MSU 2023: Epic Schadenfreude

Submitted by Decatur Jack on October 23rd, 2023 at 4:28 AM

Here are some of the best schadenfreude (Spartyfreude?) comments I could find, copy and pasted here for posterity and your enjoyment. Obviously if anyone has any more, feel free to add them to this thread. (Quick note: As usual I'm limiting it to text comments as these are easier to copy and paste, but there are definitely some hilarious gifs and memes posted out there.) Anyway, without further ado...

Beers are cracked
Vibes are high
East Lansing is the best city in the world
Beat Michigan

"It's not over. It'll never be over." -Coach Mark Dantonio

Started drinking

Are they actually having NBC trying to defend Michigan sign stealing?

How does UM find the douchiest most punchable QBs

Fuck NBC talking about our guys plea deal to the ridiculous and unprecedented charges

I already want to punch this play by play dude

NBC why you say nice things about michigan? they are SCUM!!!

I am once again begging Dantonio to stuff Hazleton into a locker and take over the defense

Michigan is so good....damn
No, we're that bad and they still haven't played anyone of significance
No we just suck lol, nobody in the B1G is that good this year

That’s game. Need to just keep it respectable now

Fire it all into the sun

How did Tucker manage to hire and retain not one, not two, but three incompetent coordinators

We are getting steam rolled. Saddest part of my life

Hire Meyer now

fuck why is nbc still talking about the goddamn tunnel!

"He was involved in the tunnel incident from a year ago" fuck you Noah Eagle

Why is our offense the worst fucking thing on the planet? we have guys, Jesus Christ, sick of this mother fucking bullshit

good lord nbc loves stroking harbaughs cock dont they

"Handled it with nothing but grace" are you fucking kidding me? Must be nice being able to break the rules and have everyone worship you for it.

It’s almost as if they know what plays are going to be run before they are run

Every time we run an offensive play, they are in the exact perfect spot, as if they somehow know where we are going

Zero pride or fight idk why I'm surprised after the chokes the last two weeks. We should jettison the football program and go join the Big East

Yeesh. This is like Tecmo Bowl.

Hazelton hasn't come close to stopping an offense since he was hired. This is a fucking embarassment and i want everyone, gone, all the way everyone

Gonna watch the -48 rushing yard game highlights at the half to remind me of who we were and what we can be (someday)

Hope Izzo lays 1,000 on these fuckers

10second run off was our best defense that entire half

Keep bitching fucking cheating dickhead

I might be dead at the end of this game

scum! they are scum! why cant the world see that

I can't believe any recruit would want to play for that crybaby ass

Michigan is so damn good and we're jealous, admit it

the leading receiver for us at the half was the fucking dog catching frisbees

We should have said we didn't want to play. The cheating scandal would have been magnified and done more damage than we could have ever hoped for on the field

I am glad we are wearing black because I am mourning our football team.

fuck michigan! I hope jj mccarthy gets chlamydia!

I am gonna root against the Spartans the rest of the game, fuck us, we don't care. i hope no one is here next seaon, zero coaches, nutritionists, strength coaches, analysts, athletic department

can we please get a stop? i'm fucking crying now

It’s going to be a while before we get to watch Michigan State play meaningful football again. This feels like Bobby Williams levels of sheer hopelessness.

They're going for 70

Get izzo on the sideline already!

This won't help us not be last in the B1G by a mile in penalties

Cut to the post-game presser. Harlan...have you lost this team?

I will refer to this as the game that was vacated

This is the worst MSU team of all time, to let the highest paid coach do this to us only because he checked all of the woke fucking check boxes, i am an alum, i am leaving

How many ways can we possible embarrass ourselves?

It is time to say that Harbaugh can go fuck himself! I hate everything!

God fucking damn it, this fucking michigan team is not supposed to do this to our guys. we are spartans why is there no fight no heart

This is the worst timeline I have ever been on

it's all bullshit man, we are msu. i cant wait until those fuckers get fucked in the playoff

What Michigan did to us this game is far less offensive than what we have done to ourselves the past two years. Total shambolic laughingstock. What a disaster.

can a ref just stick a finger up harbaughs butt please, i'm sure he needs a good scratchin by now

Worst MSU team in history. Team really just has no fight or heart.

GOD DAMN IT WE NEED A MERCY RULE

I'm going to have a stroke watching MSU football

Fuck Dantonio for leaving the program in shambles
Fuck MSUs admin for hiring Tucker and giving him that extension
Fuck the current coaches that are left that don’t give a fuck

More pictures of Hitler on the scoreboard than points. Beyond embarrassing.

good fucking lord i can't believe this bullshit

Congrats Barnett for owning the worst passing defense performance and home loss in school history you useless grifter....

Seriously Allen Haller should be fired for the Tucker Extension, promoting Barnett and letting Hitler make an appearance at the stadium.

It's so imperative they get Urban Meyer and HOF coach who can just be left alone like Izzo because everyone in the administration of MSU is a clown.

These coaches are so bad it's going to make the hire even more difficult. $15M a year for Urban get it done or MSU is DEAD.

Worst night in the history of Michigan State football for so many fucking reasons

This program is gonna be shit for the next like 4-5 years at least.

Well we only lost because they cheated

Urban Meyer. $20 Million a year. Offer it now.

I can not WAIT until those scUMmers get buttfucked by us EVERY YEAR like they damn well deserve to! spartan for life, spartan dawg!

if this loss does not make you want urban meyer then i don't know what will

FUCK YOU NBC! FUCK YOU HARBUGH! FUCK ALL OF YOU MICHIGAN PRICKS!

why didn't we stop them from stealing our signs? when will this program get out of its own way? god i hate this shit so god damn much

Ok, here's the deal. We're going to win every game against scUM for the next ten years.

I just don't understand why any recruit would ever want to go to UM. It's like, they're terrible, and cheaters

we need to make way more spartan babies. get on that shit!

srsly if ur not raising ur kids to root for msu then ur a straight up traitor to the state

I am not happy. This is complete BULLSHIT. Who said that scUM was allowed to walk into Spartan Stadium and do this? NO ONE! Get your fucking ACT TOGETHER guys! Stop spending time with your dumbass girlfriends and get in the fucking weight room!

Not sure if it was the game score or the 50 texts I got about Hitler, but at some point I crawled into a bottle of scotch and let mostly everyone know I was in a foul mood. Probably not great when you get a reply from your kids kindergarten teacher from 15 years ago asking "Who is this".

No pride...just waiting for the inevitable. I talked myself into us having a shot because we actually did kind of outplay Rutgers and Iowa for most of the game, but yeah just bigger/faster/stronger from the shoot last night.

Losing when you try your best is nothing to be ashamed of. That’s not what happened last night or the last several games. A handful of our players have tried despite their circumstances and I really hope they stay Spartans to help us get back to greatness.

I don’t ever want to see what happened last night again. I hope everyone in the MSU community wakes up to where we are as a program and at least get us competitive again. We need Mr Miagi to get us to eliminate the leg sweeping, cheating, pompous AF spoiled a$s brats down the road.

Why is anyone surprised? We have been a dumpster fire since 2016. KW3 gave us some hope but it was a flash in the pan because KW3 gave Tuggar the big contract. Tuggar then quit on us. Yesterday was an accumulation of failures for the past 10 years, save one great year from CMD and KW3. The BOT is nothing but a bunch of SJWs that do not care about MSU, they use it as a tool to push their twisted ideology.
The BOT and entire Leadership needs to be fired. You talk about pompous douche and the rich kids. That is exactly what the BOT and Leadership is. It is a Country Club for rich white people that push SJW ideology. They think they are doing a good job and pat themselves on the back. We only have ourselves to blame.

Someone please tell me ONE reason to watch one second of Spartan Football moving forward. What would happen if LITERALLY no one showed up for some of the games???

Urban looks good in green! Make it happen!

We need an MSU win so bad right now. Please hire Urban

Let's be honest, this program is a joke. Just hire Mike Valenti.

Drenasu

October 23rd, 2023 at 6:52 AM ^

It's like they didn't even see the NBC featured part of the game where their QB was running to the sidelines to get the play each time.  MSU did us a favor there, tbh.  We can't steal any signs if they don't use them and that was complete destruction on the field.

EGD

October 23rd, 2023 at 9:38 AM ^

I agree. Scotty Bowman used to have this tactic of finding weird stuff to complain about before a big playoff series.”The bench is too short” or “the boards aren’t bouncy enough” or whatever. Then sometimes the opposing coaches would take the bait and start worrying about whatever dumb thing Bowman was complaining about. Well obviously if you’re thinking about how long the bench is, you’re losing a bit of focus on the real task at hand. Bowman would laugh his way to the Stanley Cup.

Obviously this signs-stealing thing was not an example of Harbaugh purposefully raising a teapot tempest. But by reacting to it as they did, it may have had a similar effect on MSU.

blueheron

October 23rd, 2023 at 7:49 AM ^

Thanks, OP. My favorites:

... leading receiver for us at the half was the fucking dog catching frisbees ...

"Not sure if it was the game score or the 50 texts I got about Hitler, but at some point I crawled into a bottle of scotch and let mostly everyone know I was in a foul mood. Probably not great when you get a reply from your kids kindergarten teacher from 15 years ago asking "Who is this".

LSAClassOf2000

October 23rd, 2023 at 7:57 AM ^

"More pictures of Hitler on the scoreboard than points. Beyond embarrassing."

When a complete absence of points is not the worst thing that appeared on the scoreboard on Saturday evening, you most certainly off your game in ways that many other programs could only imagine, or at least in ways other programs have not been in ages. 

Hensons Mobile…

October 23rd, 2023 at 7:58 AM ^

I will refer to this as the game that was vacated

That made me laugh.

Why is anyone surprised? We have been a dumpster fire since 2016. KW3 gave us some hope but it was a flash in the pan

That guy is self-aware.

RGard

October 23rd, 2023 at 8:02 AM ^

Saving this for posterity.  I'll post it in other threads so everybody can find it.  Sorry if already posted, but this will never get old.

Wolverine Incognito

October 23rd, 2023 at 8:02 AM ^

I assume these aren’t all from the same person, but does anyone notice the cognitive inconsistency? Boo UM, they are unethical cheaters! We NEED to hire Urban Meyer (a man who covers up domestic violence allegations). That fan base is having some BIG cognitive dissonance. 

Boner Stabone

October 23rd, 2023 at 8:20 AM ^

I find it hilarious that they still think there is a possibilty of getting Urban Meyer.   They better be greatful if they can even get a high level MAC coach with the way things are going there right now.

Mr Grainger

October 23rd, 2023 at 8:25 AM ^

I want to tell them two things.

1. Urban Meyer has already said he doesn't want to coach again and 

2. If he does coach again it damn sure won't be at Michigan State.

St Joe Blues

October 23rd, 2023 at 8:29 AM ^

Wow! You can truly see how fandom can shade someone's perception of reality.

Hire Urban? Like he'd want to put up with everything Staee has going on now. Saban has already warned away any top-tier coach.

You should be better just because you're msu? Must be a recent fan.

Probably the most self-aware comment:

Michigan is so damn good and we're jealous, admit it

Wendyk5

October 23rd, 2023 at 8:44 AM ^

I'm still smarting from the Hoke/RRod years. I'm not going to bask in anyone's misery for too long, though the idea of paying Urban Meyer $20 mil a year is so utterly ridiculous for so many reasons that I did get a good laugh at that. 

bdneely4

October 23rd, 2023 at 9:18 AM ^

All of the comments are hilarious but two things stand out to me.  I love how they hate JJ mainly because he is so positive and nice.  He does some really nerdy things but is an absolute stud and it drives our rivals crazy.  The other thing is it is laughable that they act like Harbaugh is loved by officials and reporters.  That man probably has gotten screwed by more calls than any of our rivals since he has been at Michigan and to this day is still being crucified by the media for the stupid allegations.  The success of Harbaugh and our team the past few years has been 100% earned and people just cannot accept that for what it is.  I am going to be a sad fan if/when Harbaugh ever leaves because he has brought this program to a place that I have never experienced in my lifetime which is 40 years.  I love this team and coaching staff.  This year is setting up to be special!  Go Blue!!

Chuck Norris

October 23rd, 2023 at 9:18 AM ^

This is the worst MSU team of all time, to let the highest paid coach do this to us only because he checked all of the woke fucking check boxes, i am an alum, i am leaving

So Mel was a woke hire because... he's black? I guess?

J. Redux

October 23rd, 2023 at 12:07 PM ^

Occam's razor -- yeah, that's exactly what that means. :(

I can't believe I'm writing this, but Mel Tucker deserves better.  He was not hired or extended because he's black.  He was hired because MSU was desperate for a Power 5 coach who would take their money, and he was extended because he beat Michigan twice and he has a good agent.

mgoja

October 23rd, 2023 at 9:32 AM ^

This is hands down the best comment of all time:

  • Not sure if it was the game score or the 50 texts I got about Hitler, but at some point I crawled into a bottle of scotch and let mostly everyone know I was in a foul mood. Probably not great when you get a reply from your kids kindergarten teacher from 15 years ago asking "Who is this".

the Glove

October 23rd, 2023 at 10:34 AM ^

"fuck michigan! I hope jj mccarthy gets chlamydia!"

"More pictures of Hitler on the scoreboard than points. Beyond embarrassing."

These had me rolling.  

Don

October 23rd, 2023 at 11:24 AM ^

Two things stood out amongst the dumbassery on display:

1. The delusion that Urban Meyer is gettable.

2. "Probably not great when you get a reply from your kids kindergarten teacher from 15 years ago asking "Who is this"

truferblue22

October 23rd, 2023 at 12:26 PM ^

The number of times they mentioned that they think we somehow stole their signs is hilarious. 

I also find it interesting they said, "why would any recruit go there" as that's literally always the comment I make about msu.