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Unverified Voracity Clicks Yes Over And Over

  • View
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By Brian — January 31st, 2013 at 2:41 PM — 33 comments
Filed under:
  • 100% pure colombian awesome
  • al borges
  • basketball
  • illinois
  • jorge luis borges
  • kevin lohan
  • mascots
  • mascots that give me the willies
  • mitch mcgary
  • nik stauskas
  • northwestern
  • schedule strength
  • unverified voracity

Basketball highlights ho.

via mgovideo

Also:

I vote all of these. A student organization at Illinois is holding a contest to pick a new symbol for the Illini. Whichever one wins will be ignored by the athletic department and consigned to the dustbin of history, and this is a tragedy. A dozen of the entrants would instantly be the best mascot in the universe.

Do you choose Colonel Kernel?

illinilogo4_medium[1]

Or Rabid the Squirrel?

illinilogo5_medium[1]

Rabid the Squirrel is a possibility for the mascot, but the overall concept is to represent the squirrel, a hardy survivalist being, bravely bears the cold winters, bike and street traffic, and is incredibly quick and graceful. For proof, walk anywhere on campus.

Or The Corn Guy?

148746_412344012175271_641796618_n[1]

The tagline for Corn Guy could be: A corn could be a cute and enthusiastic corn,
who opens his arms and welcomes smart students all over the world. Or a corn could
be a fighting corn, who, in orange skin and blue armor, revealing his muscle, with
fierce look, shows his vigor and is ready for an exciting game. This, is the Corn Guy.
Thank you.

Or werewolves?

6349_405301186212887_236235154_n[1]

You want something fierce? You want something amazing? You got it all right here. Super strong, super vicious, super I-will-wreck-everything- you-love. Ain't no one wanna mess with this. What, you expecting something cute and fuzzy like a squirrel or a PIECE OF CORN? HELL NO.

A

WEREWOLF.

THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

It matters not. You cannot go wrong. I vote for them all.

530774_412345848841754_2079394528_n[1]

It is the state of Illinois with an Abe Lincoln hat with boxing gloves. Tough, Historic and blatantly Illinois. Hope you like it

I vote for them all.

K-State might be Michigan's best nonconference foe. NC State beat Duke and UNC, sure. Since they've lost to Wake Forest, Maryland, and Virginia. UVA is at least a bubble team; the other two aren't sniffing the tourney. Kansas State on the other hand just did this to Texas:

I got home, made some dinner, and kicked back to relax and watch the Texas game. It was not relaxing. I would have been better off waking up this morning, smashing a few glass bottles on my kitchen floor, opening a can of paint stripper, pouring it on the broken glass, rolling around in the mix of shards and methylene chloride, taking a shower, and calling it a day.

BM6[1]While Texas is real bad this year, Kenpom has them significantly above Wake Forest and the Wildcats beat the Longhorns raw—final was 83-57. They kept it close in their two league losses and are probably going to have 24, 25 wins by Selection Sunday.

I wish I had thought about this. The Hoover Street Rag introduces the Borges-O-Meter, which ranks Al on a Jorge Luis-based scale ranging from Tlön, Uqbar, Orbus Tertius to The Gospel According to Mark. As you can see, Al is currently hanging out at The Lottery Of Bablyon, level six. I would actually swap level six (dubbed "fortunate") with level 5 (On Exactitude in Science, categorized as "precise"). In all other ways this is wonderful.

Yeah, I suppose Cal or Stanford fans probably would have done this, but whatever, they didn't because of a historical quirk that directed Borges (Al Edition) to Michigan instead of their schools.

Viva this fanbase.

[update: now with link!]

Viva this team. Mitch McGary on starting:

Late Tuesday night, an undecided Beilein asked McGary, "What do you feel about tomorrow? I don't know what to do yet. You both practiced well."

McGary responded, "Coach, I've been coming off the bench for two years. I'm cool with coming off the bench."

I'm not sure there's anything we thought McGary would do when he was the #2 recruit in the country that he's not doing despite a massive nose-dive in expectations late.

This is appropriate. Hockey picked up a big, late-blooming defenseman currently plying his trade in the BCHL named Kevin Lohan. As Yost Built mentions, yes, that Lohan: he's a cousin of Lindsay, who may be the spirit totem for this year's outfit. It is possible the third jersey does not display a badly-drawn weasel but is in fact a representation of Linsday Lohan on a bender.

Right now Lohan is insurance against potential departures from Bennett, Trouba, and/or Merrill and may or may not come in next year.

Yost Built also mentions that Mike Spath is reporting that Michigan will use the scholarship money freed by Daniel Milne's departure to go hunting for a goalie, apparently overseas.

Etc.: The Northwestern view of last night. Also found here. First comment: "Trey Burke is good. Holy shit." Burke is about to pass Darius Morris on Michigan's all-time assist list and has Morris's season record for assists squarely in sight. Men's gymnast Syque Caesar sets an NCAA record on the parallel bars. Nieves profiled by the Daily. 7-on-7 leagues examined. Five key plays from NW.

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January 31st, 2013 at 3:01 PM | Link to... (Score:4 Normal)
MGoShoe
MGoShoe's picture
Joined: 04/23/2009
MGoPoints: 19230

...HSR's Borges-O-Meter explanation post.

LSA '89 - MBB Natl Champions, Big 10/Rose Bowl Champions | @MGoShoe

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January 31st, 2013 at 3:30 PM | Thank you (Score:2)
Hardware Sushi
Hardware Sushi's picture
Joined: 03/08/2010
MGoPoints: 3480

Thank you, I was about to request an explanation because I am apparently too much of a philistine to get Jorge Luis Borges jokes.

Intensity is a lot of guys that run fast.

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January 31st, 2013 at 3:49 PM | As illogical as it sounds, I (Score:5 Normal)
saveferris
saveferris's picture
Joined: 07/02/2009
MGoPoints: 3072

As illogical as it sounds, I feel like Brian has given us all homework this weekend to go brush up on our Jorge Luis Borges literature.  It's so hard to be a Michigan fan sometimes.

 

"...what do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?"

"Fix the cigarette lighter."

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January 31st, 2013 at 6:50 PM | For sure. (Score:1)
goblue_17
goblue_17's picture
Joined: 08/06/2008
MGoPoints: 1146

For sure.

 

 

 

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."   -Britney Spears

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January 31st, 2013 at 9:34 PM | I really didn't mind Tlon, to (Score:1)
kevin holt
kevin holt's picture
Joined: 03/16/2010
MGoPoints: 2807

I really didn't mind Tlon, to be honest. I don't think it should be the bottom.

Then again, it's all pretty damn good so I guess even the worst must be good right? Anyone who knows spanish should read that stuff. Or at least Wikipedia it.

Mike Martin told me he loves me. My life is quite possibly complete.

Join the bone marrow donor registry today: www.dkmsamericas.org (do it.)

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February 1st, 2013 at 12:49 PM | Tlon, Uqbar, Orbus Tertius (Score:2)
schnoxl
schnoxl's picture
Joined: 09/19/2010
MGoPoints: 278

Tlon, Uqbar, Orbus Tertius (Level 10) is at the top of the scale. It's for "otherworldly" awesome moments such as your favorite moment from the fourth quarter of Notre Dame UTL.

Gospel According to Mark is at the bottom of the scale for complete and utter disasters. Example: @Nebraska after Denard went down.

The order of the stories in the Borges-O-Meter is not correlated with my opinion of their quality as stories, The Library of Babel is much better than Level 3 as a story, but that's where it fits in best on the B-O-M.

I sometimes write at the Hoover Street Rag.

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January 31st, 2013 at 3:03 PM | Was the "ho" in the (Score:2)
DefenseWins
DefenseWins's picture
Joined: 11/17/2011
MGoPoints: 274

Was the "ho" in the basketball highlights deliberate or a typo? I'm hoping for deliberate. I laughed.

Denied by UM multiple times, nonetheless lifelong M fan.

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January 31st, 2013 at 4:26 PM | I assumed it was deliberate, (Score:3 Normal)
jmblue
Joined: 11/07/2008
MGoPoints: 28961

I assumed it was deliberate, as in "Westward Ho!"  Is my mind not sufficiently in the gutter?

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January 31st, 2013 at 3:08 PM | Sorry (Score:1)
McTreadqueen Fo...
McTreadqueen For President's picture
Joined: 11/30/2012
MGoPoints: 194

Sorry accidently posted twice.

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January 31st, 2013 at 4:00 PM | NC State beat Duke and UNC, (Score:2 Normal)
McTreadqueen Fo...
McTreadqueen For President's picture
Joined: 11/30/2012
MGoPoints: 194

NC State beat Duke and UNC, sure. Since they've lost to Wake Forest, Maryland, and Virginia. UVA is at least a bubble team; the other two aren't sniffing the tourney.

I disagree, Maryland is 15-6 right now, they are definitely bubbling and are at the very least sniffing the tourney.

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January 31st, 2013 at 4:57 PM | Lorenzo Brown injured his ankle in 1st half vs. UVa (Score:2)
Leaders And Best
Leaders And Best's picture
Joined: 09/09/2009
MGoPoints: 1549

After Brown left the game, NC State tanked against UVa and probably was the reason they lost the game. NC State now either has to play Purvis out of position at the point or turn the the reins over to Hobbit Backup PG Tyler Lewis if Brown can't go against Miami this weekend. I am rooting for the latter situation just to see Brian's MCHOBBIT update in Opponent Watch next week after MCHOBBIT has to go head to head against Shane Larkin.

http://www.newsobserver.com/2013/01/31/2644626/brown-might-miss-games.html

The WF loss was bad, but I think they would have beaten UVa if Brown was healthy as they were up 5-10 pts when he went down. I don't know if you will be able to accurately assess how good NC State is until Brown comes back.

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January 31st, 2013 at 3:08 PM | Illinois competition (Score:5 Normal)
Needs
Joined: 08/05/2008
MGoPoints: 4159

Full credit should also go to Chef Illiniwick...

 

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January 31st, 2013 at 3:29 PM | HOW?! (Score:2)
Hardware Sushi
Hardware Sushi's picture
Joined: 03/08/2010
MGoPoints: 3480

How is this one not front page!?! My favorite, Angry Boxin' Illinois-shaped Abe second.

Intensity is a lot of guys that run fast.

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January 31st, 2013 at 3:11 PM | It's Jorge Luis Borges, not (Score:2)
Newk
Newk's picture
Joined: 09/10/2008
MGoPoints: 333

It's Jorge Luis Borges, not Jose.

c/o '02

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January 31st, 2013 at 3:38 PM | doh, fixed.  (Score:2)
Brian
Brian's picture
Joined: 05/26/2008
MGoPoints: 63001

doh, fixed. 

MGoBlog | email 

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January 31st, 2013 at 3:14 PM | Nik Stauskas: Poltergeist (Score:1)
biakabutoucan_sam
biakabutoucan_sam's picture
Joined: 02/02/2012
MGoPoints: 103

Nik Stauskas: Poltergeist

-- ..- .--. .--. . - ...

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January 31st, 2013 at 3:24 PM | Now David Brandon knows where to go for mascot designs (Score:2)
Don
Don's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 19184

Those enterprising Illinois students have corn-ered the market on creativity.


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January 31st, 2013 at 3:30 PM | I'm pretty sure everyone who (Score:2 Funny)
Lionsfan
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Joined: 06/03/2011
MGoPoints: 3892

I'm pretty sure everyone who saw those has said "Wow", so yeah, they should expect a call from Brandon

If you're doing nothing, how do you know when you're finished?

StraightDave owes me a steak dinner

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January 31st, 2013 at 3:25 PM | Winner! (Score:1)
Bronco648
Bronco648's picture
Joined: 08/20/2008
MGoPoints: 998

Rabid the Squirrel

Hands down winner for ALL Illini sports teams.

Nobody home...

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January 31st, 2013 at 3:31 PM | Did I Miss It? (Score:0 Offtopic)
MichSportsGuy
Joined: 06/29/2010
MGoPoints: 30

Did I miss MGoBlog's response to this article?

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January 31st, 2013 at 3:34 PM | Separated at Birth? (Score:4 Normal)
Everyone Murders
Everyone Murders's picture
Joined: 12/14/2010
MGoPoints: 546

 I think there's a bit of a separated at birth thing going on with the "Illinois Fighting Land of Lincolns" mascot and his sophisticated city counterpart.

 

 530774_412345848841754_2079394528_n[1]

  • "Of course I care about that stuff.  To the point of irrationality.  It will always be Michigan first, cancer second."  Jim Mandich (RIP)
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January 31st, 2013 at 6:17 PM | I picture him with the voice (Score:2 Normal)
Soulfire21
Soulfire21's picture
Joined: 03/18/2010
MGoPoints: 3130

I picture him with the voice of Mickey Mouse from the Jonas Brothers episode of south park.

It's potentially worth looking up.

HAIL.

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January 31st, 2013 at 3:39 PM | MichSportsGuy Yes you did. (Score:1)
McTreadqueen Fo...
McTreadqueen For President's picture
Joined: 11/30/2012
MGoPoints: 194

http://mgoblog.com/?page=1

It's in the Unverified Voracity Would Be Off The Chart post under Bullet of stats-enthusiasm-dissing hypocrisy incoming.

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January 31st, 2013 at 3:41 PM | Yup (Score:1)
MichSportsGuy
Joined: 06/29/2010
MGoPoints: 30

I did, appreciate it.

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January 31st, 2013 at 5:07 PM | I enjoyed the Sippin' on (Score:2)
El Jeffe
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Joined: 07/07/2008
MGoPoints: 6710

I enjoyed the Sippin' on Purple game column mostly because it contained a discussion of whether Sobocop's drop in FT% from last year to this year is statistically significant.

Wildcats, you had me at p-value.

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January 31st, 2013 at 6:52 PM | I love hearing how good other (Score:2 Normal)
goblue_17
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Joined: 08/06/2008
MGoPoints: 1146

I love hearing how good other teams think Michigan is, nice hearing it from a different perspective.

 

 

 

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."   -Britney Spears

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January 31st, 2013 at 6:14 PM | I'm partial to the Illini (Score:1)
Soulfire21
Soulfire21's picture
Joined: 03/18/2010
MGoPoints: 3130

I'm partial to the Illini Kraken(s).  I'm unsure if there would be one, or a flock of krakens.  What are a group of krakens called?  Flock sounds ... incorrect.

There was a really good Abraham Lincoln one, would be really interesting, but "Illinois Abes" doesn't really flow as good as Illini.

HAIL.

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January 31st, 2013 at 6:34 PM | Ace: we need an "I'm back" .gif (Score:1)
BlueKoolaid
BlueKoolaid's picture
Joined: 01/31/2013
MGoPoints: 5

Can we get one of your ever popular .gifs of Stauskas' "I'm back!" ??

LSA '04 Go Blue!

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January 31st, 2013 at 6:48 PM | He posted it on twitter a (Score:1)
goblue_17
goblue_17's picture
Joined: 08/06/2008
MGoPoints: 1146

He posted it on twitter a while ago.

 

 

 

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."   -Britney Spears

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January 31st, 2013 at 9:39 PM | Werewolverine (Score:1)
borninAnnArbor
borninAnnArbor's picture
Joined: 10/10/2012
MGoPoints: 166

I have always wondered what a werewolverine would look like. I bet it would literally eat a werewolf for breakfast.

Werewolverine 1 "what do you want for breakfast?"

Werewolverine 2 "We got any of that werewolf left over from last night?"

Ann Arbor by birth.  Wolverine by choice.

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February 1st, 2013 at 3:44 PM | You wonder? (Score:0 Offtopic)
M-Wolverine
M-Wolverine's picture
Joined: 10/04/2009
MGoPoints: 38747

On this site?

http://mgoblog.com/mgoboard/i-was-bored-so-i-made

 

"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk

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February 1st, 2013 at 12:03 PM | Things MGoBlog has multiple (Score:2)
Seth
Seth's picture
Joined: 10/14/2008
MGoPoints: 48268

Things MGoBlog has multiple articles tagged under:

  • Jorge Luis Borges
  • Europa Universalis

Viva this fanbase!

(Blogger alias: "Misopogon") This team is under construction. We thank you for your patience.

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