^
It gone.
November 1st, 2017 at 1:33 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 12:48 PM ^
...it was a great post. Funny thing is that this sounds just as serious as the Thrillist article in the earlier post.
November 1st, 2017 at 1:34 PM ^
I would tell your kids that College Football is like many other natural phenomonas. For example,tell them they can expect Michigan to beat OSU whenever Haley's Comet becomes visible again.
November 1st, 2017 at 6:53 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 12:05 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 12:07 PM ^
+1, Insightful
November 1st, 2017 at 12:14 PM ^
I keep trying, but the little fuckers are way smarter than they look and keep finding their way back home. If I drop them in Flint, race home and pack really fast, I might be able to move before they find their way home...
November 1st, 2017 at 12:17 PM ^
Kick them out and then move without telling them where you're going.
November 1st, 2017 at 12:59 PM ^
I think there is an appropriate Cheech and Chong bit about the parents being "sick-up and fed" so they moved when the kids are gone. Maybe try that.
November 1st, 2017 at 12:18 PM ^
why parents send their kids to sleepaway camp? gives them enough time to move out by the time camp is over
November 1st, 2017 at 1:31 PM ^
Why not give them a paper boat and tell them to play in a rain storm.
November 1st, 2017 at 2:23 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 12:06 PM ^
I hope I missed something.
November 1st, 2017 at 12:06 PM ^
Tell them that you're not their real father and you don't really love them.
November 1st, 2017 at 12:27 PM ^
Each night before bed I say: "Goodnight sweetie. Sleep tight! I'm not your real father. I killed your real dad, and someday I'll kill you too! LOVE YOU!"
November 1st, 2017 at 3:32 PM ^
GIF!! Thank You!
November 1st, 2017 at 12:49 PM ^
haha, pure gold Jerry, pure gold.
November 1st, 2017 at 12:06 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 12:12 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 12:12 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 12:36 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 12:46 PM ^
You sound like a Lions fan...
November 1st, 2017 at 12:07 PM ^
would be about that Delta flight
November 1st, 2017 at 12:07 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 12:07 PM ^
about maizen, jfc
November 1st, 2017 at 1:01 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 1:48 PM ^
Weird, I thought his eyes were closed to begin with.
November 1st, 2017 at 5:53 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 12:07 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 12:08 PM ^
November 1st, 2017 at 12:44 PM ^
Look, kids, it's a dick with ears and glasses.
November 1st, 2017 at 12:08 PM ^
Two words for you: Browns Football! Feel the excitement!
November 1st, 2017 at 12:08 PM ^
Which kid is better? Wouldn't hurt to sacrifice the other one.
November 1st, 2017 at 12:18 PM ^
I shall select the one most likely to multiply and project my genetic material into the future. The other shall die...