Perspective
Like the rest of you I was devastated after the Penn State game. I was grumpy and grouchy and I grumbled and moped around a lot. When I went to bed Saturday night my wife mentioned to me that something didn't feel right. The baby hadn't moved much and she felt some weird pains, but she figured it was early labor signs. After all, she was full term and similar things had happened with her other pregnancies as well. If things didn't improve by morning we would have to go in.
She woke me up at 6 am Sunday and told me she hadn't felt the baby moving and she was in a lot of pain. We went as fast as we could into the hospital and the moment the nurse put the probe on, we knew. There was no sound of the baby squirming away from the probe, no faint thumping of a tiny heart. Doctors rushed in and put an ultrasound probe on her belly, and the whole medical team was silent. My wife finally yelled out, "Is there a heartbeat?" Nobody wanted to answer.
Our daughter was gone.
The doctors assured us that what happened was not preventable. There were no signs and she wasn't even considered at risk. Even if it had happened at the hospital they could not have saved her.
I know that it's depressing to see what is happening to our football team. I used to think that Michigan football was as important to me as anything, but I was wrong. We could lose the rest of our games this year and I won't care. At the end of the day, while we all love this sport and this team, it is still just a game. I'll be signing off for a while. I don't know what the future brings, or if I will ever be back. I only wanted to tell all of you because folks around here tend to notice when an active user goes MIA.
Go blue, and God bless you all.
EYB
October 25th, 2017 at 11:29 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:29 AM ^
We are expecting our 4th right now. I can only imagine the pain for the two of you. Not sure if you're religious, but said a prayer for you right now
October 25th, 2017 at 11:30 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:30 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:31 AM ^
For someone who has gone through something similar I completely understand. Know that you have an angel in heaven looking down on you. God bless.
October 25th, 2017 at 11:32 AM ^
The dreaded double post
October 25th, 2017 at 11:32 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:32 AM ^
I cant even imagine the pain. I wish we could do more than offer condolences.
October 25th, 2017 at 11:33 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:34 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:39 AM ^
I went through similar in 2005 with my son, though he was not near term, only 23 weeks. My (now ex-) wife complained of similar, and when we finally went to get it looked at, same results.
You have my deepest sympathies my friend. From one Angel father to another, if you read this, and need someone to talk to, let me know, and I'll happily exchange information. Grief is a monster.
God Bless your family.
October 25th, 2017 at 11:41 AM ^
I am so sorry for your loss. My wife and I went through something similar back in the Spring. I don't think I'll ever forget the tense and emotional moments as the techs were trying to find a heartbeat. Our son was only around 17 weeks at that point, so he fit within the palm of my hand after my wife delivered him. It really sucked.
I don't have much advice to give, as I pretty much dealt with things the best way I knew how. Journaling was helpful. I was also able to take time off work, which I think was helpful. Time is really the only thing that will take away the rawness of the emotions. I feel for you guys, man.
October 25th, 2017 at 11:43 AM ^
So sorry, man. A very good friend of mine just went through something similar, and it has been heartbreaking. I'm sending my thought to you and your wife.
October 25th, 2017 at 11:43 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:43 AM ^
I'm sorry for your loss, EYB. My thoughts are with you and your wife. Please give your wife my condolence. Stay strong man.
October 25th, 2017 at 11:45 AM ^
Hate that for you, man. Your family is in my thoughts
October 25th, 2017 at 11:45 AM ^
Ive read and enjoyed this blog for many years but sadly this is my very first post.
My wife and I lost our son (Peter) when she was 36 weeks pregnant. Baby wasnt moving, but we didnt think much of it. I still remember walking into the hospital laughing and joking - assuming everything would be fine (we made it 36 weeks afterall). An hour our so later, the doctor told us that there was no heartbeat and 12 hours later my wife gave birth to our stillborn son. That was 10 years ago and I admit I still think about him every day. Only thing I will say - be good to yourself and your wife and get all the support you think you need.
I'm new to posting here so I dont know how this works, but if you'd ever like to speak please reach out.
October 25th, 2017 at 11:46 AM ^
God Bless you and your wife.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Your daughter is in God's hands.
October 25th, 2017 at 11:47 AM ^
to you and your wife.
October 25th, 2017 at 11:47 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:47 AM ^
I'm just incredibly sorry that you and your family had to experience this. I hope time eases your pain and you and your family find comfort and peace.
October 25th, 2017 at 11:48 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:49 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:49 AM ^
Hang in there.
October 25th, 2017 at 11:49 AM ^
Eyb, that is absolutely horrible. You are a valuable contributor here and we'll miss you.
Please do your best to take care of yourself and your wife.
October 25th, 2017 at 11:50 AM ^
Tragic and heartbreaking.
October 25th, 2017 at 11:50 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:50 AM ^
Having a little girl myself, I cannot even imagine your pain. My deepest condolences. May God bless you and your wife.
October 25th, 2017 at 11:51 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:51 AM ^
Words can not explain how bad I feel for you and your family.
October 25th, 2017 at 11:52 AM ^
Godspeed...you'll soon be back to better days ahead.
October 25th, 2017 at 11:53 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:54 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:55 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:55 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:56 AM ^
Deepest condolences.
October 25th, 2017 at 11:57 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:58 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:58 AM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:59 AM ^
October 26th, 2017 at 11:29 PM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 11:59 AM ^
Prayers and peace to you.
October 25th, 2017 at 12:00 PM ^
Just terrible, terrible news. I ache for you and your family right now.
It's funny, getting all worked up about a loss here or there also works as a subtle reminder that things must not be too bad in my life. I've been through those periods where so many other things were so overwhelming that how Michigan did on the field barely registered. I never STAY there for that long, maybe a full season once, but I've been there.
Eventually, as those other things faded, my passion came back, even to the point where I still lose perspective from time to time... although that happens less now than it used to.
Your situation puts me back to those times, reminds me of those times when things were bad and my perspective had shifted to deemphasize the success of my sports rooting interests.
Thank you for bringining me back to earth for a bit.
It's just a goddamn game played by a bunch of kids, under a lot of strange rules that are often arbitrarily enforced. It's interesting and fun. It's a diversion. It isn't life.
Time for me to RELAX and count my blessings.
A part of my thoughts that used to be devoted to the football team has been carved out and replaced by thoughts of you and yours.
October 25th, 2017 at 12:01 PM ^
Unimaginable, Brutus, what you and your wife are going through. Sending wishes for as much peace and healing as is possible. You'll be greatly missed on the board and hopefully you'll be able to return one day.
October 25th, 2017 at 12:01 PM ^
There's an angel baby we never got to meet in my family as well. It is small comfort, but we know that she is watching over us. Maybe it's stupid, but maybe it's kind of like being a fan... cheering, and watching, and discussing, but always from afar, always separate. We call it the MGoBlog community for a reason... may all our condolences be with you, your wife, and all your family.
October 25th, 2017 at 12:01 PM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 12:02 PM ^
Damn, man. That really, really sucks. Sorry.
October 25th, 2017 at 12:04 PM ^
October 25th, 2017 at 12:05 PM ^
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your pain and reminding us of what is truly important and how fragile life is. You have my deepest sympathy and prayers.