Was this the Apex Sparty No! Weekend In Memory
Such a confluence of stories and circumstances. I'm no historian but this week/weekend of Lil Bro felt especially epic.
Here's my list and how it all gloriously came together to create the ultimate Sparty No! experience
1) Your $100mm coach jerked off to a sexual assault prevention advocate and university vendor (of all people) to shame your program. The ultimate lil' bro hire (backup the truck for 2 wins against UM despite a career .500 record) and all the Tuck "cummin" idiocy - and the coach actually fumbles the biggest bag in history for 1 ejaculation. Couldn't write a screenplay more absurd and less believable than how this played out for Sparty. This is the cloud hanging over the program all year.
2) "MIchIGan CheATs" - Gifted the "sign stealing" story the week of the rivalry game in East Lansing, MSU seemingly pushes the story further into the media - what could have been whispers, blew up into a national story - giving Sparty fans momentary joy, schadenfreude, excuses, and false equivalencies (Tunnel assault). They proceed to have the QB run to the sideline for signals and then get nuked 49-0, where the UM starters play just 2.5 quarters. Smart move pushing the unsubstantiated story Sparty...well played as now the donut can only be attributed to your incompetence.
3) BuT UrBan MEyer! - Another pathetic hopium situation of temporary respite for lil bro. As if Meyer would want to take over the Moo U job when Texas A&M and other non mid regional jobs would be available to him. All week the delusion was circling, hitting its climax (no pun intended) as game day approached. More hilarious, actually believing only MSU has Ishbia types and mega donors, but sure, other universities, like oil rich A&M (that isn't as mid) can't find the $ to pay the guy. All this, (thinking of hiring one of the biggest known cheaters and scumbags in CFB history) while trying to moralize and cry foul about the unsubstantiated allegations against UM.
4) Hitler! You should never do anything Hitler - almost always goes poorly. But to have that trivia question pop up and a giant Hitler image on your scoreboard and giant screen during a nationally televised broadcast? - Spartans Will! Moronic athletic dept. to not limit the trivia to just sports or look at the questions ahead of time. And below the Hitler image... An add reading "We Never drop the ball". Seriously, are we living in a Sparty No! simulation? Seriously, no joke....of all weeks and all things - rivalry week against UM and a giant Hitler on their jumbo tron.
5) Finally, the obvious, exposed in prime time on national TV as dirty with multiple cheap shot after claiming worry for their players safety after "HarBauGH CheaTS". Again, the entire nation gets to see what a trash program Sparty is, in their Super Bowl, as another MSU player gives the double bird to their home crowd as they get nuked 49-0.
Feel free to add, detract, discuss.....
October 22nd, 2023 at 3:53 PM ^
You hate to see it.gif
what I loved was through the 4th quarter seeing their stadium 80% empty with 90% of those remaining being Michigan fans.
one other thing is their university president throwing herself in the middle of the melee like she’s a low level employee, shaming Michigan, then watching their team get blasted.
October 22nd, 2023 at 4:54 PM ^
A little off-topic: There are some pretty sweet seats available in the Sparty student section. I'm not sure I ever realized this.
I was there last night. Around halftime I left the UM nosebleed section (upper deck, SW corner, aligned with the back of the endzone) and relocated to best part of the student section, which by that point was sparsely populated.
We're talking 35-yard-line seats several rows up with good sight lines and no one near us to block the view. That's where I watched the rest of the game.
October 22nd, 2023 at 10:21 PM ^
That must be you....
October 23rd, 2023 at 12:37 AM ^
The lower bowl at MSU is actually excellent.
October 22nd, 2023 at 4:02 PM ^
Like in a bear market, I don't think you really hit bottom until there is capitulation. There is still enough delusion in the fanbase to prevent that yet.
October 22nd, 2023 at 6:14 PM ^
Dead cat bounce.
October 22nd, 2023 at 6:49 PM ^
In E Lansing, the word on the street is SELL!! SELL!! SELL!!
The bears are running wild over there.
October 22nd, 2023 at 7:41 PM ^
Bears, Knights, even turtles. Everyone has run wild over Sparty.
October 22nd, 2023 at 4:03 PM ^
I got another, they played "In the Air Tonight" when we were up 42-0. They were indeed waiting for that moment, for all their lives...Oh Lord.
October 22nd, 2023 at 4:30 PM ^
https://streamable.com/e/bku8gr
For those of you who can't see it.
October 22nd, 2023 at 5:32 PM ^
Absolutely priceless.
October 22nd, 2023 at 5:15 PM ^
You could hear in the background on the NBC broadcast. I thought about the lyrics when I heard it and started laughing, and my wife just stared at me....
October 22nd, 2023 at 5:17 PM ^
“I can feel it coming in the air tonight…”
-Mel Tucker
October 22nd, 2023 at 5:43 PM ^
Tuck cumin' in the air tonight.
Hold on.
October 22nd, 2023 at 7:25 PM ^
Another funny DJ moment was near the end of the third quarter when they played "wake me up when it's all over." I feel ya, Sparty dude.
October 22nd, 2023 at 8:12 PM ^
I kept waiting for Mr. Brightside. Must have missed it.
October 22nd, 2023 at 7:48 PM ^
I can feel it cummin' in the air tonight....
October 22nd, 2023 at 11:02 PM ^
Glorious
What a shit presentation department or whatever you call game day in house media nowadays. Goes along with the rest of the crap. Doesnt Ishbia have $$500505050505050 to fix it?
October 23rd, 2023 at 12:38 AM ^
Do underestimate the fact some people at MSU do have a sense of humor
October 23rd, 2023 at 9:49 AM ^
perfection
October 23rd, 2023 at 11:25 AM ^
You know something else was funny was when it was either late in the 3rd or earl 4th they played "Wake me up" when its all over. I laughed my ass off because it was fitting for that game.
October 22nd, 2023 at 4:03 PM ^
I am looking forward to seeing the MSU player's double bird picture next to Marcus Hall when Brian comes out with his double bird takes for the week.
October 22nd, 2023 at 4:07 PM ^
Yeah, if someone got a clean picture (and not screen grab) of that one, it might have to get into the rotation in that section.
October 22nd, 2023 at 5:44 PM ^
When did that occur?
October 22nd, 2023 at 8:06 PM ^
I think it was after the pick 6. It's hard to remember though, the whole game was such thorough Sparty destruction that it's hard to remember which individual play led to the frustrated double bird
October 22nd, 2023 at 9:48 PM ^
Check 6:10 from parkinggod, was at end of 3rd.
October 22nd, 2023 at 6:39 PM ^
as is tradition
October 22nd, 2023 at 11:03 PM ^
Senior
Four year letterman
B*tch.
October 22nd, 2023 at 6:37 PM ^
October 22nd, 2023 at 7:01 PM ^
Since it was on his own sideline, I thought he was flipping off his own fans; maybe for booing him for a couple bone-headed plays? Flipping off Michigan fans, I expect. Flipping off your own fans, that's another story.
October 22nd, 2023 at 8:15 PM ^
It was mostly Michigan fans left at that point.
October 22nd, 2023 at 11:04 PM ^
What MSU fans??? lol
October 22nd, 2023 at 4:06 PM ^
On the game side of things, this is a perfect storm for them. I don’t remember any time where there weren’t at least a few Sparty starters who would have started for us. Many years, they had the best of the skill players in this game. Not even close this year. No gaping holes on that team (apart from QB), but also not one player even remotely close to being better than his counterpart at UM.
October 22nd, 2023 at 4:24 PM ^
The best I can maybe give them, is MAYBE one of their young corners could compete with Josh Wallace.
October 22nd, 2023 at 4:56 PM ^
Considering that we have a LB rotation of starting quality players, their LB Brule would make that rotation even if he wasn’t technically a starter. He was definitely the best player on the field for them last night.
October 22nd, 2023 at 5:28 PM ^
agreed, but at the same time I think he's about 6-1, 190
October 22nd, 2023 at 8:14 PM ^
Right behind Jimmy Rolder on the depth chart.
October 22nd, 2023 at 4:58 PM ^
Tucker did a number on that program. Yes, Dantonio stayed too long, but they had a foundation. Just make a regionally safe hire. Get Fleck. Bring back Narduzzi for a couple of years. Yeah, you are not competing for titles but you keep the foundation you have and put yourself in a position to contend once in a while.
I have no idea what compelled them to hire Tucker. His record was middling, his demeanor was terrible, he had no regional ties. What, Saban said “sure, I guess,” and that was enough?
Tucker nuked that program completely. They are Indiana. That’s is their college football relevance for the next decade.
It’s to the extent that I *almost* feel bad for them if they had not been so insufferable when the ball was bouncing their way.
October 22nd, 2023 at 5:24 PM ^
Fleck would be moving to another Minnesota with an instate juggernaut. This doesnt make any sense.
October 22nd, 2023 at 5:27 PM ^
I think he would have taken it. MSU was not Minnesota at the time.
October 22nd, 2023 at 8:17 PM ^
Thinking that Bert might be available after this year. Better yet, Tom Allen, who definitely will.
October 22nd, 2023 at 11:06 PM ^
But Ishbia is paying $80M a year for a coach per the RCMB.
October 22nd, 2023 at 6:45 PM ^
You are right about Tucker, colossal mistake. But any college program can pull itself together in just two years if they make the right choices. Nothing lasts for a decade unless the program wills it, by mistake, miscalculation, holding it's ground, or otherwise.
I am with you in believing MSU will continue to be deluded and make mistakes, and thus stay in poor shape for years. But if they make 3-4 right decisions back to back, they can be right back in it in two years.
October 22nd, 2023 at 7:44 PM ^
Considering all the programs being brought into the Big Ten are better than them and the big three in the East are already better I don't see any possible road that isn't hard for MSU regardless of the decisions they make.
October 22nd, 2023 at 7:23 PM ^
I have no idea what compelled them to hire Tucker. His record was middling, his demeanor was terrible, he had no regional ties. What, Saban said “sure, I guess,” and that was enough?
I think you're forgetting the details about what caused them to hire Tucker to begin with. Dantonio "retired" in February a month after most of the coaching carousel moves and options have already taken place. After taking an ill-fated swing at the NFL's Robert Saleh and a few other options, the Sparty search focused on Cincinnati's Luke Fickell who apparently agreed, before deciding he'd rather just wait for a real job to open up instead.
Only at that point were the Sparties forced to turn their attention to Mel, apparently no greater than their 3rd best likely option. And yes, like you mention, they consulted with Saban and Tressel both of whom had Mel on their staff at some point in the past 20 years. What a confluence of dumbassery.
October 22nd, 2023 at 8:16 PM ^
Didn't Fickell's wife express some concern about the culture at MSU?
If so, good eye, Mrs. Fickell.
October 22nd, 2023 at 11:07 PM ^
It's reported by the Cincy beat writer she put the kabosh on putting her daughters into that environment.
October 22nd, 2023 at 5:27 PM ^
I was actually mildly impressed with MSU: Aside from some dumb penalties (esp. at the end), they played pretty sound defense, didn't give up gaping runs, DBs didn't cause the announcer to say "WIIIIIIIIIIIDE Open!!!!"
JJ just made some increadible throws in tight windows - so tight I wondered if they were good ideas to throw them.
Offensively, MSUs RB was decent, OL opened some holes, TE and WR made some catches. Just over matched man to man, again.
Strikingly average and ultra-mediocre accross the board, which is not what you might expect, given the score. No abject holes IMO, but absolutely no NFL talent.