Previously: Krushed By Stauskas (Illinois 2014), Introducing #ChaosTeam (Indiana 2009), Revenge is Terrifying (Colorado 1996), Four Games In September I (Boston College 1991), Four Games In September II (Boston College 1994), Four Games In September III (Boston College 1995)

This game: WolverineHistorian highlights, full game, box score

I truly don't know where to begin with this one.

It's September 23rd, 1989. Michigan is 0-1 after losing a #1 vs. #2 battle to Rocket Ismail's Notre Dame. The team is far from full strength; senior starting quarterback Michael Taylor went down with a back injury in the ND game and both starting guards didn't make the trip to Los Angeles due of illness.

While the Wolverines had entered the spring with great quarterback depth, senior Demetrius Brown was ruled academically ineligible weeks prior to the season, and the presumed next man in line, sophomore Wilbur Odom, missed the beginning of fall practice with his own academic issues. Your starting quarterback, fresh off an admirable comeback effort in relief against the Irish, is redshirt freshman Elvis Grbac.

People's Sexiest Man Alive, 1998.

Meanwhile, the offensive line—which already lost tackle Warde Manuel to a season-ending injury in the offseason—is starting a junior, two sophomores, and two freshmen. ABC only bats .500 on the center's name in their in-game graphics.

you have angered the viking

Michigan's opponent is 1-1 UCLA, which entered the season at #6 before getting spanked at home by unranked Tennessee and narrowly slipping past San Diego State. The Bruins are working with their own redshirt freshman quarterback, Bret Johnson, after the graduation of #1 overall draft pick Troy Aikman. While expectations have slipped, head coach Terry Donahue has led the team to an unprecedented seven bowl wins in the last seven years.

Donahue has shaken up his coaching staff from the previous season. Offensive coordinator Steve Axman was one of the only coaches to be let go in what was otherwise a Mark Dantonio-style reshuffling of the deck chairs. Axman's replacement is the deck chair that had been in charge of UCLA's defensive line for the previous seven seasons. Reader, I damn near fell off my couch when Bob Griese said this during the second half:

“And now Greg Robinson, who was a defensive line coach, moves over to offense, so that’s a little bit of an adjustment.”

Yes, that Greg "GERG" Robinson has been tabbed to revitalize an offense many felt was too conservative and ground-focused when Axman had Aikman at his disposal. I'll give that a moment to sink in.

The broadcast, which refuses to acknowledge the context and limited sample size, believes GERG has instigated a turnaround:

UCLA finished 1989 at 190 yards per game :(

While Donahue's mind-boggling experiment goes surprisingly well in this particular game, you'll be shocked to learn it doesn't hold up, and perhaps even curses the rest of his coaching career. But that's for Part Two.

[Hit THE JUMP for Keith Jackson's preamble and an unexpectedly fraught first half.]

The game is the second part of a doubleheader of Big Ten vs. Pac Ten matchups, preceded by a 42-3 USC stomping of Ohio State. Kickoff is just after 5 pm local time. We're at the Rose Bowl. Keith Jackson, legendary announcer and evidently a part-time meteorologist, is on the call. This is the good stuff.

Michigan goes three-and-out to open the game, then UCLA punts a touchback after a couple first downs. Bo Schembechler leans hard on backs Tony Boles and Leroy Hoard, running five straight times to open the ensuing drive, before a third-and-six forces a pass play. A tentative-looking Grbac throws a ball into coverage that's tipped and intercepted.

The Bruins embark on a 13-play, 55-yard drive featuring one play longer than ten yards. Despite the preceding sentence, Griese loves what he's seeing out of UCLA's young quarterback:

“Probably the biggest difference between Johnson and Troy Aikman of last year is that [Johnson] has such great mobility.”

Sure! Anyway, the Bruins go for it on fourth-and-goal from the one, and Kevin Williams brings up a ghost of Rose Bowl past:

While I imagine this wasn't his thought at that precise moment, after the game, Bo acknowledged that this was a lot closer than Charles White's phantom touchdown a decade prior:

We don't get a very good replay angle; it looks to me like the ball nips the goal line before it comes out, but it's damn close. Regardless, it's 7-0, Bruins.

Michigan's next drive begins with defensive lineman Mike Lodish, a Birmingham Brother Rice grad who spurned the home school for UCLA, sacking Grbac for a big loss—then pointing straight at Schembechler on the visitor's sideline. A screen to Hoard nearly gets the first down, however, and when Hoard is stuffed on third-and-short, Lodish hands his foe a freebie to open the second quarter when the officials catch his cheap shot on Grbac:

Michigan stalls out again near midfield, only to again attain a first down via penalty, this time because the roughing the punter rule of the time calls for a flag even if a player is blocked into the punter. In this case, that occurs in spectacular fashion:

Heck of a punt, though Michigan takes the penalty. They avoid further disaster when receiver Greg McMurtry pounces on a Hoard fumble, and kicker JD Carlson knocks through a 46-yarder to cap a 12-play, 52-yard scoring drive. The uniforms are prettier than the football, to be sure.

Once again, UCLA goes on a long scoring march, this time covering 70 yards in ten plays, only two of which go for double-digit yardage. Johnson finds his former high school teammate, Scott Miller, for a six-yard touchdown. I'm much less upset about this when ABC gives us a sideline close-up of Miller:

Kudos for growing a mullet seemingly designed to work around a helmet. The 14-3 UCLA lead, despite coming at home, is a surprise to most everyone. On the ensuing kickoff, a freshman Desmond Howard mishandles the ball, only to be bailed out by the speed of Boles:

It looks like the Bruins will get a chance to blow the game open when a pass to a well-covered Hoard is initially ruled a catch and fumble. That so defies what everyone else can see that it's eventually overturned by the crew on the field:

Who needs formal replay?

The drive continues mostly on the ground, giving us time to hear this exchange between Jackson and Griese:

“Bo’s an author now, he wrote a book, a very delightful book.” — Griese

“Boy, it is. Terrific.” — Jackson

“Read it on the plane coming back last week. Somebody asked him, when they make the movie, who’s gonna play Bo? And without batting an eye he said, ‘Robert Redford, of course.’” — Griese

“(laughs) Bob, you’d better go in training.” — Jackson

Michigan gets a third-and-three on the UCLA eight-yard line, but an attempt at trickery goes awry when Howard is tripped up on a reverse for a loss of ten with 18 seconds left in the half. Carlson's second field goal sends the game into halftime with the home underdog leading 14-6.

Stay tuned for Part Two, featuring more fumbles, controversy, Keith Jackson, and wild special teams play later this week.