A Sacrifice to the Football Gods, End the BPONE

if you were serious about it i'd offer up one of our cattle.  but first i'd give him a name like 'brutus' or 'buckeye'.   then we'd get serious about an old testament style sacrifice.  

How about sacrificing all the unabashed negative assholes on this board.

If you have an arguable opinion fine, but if you are doomsday everyday, be gone,

I bought two matching Michigan garden gnomes about 11 years ago. I’ve tried everything with them. Watching the game together, banishing them to the storage room, giving them a nice view from our bedroom window overlooking mountains and the lake, and yet nothing good have they brought me. They simply smile coyly, taunting me, mocking my suffering with their smugness. I will take them to a field, blow them up, and burn their remains. It is time. 

The pit is not complete.  Give it a couple weeks until we lose to a lesser team due to our gutted roster having to play a lesser team with revenge on its mind.  

1989-1992: 38-7-3

1993-1996: 33-16

1997-2000: 41-8

2001-2004: 37-13

2005-2008: 30-20

2009-2014: 29-22* (4-yr avg of 6 yr period)

2015-2018: 38-13 +/- 1

The only thing that is different is that Michigan cannot win a conference championship with a 10-2 regular season record. Otherwise, we are the 90s minus the only National Title Michigan has won since the 1948. Michigan has had a chance at the B1G Title, and a shot at the Playoffs twice in the past four years in the last week of the season. We are 0-2 in those situations, but whatever. That's not the end of the world. We are in the most productive 4 year period since 2000. Relax. 

We could use that jersey as an auction item at the UM Club of Greater Chicago Go Blue Gala this winter - all proceeds go toward scholarships for area students if that's the type of cause you're looking for!

If we could get the Ann Arbor Fire Department on board I am all for burning memorabilia on or around November 30 as a sacrifice to the football gods to win the [expletive] Game.  As to superstitions I have the following:

1.  This year watching UM in the same room as mom has resulted in a big fat L.

2.  A favorite UM sweatshirt (ripped, tattered and bleach stained) given to me by my favorite uncle the day of the Game 2011 could be happily torched if it would deliver a win.

3.  Years in which I pretend to workout like Ben Herbert is yelling in my ear the team gets 10 wins.  Years when I decide to drink a beer for every touchdown they do not.  

Pretty much it's clear.  I workout every day til Nov. 29, 2019.  Give moms a TV and march into a UM tailgate yelling like a viking with my favorite sweatshirt burning in my hand.  That should result in a win. 

I used to work with a lady who, when things got bad, would say, “time to swing the bloody chicken and howl at the moon.” We have reached that stage.

We must sacrifice Murderwolf to the football gods. He has always been here and we must remove this blight from their holy eyes.

I busted my foot last night so I'll consider it my sacrifice.

I must say, I've become an even bigger fan of Devin Gardner now. How the hell did he do what he did in this condition?

For me, the most BPONE thing to happen this year is the realization that if Tyrrell Pigrome throws a ball one foot to the left, Michigan is in the Big Ten Championship, regardless of the OSU game. Yes, losing to OSU is nauseating, but I would feel much better right now if Michigan had won the Big Ten Championship and OSU was playing in some dogshit bowl game. 

Even if I believed in this, I don’t think the football gods care about what we’d offer them. 

They are a masochistic bunch of fuckers who seem to pleasure themselves to watching Michigan suffer. I don’t know what you do to combat that. 

No..I'm going to stay until given a reason to leave. Cracking open the door and peaking outside did nothing for me this year.

Is everyone in perpetual hell? Seems like an overreaction... I like to watch a bunch of teenagers play a stupid, incredibly dangerous every game and I support the team that wears my favorite colors because they’re associated with my school. I’m 99% sure that basically no one on that team would have any interesting in hanging out with me, ever. Literally nothing I do can help the team win or lose, so I don’t get personally upset when they lose the game, but I’ll always enjoy having a nice beer, some good food, and watching the game. We went 10-2, won every home game decisively, and have an excellent recruiting class coming in. Oh no, we’ve lost so many to Ohio state! Who gives a shit? They’ve been OBVIOUSLY the better team every year sans 2006, 2011, 2016, and 2018. Every single one of those games we lost was on the road, and we should’ve won 2016. Do you think if they were in Ann Arbor we’d have lost them all? You guys take this stuff too personally, just enjoy it, it’s a silly game 

I will quit beating off twice in Sunday.   This Sunday.