I, too, thought playing App State again was a horrible idea, but now I understand. Dave Brandon is a genius. Not just a knows-how-to-make-a-billion-dollars genius, but a figured-out-the-secret-of-the-universe genius. The problem with Michigan Football is that, when The Horror occurred, we lost our mojo (That’s mojo, not MoJo, the dorm). We were transported into an alternate reality where things like Toledo and UMass and Akron and the BWWbowl happen. The universe is trying hard to right itself, as evidenced by things like the Capital One Bowl (Urbz/Tebow), UTL, the Sugar Bowl and last year’s ohio game, but it can’t. The only way to reset the universe is to go back to the beginning. We have to beat App State. Only then can we get our mojo back.
How to get our mojo back
on a thursday.
It's 8:41 am here. What the balls is your point? Brandon is trying to get back onto the timeline where Michigan once was. Wrangle that shit, Brandon.
I always thought Dr. Evil had my mojo.
It's time to strike back, baby
With a game 4 win and Zetterberg on the ice, we'll have our mojo back.
I'm hearing that he is cleared to play limited minutes...
Not sure where you got your info, Zetterberg's back in the lineup tonight.
To me, MoJo can only mean Mosher-Jordan Hall. I love the Gothic look (architecture buffs, feel free to correct my Gothic interpretation). App St. can never take that away from us.
like a mofo.
Anyone who even brings The Horror up needs to join me in Bolivia
Holy pants! How did you do that?!?
Haha you've reached the point where people neg you on the spot! Consider yourself lucky!
During OT especially it seems like there are midly stupid posts, really stupid posts and monumentally stupid posts.
And then there are threads like this.
Yeah but it's still better than the "Hoke Contract Extension" thread below
Set the bar really low, and posts that are greater than monumentally dumb look ok. Its the same logic that gives us sad statements like losing to OSU is a way of "the universe trying to right itself." I think Michigan fans are at an all-time low. At least in the RR years we had hope. Right now, I don't think we have much hope.
I feel like it's been a long time since I opened a board post and didn't think to myself, "This stupid shit again?"
I'm having a bad day at work right now as it is. I come here and see board posts like this and BiSB's troll post on the front page and it's like "why did I even bother with today?"
everyone just chill out. The guy's account is less than two weeks old and he's offering a theory as to how we can fix the situation we're in. Don't stiffle his creativity. Guide him...nurture him... consult him. Oh, shit...what am I saying....
But doesn't pass the "smell test" as a true newbie. Quite possibly a banished former MGoBlogger under a new MGoUsername.
I'm very confused by the examples you gave of good vs. bad mojo.
Well...I like your theory over the alternative
Win football games
Specifically, stop letting MSU and OSU walk all over us
OSU has been far from walking all over us since Hoke arrived.
MSU is a different story.
Correct, MSU has not walked over us, they have merely stomped roughly over our downtrodden carcasses.
This may be the best logical explanation for the state of the program yet. I'm not saying it's aliens....
The Austin Powers story line that had to do with mojo involved time travel. MGoEngineers...get to work. We need to harness dilithium, STAT.
and thus it does.
a full-mantle force
why I eyes ya
indeed, that's all about that anyone.
but in fact nobody realizes
why is the surge the enemy, and couldn't we settle our differences with it over an anchovy pizza?
That is what reading this thread was like.
(...the hell did I just read?)
10 AM on a Thursday.
I... actually agree. I didn't think I would ever agree with anything like this. But I agree.
When this baby hits 88 mph, you're gonna see some serious shit.
Did they end up finding that Malaysian plane?
How to get our mojo back:
- Win football games
I agree with the OP, and that's why I'm so excited to go to the game vs App State. I see it as an exorcism of sorts.
I don;t understand that logic at all. If we win the game 100-0 we still lost the game, so to speak. No matter what happens we lost to this team in 2007 in a game that will never ever ever ever ever be forgotten no matter how hard we try. In fact I guaruntee you that at certain intervals in the game, the broadcast will say "At this point in the game seven years ago, the score was ..." Scheduling this game was almost obnoxious and is simply a way to generate interest in a season opener that normally would be a team like Western or Eastern Michigan. I honestly can't wait until this game is in the rearview mirror.
I thought losing to Toledo was bottom of the barrel personally. App State was a shocker, yes, and won't be forgotten by this generation. Losing to Kordell Stewart was pretty bummer too.
All this game is going to do is force us to see that damned blocked FG eighty thousand times in the lead up to the game.
This is a classic lose-lose. We have nothing to gain other than a mild uptick in exposure over just playing Eastern like we should.
Charles Woodson is the only serious mojo we've had in the last 20 years.
RoJo's mom had some mojo to her
Right towards the end of the sick period, you take a massive shit that feels upon standing back up like you just ejected the last of the disease out of your body.
Love that feeling.
you can get one that rates high on the Couric scale. Still trying to break the world record.
because of being on a flight. Now I realize, all this time I have been living an episode of LOST. Consider: The Dharma Initiative did originate in Ann Arbor....
I am not sure you are thinking fourth dimensionally. Someone would have to go back to change the outcome of the Horror. After Biff changes the timeline in Back to the Future II, the only way to reset the timeline was to go back and stop old Biff from giving young Biff the sports almanac which was what triggered the event in the first place. So basically we need someone to go back and fix the horror, that is the only way to reset the timeline.
Your wife is one lucky lady.
Yes, yes, your lack of pre-marital celibacy in general terms was what I was referring to. Not your claim to take advantage of chubby and insecure women in order to address your own insecurity. I'm just a member of the no-fun police jealous of how you were crushin' it with the ladies, brah.
Also: dime pieces? (Twice!) How fucking old are you? Are you an un-frozen caveman frat boy from 2001 or something?
And went to basketball. Need more mojo!
How do you get your mojo back?
Win some damn football games. Stop being OSU's bitch every year. Those would be a start.
on the road with Novak and company. To get our Mojo back, we need to go to OSU and beat them. That is the only way.
I can't remember the last time we won in c bus....... I think it was when Henson led the boys to victory.
Did you know there is a punk band called "Anal Cunt"?
What's their best song?
I understand and appreciate what you're trying to do with this post: lighten the mood on a very depressed board as of late.
I think some people are too pissed off to enjoy the levity though.
I have a semi-serious question that is related to the thread topic so here goes. IF we should somehow find a way to lose the Ap State game again would that spell doom for literally everybody on the coaching staff PLUS Brandon? Brandon scheduled the damn thing and should we somehow lose (i know...i know....not terribly possible) would it mean he goes out too? Cause I cant even begin to imagine what this place, much less the wider Michigan football universe, would be like if we were made the laughing stock of the nation a second time.
I dont think its as big of a deal for a major D1 program to lose to the likes of App State anymore. Thanks, in part, to us. But also thanks to VT and a few others. The problem I think you are getting at is that it will be seen as a trend for Michigan. Big programs will lose to middling teams every now and then. But I think we will be the first big program to do so twice (three times now?) in recent history. It will be an enormous huge blow for Michigan. This issue I see is that it will be so big that firing Brandon, Hoke, and the rest will likely not repair it. Yes, they would, and should, lose their jobs, but the sad thing is that the mental model will have been set in the national mind and therefore in the minds of recruits, and the program would not likely recover for many years.
I would think that Brandon would have to fire Hoke immediately and make Nuss or Mattison the interim. There is no way to overstate how absolutely and totally devastating a loss would be to the program. I would also assume that the 100,000 attendance streak would be broken the following week. It would literally be the Michigan football apocalypse.
I'm with you. The Horror happened, we can't ever erase that. I sure as hell don't want a losing record to App State. I want to beat them 100 times. We are Michigan, we shouldn't be scared to play them. Even if we aren't "ready" this year, we should never lose this game. Bring them on. I am very excited for the game, and I think the team will be too. Could be an especially motivated group in fall camp.
Did Vizzini tell you to go back to the beginning? Because if he did I buy it....otherwise Db is still the idiot I took him for. I need Vizzini to clear this up for me, until then...I WILL NOT BE MOVED!
I would start by going back to around 8:00 this morning and advising the poor OP not to even bother starting this thread because of how miserable this and every other Michigan fan board has become over the last 8 months (GBW, 247, MaizeNBrew, etc).
After that issue was solved, I'd travel back to the last time there was a really big lottery jackpot that didn't pay off, find out what the numbers were, go back in time to the day before that and play those numbers.
Once that happened and I became a filthy rich millionaire, I would immediately stop giving a shit about every awful doomsday scenario for Michigan football that people keep coming up with during the offseason. Instead I would buy a lifetime's supply of Cheetos just because i could. I would then stress over what to do with a lifetime's supply of Cheetos, and perhaps post the occasional OT rant on this site about my Cheetos problems.
It started with the game of the century in 2006. If we win that we may be like an LSU in contemporary football.
Although I'd say it's got more to do with Bo's death than any single game. Seems like the air has been out of the program ever since then and everybody's been grasping for something and coming up short.
Could you imagine what OSU would've been like had they lost that game and gone on the same downward spiral we've been on? Columbus would've burned to the ground several times over by now.
that was the start of the downfall for me as well. Its been a long 10 years since.
Our program was in deep doo-doo when LC retired, but many MI fans weren't even aware of this. I saw so damn many quotes of the type, "All RR had to do was remodel the bathroom instead of the entire house," and metaphors of that type to realize the majority of the fan base had no idea how far we had sunk. Hell, they forgot one of the best performances LC ever put on was in his last game when he went with something that would never happen at Michigan, "a spread offense." Had it not been for uncharacteristic Mike Hart fumbles the slaughter of Meyer would have been even greater. Yet they still expected us to play better than say we did against Appy St., and were incensed with a loss to Toledo, even though our starting game qb was a walk on that could throw the ball about twenty yards and we had one returning starter on the entire unit. Couple that with the fact, we were shy an entire recruiting class and had one half of a defense, numbering roughly 22-23 players when the norm is 44-45, and one gains a clearer picture of how deep the hole was. Yet fans were bitching about his recruits when his main focus was on getting numbers up where they belonged and then hoping for enough time to teach them the damn game. Did he have to be fired? The answer is yes because of where he was. Most other places the answer would have been no. Place him in a place where he can relax a bit, say like where he is now and you have a coach that knocked off three top 25 teams last season, his third, one of them among the top ten. Put him in a place similar to where Hoke is now, with people starting threads about his life expectancy as head coach, etc., and pretty soon you get a coach coaching as tight as the players are playing. They are so damn intent on getting everything perfect, they forget that simply doesn't happen and you would be neither playing at UM or coaching there if you hadn't had a measure of success by proving you know what to do between the white lines. ND fans know the feeling as do their lengthy coach of ex head coaches. I didn't like the hire when it happened, but when it did, it was our duty as fans to stand behind the man until he either retired or was let go. Too many people forget the 50s and 60s when we put 60,000 fans in the seats and only that many because it was the only game in town. Yet we rode out that twenty year period of mediocrity by not behaving as what Yost called "street urchins" and waited, just like every other program in the nation, including Alabama's and LSU's-coincidentally by the same-until the savior arrived. Hell for those of you that believe FSU, Miama, Fl, etc., are traditional powers, the majority of the people I watch the games with still refer to them as "Johnnys come lately." Hell, it wasn't until the decade you were born before they made a name for themselves and history didn't start the day you were born. ^In essence, I think the mojo might return to the team once it returns to the fans.
Not reading that...
Give it % 100 unless you're giving blood