Why do I (we?) do this to myself?
I was absolutely devastated after the MSU game. I truly can't think of a stronger word than devastated. I had a two mile walk back to my car, and I was 100% soaked - had I jumped in a pool it would not have made me more wet. My phone was waterlogged and was completely destroyed. On Saturday night, I literally had nightmares about the game. Sunday was no better. By Monday, I had regained some semblance of functionality, and by today, I felt decent, at least somewhat like myself again. Then the US debacle happened, and the World Cup I've been buzzing about since the final whistle against Belgium in 2014 evaporated into thin air.
I truly don't think I have ever had such a profound combined reaction to a pair of sporting events than I've had toward the MSU game and the World Cup failure. I don't know if this is normal or if I'm unique in terms of the depth of my misery (and I suppose the validity of this question hinges on the answer to that question), but... for all of you who are like me: why do I do this to myself? Why do you do this to yourselves?
For Michigan, it's been 13 years since the last Big Ten championship, 20 years since the last National Championship (for reference, I am in my early 30s, so this drought is especially significant when compared to how long I've been alive). On the USMNT side, we've never been relevant in international soccer, and the successes worth celebrating have been few and far between. Clearly, the ratio of success to failure among the teams I'm most passionate about is grossly skewed toward the negative.
So I guess the question is... what keeps you coming back? Why are you still here 3 days after a gut-wrenching loss hitting F1 and begging for more? I am genuinely interested in hearing responses from others who consider themselves to be in the same boat as myself.
(To those for whom this delves too far into the realm of the touchy-feely: feel free to neg away. As you can see, I've been registered here for quite awhile and never bothered much with the pursuit of points)
October 11th, 2017 at 6:57 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 7:12 AM ^
Gee, I don't know, Barwis Effect.
Maybe because the guy's entire argument is being made on the basis of Michigan State and Ohio State being "superior football programs" with "superior coaching" and "tougher players," acting as though we had the doors blown off of us in every game, when we were in fact extremely competitive in all of them?
Maybe because there needs to exist nuance in the discussion of the games when evaluating the state of our football program versus that of our rivals, rather than acting like we were blown out and have no hopes of being competitive with them while strictly looking at the win loss column?
Maybe because the self-loathing kneejerk reactionary portions of our fanbase, as well as opposing fans, strictly cite the overall record to build a narrative (this guy literally said he expects Michigan to be at Iowa levels for 3-4 years) despite the actual realities of those games showing us to be at least on par in every instance but one?
Other than that, right on! A 13-42 loss is the exact same as a 27-30 OT loss! All losses are made equal, and we should pay no attention to the details of those games when evaluating the state of our football program versus that of our rivals! Damn excuse makers.
October 11th, 2017 at 9:33 AM ^
Please Please (!) do not put the losing score before the winning score. I am asking nicely.
October 11th, 2017 at 7:42 PM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 8:48 PM ^
Awesome counterargument that really laid out a convincing vision and addressed the cogent points of my post, you really showed me! Boy am I sure eating crow, I don't know how I'll ever recover from that one.
October 12th, 2017 at 1:00 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 9:43 AM ^
Do not piss off Get a Grip, it doesnt turn out well.
October 11th, 2017 at 12:41 AM ^
Yes, that awesome coach who is 94-43 and just went 3-9.
October 11th, 2017 at 1:11 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 1:15 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 1:15 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 1:15 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 1:22 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 3:38 AM ^
The last 3 days have just shown us (again) fans are insane. It doesn't have to be one of those. I think Dantonio is a d-bag and they got lucky this year and 2 years ago, but if you don't think Dantonio is a good football coach you're just a blind homer.
October 11th, 2017 at 10:24 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 8:12 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 9:27 AM ^
State is "not the best football team in the state." Nor do they recruit better. Dantonio is a good coach. He analyzed and exploited every flaw we had and we helped him out majorly with our deficient O Line. We were lucky to only be trailing by 11 points because of that - our weaknesses more than MSU's strengths.
How do you explain State's performance that last bowl appearance?
October 11th, 2017 at 12:24 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 12:27 AM ^
So maybe the solution is to have a daughter? I suppose I could try that.
October 11th, 2017 at 8:26 AM ^
2 daughters and it still doesn't help. I'm still miserable after 3 days.
I'm aware I take football too serious. Can't help it.
October 11th, 2017 at 12:27 AM ^
I went to Michigan. They'll always be my team. I'm 31 and have seen them beat OSU once since I became a Michigan fan my freshman year (2004). 1-12. Oh well. Life isn't fair.
If you're debilitated for days after a loss though, truly, I'd recommend stepping back a bit. Plan something fun with the wife or girlfriend on Sunday (or whatever) and just move on. I say this from experience.
October 11th, 2017 at 12:28 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 12:31 AM ^
against our rivals.
October 11th, 2017 at 12:41 AM ^
And, even Bo, when the program was humming for years had speed bumps.
Yes, we’re closer to 5-0 than 3-2, but we could be 3-2. Football is a game of structured chaos. 2 or three plays go our way and we’re 5-0. Lots to play for this year. Go on a tear and who knows.
Program is on the upswing, perfection is rarely attainable, and when it happens, oh so sweet. I’ve was there for Denard’s UTL miracle, Tate’s ND miracle, the ‘98 Rose Bowl, Howard’s catch impossible catch against ND.
And many hard losses. Oregon dominating M at home, Bo’s last game — a loss in the Rose Bowl, and Rocket’s dismantling of M.
Sports lift us up and tear us apart. Like life. We’re lucky to be Michigan.
Yost, Crisler, Schembechler and Harbaugh. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
October 11th, 2017 at 12:31 AM ^
God, this place is one big therapy session this week! Well...
Here we go.
October 11th, 2017 at 12:31 AM ^
Jesus, some people need to take a breath. Throw yourself into work a bit more this week, put more time into a side project, or spend some time doing something else. Yeah, I was in a bad mood, but disconnect from football for a day or two.
October 11th, 2017 at 12:31 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 12:41 AM ^
Yea, man. I'm a "pussy". Thanks for helping me get to the bottom of it.
Honestly, I truly did not mean to get this attached to this thing, or to any team for that matter. Grew up with my dad having season tickets, and it just sort of happened. I've got 3 brothers and a dad who are all die-hards, and none of them seem to have this problem. I've tried various means of detaching myself, none of them work. Like I said earlier, this thing doesn't seem to have an off switch, hence the post. Wondering if anyone else was in the same boat.
October 11th, 2017 at 12:45 AM ^
"Come fight me, bro! I'll give you my address when you call."
October 11th, 2017 at 12:50 AM ^
Haha yea, I saw that post, and I thought to myself, "that guy is me, except if you replaced 'sad' with 'stabby'."
October 11th, 2017 at 12:49 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 12:52 AM ^
No worries man, I know tolerance for these types of posts has got to be at an all-time low. Probably not the best timing on my part, but after the USMNT stuff tonight and how it paralled Saturday, I was genuinely curious if there were others feeling the same way.
October 11th, 2017 at 5:11 AM ^
...have been a Michigan football fan since 1973 (age 10). When I was younger I would be pissed for a week if/when the Wolverines lost a ballgame. Luckily those were the days when Michigan football would lose 1 game a year, except for the annual Rose Bowl defeat following the regular season. I control my level of disappointment much better now (after a Michigan football loss my anger only lasts about a day). That being said, I still found it hard to sleep after the losses to MSU in 2015 and this season. In fact, after this last defeat I was so pissed walking back to my car from the stadium that I vowed to just quit watching the Wolverines for the rest of the season. I even decided to not go with my wife to see Michigan play PED State on the 21st of October as planned. Well those feelings lasted about 2 days and I am now back to my full-fledged passion for Michgian football. I don't know what it is, but my love for Michigan football is just ingrained in my being. I'll be cheering on the Wolverines in Unhappy Valley come about 1-1/2 weeks from now. Go Blue!
October 11th, 2017 at 9:39 AM ^
about throwing yourself into other pursuits was good advice. Take on a work project you've had on a back burner and nail it. Rake some leaves, paint, clean the basement... come to think of it, I've got some stuff you could do around here if that would be therapeutic :-)
October 11th, 2017 at 10:11 AM ^
Haha, if I ever run out of chores to do around my own house, I'll bring my rake on over and help out.
October 11th, 2017 at 6:10 AM ^
But perhaps it takes some life experience to put "The Game" and others into perspective. I am a diehard fan and know that I took some losses hard when I was younger. But, being in my late 40s I was luckey enough to have a bounce back game or season right around the corner. By the time the Rod-Hoke era came, Michigan had already built up a good enough record to get me through the down times... younger fans I think have it harder in this regard. Again back to life experience and perspecitve.... when you lose a loved one, have a sick child, loss a job and have a hard time finding another, experience some significant financial hardship, have a significant other dealing with mental health issues or have damage to your home because of a fire or flood (knock on wood to all) you come to realize how much emotional weight you should be placing in a game.... regardless if it is for the best team in the best sport. I sincerely hope you do not need to go through any of these to "gain a proper prespective" reagading being a Michigan Fan.
Go Blue!!
October 11th, 2017 at 10:16 AM ^
Thanks for the post, and I hope so as well. I'll be the first to admit that I'm blessed beyond belief. I've faced a bit of adversity but nothing even worth mentioning when placed up alongside the things you've mentioned.
Unfortunately, that's one of the contributing factors to the bad mojo after games like these - when I realize I'm butthurt about a freaking football game in a world full of actual tragedy, I get pretty upset with myself for being so childish/selfish/etc... which in turn perpetuates the bad mojo.
October 11th, 2017 at 12:35 AM ^
When a loss eats away at you, that's a bad thing. Personally, the lost Saturday wasn't too hard to bear and will soon be forgotten (by me). Two years ago after the fumbled punt, I could not say the same thing.
I would suggest to find your happy place where you can separate the emotions you pour into sports from those necessary to function as a social and present being. It's a little different than actually not caring*. Possibly being on the west coast changes how Michigan footbal is intertwined with my day. A noon start means that I'm watching football from 9 to 1 and have an entire weekend day remaining when its over. Sulking from a loss steals that day from you. No need for the 24 hours for me to refocus on the foe next Saturday. I need to savor each Saturday if it's a party or just doing chores. That focus needs to shift to the next game for the players and it needs to shift to our next task for us.
I get what you are saying though. I love this team. This year, the team has been fun to root for. I'm glad we are ranked 17th. I wish we were unranked. This team needs to play like an underdog. They need to win with hustle and will because we know they (just the O) aren't going to be winning with superior skill. College football is fun and Michigan is really fun right now to root for. Too bad 9 am Saturday is so far away.
*It seems as though Harbaugh and to some extent his players, are (or have) made this distinction. Some on this board have argued that it is not caring or loosing thier "fire". I would disagree. It's more like the zen flow of a golfer at the peak of his game. There is an intense passion there but that passion is controled by Harbaugh as opposed to Harbaugh allowing the passion to control him.
October 11th, 2017 at 12:35 AM ^
Because it's who I am. Following Michigan is my family, it's my home, it's my school. I'm a passionate, competitive guy in all areas of life (true fact: my mood was significantly improved just the other day because I won Apples to Apples at a party). Put those factors together, and there's no choice. I can't not do it, so I may as well try to find as many ways to enjoy it as possible.
October 11th, 2017 at 12:36 AM ^
I have no answer.
October 11th, 2017 at 12:42 AM ^
Appreciate the honesty/empathy.
October 11th, 2017 at 10:07 AM ^
most of the people on here that are just like "let it go dude it is just a game!" are the ones having the most difficult time with the loss. It is not just you, at all. This week has sucked major ass. It starts to fade on Wednesday, the mental "what ifs" start to go away on Thursday, everybody is drunk Friday and then you are ready for game time on Saturday.
October 11th, 2017 at 12:49 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 12:51 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 12:52 AM ^
get some tickets to the game. Don't get good tickets down in row 10 - get tickets in row 70. Don't get tickets in the Michigan section - rather sit amongst Indiana fans. Ideally, sit among some DIE-HARD, non-millenial age Indiana football fans. (yes, die-hard IU football fans do actually exist)
Talk to them, converse with them, and enjoy their company. Listen more than you talk. Wish them well at the games end, no matter what the result.
Should give you perspective on being a fan. None of us are "owed" anything as a fan of our favorite team. You win some and lose some - and there are some fans who literally NEVER see success. But even those folk see benefits and even joy in their fandom.
Thus ends my philosophical rant. :-)
October 11th, 2017 at 1:00 AM ^
Solid post, good perspective, but... are you sure there are actual IU diehards? Like, have you personally empirically verified this?
October 11th, 2017 at 1:26 AM ^
they definitely exist. Bloomington is among my more favorite B1G towns.
2013 - IU's first ever win against Penn State and it was a total WHOOPING. Something like 44-22. Not exactly ideal from my POV and it poured down rain on my drive home. But it was still a fun adventure.
October 11th, 2017 at 12:59 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 1:02 AM ^
It's not exactly the same feeling for me, but the scarcity of it - one World Cup every 4 years (or 8 now, I guess) - puts it on a similar level.
October 11th, 2017 at 1:09 AM ^
up the meds my friend !