Previously: Krushed By Stauskas (Illinois 2014), Introducing #ChaosTeam (Indiana 2009), Revenge is Terrifying (Colorado 1996), Four Games In September I (Boston College 1991), Four Games In September II (Boston College 1994), Four Games In September III (Boston College 1995), Four Games In September IV (Boston College 1996), Pac Ten After Dark Parts One and Two (UCLA 1989), Harbaugh's Grand Return Parts One and Two (Notre Dame 1985), Deceptive Speed Parts One and Two (Purdue 1999)

Week One: 1993 Washington Part One, Part Two, 2002 Washington Twitch stream

This Game: Condensed game, WH highlights, box score, MGoPreview, Denard After Dentist, Offense UFR, Defense UFR, a Notre Dame fan's live blog

Lineup Cards! Brought to you by Seth. Click the images to embiggen.

Michigan offense vs. Notre Dame defense:

Michigan defense vs. Notre Dame offense:

Michigan-Notre Dame is a sight to behold.

Yes, the rivalry has lost its national luster. The Irish's season-opening loss to USF ensures this is the third time in five games both teams enter the contest unranked; that hadn't happened in the history of the rivalry until 2007. Notre Dame is in year two under Brian Kelly after the program bottomed out under Charlie Weis. Michigan is in year one under Brady Hoke (and offensive coordinator Al Borges) after Rich Rodriguez could only field half of a good team.

The rivalry itself is still healthy, however. Despite being, well, not very good, the Wolverines have taken the last two games in the series, both last-minute triumphs featuring star-turning performances by Michigan quarterbacks—Tate Forcier in 2009 and Denard Robinson in 2010. Meanwhile, the two teams are playing in Michigan Stadium's first-ever night game.

As per usual with this game, nobody has a clue what to expect. Notre Dame turned the ball over five times in its season opener but only lost by three points. Michigan looked good against an overmatched Western Michigan squad but didn't even complete three quarters before the game was called due to lightning. How little did we know? This was in Brian's preview:

The only thing we can take from the USF game is that Notre Dame has trouble defending bubble screens. The Bulls consistently racked up 5-10 yards despite the wholesale suck of Daniels. Chalk up some free yards on the outside.

Chalk is easily erased, thankfully.

As you'd expect from a game with a name—Under The Lights—there's a lot of pregame fanfare. Michigan unveils the Legends Jersey program by honoring Desmond Howard.

[After THE JUMP: #FreeDenard]

Junior Hemingway wears the celebrated #21 uniform. Ann Arbor goes from dusk to dark within the first couple minutes of kickoff. The Goodyear blimp captures the scene.

It's beautiful. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for Michigan's first half.

Notre Dame wins the toss and defers, so we start the game with a taste of Denard-Borges fusion cuisine. It's but a nibble: after Robinson gains seven yards on a QB power to open the drive, standout ND linebacker Manti Te'o destroys a QB stretch, lineman Ricky Barnum false starts, and Robinson misses a third-and-11 checkdown behind the line of scrimmage. A suboptimal start, though at least Borges is running Denard out of the shotgun, which strikes terror into the heart of every Irish partisan after his record-breaking performance in 2010.

The first Irish drive is foreboding; while this mostly applies to Michigan's young defense, still getting accustomed to Greg Mattison's new scheme, there's also a brief ND slip-up to keep in the memory bank. Running back Cierre Wood opens the drive with an 11-yard rush, exploiting a bad angle by freshman linebacker Desmond Morgan, who's been pushed into starting duty for lack of a better alternative. QB Tommy Rees hits WR Michael Floyd for a 21-yard gain. Wood covers 11 more yards straight up the gut to set up first-and-goal.

Rees fumbles the next snap; he manages to dive on it to save the drive. Two plays later, Mattison brings a heavy blitz, leaving safety/nickel Thomas Gordon on an island with slot Theo Riddick, whose versatility and receiving ability still have him in the NFL nine years later. When ND's line easily picks up the rushers, this goes as you'd expect. Gordon is shading Riddick far enough inside that Rees can miss his mark on the out route by a yard and still throw an easy touchdown.

7-0, Irish.

Michigan goes three-and-out. They've used three running backs in six plays: starter Michael Shaw, power back Stephen Hopkins, and third-down back Vincent Smith. A holding penalty on the punt return at least pins ND inside their 20.

We return from commercial break to learn Kirk Herbstreit has consumed what he believes is an all-time record four Zingmerman's sandwiches in two days. Sir. He also says one of those sandwiches was a PB&J, which is how you know he makes a stupid amount of money.

Anyway, Brian Kelly keeps calling the perfect counters to Mattison's myriad blitzes. The combination of runs away from pressure and quick-hitters to Floyd, Riddick, and tight end Tyler Eifert is proving difficult to slow down. Michigan simply doesn't have the talent in the secondary to keep up. Floyd sets up another first-and-goal when he opens up corner Courtney Avery on a slant.

Brent Musburger notes that the Irish were 2-for-6 in the red zone the previous week. Two Wood carries later, they're 2-for-2 against Michigan. Alarmingly, the hole on the touchdown run is opened by the left side of ND's line obliterating Mike Martin and Jibreel Black, two of the M's three best defensive linemen. Wood does the eating celebration, which feels like salt in the wound even though all the kids are doing it these days.

Borges responds by putting Denard under center in a heavy I-formation and running a play-action waggle that gets him smashed at the line of scrimmage by multiple defenders when nobody pops open. They go to the shotgun on the next play; Denard cuts back against the grain and gets to the chains. Funny how that works! Surely the smart football man will notice this trend, too.

Ah, well. Hopkins rushes for two yards. On the next snap, the last of the first quarter, disaster hits; Robinson blindly throws a screen pass over Smith's head and it's picked off by a diving Gary Gray. I do not like seeing Denard like this, please make it stop.

The defense stiffens up, at least, booting the Irish off the field in three plays; ND even burns their second timeout amid some pre-snap confusion prior to the punt. Before they get the punt off, we hear a promo for Tom Brady's Patriots facing Chad Henne's Dolphins. Then, prior to Michigan's offense taking the field, we witness a fan going through the experience of seeing Charles Woodson in the flesh.

It appears overwhelming.

This time around, Borges starts the drive with something that might work.

He's learning. Everything is going to be great! Michigan punts after three failed pass plays, the second an off-target pass to an open Roy Roundtree that reveals Denard's frustration again.

This is my first time watching a non-condensed broadcast of this game. I'm enjoying it less than I anticipated.

Floyd is proving unstoppable, starting the next drive with a 21-yard gain on a screen on which he runs right around Gordon. Both he and Troy Woolfolk, who entered this game with an ankle injury, exit after a sideline collision on another Floyd target; the Irish burn their last timeout so Floyd can return, while Woolfolk stays on the bench. When Rees looks for his favorite target again, however, Jordan Kovacs is waiting to undercut the throw.

This is a swing play, to say the least. Hopkins slams into the line from I-form for two yards, which is annoying for only a moment. That's because Borges uses all that rushing, uh, persistence to set up a play-action bomb to Hemingway, who high-points the ball and then stretches to hit the pylon for a highlight-reel score.

There's a long review to see if the worst rule in football—a touchback when the ballcarrier fumbles into the end zone—applies to the end of this play. The call stands, pulling Michigan within seven.

It looks for all the world like Notre Dame will strike back. Wood cruises up the middle for 22 yards when Kelly catches Mattison dropping Martin, his best interior run defender, into zone coverage on an edge blitz. Floyd draws a defensive pass interference on Avery. Even an ND personal foul is a temporary setback; Floyd beats J.T. Floyd one-on-one to pick up all but an inch of what's needed for the first down, then Wood picks it up.

Kenny Demens gets a nice stop on the edge, prompting Musburger's first mangled name of the night when he credits the play to "Dewins." With no timeouts left, ND eats a delay of game, eliciting a mini-blowup from Kelly.

The Irish get right back in business when Floyd frees himself over the middle for ten yards and a first down. Once again, however, Rees forces it to his favorite receiver one too many times, getting intercepted at the goal line by J.T. Floyd.

The next drive is doomed by execution instead of playcalling, so at least Michigan is keeping it fresh, I guess. A first-down handoff to Shaw from the gun loses a yard. Denard overthrows Roundtree on a shot play. Hemingway gets open on a flood concept against zone coverage, just as designed, but Robinson's ball is uncatchable. Matt Wile then hits a crummy 33-yard punt, which Irish return man John Goodman (NTJG) fair catches on the midfield stripe.

As the half winds down, Michigan's chances of keeping the Irish out of the end zone look bleak. Floyd beats Avery for another first down pickup. On a third-and-five, Jonas Gray goes down Main Street for 12 yards when Martin drops into a short zone again. Kelly has Mattison's number. Finally, though, a couple of Mattison's blitzes get close enough to force a field goal attempt, which David Ruffer puts through from 38 yards. 17-7, Notre Dame.

Despite having two timeouts and Denard Robinson, Hoke/Borges have an easy decision to pack it in for halftime with 1:40 on the clock when a penalty on a short kickoff return puts the ball at the six.

"They’re really not built for inside your own five- or ten-yard line, two timeouts, a minute-and-a-half to go, let’s drive 60 or 70 yards and try to get in field goal range," says Herbstreit. "I’m not saying they can’t do it but right now they don’t necessarily have the pieces in place to be able to do that."

File that one away, too. Denard kneels out the clock. Kelly has to be peeved that his offense's lack of having their shit together cost the team two timeouts; alas, the broadcast doesn't note this or show his face. As we head into the tunnel, Erin Andrews catches Hoke for a rather blunt interview.

WELL, that could've gone better.

Stay tuned for the absolutely batshit conclusion on Friday and don't forget to join us on Saturday at noon ET for a live Twitch stream (further details forthcoming on that one).