until that last requirement.
Job Posting: Press Conference Person
As you may know, Heiko is leaving MGoBlog to go be a research doctor. This means we are in need of a person to fill his role. That is this:
- Attend football press conferences, both midweek and after games.
- Transcribe them.
- Ask questions as directed from on high.
- Dress nicely and be professional.
It is a part-time gig with an expected commitment of 10-15 hours a week during football season and spring practice. Given the nature of the job, you have to be located in Ann Arbor or environs and able to show up for press conferences that are usually mid-day on weekdays.
UPDATE: I have been dissuaded from using the lack of instructions as an intelligence test. Email resumes to firstname.lastname@example.org. Make 'em heavy on stuff you're doing for no reason other than you want to.
Can I write for other places?
Can I write articles for MGoBlog that actually contain, like, my own writing?
Possibly. Heiko wanted to and was good at it, so we expanded his position to encompass that. But he is an excellent, funny writer. You would have to be at least one of the two. It is a head start towards approaching the front page, but this role is distinct from the engaging writing that we like to have on the front page.
Should I acquire a weird, almost father-son relationship with one of the coordinators?
Do not come into this job trying to be Heiko. His relationship with Al Borges was amazing, miraculous, and idiosyncratic. We want you to be inquisitive about football in a way that will probably draw cocked eyebrows the first time you ask about something seemingly better suited for a coaching clinic than a press conference. HOWEVA, my biggest fear about replacing Heiko is getting a guy who thinks that he can take being Heiko to the next level. Do not next level Heiko, please.
Is this is a step towards a full-time job at MGoBlog?
Possibly but not necessarily. Given current growth rates we are a few years away from even considering another full time guy on the editorial side. The position is a good fit for a young guy who's looking for a start.
I'm not applying, but I assume these will be asked:
What's the pay?
How should an applicant feel about bubble screens?
How does one apply? (resume to email@example.com ?)
Will losing Heiko's medical training mean that the new applicant must diagnose "boo-boos"?
So this is definitely not one of those weird craigslist ads where I wind up shirtless and dancing with a stuffed bear wearing a mask of Tom Hammond? Because if so, I think you already have my resume on file.
But not this funny. +1
It's nothing of a sexual nature I assure you.
- Alan Stanwyk: If you reject the proposition, you keep the thousand - and your mouth shut.
- Fletch: Does this proposition entail my dressing up as Little Bo Peep?
- Alan Stanwyk: It's nothing of a sexual nature, I assure you.
- Fletch: Yeah, I assure you.
- Alan Stanwyk: One thousand just to listen. I don't see how you can pass that up, Mister...?
- Fletch: Nugent. Ted Nugent.
- Alan Stanwyk: Alan Stanwyk.
- Fletch: Ellen? Charmed. You know, for an extra grand, I'll let you take me out to dinner...
and glad you picked up on where I was going.
But it was funnier when you didn't have to explain it in such detail. Those who recognized it would be amused enough for me. :-)
Yeah, I hear you, I just couldn't resist.
You know, I came this close to buying this place, but then I found out that Hop-along Cassidy killed himself here.
OMG that's hilarious. Plus one (of course) and major, major kudos.
Surely someone in the MGoBlog readership has a current position open for a research doctor. Simply incorporate the press conference transcription and questioning requirements into the position. Heiko will be the most qualified applicant and will certainly get the job.
Heiko will be tough to replace. He had a certain je ne sais quoi. Poor grad-student type on a 20-hour a week assistantship is probably gonna be your best bet.
but he also had that "certain something" that you just can't describe...
I assume girls are also eligible for this position?
Yes. Updated title to reflect that.
Except for that whole working for him thing. That part was normally pretty good. Would work for again!
same thing as gruntled?
I was just in it for the benefits.
MGoBlog Benefit Package for Part-Timers:
- Being able to tell people you write sports for a living
- Not mentioning that you write for a blog
- Accidentally mentioning its for a blog then having to explain that you don't live in your mom's basement unless you were Tim who did live in his mom's basement.
- Women clammering for you. And by women, I mean lots of dudes in need of a content fix. NTTAWWT.
but I'm having such a "turn your head and cough" moment right now.
|gruntled (ˈɡrʌnt ə ld)|
|informal happy or contented; satisfied|
Isn't Al Borge looking for work?
"Coach Nussmeier, what is with all these bubble screens you're running?"
Is swag a requirement for this position? I assure you, i fulfill your swag needs.
Too bad, with the new offensive coordinator the best part of the job (asking about bubble screens) is probably no longer relevant.
That's OK, we can bitch about the lack of Fullback plays.
I hope Brian has more job openings soon. This thread is freaking hilarious.
Now I really wish I were still in Ann Arbor.
Does Chris Perry know about this opening?
This sounds way more appealing than living in Texas.
What if you're an old guy looking to ease into retirement? I will be applying for this job in about 20 years.
It dawned on me that if I had to be there for press conferences, I could get there early and go to Angelo's. If I did that often, I'd end up with a heart attack. I can see how this is a position for a young (click for protologism table). I would like to thank Brian for saving me from myself!
If I get this job, can I live in Brian's basement?
have to put you on the wait list.
guy did this as a side job, he must really know what he is doing as a doc. Thanks for all of the great content!
you mention that this is a good fit for a young guy looking for a start. This has now been amended to include a young guy/gal looking for a start. What about an old guy/gal looking for a start/finish?! (Old here I think includes anyone born before 1974)
This job would be a perfect way to supplement my non-existent social security.
there wasn't a response to the age consideration question. Maybe they would change their minds if said older person was still paying for younger-college age person's bills or housing that 20-30 something blogger? Just a thought in the name of equal opportunity.
Heiko, you don't even visit anymore!!
I don't live in Ann Arbor. Or type with more than four fingers. Or have talent.
It's okay, Scruffy.
or possess a larger ring of keys than you, scruffy. No one.
I have been told by many an authority figure, that I have a problem with authority. Could you confirm if that makes me qualified for this position? I'm assuming we can negotiate the other contractual components regarding writing comprehension, location, time availability, transcribing skill, dress, personality, and being Heiko without actually being Heiko...of which, I am not qualified in any way what so ever. What are the next steps? When can I expect to hear back?
I want to thank Heiko for his hard work and applaud his lateral move.
So, are you saying that out of shape football junkies living in Wisconsin aren't being seriously considered?? But I could just ask Drew Sharp for his notes from every conference and come the complete opposite conclusion. It would be perfect. Brian, I will be expecting your email shortly.