MGoObituary - My Father
Those of you who follow me on social media likely already know this, and as for the delay in mentioning it here, I think I needed time to mull it over since this wound is still fresh. For those of you who are unaware, however, at 3:40 PM in the afternoon one week ago, my father passed from complications related to Parkinson's.
Why did I not rush to this place? Well, I thought I would reveal this to broader audience when I was ready to do that, and I am. His decline was slow, then rather rapid. He was initially diagnosed, in fact, in 2007. For the last 16 years, we've watched his decline - subtle, then not so much. Little by little, he left us before he left us, if that makes sense. In the end, he couldn't eat without help, dress himself, even use the loo by himself. The slow betrayal of the man by his body and faculties was a painful watch. It ended quite mercifully last Wednesday.
How is it related to things Michigan? Someone was going to ask, so I'll tell you - for as much as I credit my time at Michigan for being instrumental in making me, it was my father who was instrumental in providing the foundation which made me successful at Michigan. His ability to achieve, his obsession with knowing and studying, his rather eloquent and colorful way of expressing himself. If I didn't grow up with a perpetual student driving me around the bend, I may have fared less well. He was an automotive engineer by trade, but he knew a frightening amount about a wide variety of things. I have carried on this tradition - except for the part about being an automotive engineer. He would lament the industry as years went on, so I avoided it.
More importantly than all that, however, he is in many ways responsible for the person that I am. Now, I say that and some of you find me a detestable prick, so there's obviously a good and bad side to it all, but of course, there's room for interpretation. He was a direct man, not afraid to tell you in clear terms exactly what he though, good or bad. His expectation was that you would simply be a good sport about it all and either use the advice or not. I have chosen to carry that tradition forward in my life. I see the experience as a net positive. That's only one example, of course, of so many things for which I could rightly credit him. My obsession with orderliness, however, I get from my very German mother. He wasn't quite that.
Anyway, he is at rest now, and the rest of us must move forward. We shall do so quite proudly. I shall think of him on football Saturdays and all those times he sat there wondering how his son became engrossed in this.
I've watched both parents slowly fade before actually leaving, and it's a long road of grief. You have my condolences.
I am so sorry for your loss.
My Pops passed in 2015. I feel your sadness. Hopefully we get our perfect season this year and we can all celebrate with our Fathers, Mothers, and significant other people that share in our madness that is The Michigan Wolverines, whether they be in our living rooms or our spirits.
LSA, my sincere and heartfelt condolences to you and your family, may your father RIP!
Sounds like I would have liked your dad a lot, I love people who speak their mind and don't hide their true feelings, be well my brother!
Very sorry! You wrote: "Little by little, he left us before he left us, if that makes sense."
I went through this with my mom a few years ago and it makes perfect sense. Be well.
Sorry for your loss.
Very sorry to hear, my wife's great uncle just retired a couple years ago and not long after was diagnosed with Parkinsons, shit isnt fair.
Sorry for your loss - hope you will find solace on Saturdays watching Michigan play.
Sorry for the loss of your father
LSA I’m sorry for your loss. This was written so well and brought me, and I’m sure many others, to thinking about our fathers. May his memories bring you stories, laughter, and lessons that carry on.
August 9th, 2023 at 10:00 PM ^
Sorry for the loss. I am sure you have some fond memories of a man you clearly admired.
August 9th, 2023 at 10:00 PM ^
I lost my father rather unexpectedly on 12/26/2019, right before covid. I was actually rushing back, in the air from LA to Detroit when he died. I found out while taxiing to our gate at DTW.
That really flipped me upside down. I went on two solo trips to Australia then Costa Rica just before COVID shut down the world. I've moved several times since then and still not sure what's in store for me.
I'm really sorry for your loss.
"You live as long as the last person that remembers you"
Go blue.
August 9th, 2023 at 10:02 PM ^
Sorry for your loss. I lost my father early on. But I can still say, he had a big role to play in the person I am today and the person my kids are turning into.
August 9th, 2023 at 10:02 PM ^
I am very sorry for your loss. My dad passed suddenly in 1985. I was 14. The death of a parent leaves a hole in your life. I hope you can draw peace from him being at rest and I hope you had the chance to say all the things that needed to be said.
August 9th, 2023 at 10:06 PM ^
I'm sorry to hear about your loss, LSA. Wishing you and your family peace.
August 9th, 2023 at 10:06 PM ^
I’m sorry for your loss. What a beautiful write up. I imagine your father was immensely proud of you.
August 9th, 2023 at 10:16 PM ^
Prayers of peace and comfort for you and your family.
August 9th, 2023 at 10:20 PM ^
I am very sorry for your loss, LSA. We are currently dealing with my 82 year old father's decline. The twists and turns of life make me just shake my head and wonder what the heck it's all about.
All the best to you and your family.
August 9th, 2023 at 10:21 PM ^
I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You have my deepest condolences. You and your family will be in my prayers.
August 9th, 2023 at 10:23 PM ^
I'm very sorry for your loss.
August 9th, 2023 at 10:39 PM ^
My condolences to you, LSA.
What you have shared with us about your father is a beautiful and touching tribute to the man who.raised you. Trust me on this: he'll be with you and be a part of you forever---mine's been gone for 11+ years but so often seems to be with me yet.
August 9th, 2023 at 10:39 PM ^
I'm very sorry for your loss. The loss of a parent is something that you can tell yourself that you are prepared for it but that actual moment will still take one's breath away.
August 9th, 2023 at 10:44 PM ^
Very sorry for your loss. My father took the same road at the end, with the addition of Alzheimer's. It was tough to watch a guy who had been a real son of a bitch become docile and easy to get along with. I really missed the old him. Go figure. May you find solace in all of this.
August 9th, 2023 at 10:47 PM ^
Sorry to hear that.
My best wishes to you and your family.
August 9th, 2023 at 10:50 PM ^
Sorry for your loss, LSA. Everyone else on here too. I lost my dad a couple of summers ago. As I get older I think I am more like him than I did when I was younger. I decided that is OK.
August 9th, 2023 at 11:05 PM ^
Thanks for sharing all that you did. Sounds like a great man and a great relationship.
August 9th, 2023 at 11:14 PM ^
It's words like yours that spawn healing, for yourself & others. Thanks for sharing LSA, sorry for your loss & the drawn out painful process your father & your family went thru towards the end. To be human is so terribly strange & precious.
August 9th, 2023 at 11:34 PM ^
My deepest condolences and sympathy during this this difficult time. The truth is you never really get over such a loss, but you do get through it perhaps leaving a little bit of yourself behind. At the same, your Dad left a lot of himself behind in you and your children. That may not be much comfort now as you confront your grief, but with time I think you will recognize his presence all around you in many ways, all profound now matter how large or small.
As an aside, I can’t imagine how anyone on a bulletin board dedicated to a shared interest could find anyone else a “detestable prick”. We may have disagreements but in the grand scheme of life these things are the pettiest of issues. I would like to think no one takes this that seriously and that we are all part of a community of at least cordial acquaintances if not exactly friends on a first name basis. As I look at our fractured country I am dismayed to see so many people that view others with such distrust and contempt without ever having met one another much less having had a chance to have any meaningful exchange largely beyond knee-jerk social media reactions.
August 10th, 2023 at 12:09 AM ^
First off, I'm sorry for your loss. You seem to be handling it quite well, I hope I have the same wherewithal when my time comes.
How is it related to things Michigan?
I know there are some irascible people here but I'd be legitimately shocked if someone was callous enough to mention this.
August 10th, 2023 at 12:24 AM ^
My condolences, Lorne. Having lost both my parents in the past year, all I can say is that I'm sorry for your loss, and be grateful for your memories.
August 10th, 2023 at 12:54 AM ^
Love you, brother. He sure raised 1 hell of a son!
August 10th, 2023 at 2:16 AM ^
Sorry to hear about your Dad's passing. I lost my Dad 13 years ago. He drowned swimming laps and was only 70. Most of us probably have or had great Father's.
I wonder how many mgobloggers have passed away. I remember seeing active posters over 10 years ago who just seem to disappear. Not sure if they just got bored and left or got ban hammered, or may have died.
August 10th, 2023 at 2:42 AM ^
So sorry for your loss, LSA. At least the most painful times are over, and I hope you can cherish the memories.
My father passed away over seven years ago, at age 91, after a very full life. But I still feel the loss of his absence all the time.
I’m sure you made your dad very proud, and will keep on doing the things that made him feel that way even though he’s no longer here.
Un abrazo.
OA
August 10th, 2023 at 5:45 AM ^
may his memory be a blessing. be well, friend.
August 10th, 2023 at 5:52 AM ^
I'm very sorry for your loss
August 10th, 2023 at 6:01 AM ^
I am at the airport right now headed to Orlando to say goodbye to my mother. She’s been on the ICU/Recovery/Rehab wheel since February. She’s decided to stop and let the system failures proceed unchecked so we are gathering around her. It’s been a long 5 months.
Your remembrance of them is their legacy so pour one out/raise a glass (I know you don’t do that anymore and neither do I but it’s the only expression I can think of with my sleep-deprived mind). Talk to your grandchildren about them (when you get them).
What else can you do? Be there for your siblings and other surviving loved ones and let them be there for you I guess.
Wish you all the best Lorne.
August 10th, 2023 at 8:22 AM ^
My condolences to you. We share the exact same experience with our fathers slipping away to Parkinsons. My dad passed just prior to the covid outbreak - thankful for that because it was hard enough dealing with his condition as it was. My dad raised a house full of boys to be M fans. He went 2 years before dropping out and eventually finishing his degree 10 years later at Wayne State. When I graduated he felt so proud. And then all my kids became Michigan alum as well and he beamed with joy. For our fathers - GO BLUE!
August 10th, 2023 at 8:24 AM ^
My sincere condolences to a son who obviously loved his father.
August 10th, 2023 at 8:37 AM ^
So, so sorry for your loss, Lorne.
My dad is 70 and is going to Chicago ComicCon to participate in a panel. I am nervous because he is immunocompromised and this is his first mass event since before Covid. His view is that he has to live life. Whatever happens happens.
A strange twist on life. Now I worry about him as much as he does me. Parents are irreplaceable and we want to hold onto them forever. Alas, we can’t.
My heart hurts for you.You and your family have my deepest and sincerest sympathies.
August 10th, 2023 at 9:05 AM ^
LSA so very sorry for your loss. Lost my mom in a similar fashion and now my Dad ( UofM MSE) is elderly and alone, so I try to spend every minute I can with him.
Watched Robert Downey's movie about his dad's life and final years with Parkinsons ( Netflix "Sr.") and how an eccentric his father shaped his life. Totally recommend for anyone who has lost a parent to these terrible diseases or enjoys eccentric Indie type films.
As Ufer would say your dad is looking down and smiling from the Meechigan football Valhalla. He sounded like a great guy.
August 10th, 2023 at 9:06 AM ^
I'm sorry for your loss Lorne.
My father passed 15 years ago this coming March and there isnt a day that goes by that I dont miss him. Fortunately the pain fades but the longing remains.
August 10th, 2023 at 9:06 AM ^
I lost my father many years ago, and lost my mother two years ago. My heartfelt condolences for your loss. And, the lessons our parents teach us make us who we are.
Hoping you and your family find peace and remember all of the great times with your father.
August 10th, 2023 at 9:17 AM ^
GOD bless
August 10th, 2023 at 9:43 AM ^
Even if you see it coming, it is still very difficult. I wish you the best.
August 10th, 2023 at 9:44 AM ^
Sorry for your loss. My dad also has Parkinson's, which so far has progressed slowly. This may be the internet, but you are not alone.
August 10th, 2023 at 10:40 AM ^
LSA, sorry to hear about your loss. Thank you for sharing a little bit of your father with us.
May his memory be a blessing to you and your family.
August 10th, 2023 at 11:05 AM ^
"If I didn't grow up with a perpetual student driving me around the bend, I may have fared less well."
Loved this. My Dad is an engineer, but his curiousity of how things - any thing - worked was not limited to his engineering expertise (Civil and Mechanical). I got that from him, and it has served me well. I hope to pass it on to my kids.
Our parents shape us - whether well or not. Sounds like you were well-provided, well-shaped by your Father. May his memory be a blessing.
August 10th, 2023 at 11:08 AM ^
Very sorry for your loss. You and your family are in our prayers. May his soul rest in peace.
August 10th, 2023 at 11:18 AM ^
Sorry for your loss.
Ironically - much of what you mention, I feel the same way about my Dad.
Loss is always difficult - - Wishing you the best on moving forwards.
Go Blue.