Alaska Fairbanks Demon Bear Is Back
Um, so Little Bro posted it in the Alaska preview comments. It has fewer than a thousand views on the Youtube so it must be under the radar still. This lack of aggression will not stand.
So… yeah… the bear video came into our lives and was fantastic. There is another. I know what you're thinking: this can only be a disappointment. That's what I thought. I was so very wrong.
Here's a youtube comment:
Is this plot line taken from Scientology scripture?
Now you watch.
Wasn't this the plot of Battlestar Galactica, except awesome?
holy crap. the video lives no more. needed another fix and youtube tells me the vid was removed by the user....
what gives?
that was the template to the promised land man! damn.
This video is 1000% pure Colombian awesome.
I think this was the first one we found. Still awesome though.
This team is under construction. We thank you for your patience.
I happen to disagree with Oops Pow, Kenny Loggins is always awesome.
* A Russian icebreaker commanded by Stereotypical Evil Russian KGB guy from every Clancy novel ever is on a mission to find the powers of the mythical(??) NUCLEAR SPACE BEAR.
* THE BEAR IS AWAKENED
* GROWLS AND LIGHTNING SHOOTS FROM HIS EYES
* EMERGES FROM ICE AND DESTROYS ICEBREAKER WITH RADIOACTIVE GLOWY HOCKEY STICK
* PUTS ON SUNGLASSES!!!!!!
* FLIES GIANT F-16
* DESTROYS MICHIGAN STATE, OHIO STATE (YES!!!!!!!!!!), AND NOTRE DAME WITH MISSILES. THIS BEAR IS THE GREATEST THING SINCE THE IRISH CREATED BEER.
* MAKES KENNY LOGGINS MUSIC AWESOME
* DROPS BOMB IN VOLCANO FOR SOME REASON
* BLOWS UP THE EARTH
* FLIES INTO SPACE
* TIME TRAVEL? I've lost track at this point
Power corrupts, PowerPoint corrupts absolutely.
The sunglasses while flynig a jet fighter (who needs a helmet?) is waaaay cool and seemingly under-appreciated by the board. It is the best part of the video, except for the MSU-ND-OSU destruction sequence.
One question I have - What happened to the Bear's two wingmen, err, wingbears? There were three of them flying and only one emerged from the earth's destruction. What happened to the others? Were they killed in the explosion(s) thus adding to our hero's righteous rage? Have they gone to other parts of the universe to spread the great Polar Bear Empire? I WANT A SEQUEL!!!
"Integrity can only get you so far." - My little brother, the State grad.
A polar bear, F-16s, and Metallica. I would need a cigarette after that.
The polar bear could have just etched a digital map to the All Spark on the vessel and went about his business.
So after the 64th time watching this video I notice something:
This video is an action packed tour de force of testosterone-laced, ursine awesomeness (obviously) . . . but only for the first two minutes.
From about the 2:00 mark all the way to the end (at 3:05) it's just the rotating A, the blue flames, and Metallica (punctuated by random bear growls).
So what is supposed to be going on during that last 1:05?
The music is blaring, the arena is rocking, crowd must be pumped beyond belief!
So what is going on? What are people doing?
.
Masturbating, thats what.
This post made with 99% organic Snark®.
I think 1:05 is how long it would take to announce UAF's minor penalties for the previous game.
Laissez les bons temps rouler!
as it turns out nanook awoke from an icy slumber to a 6-0 smackdown. imagine the humility. imagine the rage.
It's not a tanker or a freighter, it's a cruise ship. Thousands of innocent tourists from the lower 48 were massacred in that light saber hockey stick attack.
Not many hockey teams can claim to rock Laura Branigan! In the day . . nothing matters; it's the night time that matters . . .
How has no one else linked this yet?
This is the greatest thing ever conceived by man. Fire? The Wheel? Relativity? No. Space Polar Bear FTW.
PS: the awakening of the bear by the tanker probably traces back to the original 1951 Godzilla movie.
Harvard: The MICHIGAN of the East
We're not arrogant, we're just better.
that vaporizes the evil triumvirate, this is very good.
The bear is sending us a signal, as in the Hunt for Red October. He is on our side now but we must guide him in. Brian! Send him one ping only. And then all our games with the bear must end in 0-0 ties. God save the bear (and Ann Arbor!).
throw jodie foster and a blind guy in there and you've got a sequel to contact
Anyone else wondering what the 2010-11 Alaska Fairbanks season will bring? Destruction of the whole solar system? Creation of a black hole that swallows the entire universe? Man, I simultaneously can't wait to find out / dread the future like a motherfucker.
Got a quarter?
Was that light speed in space, or time travel?
This has been linked at NationalReview.com by Jonah Goldberg, so expect a horde of nerd and/or conservative posters registering today...
Bully for Michigan and all that
Polar Bear to be called a communist in 5....4....3...2..
This team is under construction. We thank you for your patience.
I am weeping tears of joy. This is just marvelous. Polar bear as fighter pilot? Yes. Polar bear flying through space? Yes. Polar bear blowing up volcano? Yes. Polar bear destroying some sort of freighter that disturbed its peaceful ice-encased hibernation? Yes. 80's music? Yes. Lasers? Yes.
I realize that the "polar bear" is actually a "nanook." However, it is sweeter to think of a plain old polar bear doing these various and sundry activities of awesome meatiness.
And not just any old 80's music, but "Self Control" by Laura Branigan! Does life get any sweeter than this?
iTunes pays Mike Barwis 99 cents every time he downloads a song.
I can only imagine the frenzy the crowd gets worked up to when this gets played on the Jumbotron at their home games.
By blowing up the "Axis of Evil" of ND, OSU and MSU, Alaska Fairbanks has demonstrated that they have their priorities straight, and are on the side of the just.
Bigger question I have is: what the heck did those three schools do to piss them off?
Bigger question I have is: what the heck did those three schools do to piss them off?
Exist.
Man understands college athletics, he does.
Sooner or later, you're going to have to stick your arm up a cow's butt.
This is an imminent terrorist threat. The Nanooks should be immediately imprisoned without bail and forced to forfeit their games while we attempt to stop that bear from destroying the world.
Hail
Did anyone else just hear Apollo shouting "STARBUCK!!!!!" in their heads as he flew into the wormhole and his ship blew? More like Battlestar than I'd care to admit.
"If this winter keeps up the blog's gonna have more kittens than icanhascheezburger" -CalJr3000
Somebody should let Stephen Colbert know that he was right about bears all along.
This is what happens when you give Canadians nuclear weapons.
This team is under construction. We thank you for your patience.
...when one is under the constant pressure and stress of being able to see Russia from their homes.
"Don't touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn't understand alloys and compositions and things with... molecular structures"
We need to either bow down to, or kill all polar bears right now. They are definitely some violent mother f-ers. I think we now understand what led to the Exxon Valdez...some freaking bear chopped it in half in a fit of underwater rage.
They can create hockey sticks from pure energy, fly jets, and BLOW UP THE EARTH.
I, for one, welcome our new polar bear overlords.
The Carlson center wasn't destroyed with the rest of the Earth, you can see at the end it's now in orbit, spared from the volcano attack with the space bear's careful planning.
You see the ship in the ice, and you're like, "Oh cool, ancient awakened frozen lightsaber space bear is going to use his lightsaber hockey stick to save the ship!" Then he cuts it in half, and goes on to destroy the world in an F16. I gotta admit -- I didn't see that coming.
This team is under construction. We thank you for your patience.
Wooooah.. what's amazing and I don't think anyone has mentioned..
THE BEARS BLEW UP SPARTY, OSU, AND NOTRE DAME!!!!!
Those polar bears are Michigan alumni as far as I'm concerned...
This is what happens when you outsource your school's promotional vid production to Japan.
Got a quarter?
is that Anchorage is indeed the meth capital of America.
I want that on a t-shirt.
Beastie Boys album.
"So I come out of Ohio Stadium after we beat the Buckeyes, and right there on the hood of my friend's car, some one took a dump, in the shape of an 'O'. no shit. Oh, sorry, bad pun."
So the original video was from the 2007-2008 season, and this is for the 2009-2010 season, so it begs the question:
Where is the 2008-2009 video?
This may institute the biggest worldwide search for a mythical object since Raiders of the Lost Ark.
"So I come out of Ohio Stadium after we beat the Buckeyes, and right there on the hood of my friend's car, some one took a dump, in the shape of an 'O'. no shit. Oh, sorry, bad pun."
The original video was from 06-07. According to the description, they just substituted the away team's mascot for every game in the video.
Not quite as spectacular as the Space Bear, but this is still rather amusing, and I have to admit, I enjoyed the Batman symbol reconfigured.
http://midnightmaize.blogspot.com/
I just love how the bear bitch slaps the red hawk to the ground. I want to see the video of when they play Michigan. What does the bear do? Kick a wolverine?
That video just wouldn't been the same without random jean jacket guy raising his fist in triumph as the bear prepares to break through the roof of the arena.
iTunes pays Mike Barwis 99 cents every time he downloads a song.
Random jean jacket guy is more critical than google maps!
Sooner or later, you're going to have to stick your arm up a cow's butt.
That belching noise the bear makes as it is waking up from hibernation might be the funniest sound ever, and the animation is hilariously bad. The people in the hockey program there seem to have a great sense of humor, unless it is actually taking itself too seriously.
Ann Arbor is a classy broad.
"Get off my plane!" - Ricky Stanzi, Air Force One 2
and I am now awed beyond all rational thought.
It's kind of like the video from "The Ring"... you watch it and next thing you know mountain sized animated polar bears are coming out of your television to vaporize you with lightsaber hockey sticks.
And then the next person watches it.
"So I come out of Ohio Stadium after we beat the Buckeyes, and right there on the hood of my friend's car, some one took a dump, in the shape of an 'O'. no shit. Oh, sorry, bad pun."
kudos to their geeks
Not one, but two ridonkulous videos about a bear with a proclivity towards blowing s--t up with a hockey stick? Someone in Hollywood's digital effects sector is bored.
The Wolverine Liberation Army- saving Michigan fans one dick joke at a time.
If you are insinuating that making a video of a polar bear going on a destructive intergalactic rampage is somehow a waste of one's time, I couldn't disagree more.