WAY OT - Cedar Point torture chamber
Today I truly grasped my age as I chaperoned a class of 8th graders to Cedar Point. The last time I was there was when I was in 8th grade. Oh my, how things have changed.
I used to consider myself a fan of roller coasters. Uh......not so much anymore.
The guy who invented Top Thrill Dragster needs to die. That's not a ride.....it's a modern day Iron Maiden. I stood near the 400+foot tower and thought, "NFW! I'm not doing that!" But I had another dad with me (a guy I coached football with) and I simply couldn't wimp out. We waited nearly an hour in line.....and every time I watched another "dragster" launch itself towards the menacing skyscraper, a little piece of me died inside. I talked to kids in line to "get their story" and watched as women and grandparents alike flew past us towards the platform, laughing and cheering and loving the experience. I tried to draw strength from them, but it was futile. The moment of my peril was at hand.
It was our turn to embark onto the platform and into a car. My heart was literally pounding harder and faster than it ever has in my life. I thought for sure I was gonna have a heart attack......or at least an aneurysm. My friend was laughing at me and telling me that "we're at the point of no return buddy. Hang on."
"Thanks @hole" :lol:
We sat in that car for what seemed like eternity, watching the two dragsters in front of us propel themselves to a fiery, blurry death. Now it's our turn and I'm frantically looking for a park employee to shut down the ride and get me the hell off. I couldn't believe I was feeling like this, but I'm at DefCon 5 and this isn't an exercise.
"Hands down, head against the head rest"
"Hands down, head against the head rest"
These CAN'T be the last words I hear in my lifetime, can they?
Then the sound system blared the revving dragster motor and I'm ready to hand my soul over to the Lord. There was a slight hesitation of the brakes and then..........................
"H O L Y S & # + !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" :shock::HELP:
At that moment I realized I never want to race funny cars or fly jet planes. I want my mommy.
By the Grace of God, we didn't fly off the top of the coaster and land somewhere in Lake Erie.
I've never had the notion to get down on my hands and knees, thank God, and kiss the earth..........until today.
Generally, I get a little nervous on rides but enjoy the experience after it's over. Not this one. I will be haunted by this ride for days and perhaps even years. The site of that 400foot tower is permanently etched into my brain and as I sit here and visualize it, my stomach jumps up into my throat.
I can safely say that's the last time I will visit Cedar Point in my natural lifetime.
Defcon 5 is for safety. Defcon 1 signifies imminent attack.
Hear John Candy's voice from National Lampoon's "Vacation" when I read this?
I think you approached the ride with the incorrect mindset.
The thrill of the Top Fuel Dragster is pretty much unmatched in the midwest. It really helps to keep your arms up all the way around. The second or third pass you really start to enjoy the different elements of the ride
The wait
The accerelation
The are we going to make it over the top
And finally straight down we go,
I have been in line for many hours with my middle school and now senior in HS :( daughter and have never seen anyone fall out, in fact my daughter's great hope for the ride is to be one of the cars that does not quite make and comes down backwards and you get a two for one,
The ride I can no longer deal with is the Magnum 500 - last time I rode it I thought I was going to break my thighs.
When the Magnum first opened it was a very smooth ride. Since then it has gotten to the point where I will never ride it again. It is very sandy on the point where the Magnum stands. Maybe the pilings are sinking into the ground and causing the steel to bend.
I was at Cedar Point the summer that the Magnum first opened ('89). As I was about to get in line, they shut it down because people were complaining about head and neck injuries. I think they beefed up the padding on the shoulder bar to address.
I do not recall any severe vibrations in 89. Of course I was much younger then. I will say there is a clear difference between the Magnum and the Millenium. The last time I rode the Magnum I swore I would never ride it again. Then we rode the Millenium the same day and it was silky smooth by comparison.
The Magnum dong-punches you. Literally. It hurts now.
however I have given up the Mean Streak. The dong punch is similiar to watching Steven Threet throw a backwards pass. It sticks with you for a long time.
got stuck on the first hill of Mantis for 20 minutes once. we limped around the park the rest of the day.
It is sinking, and progressively gets rougher. The Millenium is much smoother.
you said.
we have that little arrow pointing up on the right side.
If you check the times on my earlier post you can see TIMAAAY said nearly the exact same thing I did. Only he beat me by a few minutes. My post appeared above his because he did not use the reply button while I did. Basically my positive response to TIMAAAY was an acknowledgment of his mad typing skills.
Yeah I definitely agree about the Magnum. I liked it when I went when I was younger, but I went this year and it killed my thighs and the people I rode it with all agreed.
You sir are wrong. The ONLY reason to keep your arms up on a roller coaster is to enhance the weightless effect on drops. It's completely useless on the Top Thrill Dragster until you hit the top of the ride, and even then the effect is minimal since you're facing the drop instead of really rising out of your seat.
Whenever I see somebody on that ride waiting to take off with their arms up I think to myself, "F*ckin' amateur. I hope he/she gets his/her shoulders dislocated."
Then again, by the time I'm on the platform I've heard the goddamn, "BABY I'M READY TO GOOoo.. ON THE ROOFTOP SHOUT IT OUT. BABY I'M READY TO GOOoo.." so many effing times that I'm in a very dark place and already predisposed to wishing ill on everyone.
So hey. As Digital Underground said, Doowutchyalike.
I rode on it when I was 19.... NEVER AGAIN. Forget breathing when you take off. The ride is too fast for your lungs to catch any air.
....you wouldn't like my job. I'm a student naval aviator in the primary phase of naval flight school and most of us flight students down here at NAS Corpus Chirsti would love that feeling to be part of our daily lives when our F-18 Super Hornets are shot off the carrier. It's not for everyone, but for us thrill seekers, it's the ultimate.
Carrier night landing = pucker factor
That's pretty awesome. You better work on your "You've lost that lovin' feeling", haha. You gonna get to fly an f-35 anytime soon?
<--- World's biggest baby around roller coasters. DO NOT WANT.
It's the spinny rides I can't handle anymore. I'm generally good from noon until around 9-10pm now, at which point all of the greasy food and crazy rides start to catch up to me, then I start feeling a bit shaky. I'm getting old.
Still love Roller Coasters, but avoid spinning rides at all costs. Last time I rode a spinning ride was the only time in my life I've ever had a migraine.
One of those where you're in a centrifuge-type thing and the floor drops out. Only the third time in my life I even came close to being motion sick, and the only time on a ride.
Never. Do. That. Again.
should be officially classified as torture for the 30 years and over crowd.
i was always more tortured by waiting in those lines, stuck behind a 19 year old mullet guy with a mesh t-shirt, jean shorts and white high tops who is making out and groping some 14 year old girl with big bangs, braces, a bikini top and black jeans. He has ICP tattoos, she has 16 peircings in one ear cuz "MA WON'T LEMME GET INK'd!" Earlier in the day, he won her a giant panda bear using his JV basketball skillz and then they went on White Water Canyon and got all wet. Now they are standing in line in the 90 degree sun, smelling of that foul stagnant water, lugging their giant panda through heaven knows what kinds of filth and eating Sno-Cones that she feels "ARE TOO FUCKIN' COLD!"
those people probably have about 20 kids by now - God help us all.
for giving me the first hearty laugh of the day!
You alright man? We can talk later if you need to keep going. ;)
...why I hate amusement parks now. Co-sign on the spinny rides. I do still love roller coasters, but they aren't worth the lines, IME.
Top Thrill Dragster and Millenium Force are great experiences.
Cedar Point just bought King's Dominion near where I live and just built the Intimidator, a Millenium-inspired giga-coaster. Pretty cool ride apparently.
the crazy Cedar Point dancing guy? He sings to his iPod and dances the entire time in line and throws out a Ric Flair style "wooooooooooooooo" every so often. I caught him on opening day this year in the Maverick line. If you're familiar with the ride, the entire barn was "wooooo" ing back at him. Apparently the guy is not clincially insane, but just loves Cedar Point and singing to himself. You can catch him just about every weekend on either the Dragster, Millenium Force or Maverick. Here is an example...but there are TONS more on youtube:
Dragster is great. The only thing you have to worry about is becoming a human bug shield if you're riding at night. Oh, and having the train get stuck at the top kinds sucks too, but that doesn't happen too often.
There isn't much worse than being at the top, looking straight down into the spotlights and seeing the wall of bugs you are about to go through. You will be spitting out bugs for the next 20 minutes.
I'm pretty much right there with you, the difference being I wouldn't have stayed in line.
However, I will rock the Mine Ride all day long, only taking occasional breaks to chill on the swing ride on the Frontier Trail.
Because I like to party.
Top Thrill Dragster is simply an unmatched experience. It sucks that the ride is so damn short, waiting in line for over an hour for 22 seconds of ride time is a little disheartening. But holy hell is it a crazy 22 seconds.
Millennium is the shit. I love that ride.
I'm still a little freaked out by the Sky Wheel - a very cool double Ferris Wheel at the front of the park on the Main Midway. I believe taken down around 1980 or '81.
That was a cool ride, then it was right on the the Fun House, with the upside down room.
Good times.
MF is the best. TTD and the Maverick are awesome too.
the maverick is amazing
hands down
The East-Coast version is Kingda Ka in New Jersey. To maximize the experience mix in dehydration, a late lunch of a greasy hot dog, and a 90-minute wait in the hot sun. My daughter and I did that, and she lost said lunch straight after. That's a bonding moment. But, for a real death defying experience you can't beat the rickety, wooden rollercoaster in Detroit's now defunct Edgewater Park.
I was there a few years ago and the TTD got stuck at the top for about 10 minutes or so... they had to send a maint guy up there to free the carts up... now that is nuts!!!! Check out the link below, someone took a video of it and posted it on YouTube
If you can wait a few more minutes, get in the FRONT seat of Top Thrill Dragster. It's worth the extra wait. Its better in the front row. I still can't get the song "Ready to go" by Republica after I ride TTD.
Mavarick is a bad boy too. Its so smooth. Now the worst ride is the Corkscrew. That one hasn't aged well. Its so rough, uncomfprtable, and its not thrilling compared to the new rides.
that and the Maverick and Millenium are incredible. But the Gemini is my oldie, but goodie pick. I still have a blast racing those coasters, high fiving people, and making very loud, derogetory comments about Ohio.
the MANTIS.
Why does that bike seat need to be up in my business and why do I have to stand?
Luckily a worker got it for me... It was a Reebok Classic!
TTD is the shiznit, but the Maverick is 100% pure Columbian awesome. Last summer, I managed to finagle my wife into riding it. She does not like roller coasters, but she agreed only because it was not as high as the Dragster or Millenium Force. The entire time we were in line she kept asking me if it was scary and what did it do. The practical joke I am, I told her that it was pretty tame, and that she had nothing to worry about. Throughout the ride my ride shoulder took a pounding from her fists, and I was called everything but a child of God. My favorite part was when rthe ride comes to a stop in the tunnel. She asked me if it was done, and I told it was, then VROOOOM! Man, I can't wait until August.
you should be excited you didn't get a rollback, in which case you would have gotten launched a second time. =)
Man I love that place