OT - How/When Did You Know Your Spouse was 'The One'?
Mates,
Lets try a more positive thread, hopefully something interesting too. I note that the MgoSpouses take some fairly regular heat on the blog. But at some point in the past you made the decision that he/she was 'The One', the wife or husband that you decided to plan the rest of your life with. So do tell, what character traits, common interests, anecdotal stories, adventures (G rated), moments in time, whatever it was that caused you to pop the question or say 'yes' to the question?
This could be answered by those with significant others and the engaged Mgobloggers too, if they care to share.
Hope you are enjoying your Saturday. I will note it is snowing here.
XM
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This post made me want Spots.
We met in Ann Arbor. Our second date we went to the Cottage Inn in Ann Arbor, and walked around campus. We both went to U of M, and all 3 of our sons have too.
Also in response to the OP, bitching about spouses is a time honored tradition even for the ladies, I would hope such stalwarts as Mabel, Wendy, and MgoBrewMom add to the fun.
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We met in grad school at UM. Within two weeks, we knew it was forever. Well, 29 years later, the love is strong.
Love is more than a feeling; it's a choice. With my wife I could tell early on that she was someone worth spending my life with (she tells me she knew from the first time we talked seriously. I think she was crazy, but she wound up being correct). Once I knew that she was "right" and that she felt that way about me, I chose. Happened within a couple of months. We got married 51 weeks after that first serious conversation.
And it's been awesome. Which is not to say perfect, because nothing is, but even the challenges have made things better.
No, I didn't use sports as much of a filter. Though we celebrated getting engaged by going to a Michigan Hockey game, so there's that.
For saying "love is a choice"--we treat it like a disease in this country. You catch it--"can't fight it" "I don't know what I'd do without her" "Bu Momma, I love him, there's nothing I can do"
Bullshit people try to FORCE the one. Square pegs, round holes (pun intended)--and that's why most kids in this country end up raising themselves. And then believeing the same bullshit their "parents" did and making the same mistakes.
Of course, not here. This is MgoBlog--the world of Perfect People.
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Probably an econ major. Used the old supply and demand trick.
You are a glutton for punishment reading this thread.
Protip: If you are unemployed, don't read the "Where to watch the game in Monaco" thread.
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When she accepted me for who I was. I was in between jobs, lived on the other side of the tracks with my mom, and drove a ragedy ass Oldsmobile 98. She on the other hand had a good job, a brand new car, her owned her own place, and of course fine as all get out.
Things escalated really quick, perhaps too quickly for her because she suggested that I go back home and we take a break. I was devestated. I had been dumped before, and I would dust myself off and keep it moving. I never missed someone so much in my life. That's when I knew she was the one. She must have had the same epiphany because a week later, she showed up to my mom's house out of the blue, but I was on my way to my new job. I was a bit cold and indifferent towards her because I felt like she ripped my damn heart out.
I got home later that evening, and my best friend calls me and says "Come get your woman. She's been over here crying her eyes out over you, and she's getting on my damn nerves!" I never moved so fast. It's been 14 years, and there have been a lot of ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I hate to use that sappy cliche, but she is my best friend.
There are some pretty sad people on this blog.
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Eventually she came to visit her friend and we met in person. It was amazing. She was and is my best friend. We spent a year flying back and forth before I moved out there. We have been together for 9 years, married for almost 7, and I couldn't imagine anyone else in my life. We have moved back to Michigan, have two kids, and are making a nice life for ourselves.
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My wife says that she knew I was the one right after we talked on the phone the first time. For me it was 2 months after meeting in person and I was walking out of the grocery store. I walked out and it was a beautiful and sunny day, as soon as I got outside it hit me that she was the one. Don't know what did it, but something clicked and I knew I couldn't ever let her go.
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Dumped
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That is a good policy, sound and well reasoned. However, one of these days you will find the right one and you'll pass that on down to your son without realizing it.
I thought everyone I knew of importance, relative to UM games that is, knew my policy of no damn phone calls when they are being televised, which now is every time they play. I am thinking this was about 25 years ago and my son and I were watching the game together as we always did on Saturdays when the phone rang and he answered it - believe he was about 11 and said, without so much as an hello, just like he had seen and heard Dad do before, "Now what in the hell gives you the right to even think about calling during the game. Ok, Aunt Rene, I'll let him know but don't expect a call before the game is over." Oh shit I thought. Actually it was well after the game was over. Probably took me about 6 beers before I had the courage to call her after I had fabricated some lie that he was acting on a trick I had made him a part of because I knew one of my friends was going to call. Never let her know that little peckerhead was just aping me. She had a few questions about if it were just a trick why I didn't call back, etc. Those you answer easily. I was planning to but then got really interested in game and just now remembered.......yada..........................
Lost me at G rated.
recap.
Fair point.
He thought it was cute that I scream, swear and get super stressed. He is the only person I can watch a game with to this day.
We both went to Michigan and he's a big fan but a more normal one. I knew he was a keeper when he found my craziness endearing.
Anyone who sees a girlfriend through the lense of "The One" is in no way equipped for a successful marriage. There is no such thing as "The One." It is childish, Idealistic, fairy tale stuff. You either get along in a productive and complementary way or you do not.
Please don't propose still believing in these ideas.
Your wife should be a great addition to your life, not be the focus or your greatest accomplishment. If she is, she will resent you for it. As you read through this thread there are plenty talking this way and you do not want to be them.
First have a mission. Then, find someone who wants to come along for the ride.
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For the record, my way has worked out pretty damn well
that there could/might've been others out there who could 'come along for the ride' and might have been a good spouse. but the question is for the marrieds, what was it that made you choose the 'One' who you actually exchanged vows with.
as to your comment about 'greatest accomplishment', i haven't seen that comment. many consider their spouse to be the 'greatest person' or the 'most wonderful', but i don't know that they think of them as a check-the-box, been there, done that type of deal. at least, not if they want to continue to be married.
...live only for yourself and find someone who doesn't mind catering to that with their life and you'll be happy. Not for me.
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when her family refused my ransom demands.