Was standing in line at Wendy's and a gigantic dude walked in. He leans over to his friend, serious as a heart attack, and says, "Triple cheeseburger...that's the biggest they got?"

Years ago I saw a woman, every bit of 3 bills, eating a plate of whipped butter and sour cream at a Shoney's. It was horrifying.

My roommate, however, is very into Bar Rescue (he and his boyfriend are actually watching it right now as I type this) so I've seen enough horrible bar situations to feel as though I have experienced at least one.

this guy went up to pay the bill at the register, got into a tiff with the cashier and proceeds to knock the Lions Club mints off the check out stand and halfway across the restaurant. Someone from his own table goes flying up to the counter and starts landing haymakers on the mint chucker (he becomes known as the "defender of the mints" to me and my buddy). A fight then breaks out between people at their table.  Surrouning diners get hit with food as the tables/chairs get jostled about.  These patrons then join the mele and about 25-30 people end up spilling into the parking lot in an all out brawl.

My buddy and I watch in amazement as the entire restaurant (patrons and workers) follow this circus outside and form a ring around the combatants, much like a scene from Lion Heart.  We look at each other, quickly finish our food without saying a word and leave out the opposite entry way doors marking the only time in my life I ever pulled the dine and dash. 

About 15 years ago I took my three kids to lunch at Taco Bell and the guy in front of me in line was stoned out of his mind (imagine that).  He had a $20 dollar bill and was determined to spend each and every nickle on it for lunch leading to an extremely LONG ordering process as he would order stoner-style (give me one cheeeeeeeeseeeeee ennn-chaaaaa-laaaa-daaaaaaaaa), try and figure out how much he had spent and then how much he had left.

In the midst of this a very old lady (prolly in her 80's) came up to the same cashier screaming at him because she was SURE he had short-changed her a quarter.  So this 16 year old cashier had stoner-boy trying to figure out how much food he could buy for $20 and a very pissed off geriatic yelling at him over a quarter.

My kids all watched this with wide-eyed wonder as stoner-boy got three HUGE bags of taco-bell and stumbled off to try and eat it and probably decided to never take a job in fast food if they could avoid it.

Was getting ready to enjoy my Turkey Club and a big ass cockroach walked on our table. I tried to kill it but I missed and the fucker did a bungie jump off the side of the table and made a run for the kitchen. Grabbed the family and walked out. Felt bad afterwards that I didn't say anything to the other patrons. Still dry heave just thinking about it.

I watched the Rashad - Rampage 2010 fight at the Bdubs in Coldwater. A guy with Napoleon complex wearing a cutoff UFC shirt, throughout the first four fights, keeps blabbering on and on about how Rampage is going to kick some ass, Rashad sucks, etc. It made for an annoying evening. As the fight is winding down, and it's clear Rashad is going to win in a decision, the dude drops to his knees, almost in tears as everyone is hurling insults at him. He proceeds to get up, punch a hole between the dividing wall of the bar and main eating area, and then threatens to kick everyone's ass! He didn't make it far, as the 6' 4" 250 pound manager comes and grabs his shirt around the collar and proceeds to drag him out to a few people clapping and laughing. A poetic ending to a bad night. I haven't been back to a fight night at bdubs since.

This past weekend.   We decided to test out a northwoods (Wisconsin) bar/restaurant on a whim.  We had driven past it many times, and finally succumbed to its mystique.   It was a total dive, but that's OK with me.  I grew up in rural Michigan, so dive bars hold a special place in my heart.  

We had heard they serve pizza, so we asked for a menu.  No menu available.   They offered  thick and thin crust pizza.   My kids just wanted cheese pizza (they were getting a bad vibe).  No cheese pizza was available - only pepperoni, sausage, or deluxe.  That's when it finally hit me - they served frozen pizza.   I laughed inside, knowing many fine northwoods establishments serve piping hot frozen pizzas.   We gamely ordered a sausage thick crust and a deluxe thin.   Best damn frozen pizza I ever had, maybe because I downed it with two icy cold Pabst from the tap.  

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom...

I have no story, but this is an outstanding OT thread.  I am incredibly entertained--possibly becuase I'm on the last legs of a 70-hours billed work week--but nonetheless fantastically entertained.

and I ordered like 200 sliders and.... and... I forget the rest of the story.

The Necto on Liberty back then was called Chances Are, and at that time it had two or three floors above the dance floor. I was up on the third level with my GF having a beer, and on the level below us there were a couple of guys sitting at a table right up against the railing overlooking the dance floor. One of the guys was huge and thick, and looked stupid and really hammered as well. The GF and I are just minding our own business listening to the band when without any warning the big guy below us finishes his beer, and then throws the mug—it was a big heavy glass thing—at the band down below. Luckily he didn't hit anybody—a direct hit on somebody's noggin would have opened up a huge gash and probably a fractured skull to boot—but the mug crashed at the feet of the bass player and shards of glass went everywhere. The band missed a beat, and down on the floor many people realized that somebody had thrown the mug from an upper level, including the bouncers.

The bouncers were on high alert already, but then the meathand grabs his buddy's smaller beer glass and throws it down at the band. By that time the bouncers had ID'd the guy, and four of them come up ready for action. Needless to say the guy was not in the mood to go quietly, and it took all four of the bouncers to get the asshole out of there, but not before a few tables and chairs bit the dust. On my way out later I asked one of the bouncers who the guy was, and he said he was an MSU heavyweight wrestler who'd been in town for a match against UM.

After the Harbaugh "guarantee" game. The MGoWife (then girlfriend) and I went. Every place was like Star Wars Bar

i went into Pizza House around 9 pm one night with my wife and three of her friends. Our server proceeded to ignore us while he hit on a table full of sorority girls the entire team we were there. I had to get the manager after we waited 20 minutes for our drinks, 40 minutes for our food (no pizzas btw) and our food was served luke warm. He offered to give us a free desert. I decline and proceeded to tip the server 2 cents to show to appreciation for his "service".