Perspective

Submitted by evenyoubrutus on October 25th, 2017 at 11:06 AM

Like the rest of you I was devastated after the Penn State game. I was grumpy and grouchy and I grumbled and moped around a lot. When I went to bed Saturday night my wife mentioned to me that something didn't feel right. The baby hadn't moved much and she felt some weird pains, but she figured it was early labor signs. After all, she was full term and similar things had happened with her other pregnancies as well. If things didn't improve by morning we would have to go in.

She woke me up at 6 am Sunday and told me she hadn't felt the baby moving and she was in a lot of pain. We went as fast as we could into the hospital and the moment the nurse put the probe on, we knew. There was no sound of the baby squirming away from the probe, no faint thumping of a tiny heart. Doctors rushed in and put an ultrasound probe on her belly, and the whole medical team was silent. My wife finally yelled out, "Is there a heartbeat?" Nobody wanted to answer.

Our daughter was gone.

The doctors assured us that what happened was not preventable. There were no signs and she wasn't even considered at risk. Even if it had happened at the hospital they could not have saved her.

I know that it's depressing to see what is happening to our football team. I used to think that Michigan football was as important to me as anything, but I was wrong. We could lose the rest of our games this year and I won't care. At the end of the day, while we all love this sport and this team, it is still just a game. I'll be signing off for a while. I don't know what the future brings, or if I will ever be back. I only wanted to tell all of you because folks around here tend to notice when an active user goes MIA.

Go blue, and God bless you all.

EYB

Comments

cadmus2166

October 25th, 2017 at 11:10 AM ^

Wow, so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you and your wife are going through right now. Take your time for your family and grieve however you see fit. Hopefully someday when the world seems brighter you'll feel like coming back. 

JT Ferret

October 25th, 2017 at 11:13 AM ^

Thank you for your very insightful message and sorry for your loss. Can't imagine the feelin and I hope you and your family can move on and enjoy the rest of the life in front of you. We will miss you and your awesome avatar. Come back soon!

Kevin13

October 25th, 2017 at 11:12 AM ^

and your right there a lot bigger things in life then football. A few years ago my mom passed and my sister in law lost her 10 month old child. I too stepped back and reflected on life and realized football is really just a game and it's not life and death. I'm to a point where I can sit and just watch a game for entertainment and not get too involved. I was hardly even moved at Saturday's game.

My daughter is going to be home for the weekend from college and look forward to seeing her and spending time with her. If I miss the UM game so be it, would rather have quality time with my family then sit in front of a tv.

JMac

October 25th, 2017 at 11:13 AM ^

I'm sorry for your loss.  It is a reminder that we all need to evaluate our priorities and get perspective on what's really important.

Everyone Murders

October 25th, 2017 at 11:14 AM ^

This is awful beyond words, and an act of generosity for you to share this with the board.  My condolences to you and your wife on this terrible loss.

And my gratitude to you for sharing this perspective. 

Inman

October 25th, 2017 at 11:14 AM ^

Your loss. Anything truly devastating to our lives really does put things in perspective. This sucks and I hope you can recover and find peace with what happened. God Bless you and your wife.

carolina blue

October 25th, 2017 at 11:17 AM ^

I hope your post also lets on to others about how common this is. I know this is not of comfort, and I am simply offering it as information: miscarriages are extremely common. When my wife was carrying our daughter i read that potentially as many as 1/3 of all pregnancies end in this way (though many go unknown even to the mother because they happen only a couple of weeks in and present only as a late but heavy period)

I hope that you are blessed with a healthy child in the future should you decide that is what you wish to do.

We'll be Champions

October 25th, 2017 at 11:19 AM ^

I've had a recently somewhat similar where while fainting I hit my head and lost a lot of blood and was in a coma for a couple of days. Really puts sports into the correct perspective for a person. Hope you recover to the fullest extent you can, and that God watches over you and your family during this very tough time. Go blue forever and always, and I wish I could help

SuperAaron34

October 25th, 2017 at 11:19 AM ^

Verry sorry for your loss.  WIll definitely be praying for you and your wife during this tough time...for peace and that you'd know you're supported and cared for.

LSAClassOf2000

October 25th, 2017 at 11:21 AM ^

Deepest condolences. I cannot even imagine what you and your family are going through at the moment, and you'll definitely be in my thoughts. 

*virtual hug* Best I can do over the Internet, man. Hopefully, in time, you'll come back - your contributions are always appreciated.

uncle leo

October 25th, 2017 at 11:23 AM ^

You are so right about how stuff like Penn State, or sports in general are so inconsequential to events like this. 

All I can do is say to keep your head up and keep fighting the good fight. You have a ton of people on here including myself that are thinking about you. 

 

Swayze Howell Sheen

October 25th, 2017 at 11:24 AM ^

I didn't expect to click on this and be in tears - and I'm so sorry for your loss.

My mother lost two before having me, and I know it stayed with her for a long time. I do hope the both of you are able to find some peace and solace (eventually) in your difficult time.

 

MidwestIsBest

October 25th, 2017 at 11:26 AM ^

for sharing this. You’re right—it does put things in perspective. That’s helpful. You helped. My heart hurts right now from reading what you and your wife experienced. There are no words that can take away—or even ease—that pain. I’m so sorry.

MH20

October 25th, 2017 at 11:26 AM ^

I am so very sorry for your loss, brutus.  Hang in there as best you can and know that this community is here for you whenever you need it.  

ChuckieWoodson

October 25th, 2017 at 11:28 AM ^

Well, there's not much that, I, some relatively random guy on a blog can say in situations like these but man.. I'm so sorry.  A friend of mine just lost her newborn son 3 hours after delivery and I saw the FB post with pictures of him and I cried at my desk at work, which was a tad embarrassing... but after you have kids of your own it certainly becomes more real.

You're right on perspective.  If bitching about U of M losing a few more games than they should is the worst thing that you have to complain about... you're doing just fine.

I would only petition you to come back at some point as I've enjoyed your contributions over the years.  Prayers to your and your family.