LaMarr Woodley made Tressel into a Wal-Mart greeter? Brilliant!
a vitally important recap of all the dumb tweets sent during the Harbaugh coaching search
A standard piece of rivalry whatnot made sublime by the copyright notice in the bottom left corner. The image of Lamarr Woodley hunched over his pirated copy of photoshop using the smudge tool on Tressel's neck is priceless. Don't tell me he just republished it. I don't want to know your lies and terrible mind.
The price of famous. Boy am I glad Burgeoning Wolverine Star was ready to scoff mightily at the latest bit of "but he's really a good guy, seriously" stuff from OSU fans. This one's from Ramzy and details Tressel being really, really nice at a local children's hospital.
Again, that's great and all but the price of being a rich celebrity these days is to do your share of charity work. You can't throw a brick at a former Michigan player or coach without seriously endangering an already-pretty-endangered ten year old in a hospital gown. BWS points out all the large-people-are-nice stuff everywhere:
Rich Rodriguez spent significant time at the U of M Children's hospital, as did a number players from the team. Brock Mealer can nearly walk now because of Rodriguez's generosity. The now-annual Spring Game has become a massive fundraiser for Mott's Children's Hospital.
The NBA has The NBA Cares program. Professional football and hockey players find themselves doing charity work frequently. With stature, money, and influence comes significant responsibilities, one of which is to give back to the community. And given their position as role models--despite what Charles Barkley will have you believe--that means going to hospitals, soup kitchens, and helping the less fortunate. Jim Tressel, in this regard, is not remarkable. He's not unprecedented or special. He's someone doing what he's supposed to do with the influence and money he's earned.
Tressel's not a monster, but he's not any different in this than most rich public figures. Except insofar as other rich public figures don't flaunt the rules of their organizations quite so brazenly.
BWS has evidently Had Enough, as he spent a long time shooting holes in Ramzy's bit. If you're up for some fiskin', recommended.
"He took care of his kids." What do you want, a cookie? Watch this, replacing "black people" with "Buckeyes" and "lawyaz" with "cooler poopers":
Shut up about the damn kids. If the kids learned how to be a man from Tressel, they learned all too well.
Not everywhere. Recruitocosm has an article from a former Texas walk-on describing their practices. Key bit:
If you have a car, the compliance office will have the make, model, and plate number. You have to show how you are making payments or who is making payments. They let you know that if you drive something other than the car you tell them about, it better belong to a family member and if you park it on campus you have to bring it to the attention of the compliance office. God forbid that the UT Parking Nazis give you a parking ticket and it go unpaid before sunset. Got an unpaid ticket? MadDog had a way to remind you to park in your correct spot and that’s AFTER the ticket was paid. If you live off campus, you have to provide your lease at the beginning of each semester and show where the money to pay the rent is coming from.
Every time ANOTHER SEC school gets busted giving cars or cash (or having an agent do it) to a player, they parade the usual suspects (Holtz, Meyer, Saban) onto ESPN where they cry crocodile tears about how HARD it is to keep track of 85 guys and what they do in their off time?
You have 85 players to go with 8 position coaches, 10 S&C coaches, 5 full time academic support personnel, 5 full time athletic trainers, 15 student assistant trainers, 5 guys on the film staff, 10 equipment managers, a recruiting coordinator, and 5 guys in your compliance office devoted to football. You can do the math on player-to-support personnel ratios, but it’s pretty obvious that if the people in a NCAA football program are paying one lick of attention and actually give a rip about playing by the rules, it is IMPOSSIBLE to have a car (worth driving) that people in the program don’t know about. This “open secret” at Ohio State with cars ranging from free to ultimate sweetheart deals is unforgiveable.
There is a level of ignorance coaches can plausibly claim; Pryor's ever-rotating swanky used car is not one of them, neither is Ohio State's 11-day investigation into the tattoo business that did not turn up sketchy dudes named Ellis.
Thank you Pryor clapclapclap, part IV. Meanwhile, Pryor's license is suspended because he has no proof of insurance. Who wants to bet Pryor's never had any insurance—which is expensive for 20-year-olds driving fancy cars—because he's been driving around Auto Direct vehicles since his arrival? I do. This guy does.
Dohrmann also expanded on Pryor's mad equipment loot on a radio blitz yesterday:
He believes that Pryor traded, “more than 20 items, including game-worn shoulder pads, multiple helmets, Nike cleats, jerseys, game pants and more” for tattoos or cash. This, Dohrmann argues, should prove OSU was aware (or should have been aware) of what was going on. How could they not notice how much equipment was going missing?
If true that is another step towards a lack of institutional control charge. Pryor's cars and one SI reporter managing to expand the tattoo business to 28 players when OSU's internal investigation-type substance concluded the six players mentioned in the federal report were the only bad apples take the Buckeyes' issues from a Tressel problem to an OSU problem. Take it from John Cooper:
“Compliance is not doing their job when this kind of stuff happens and they act like they don’t know about it. When I was coaching over there, compliance was around everywhere. It’s almost like they were trying to find us violating a rule.”
That is kind of compliance's purpose.
Is Cooper trying to help there or just so incensed this crap got laid in Tressel's lap when the institution has a responsibility to take care of this stuff before the head coach has an opportunity to "make a mistake*"?
*[This is an Ohio-based idiom that means "continue your decades-long pattern of malfeasance." /themoreyouknow.]
Hat. What does Les Miles think of oversigning?
“I said that there has to be an alligator handler in every class. In fact Troy has got the swamp people. We’ve got to make sure that we keep a quality contingent of free-spirited men around.”
There's some sort of explanation for that, but your life will be a little bit better if you have absolutely no context for that statement.
Truth. Daniel Tosh on Michigan State:
At least those girls got communications PhDs for the video.
Etc.: local woman says she has photos of "shenanigans" going on last December—after the NCAA had suspended various Buckeyes.
One of my favorite hockey bloggers went to England to check out Blackpool's failed attempt to avoid relegation and comes back with a picture of the way English fans see their clubs that contrasts mightily with resigned Americans and their pro leagues. It's a good start if you ever want to explain why college is more important than the pros to you.
Matt Hayes has an interestingly Machiavellian proposal for the BCS: let the Mountain West get an autobid the next two years in near-accordance with their standards (the MWC barely misses on one of the three BCS autobid criteria), then take it away once Utah, BYU, and TCU evaporate.
BWS on the Ray Small trashing. Stop snitching, etc.
LaMarr Woodley made Tressel into a Wal-Mart greeter? Brilliant!
So i just got in trouble at work because I couldn't stop laughing out loud at that walmart pic. Pure genius
As someone who once helped a football player fix his car, Michigan compliance was so far up my ass there was a blue lot in my lower colon and I almost got my own blue bus stop. The player bought the tie rods and I did the labor since I knew how and had the tools. He paid me for my time in beer and pizza. Compliance jumped all over this and figured out the hourly rate for a mechanic was greater than the cost of the beer and pizza, thus he still owed me money. I attempted to lowball my time estimate for doing the job, they talked to a real mechanic and got the official time estimate for tie rod replacement. They were also unimpressed by the fact I helped all my friends fix their cars in exchange for beer and pizza. So they basically stood over him while he wrote me a check for what they demanded the difference was. They also made him pay my uncle who let us use the lift in his garage.
I tossed the check aside and figured "I might cash this if he gets drafted, maybe". Someone though noticed the money never came out of his account and started calling me about cashing the damn check. This was old school Carr era though.
The next time I worked on his car I sarcastically sent them an invoice (six page writeup for helping him replace two brake pads) "for their records", they crosschecked all my time estimates and sent me back an approval letter and a genuine thank you for the paper...
that something this should not happen at Michigan due to the complience people actually checking things out.
assessment of OSU compliance when he was coaching there. And like the description of Texas compliance. OSU's excuses -- "But it's SO HARD to keep track of the athletes!" -- sound more and more absurd every day.
(Also, Texas Compliance sounds like it would make a good reality show. It could air right after Cops.)
You're going to be magnificent grandpa one day.
When did our compliance go completely to hell? The NCAA investigation of the program under RR shows that our compliance people stopped this kind of vigorous enforcement towards the end of LC's time as coach.
I feel like they just watched bank accounts and didn't have a clue about other things. Of course keep in mind I never got along well with compliance after this conversation:
Compliance Guy: Well a fair labor rate is 400 dollars (for the tie rod thing*)
Me: I don't see why NAME DELETED should have to suffer just because you're dumb enough to let your mechanic rape you.
*uncomfortable silence, muffled snickering from the two football players in the room*
*Yes this compliance guy rolled in a Benz and showed me a dealer invoice where he paid 200 in labor to have a tie rod replaced. Since I did two he figured that was 400. If you ever open a garage, get this guy as a customer. Don't even ask what he paid for the rod, it was disgusting.
I just had my axle AND tie rod replaced recently, and I don't think I paid the $200, no more the $400. If they need more reasonable quotes, drop me a line, they can use my mechanic. But then, he isn't a rapist.
My mechanic only operates the one branch in My City. He's taken care of my car for years and he's never tried to pull a fast one on me and my Consumer Reports-reading heine AFAIK.
+1 for correctly avoiding misuse of the expression "This begs the question..."
And to expand on Sgt. Wolverine's comment, I think CRex needs his own reality TV show.
LaMarr Woodley kills people with Photoshop.
If my opinion means anything, that's no slacker PS work right there. I'd be shocked if it's actually the work of LaMarr.
Then again, I'm not stupid enough to actually go on record as calling out #56. Not because I doubt his raster skills, and not because he's one of my all-time UM heroes.
A) it's the off season
B) it's OSU getting what's coming
C) Woodley is a Wolverine great.
Of course he's more than likely to have made that photo!
Edit: bronxblue got here first and more succinctly.
but since we don't know who actually made it, the opportunity to alter that classic line was too good to pass up.
Are you the one who dislikes the use of Photoshop as a verb? I nearly did just that, but then thought better of it.
isn't selling state owned property some kind of crime that would be punishable as a misdemeanor or fellony? i get that the rings and pants are fuzzy territory, but its seems like the shoulder pads are owned by the athletic dept which is run by the university which is run by the state. if someone was selling office supplies out of the state capitol, i would think someone could press charges.
I've seen very high profile professional athletes come visit extremely ill children at the hospital with no fanfare whatsoever, and to all appearances on their own volition (Dany Heatley, for one). And I've seen professional athletes who plainly view extremely ill children as a useful backdrop to show said athletes as well-rounded and all-around good guys.
I don't know which camp Tressel falls into, but the mere fact that an athlete or coach shows up and signs an autograph at a hospital tells us precious little about their decency. BWS gets this right.
Look Goodell, this is what happens when you don't let the players practice - they get ahold of Photoshop and create memes! Ray Lewis warned you about this, and you did nothing!
My "walmart wolverine" fandom is offended by that picture.
looks to be a fine time to laugh and revel in the countless opportunities for satire, sarcasm, and fun at OSU's expense. Man, they sure make it easy and the dust hasn't even settled yet. This Tressell/Walmart pic is classic. Keep 'em comin'
I've yet to hear a good explanation (despite the efforts of Kirk Herbstreit and many others) of how Tressel burying the information about his players' violations was for the good of the players as opposed to himself. Maybe I've forgotten the examples where good kids were destroyed by being disciplined for their violations -- I can only seem to remember the examples of kids responding to discipline by vowing to do better in the future and turning their lives around.
I am getting around Columbus from the more "sophisticated" buckeye fans is that Tressel treated these kids mistakes like a father would treat his own kid's mistakes. For example, if you found out that your son was smoking weed, you would "protect" your son by not turning him into the police, and instead discipline him at home by grounding him.
That's the current buckeye company line.
My response is that style of parenting is fine and all, but it's broken when your internal punishment isn't strict enough to discourage future or repeated bad behavior, a la, Clarrett, Troy Smith, Pryor, and the 27 other tatoo recipients.
So, while their company line is logical, it does not work in practice, at least under Tressel.
Can they point to any examples of players getting "grounded"? Players are disciplined all the time for unspecified "violations of team rules" -- I must have missed where that was done to the Tat 5 (or is it 28)?
I think that the SI article had something in there about a player getting a parking ticket and Tressel "disciplining" him by having him write 500 words about some ethical virtue, and then the ticket went away. I know that is not really discipline, but rather a favor, I think that is the buckeye logic.
The other major problem with their whole company line is that IT IS AGAINST THE RULES. Tressel is not their father - he is employed by the university as their head coach with duties of loyalty to his employer and the NCAA. Period.
The "Tressel's charitable acts aren't a big deal because all rich/famous people do charitable acts" argument doesn't work for the same reason the "improper benefits/oversigning/etc aren't a big deal because all (SEC) schools provide improper benefits/oversign/etc." argument doesn't work. NCAA violations will always be NCAA violations and charitable acts will always be charitable acts.
Depending on the values being assessed - are we talking about the charitable acts' impact on the charity/recipient? Or are we talking about the charitable act as an endorsement of the donor/celebrity's morality/values/commitment to social good - we can certainly evaluate charitable acts. Look at environmental supporters/foundations and compare against BP - both likely made an impact on wildlife in the gulf of Mexico, but do you consider them equivalent?
I see this issue for OSU fans as the dichotomy of wanting the saint in the community and the warrior on the sidelines, and having them be the same guy. Tressel brought them everything they wanted on the field, and they wanted to believe that he was able to do it with the class not existent in an Urban Meyer or Nick Saban.
These revelations have shattered that worldview, so they're clinging to everything they can to believe that they still had the best of both worlds, and it will never be this good again.
That, and it's also become much more convenient to wrap this whole thing up and lay it at Pryor's feet, providing it doesn't get stuck under the gas pedal of his newest car.
A lady on the streets, but a freak in the bed?
That's technically referred to as the "Virgin-Whore Complex" or something like that.
I am not saying anything about JT's moral values. He's obviously, on some level, a dirtbag. I'm not a fan at all. I'm just saying, ultimately, if die-hard OSU fans want to trumpet his charitable contributions, whatevs. JT did a lot of charity. One dirty aspect of his life doesn't necessarily taint the good. I think Lebron James is a self-absorbed, unlikeable dude, but I'll accept that he does a lot of good with his time and money. Bad people can do good things.
to me how many delusional media members feel that Tressel resigning has stopped the problem. I heard an interview with Bobby Carpenter this afternoon and he claimed that the players being suspended and Tressel resigning was enough punishment. Colin Cowherd was in full agreement but neither seem to realize that if the compliance department was doing their job, this would never have snowballed into what it as become. The NCAA relies on Universities to police themselves and this is a solid example of a university that only cared about the bottom line, not how the program was run.
they'd likely have collapsed from exhaustion.
It's supposed to work like it does in the example above: something's questionable and they harass you until you fix it. What happens at a school where they try to harass you and you say "suck it, this is how I do things"?
It surprises me, though, that Cowherd isn't supporting more punishment. The longer this stays in the limelight, the easier it'll be for him to find stupid stuff to say on his show. He can just start every day with "Ohio State: is the NCAA too harsh? Go."
asking too much to expect 63 guys who're paid to look after 85 kids to look after 85 kids, especially when the demigod (woops, I mean Head Coach) is the one instigating all of the rule breaking. "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!"
For the record, I think Jim Tressel acted like a slimeball with the way he's handled things at Ohio State.
HOWEVER, the line of reasoning regarding his charitable works seems like a double standard. Regardless of the motives or reasoning behind his charity work and visits to a hospital, it's still a good thing. He has probably brightened the day of thousands of sick children and family members. The good that he's done shouldn't just be swept away because now he made a boo-boo (or several boo-boos).
Just like everything, Tressel's accomplishments and actions should be kept in perspective. Tressel has done many good things in his life. He's made some mistakes. I don't know whether he's mostly good or mostly bad, but I'm also not willing to disregard all the good stuff he's done now that a bunch of bratty 20-year-olds have broken the rules under his watch. Tressel lied and did his part to bring these punishments down, but these bratty athletes did their parts, too.
my son was at that hospital, and he was very sick like all of the kids there, and while having a buckeye come and visit wouldn't have made things any better, supporting sick kids is a good deed, irrespective of motive, and you can't discount that.
I largely agree, though I did find it interesting in the SI article he allegedly rigged raffles so that star athletes/prospects would win. That is tantamount to stealing in my book, and if true goes beyond simply "wanting to win" and definitely brings into question his motives for his charity work.
My feeling is that while Tressel's charitable works should not be degraded on their face, holding them up as an example of his probity is both simplistic and merely an attempt to obfuscate his ilegal actions. It's tantamount to someone saying they cheated on their spouse but they also take really good care of the kids. Sure, the kids benefitted, but it doesn't minimize the damage done by the infidelity.
All the blame should not be foisted on Tressel - sure these are college kids, but college kids are definitely capable of understanding the legality of their actions (and it seems like they understood what they were doing was wrong) - but his relative morality off the field should not be used a counterweight for his clear moral impropriety with regards to his team and its players' actions.
My perception is that people aren't saying that JT's charity work somehow makes him better than anyone else; it seems as though it's one-part coping mechanism for Buckeye fans... a way of convincing themselves that they're carbon-neutral because Tressel makes up for the bad by having done so much good. It also seems as if it's one-part justification for deluding themselves into thinking that his ouster is due to one error in judgment as opposed to a systematic pattern of misbehavior.
Buckeye logic says that's the reason he should stay as coach. He did things that caused for him to not be the coach, but that doesn't mean he can't still be charitable and a good person in society. Being a football coach and being charitable aren't mutually exclusive. He can still visit sick kids.
Which brings up an interesting hypothetical: Tressel could stay in the Columbus area and still be a public figure. People *LOVE* him that much, here.
If he continues being a charitable person even now when he's no longer in that position of prestige, that would go a long way...
like everything else he's f'ing up these days, he couldn't quite get his colors right.
At least those girls got communications PhDs for the video.
And for this, I thank you.
Visit the parking lot at Schembechler Hall and you will notice assigned parking spaces for all the coaches and various other administrative staff. IN THE SAME PARKING LOT are all the players cars. It would be virtually IMPOSSIBLE for a coach, other player, trainer, groundskeeper, visitor, or blind mouse to not notice a high profile player exiting an exotic car.
There's no way OSU or any other program doesn't know their players are driving around in fancy cars. They literally have to turn their head to not notice it.
It might go something like this:
"Welcome to Hell. Nice to see you've been given the corner suite on the concierge floor. Enjoy the view and the extra amenities (Hint: there are none. This is Hell). We've been here a while now, since it was revealed that a scumbag named Ed Martin enjoyed a special brand of charity work with our men's basketball team. The time since that revelation might be best described as our Lost Decade. We've also had The Horror, 3-9, 5-7, 1-9, etc. Recently, our fortunes have improved considerably, and it appears we might get to check out of our room, finally.
"If you don't mind, I'd like to give you a few words of advice, since you're new here. First, don't assume for a second that this isn't going to be bad. You're in Hell. See those poor old saps searching for mere table scraps? They're SMU. Been here for a long, long time. No one pays any attention to them anymore. They stopped getting calls and visits from family shortly after they got here. I'm not saying that'll be your fate, but since your fate isn't entirely decided yet, anything is still possible.
"Second, don't be like those screaming toddlers over there in the corner throwing the Cardinal Red and Gold blocks. Those are the Trojans. They're still in denial. Don't be like them. Accept your fate. Understand you'll be here for an indeterminate period of time and learn to live with it. I didn't say you have to like it, but you'll make it worse for everyone the more you bitch and moan, so STFU.
"Third - and this is just between us - you really need to come to terms with what brought you to this Failure Pile in a Sadness Bowl (SixZero: Thanks, that was an epic embed). Think about it: you the fans, your program, your coaches and players put a giant asterisk on a decade worth of the Greatest Rivalry in Sports. No one is to blame for this but you. Expect that this will continue to have an impact on the game for years to come. How long is anyone's guess.
TL; DR Version:
"You royally f-cked up The Game all on your own. You're in Hell and deserve every minute of it."
our period in hell apparently includes an NC?
It really wasn't that long ago when you couldn't go on the internet without finding something bad written about Michigan. (One dong punch after another). Oh how the times have changed.
I hope he's not in the theft prevention department!
Is there anyone still pining for Les Miles over Hoke?
Suddenly, shoplifting at this particular store is up 87%.