Five Alternative Uses For Your Worthless Seat Pad

Submitted by Ace on July 31st, 2013 at 4:16 PM

It's still July, barely, which means stories like Michigan banning seat pads from the Big House — while season ticket holders, as if they haven't dropped enough dough, are provided the option to lease an official Wolverine Seat for $35 per season — still move the needle around these parts. Like many of you, I've owned an officially licensed U-M seat cushion, but not the AD-approved permanent rental, and used it at games for years. Those are now worthless, right?

Not so fast, says the M-Den. They're dual-purpose, you see...

A kneeling pad with a handle? This is innovation, not a blatant money-grab. American ingenuity at its finest. In that vein, we crowdsourced some ideas for alternative uses for these totally useful hunks of branded foam.

NON-AERODYNAMIC FRISBEE

Looking for something to toss around the Diag? Look no more! The handle provides an easy grip for throwing, and the soft foam interior ensures that nobody's hurt when your toss inevitably lands nowhere near your intended target.

EMERGENCY FLOATATION DEVICE

Why are these women so happy to be jumping out of a doomed plane? With their officially-licensed floatation devices, they know that as long as they survive the impact with that large, rapidly-approaching body of water, they'll be floating in style while waiting for the Coast Guard.

[HT: BiSB and @MikeSmuz]

OVERSIZED EARMUFFS

Dave Brandon himself was kind enough to model the latest in Michigan-branded winter fashion. Perfect for staying warm during November football games or going incognito when the fanbase finally turns against you in full, penniless force.

VERY STYLISH HAT

Lookin' good. But if you sit on it, they will shoot you.

MY VERY OWN MGOPANIC ROOM

Provides extra padding for the next time you're waiting out a commit watch/unwanted Buckeye visitor.

[HT: @Looukey]

Comments

True Blue Grit

July 31st, 2013 at 4:27 PM ^

throwing bonanza at the 1989 Rose Bowl.  They made the questionable decision to pass out free seat cushions to people with some sort of advertising message (may have been Sprite but I can't remember).  By later in the game, there were tons of them being winged around the stadium like big, square frisbees.  I saved mine, but finally got rid of it a few years ago when it got damaged somehow.  Those were the days.  Now it costs $35 per year. 

MichiganG

July 31st, 2013 at 6:41 PM ^

My wife was taking a video of that on her phone, and you can hear me saying "that's going to get knocked out of your hands" the instant before a flying cushion knocks it out of her hands and the phone hits the ground.  Which makes it even more memorable for me since I have a video of an "I told you so" moment.

dahblue

July 31st, 2013 at 4:45 PM ^

I thought they made the switch to seat cushion "leasing" a few years ago, no?  Maybe I'm wrong, but seems like an odd thing for non-seniors (as in non-senior citizens, rather than 4year students) to be upset about.  I only see the olds bringing seat cushions to games, but if I were a seat cushion fan, I'd probably like the idea of leasing one so that I didn't have to carry it around and it could just magically appear on game day once I got to my seat.  

Bigger fish to fry.  I'll save my (numerous) gripes for Jock Jamz and bumblebee uniforms.

dahblue

July 31st, 2013 at 5:09 PM ^

Ok, maybe it's not all olds, and I can see why you like the leased cushions.  I'm not pro or anti-cushion, I just think that complaints about cushions are better spent elsewhere.  Like I said, if I wanted a cushion, I'd much prefer to lease one and have it ready for my arrival.  I don't like to carry any more than I have to.  Lazy me.

a2bluefan

August 1st, 2013 at 2:02 PM ^

@UM2k1 -  totally agree. Leasing the seat cushions is primarily about space over comfort. And I even sit on an aisle. But I no longer have to sit with my left cheek off the end of the bench. Great to have that placeholder in place all the time. I mean, they're not even that comfortable. (Well, not until my fat ass squishes it down some anyway.)

wile_e8

July 31st, 2013 at 4:53 PM ^

In and of itself, the seat cushion thing isn't a big deal. But in the big picture, it's yet another example of the AD nickel and diming paying customers by making going to games slightly less convenient for a portion of the crowd unless they fork over even more money. If you buy into the concept of the ticket pricing/attendence bubble, this is yet another reason to just stay home and watch the game on your (cushioned) couch.

dahblue

July 31st, 2013 at 5:11 PM ^

"Slightly less convenient for some"...slightly more convenient for others.  If DB really wants to add some revenue, they'd pour a ton of in-stand vendors into the bowl.  There's a ton of vending money being lost by forcing people to get up for food/drink.  Less convenient and losing money.  But...maybe DB is being smart with this one...if folks have to get up for refreshments, maybe they miss some of the Jock Jamz and are, therefore, less bothered by it.

dahblue

July 31st, 2013 at 5:29 PM ^

Oh, it's a jack.  No doubt.  I just think that on the list of things to complain about, this doesn't even register.  No bottled water allowed in?  Little/no in-seat refreshment service?  Jock Jamz? Clown uniforms?  Etc.  There are a lot more people interested in bottled water (especially on hot days) than are intensely concerned about their seat cushions.

snarling wolverine

July 31st, 2013 at 6:12 PM ^

Most of them, I imagine, lease the cushions.  (If you're going to pay $1000+ for the right to sit in your place, are you going to draw the line at $35 for a more comfortable seat?)

Quite a few people have been doing so the last few years - if you come in early when the stadium's still mostly empty, you'll see how many there are.

 

snarling wolverine

July 31st, 2013 at 5:58 PM ^

That's a nice thought but no sports team is going to do that in this day and age, for the same reason that they don't allow fans to bring in their own food - they're not going to undercut their own profit margins.  

I'm actually surprised fans were even allowed to bring in cushions as late as last season - I had no idea.  It seems like most people made the switch when it was still volontary (probably for the same reason described above - it helps mark your territory).

UM2k1

July 31st, 2013 at 4:49 PM ^

I know the MDens in the stadium sold these in years past, and I wonder if that will continue. As you know, you can not bring them into the stadium, but much like bags, they may be sold in the stadium. Just have to buy a new one each game or lease one.

elm

July 31st, 2013 at 5:15 PM ^

Holy crap, that MDen screenshot is real!  I was totally expecting it to have been photoshopped like the rest of the pics.  (They were photoshopped, right?  Or are there really two people falling out of the sky with officially liscensed UM seat cushions?)

M-Go-Away

July 31st, 2013 at 5:50 PM ^

Guess I'm the only one who cares. I'm barely 40 and in decent shape, and I do spend a good deal of time standing during the game but I love my seat pad. It's official M-den, not the giant 1974 version the blue hairs carry.

In the cold games it keeps my butt warm; during the 7 minute version of the thirty second timeout it keeps my back from aching, in general it serves a purpose.

$35 won't break my bank but when I saw this I was pissed. I voluntarily fork out thousands of dollars to enjoy 7 or 8 football games per year and travel to 3 or 4 away games each year to support Michigan. I love it and it's part of what defines me. Instead of banning seat pads, make the game day better by banning selling tickets to Spartans, Buckeyes, and Cornhuskers but leave me and my ass cushion alone.

snarling wolverine

July 31st, 2013 at 11:30 PM ^

If paying $35 isn't an issue, you should do it.  The U-M seat pads are much thicker than the ones you can buy, and you don't have the hassle of carrying them around town.  Most importantly, they protect your seat's territory, since they can't slide around.  I've gotten much more "buttroom" since I started getting the seat cushion.

ThoseWhoStayUofM

July 31st, 2013 at 7:26 PM ^

I'm sorry, but I have yet to see the waterfall inside Michigan's locker room.  Have you seen it?  Oh yeah, that's right.  It's in Alabama's locker room isn't it?

Boohoo!  I'd rather stand the whole game anyway... but I sure am glad you shmucks will always be around to fund my school's athletic program... when you inevitably cave and actually buy a seat cushion rental.

Seriously... that even sounds ridiculous in my head.  "Dave Brandon took away our free seat cushions!  I'm entitled to my free seat cushion priveleges!"  wow...

uofmdds96

July 31st, 2013 at 7:27 PM ^

Pure money grab. No way is this a safety or convenience issue. Seat cushions are like the McDLT, it keeps the hot side hot, and the cold side cold, and vice versa.

markusr2007

July 31st, 2013 at 7:36 PM ^

My 75 year old father suffers from hemorroids and prostate issues, as many men do or soon will.  The seat cushions don't always help, but he won't attend a game without one.

I took him to UM at Nebraska last fall and several UM games in Ann Arbor.

He's is not a "down-in-front!"er, blue-hair either.  He stands as long as he can and is as hoarse as any one in the student section after the game. 

So....I guess I won't be attending another Michigan football games with him in the future, which really sucks.

 

terryfoster

August 1st, 2013 at 9:25 AM ^

If it's any consolation (or if you see this) you should be able to get an exemption from the AD if you send in a doctor's note (assuming you aren't a season ticket holder).  They'll send you a letter that you show when you go through the gate that will allow you to take in a seat cushion.  That's how I know someone takes in a seatback into Michigan Stadium.

Cope

July 31st, 2013 at 8:41 PM ^

This is hilarious. I laughed possibly harder than I ever have here at your rapidly approaching body of water floatation device comment. Good work.