OT - Calling MgoDads!
My wife is scheduled to be induced on Tuesday at Genesys Hospital in Grand Blanc. It is our first child (a girl) and we are both super excited and super freaked out. Honestly, even being in the delivery room is freaking me out as I'm a bit of a wuss with the blood and guts..
To all of you fathers out there - give me your best advice / tips for a first time father.
March 29th, 2017 at 10:08 PM ^
Pick a method for sleeping. I know too many people who have learned the hard way.
I have 2 girls. I have never been the same since the first born. In a good way. I can never love anything as much as I love them..
March 29th, 2017 at 11:45 PM ^
types of botlles? Car seats?
March 30th, 2017 at 12:07 AM ^
Agreed. Emphasis on waiting until after "4th trimester." We began around 6 months.
As an above poster said: relax, you'll figure it out. Give your all, but realize you will make mistakes along the way. Don't beat yourself up about it and try to enjoy the ride. As unbelievable as it may sound now, it really does go fast.
Well, as my father still likes to tell people (as he told me and my sister as we embarked on this parent thing) - "Parenthood is the best job you're never prepared for".
That's actually true. I guess if there is an initial bit of advice to give, it's just to embrace your now expanded family and enjoy it. That, and get some sleep now if possible, because sleep might become precious and valuable for a while.
Card games work, too. We brought a PS2 to the birth of our second child and used it extensively.
That first night at the hospital, which was actually probably like...9am? My little girl was born at like 2:45am. I was SOOOOO exhausted that when the doctors came to check on my wife I had a hallucination that Rhino-people were coming to take my baby and just cradled her and rocked back and forth in the chair. It took a solid 5-10 minutes or so to realize what was actually going on.
Good times!
March 29th, 2017 at 10:21 PM ^
I love these kinds of stories, mostly because we all have and survive them. I have a friend who walked into the bathroom at 2 AM one night to get the baby's bottle and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He looked so exhausted that he didn't recognize himself at first, and then started crying because he was so exhausted.
Father of four, also worked three years admitting for L&D, so I have a lot of background here.
First: Congratulations! Fatherhood is the great adventure.
Second: If it's a night induction, try to rest. You'll be excited, but the action doesn't happen until later. You and your wife will both be exhausted. Also, if you're not into gory stuff now, don't even play with it. You will be better served near your wife's head anyway, holding hands and such, so it's not that hard to avoid. Given how tiring the day is, even guys who don't mind (I watched a good portion of the C-Section for baby #2) can have a tough time because they are so depleted. Just meet her needs and don't get pushy.
Also, L&D nurses tend to be terrific, and if there's something you don't know they'll help walk you through it, so don't worry about stuff.
Third: I can't emphasize this too much--if you have family, in-laws, etc around for the first couple of days, do your best to avoid changing diapers until the meconium has run its course. You still ought to get good at changes and help with it frequently, but the first two days are the worst you will see for an entire year.
Last: Commit your life to the welfare of your family... but then don't sweat it if someone else does something slightly differently. Formula or breastfeeding, sleeping arrangements, schedules, all that stuff--you two pick what is right and then hold to it, don't worry about the opinions of other people. It's your family, not anyone else's.
Good luck!
March 29th, 2017 at 10:09 PM ^
March 29th, 2017 at 10:16 PM ^
First baby stayed in my room. Second baby stayed in the nursery. I felt a little guilty but I did get more sleep, and the second kid is fine!
March 29th, 2017 at 10:55 PM ^
I totally agree with the advice in this thread to make use of the nursery to get some rest.
The problem is that I am aware of some mother/baby units that are moving away from standard nurseries and encouraging the babies to stay in the room full time much more. Not that it's bad, just that it's harder to rest.
March 29th, 2017 at 10:00 PM ^
Congratulations on the birth of your daughter. The advice that I haven't seen posted yet is this: Your wife will be fairly irrational from about the time of birth until about the third of fourth day after. Realize that and comfort her and try to understand that. I have a few stories about that with my wife's last birth and we joke about it now, although at the time it really sucked. Good luck and go blue. Also, make sure to get some maize and blue in the first picture.
March 29th, 2017 at 10:02 PM ^
March 29th, 2017 at 10:03 PM ^
Get your wife a push present.......something special for her and the baby.
You won't regret it.
March 29th, 2017 at 10:08 PM ^
March 29th, 2017 at 10:15 PM ^
March 29th, 2017 at 10:12 PM ^
March 29th, 2017 at 10:13 PM ^
This from an MGoMom: After a woman gives birth, her hormones go bonkers. In my case, I could actually feel it happen, and it only lasted a day or two. But for some, it lasts longer. Just roll with it and know it will eventually go away. You will be tired because the baby won't sleep, and it will be like nothing you've experienced before. This will go on for a while, and it's totally normal. All parents get through this. Hopefully you'll luck out and get one of those babies who's a good sleeper. Try to give your wife some time to herself if she wants it. If she's nursing, it's a 24/7 job. Above all else, relax and enjoy yourself as much as possible.
March 29th, 2017 at 10:13 PM ^
March 29th, 2017 at 10:22 PM ^
I'm only in the start of year 2.
I was really worried about the blood and thought seeing the baby come out was going to get me squeamish. Thought I was going to just be by my wife's head holding her hand and encouraging her....
....but nope lots of nurses busy at the time she was pushing so I had to hold a leg and saw everything. The blood I saw was all coagulated so really wasn't too bad. Saw top of my daughter's hair and then suddenly she pops out covered in cream cheese!
The placenta looks like a meat brain so prepare for that. I actually thought the cord was one of the grosser things looking like a much larger tentacle and an uglier color than I was expecting.
We had a baby with colic so we had the joy of jumping around the house to put her screaming self to sleep (good exercise). One of the best things I think we did early and often was had her at events with noise and people, which means when baby is napping you can actually accomplish stuff or watch TV or whatever. She's a super social toddler and is not reliant on just being with me and my wife.
Don't be afraid to be ridiculous with your daughter. I sing to her with my terrible voice, wrestle her, give silly voices to her toys, make funny faces and sounds to her, and put her pants on my head.
Good luck! You'll be fine. And congratulations :)
March 29th, 2017 at 10:23 PM ^
Cut the cord.
Accept whatever you see. This goes for a lot of things.
Hold her up high.
Exactly!
Was actually a reference to "The Ghost and the Darkness" though.
March 29th, 2017 at 10:30 PM ^
March 29th, 2017 at 10:38 PM ^
you'll figure it out later.....Congratulations!
March 29th, 2017 at 10:52 PM ^
Be sure to ask the hospital for the operator's manual. You absolutely need to pick that up, or else . . .
JK.
Tip #1: Focus on her and then the baby, and you'll do fine.
Tip #2: Ignore the wusses who HOPE babies come from storks, don't worry about where you look, and remember Tip #1.
March 29th, 2017 at 10:40 PM ^
March 29th, 2017 at 10:43 PM ^
Relax, enjoy, go with the flow. Congrats.
March 29th, 2017 at 10:44 PM ^
Also let them take the baby to the nursery at night and don't feel bad. Use that time to get a break and recharge as the day drains you, also because it is the last good stretch of sleep you will get for a few years.
March 29th, 2017 at 10:55 PM ^
Two things: the smells are overwhelming and the kids look dead immediately after birth. Our first child had some concerns before birth, so I freaked out a bit when she came out al grey. It turns out, all babies are grey until normal blood flow initiates.
Last thing, catch the kid. I'm not good with blood and bodily fluids but I will value that experience the rest of my life.
March 29th, 2017 at 10:49 PM ^
We learn to be dads, it's ok to learn. Be real, be honest, and most importantly TAKE THE TIME TO STOP AND PRETEND THAT YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT THEYRE SAYING. All caps for that one because that's my hardest, and I often feel shittt when u realize he just wanted to tell me something important to him (wanted to connect with me) , and I was too busy with MGoBlog.
March 29th, 2017 at 10:54 PM ^
March 29th, 2017 at 10:54 PM ^
March 30th, 2017 at 12:55 AM ^
The biggest surprise to me when we had our first baby is how much of a non-event changing daipers is.
I got to the point where I could do it like a pit stop. It was all muscle memory.
Plus it's a time you have to bond with your baby. Play silly games when they are on the changing table, they love it.
I would easily trade feeding babies or washing them for changing diapers.
March 29th, 2017 at 10:55 PM ^
March 29th, 2017 at 10:56 PM ^
March 29th, 2017 at 10:57 PM ^
Don't worry about being the perfect dad, just be there. And of course, while you're there, introduce "GO BLUE!" as an answer for pretty much anything.
March 29th, 2017 at 11:35 PM ^
Don't let your ideas of being a father get in the way of being a dad and husband.
1. There are lots of ideas that you and your wife will have about parenting that will get blown up by your child. Book it. That's ok.
2. Get a pump and pump those sweater puppets. Excess milk will not be excess later. When you have a good quantity of spare milk you can feed the baby and let your wife sleep ALL NIGHT LONG. It's the best thing you can give her and she'll think you're the world's best dad. Spare milk gives you schedule and feeding flexibility as well.
3. In most cases, the baby is crying because she is hungry, wet, or in pain. Babies grow tremendously fast and are often in pain; gas, teething, muscle fatigue etc. Go through the checklist: Is she wet? Is she hungry? Is she in pain (typically gas or teething)? Is she sick? When you get to the end of your child's checklist, understand that sometimes there is nothing you can do to stop them from crying/screaming. No amount of love, singing, walking around, driving around, soothing music, toys, googly eyes, baby talk is going to stop them from going ape-shit occasionally.
March 29th, 2017 at 11:05 PM ^
March 29th, 2017 at 11:12 PM ^
1. If you'e not good with gore don't cut the umbilical cord it looks like something straight out of the Alien franchise.
2. It might be too late, but if it's not, cook a few big batches of food you like and freeze that. Seriously, fill your freezer to capctiy with meals that all you have to do is take them out of said freezer and unthaw. You will not feel like cooking once kiddo is back home, and you will be shocked how hungry your wife is.
3. No one is gonna talk much about this, but at 3 in the morning when you haven't slept much at all in the past 5 days and your kid is screaming and you've done everything you can. WALK AWAY. You're a Dad, but you're also a human being and everyone has a different tolerance level for how much they can take before they reach a point where they are overally frustrated. It's OK. You don't need to be superman, and more importantly you can't be superman because you're just some guy. Put her down in the basinet, and take 2 minutes to go get yourself together.
4. Have a male parent you can talk to. If you don't have a guy you're super tight with right now recruit one ASAP. There will be times when you're going to want to talk to someone who is in or has recently vacated your shoes.
5. A lot of these are survival tips kind of stuff, and I don't want to make this seem like your life is over or an abandon all hope kind of deal. Yeah there's some down side here, but the positives outweigh it all. Your child is going to constantly amaze you. You're going to reach a point one afternoon where you look at her and realize this little girl is the best thing that happened to you. It might not be that first week or month, but it'll happen. You're in for a long stange trip. Enjoy the ride.
March 29th, 2017 at 11:12 PM ^
Just suck it up and hang in there. The staff will help you. You get to baby sit her so she is never alone.
If you haven't done so already
-Sell cool car and buy mini van.
-Give up sleeping in.
-Get used to dirty diapers.
Just having a little fun. Congrats and again and get ready for a great ride Big Daddy!