Michigan 28, Maryland 0
[Patrick Barron]
Maryland thought they were getting a primetime showdown on national TV; what they got instead was a lesson in what being a member of the Big Ten is really about. Michigan is going to walk into your building, change the start time to just after breakfast, eat you for lunch, and be home in time for supper.
Facing a slate sky whipped up by the tendrils of Hurricane Joaquin, the Harbaugh 1.4 Wolverines left De’Veon Smith warm in his Ann Arbor stable, content to use the same strategy that got the Harbaugh 1.2s past UNLV: probe the inside, pop a thing or two when it’s time to get some points, and wait for your defense to throttle the will to football out of a vastly inferior opponent.
Growing up we called this a “Schembechler win,” and we got one, but not before a first half and change that conjured memories of a far more recent former Michigan coaching tenure. From Maryland receiving the kickoff, the drives went punt, punt, interception, fumble, punt, fumble, interception, missed FG, punt, field goal, punt, punt, punt, field goal, punt, kneel out half, interception, punt, punt, interception.
At this point I asked Twitter if they preferred a recap of these proceedings or a 10-minute pasta recipe. Votes for the game did outscore Maryland, but only barely:
Retweet if you want the game recap to be about this game. Fav if you want it to be about this gnocchi in creamy tomato sauce I just made.
— Seth M. Fisher (@Misopogon) October 3, 2015
How to Make Seth’s Creamy Gnocchi
Start by pre-heating the oven to 400 and shove the meatballs in (if you want to hurry this up just nuke ‘em for 4 minutes), then put the water on to boil. In another pan I pour some olive oil, balsamic vinegar, sriracha, and—here’s the trick—a tablespoon of peanut butter. You melt down the peanut butter on medium until you have a nice brownish sauce. Add garlic too if you’re into that. When the water boils put the gnocchi in and turn down the heat.
They’ll cook pretty fast then pop to the surface, whence you’ll remove them with a slotted spoon to your saucepan. Once all the gnocchi is moved over, pour in a half a cup of 2% milk and your tomato sauce, turn the heat up to medium-plus, and cook it down until it’s getting thick-ish. Turn off the heat and let it cool until your meatballs are ready. Plop those on top, followed by your preferred level of parmesan, and you’re in business.
At this point you may relocate back to the living room to find that Michigan has scored on a screen to Drake Johnson and a jet sweep to Jehu Chesson, Maryland’s starting quarterback is on the bench, and Willie Henry is getting free hits on Daxx Garmin. Salt away with Drake Johnson runs and serve cold.
The one really bad thing for Michigan is Mario Ojemudia left the game with an apparent Achilles injury. I thought he had his best day as a Wolverine today; if it was indeed his last that is a huge loss.
The rest of your takeaways: Maryland is bad at football and should feel bad. Michigan is excellent at defense and should feel excellent. Rudock is turning out to be fine in a Krenzel sort of way. De’Veon Smith probably really is Michigan’s best back. And while there’s still plenty of 2014 left to Harbaugh out of this team, you can start believing that both Mr. Smith and MICHIGAN will be back for Homecoming.
Great coaches instill an unequivocal belief in their team that they can & will no matter the circumstance! These boys believe! #GoBlue
— Devin Gardner (@devingardnerXCI) October 3, 2015
October 4th, 2015 at 3:33 PM ^
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October 3rd, 2015 at 7:53 PM ^
October 3rd, 2015 at 8:05 PM ^
Yup, I was fairly underwhelmed by the offense in the 1st half, but saw MSU and OSU have their own issues they have to deal (and that's not only with this week).
Plus I oddly feel good to see Michigan win these games likes this while having a noticeable room for improvement, which I believe can be filled with this coaching staff.
October 3rd, 2015 at 9:12 PM ^
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October 3rd, 2015 at 8:50 PM ^
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October 4th, 2015 at 8:11 AM ^
October 4th, 2015 at 9:09 AM ^
If Michigan manages to win its next two games, then people will say "Northwestern was just a flash in the pan and MSU is down this year--beat Ohio State and then you might have something."
October 4th, 2015 at 10:36 AM ^
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October 4th, 2015 at 3:18 PM ^
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October 5th, 2015 at 4:30 AM ^
I can see it now...Michigan is 6-1 and some columnist at the Freep is going to write about how down the B1G is this year, how Michigan's defense still hasn't shut down a good offense, how the passing game looks terrible, how Michigan's wins say a lot more about its opponents than Michigan, and how Ohio State will be the real test that will expose Michigan as the saddest 10-2 team there ever was.
You don't have to believe the haters to avoid believing the hype. You just have to believe your own eyes. And my eyes tell me that Michigan is a pretty damned good football team. This defense is something truly special, and Harbaugh has enough up his sleeve that this offense, despite having a below-average quarterback, finds a way to put points up on the board week in and week out. This team is legit.
October 4th, 2015 at 10:16 AM ^
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October 3rd, 2015 at 8:12 PM ^
October 3rd, 2015 at 11:55 PM ^
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October 4th, 2015 at 1:20 AM ^
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October 3rd, 2015 at 9:02 PM ^
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October 3rd, 2015 at 11:01 PM ^
He might be enough to beat everyone outside of OSU, but their defense is legit.
All that said, our defense will keep us in every game from here on out.
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October 4th, 2015 at 12:47 AM ^
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October 4th, 2015 at 3:14 PM ^
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October 3rd, 2015 at 9:03 PM ^
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Why the peanut butter?
October 4th, 2015 at 10:18 AM ^
Thickening agent. It makes the sauce stick to the pasta.
October 3rd, 2015 at 10:26 PM ^
Sorry doing all the superstitious stuff I can to keep this train rolling. Thank the Rudock scramble to me and my 10 year old who went back to "our own couch seats" for a little extra luck. Well played.
October 4th, 2015 at 1:50 AM ^
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October 4th, 2015 at 7:37 AM ^
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October 4th, 2015 at 10:10 AM ^
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October 4th, 2015 at 9:00 AM ^
but more football, fewer recipes.
:)
October 4th, 2015 at 5:50 PM ^
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October 4th, 2015 at 11:09 AM ^
Start working at home with Google! It's by-far the best job I've had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this - 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, go? to tech tab for work detail
October 4th, 2015 at 6:16 PM ^
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October 4th, 2015 at 3:04 PM ^
Good to see a win on the road. Would have struggled mightily under the last two staff's. Dominating performance over a inferior opponent. Mario was in on a lot of action this game until injury. He will be missed. Derrick Green looks like to me he's running with more purpose. Good thing we had Drake Johnson today. Ty in my opinion is fourth string. That poofy haired fullback is a weapon. Defense looks sooooo good. Morgan was flying around the field. Good to see the Harbaugh brother's having a good time. Go Blue!!!
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