Job Posting: Press Conference Person
As you may know, Heiko is leaving MGoBlog to go be a research doctor. This means we are in need of a person to fill his role. That is this:
- Attend football press conferences, both midweek and after games.
- Transcribe them.
- Ask questions as directed from on high.
- Dress nicely and be professional.
It is a part-time gig with an expected commitment of 10-15 hours a week during football season and spring practice. Given the nature of the job, you have to be located in Ann Arbor or environs and able to show up for press conferences that are usually mid-day on weekdays.
UPDATE: I have been dissuaded from using the lack of instructions as an intelligence test. Email resumes to [email protected]. Make 'em heavy on stuff you're doing for no reason other than you want to.
Job FAQ
Can I write for other places?
Yes.
Can I write articles for MGoBlog that actually contain, like, my own writing?
Possibly. Heiko wanted to and was good at it, so we expanded his position to encompass that. But he is an excellent, funny writer. You would have to be at least one of the two. It is a head start towards approaching the front page, but this role is distinct from the engaging writing that we like to have on the front page.
Should I acquire a weird, almost father-son relationship with one of the coordinators?
Do not come into this job trying to be Heiko. His relationship with Al Borges was amazing, miraculous, and idiosyncratic. We want you to be inquisitive about football in a way that will probably draw cocked eyebrows the first time you ask about something seemingly better suited for a coaching clinic than a press conference. HOWEVA, my biggest fear about replacing Heiko is getting a guy who thinks that he can take being Heiko to the next level. Do not next level Heiko, please.
Is this is a step towards a full-time job at MGoBlog?
Possibly but not necessarily. Given current growth rates we are a few years away from even considering another full time guy on the editorial side. The position is a good fit for a young guy who's looking for a start.
February 17th, 2014 at 11:10 AM ^
until that last requirement.
February 17th, 2014 at 11:14 AM ^
Thanks for all the work Heiko. I'll miss you! Is that weird?
February 17th, 2014 at 11:22 AM ^
I'm not applying, but I assume these will be asked:
What's the pay?
How should an applicant feel about bubble screens?
How does one apply? (resume to [email protected] ?)
Will losing Heiko's medical training mean that the new applicant must diagnose "boo-boos"?
February 17th, 2014 at 11:23 AM ^
February 17th, 2014 at 11:31 AM ^
But not this funny. +1
February 17th, 2014 at 11:31 AM ^
It's nothing of a sexual nature I assure you.
February 17th, 2014 at 11:36 AM ^
- Alan Stanwyk: If you reject the proposition, you keep the thousand - and your mouth shut.
- Fletch: Does this proposition entail my dressing up as Little Bo Peep?
- Alan Stanwyk: It's nothing of a sexual nature, I assure you.
- Fletch: Yeah, I assure you.
- Alan Stanwyk: One thousand just to listen. I don't see how you can pass that up, Mister...?
- Fletch: Nugent. Ted Nugent.
- Alan Stanwyk: Alan Stanwyk.
- Fletch: Ellen? Charmed. You know, for an extra grand, I'll let you take me out to dinner...
February 17th, 2014 at 11:38 AM ^
and glad you picked up on where I was going.
But it was funnier when you didn't have to explain it in such detail. Those who recognized it would be amused enough for me. :-)
February 17th, 2014 at 11:41 AM ^
Yeah, I hear you, I just couldn't resist.
You know, I came this close to buying this place, but then I found out that Hop-along Cassidy killed himself here.
February 17th, 2014 at 11:43 AM ^
Bow and arrow...very weird.
February 17th, 2014 at 11:44 AM ^
Don't talk to me like that, ass-face, I don't work for you, yet.
February 17th, 2014 at 12:11 PM ^
OMG that's hilarious. Plus one (of course) and major, major kudos.
February 17th, 2014 at 11:24 AM ^
Surely someone in the MGoBlog readership has a current position open for a research doctor. Simply incorporate the press conference transcription and questioning requirements into the position. Heiko will be the most qualified applicant and will certainly get the job.
Problem solved.
February 17th, 2014 at 11:35 AM ^
February 17th, 2014 at 11:36 AM ^
but he also had that "certain something" that you just can't describe...
February 17th, 2014 at 12:56 PM ^
I think the technical word is "intangibles"
February 17th, 2014 at 1:07 PM ^
Yes, I don't know what it was.
February 17th, 2014 at 11:35 AM ^
I assume girls are also eligible for this position?
February 17th, 2014 at 11:47 AM ^
username: Michael
February 17th, 2014 at 11:53 AM ^
Yes. Updated title to reflect that.
February 17th, 2014 at 11:36 AM ^
Except for that whole working for him thing. That part was normally pretty good. Would work for again!
-Non-disgruntled ex-employee
February 17th, 2014 at 11:47 AM ^
same thing as gruntled?
February 17th, 2014 at 11:52 AM ^
I was just in it for the benefits.
MGoBlog Benefit Package for Part-Timers:
- Being able to tell people you write sports for a living
- Not mentioning that you write for a blog
- Accidentally mentioning its for a blog then having to explain that you don't live in your mom's basement unless you were Tim who did live in his mom's basement.
- Women clammering for you. And by women, I mean lots of dudes in need of a content fix. NTTAWWT.
February 17th, 2014 at 11:53 AM ^
but I'm having such a "turn your head and cough" moment right now.
February 17th, 2014 at 11:53 AM ^
Yes.
gruntled (ˈɡrʌnt ə ld) | |
— adj | |
informal happy or contented; satisfied |
February 17th, 2014 at 11:48 AM ^
Isn't Al Borge looking for work?
February 17th, 2014 at 11:54 AM ^
"Coach Nussmeier, what is with all these bubble screens you're running?"
February 17th, 2014 at 11:52 AM ^
Is swag a requirement for this position? I assure you, i fulfill your swag needs.
February 17th, 2014 at 11:56 AM ^
Too bad, with the new offensive coordinator the best part of the job (asking about bubble screens) is probably no longer relevant.
February 17th, 2014 at 12:04 PM ^
That's OK, we can bitch about the lack of Fullback plays.
February 17th, 2014 at 12:15 PM ^
I hope Brian has more job openings soon. This thread is freaking hilarious.
February 17th, 2014 at 12:28 PM ^
February 17th, 2014 at 12:37 PM ^
February 17th, 2014 at 12:42 PM ^
February 17th, 2014 at 12:43 PM ^
February 17th, 2014 at 1:19 PM ^
It dawned on me that if I had to be there for press conferences, I could get there early and go to Angelo's. If I did that often, I'd end up with a heart attack. I can see how this is a position for a young (click for protologism table). I would like to thank Brian for saving me from myself!
February 17th, 2014 at 12:44 PM ^
If I get this job, can I live in Brian's basement?
February 17th, 2014 at 12:52 PM ^
have to put you on the wait list.
February 17th, 2014 at 12:45 PM ^
guy did this as a side job, he must really know what he is doing as a doc. Thanks for all of the great content!
February 17th, 2014 at 12:46 PM ^
you mention that this is a good fit for a young guy looking for a start. This has now been amended to include a young guy/gal looking for a start. What about an old guy/gal looking for a start/finish?! (Old here I think includes anyone born before 1974)
February 17th, 2014 at 1:00 PM ^
This job would be a perfect way to supplement my non-existent social security.
February 18th, 2014 at 11:27 AM ^
there wasn't a response to the age consideration question. Maybe they would change their minds if said older person was still paying for younger-college age person's bills or housing that 20-30 something blogger? Just a thought in the name of equal opportunity.
February 17th, 2014 at 12:49 PM ^
Heiko, you don't even visit anymore!!
February 17th, 2014 at 12:53 PM ^
February 17th, 2014 at 1:06 PM ^
February 17th, 2014 at 2:15 PM ^
February 17th, 2014 at 3:20 PM ^
I have been told by many an authority figure, that I have a problem with authority. Could you confirm if that makes me qualified for this position? I'm assuming we can negotiate the other contractual components regarding writing comprehension, location, time availability, transcribing skill, dress, personality, and being Heiko without actually being Heiko...of which, I am not qualified in any way what so ever. What are the next steps? When can I expect to hear back?
February 17th, 2014 at 5:26 PM ^
If only I lived in Ann Arbor...
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