Advanced box score. Bill Connelly has heard the college football internet's cries for box scores where sacks are counted against passing yardage and has posted various games from last week on twitter. Michigan-Army is one. The link has the big version. The bits that stood out other than three targets for Nico Collins are here:

That success rate is a full-on Lloydball turtle, and the explosiveness of Michigan's rushing game is horrendous, because Michigan spent the whole game playing 10 v 11. Michigan's rushing game was less explosive than a team that ran 29 fullback dives.

Also in this. PFF's weekly All Big Ten team has Mike Onwenu on the first team and Jalen Mayfield and Zach Charbonnet on the second team. So Michigan was less explosive on the ground than a team that ran 29 dives and half of their most important players on the ground (OL+RB) graded out at an All Big Ten level.

FWIW, Metellus, Hutchinson, and Kemp (second-team) made their defensive team.

[After THE JUMP: Don Brown things will make you feel better.]

Don Brown things. Don Brown's press conference probably has to be watched to be appreciated this week. Here he is going into detail on the goal-to-go stop:

Don Brown being......Don Brown pic.twitter.com/E6vLbtT5r2

— angelique (@chengelis) September 9, 2019

Brown on Jordan Glasgow:

10 o’clock at night: ‘Coach, I’ll be available tomorrow morning at 7:20. I’d like to go over my plays.’ ‘Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow to go over your plays.’ ‘I specifically want to go over my nakeds.’ ‘Okay, we’ll go over the nakeds.’

“I mean, he’s a junkie. He might be one of the funnest guys in the world to coach, because he loves it. He eats it. He drinks it and he backs it up, because he smashes everybody that moves.”

Brown also said Ross's injury was a "stinger," so he should be back for Wisconsin.

Quit scheduling service academies, part one billion. All of this time could have been dedicated to OSU:

Michigan won't face an offense like that again, which is why preparing for Army was "very disruptive."

And the Wolverines allocated a lot of resources toward stopping the Black Knights. In at least 10 of 15 spring practices, one period was "donated to the triple option." From the third practice of fall camp through the week of the Middle Tennessee State game, Michigan practiced its triple option defense every day.

What are we doing dot gif.

Offense structure and Patterson health. Meanwhile, Gattis:

“No, nothing’s by design,” Gattis said of the Patterson holding onto the ball. “Everything we do has some level of a read, whether it’s an RPO read or quarterback read run. It’s a little bit complex when you look at it, as far as the reads, because you have to decide how they’re playing. Obviously, Army did some things on Saturday, jetting their guys up the field to be able to take the quarterback read away. But it gave us favorable matchups inside – six-man boxes and six-man blocking surfaces.

“One of the things they did a really good job of is continuing to pressure. I think they pressured 85-something percent of the time. It’s just cleaning up the little things. Every quarterback read run isn’t always going to be a pull. There was some that he should have pulled, and there was one he shouldn’t have pulled in two-minute (drill). That was one that he should have gave the ball."

The one he shouldn't have pulled was a corner blitz on which the RB was going to get crunched by the end, so that's an RPS issue by my reckoning, not a Patterson one. The ones he should have pulled are apparently going in the Patterson bin; he's going to have another mega-negative run grade.

Gattis also confirmed the oblique injury:

“He’s been banged up the past two weeks with oblique,” Gattis said. “Something that he’s struggled with since the first week of Middle Tennessee. That had no effect – I hope it had no effect on his decision-making from that standpoint."

I hope it did, though? Gattis then asserted that the rando in the stands is not equipped to say whether a pull was correct all the time and that Michigan had "favorable matchups inside – six-man boxes and six-man blocking surfaces." There is some of that, but pretty frequently in my charting the lack of a pull puts Michigan in a situation where there is a free hitter in the box. I think some of this is just covering for some extremely bad decisions.

Do you need video of a distressed anthropomorphic bagel? The alumni association is a font of bagels and coffee  for students every Wednesday, but construction has troubled our little town.

This is posited as helping the bagel but really they're just going to slice it in half and feast on its corpse. Anyway, happy bageling!

Prompt service. Remember last year's scourge of yellow down and distance chyron? It took a few weeks before the appropriate person was thwapped upside the head and saner colors prevailed. This time around—how does this person keep getting hired?—the flag-impersonation chaos agent was in the NFL and didn't last for even one game:

.@espn please take this yellow-green down-and-distance color and throw it into the ocean. It looks like a flag pic.twitter.com/jNyMSY7kZA

— Riley McAtee (@RileyMcAtee) September 9, 2019

ESPN pulled it at halftime and replaced it with a nice black logo that did not seem like a flag on every play. When this happens in the CFL next year you'll know this person has been fired and emigrated.

The fake punt. Harbaugh on Attack Each Day:

"Special teams, there’s the play of the game, Mike Barrett to Dax Hill, that was great to see," Harbaugh said. "The penalty was on us. We were called for a penalty. They were showing a corner pressure and Chris Partridge came up to me and asked if they could fake it, which was a pass from Barrett to Dax Hill. I said, yeah, let’s do it. That was fourth and 10. Mike made the throw to an open Dax and Dax had the wherewithal that he didn’t have the first down yet. He caught it after seven and had another three to get. Made an inside move and picked up about 10 more. It was great."

So that was not an option Barrett has whenever he sees it. 

The bill proceeds. Nancy Skinner's bill to restore name and image rights to athletes at California schools passed the full state assembly 72-0—one wonders if the NCAA got Rutger'd here—and now has just a reconciliation between the assembly and senate versions before it hits the governor's desk. The NCAA has threatened to ban California schools from post-season activity:

Scott and other leaders in college sports — including the N.C.A.A. president, Mark Emmert, in a letter to California legislators this summer — paint a doomsday scenario for the state’s athletic teams if the bill becomes law. They say that colleges in California could be prohibited from competing for N.C.A.A. championships because they would have an unfair recruiting advantage — being able to lure athletes with the possibility of cashing in on anything from jersey sales to sponsorship deals.

“It’s like you and I sit down to play Monopoly and I pull out a different rule book and every time I pass Go, I’m going to give myself $400 instead of $200,” said Andy Fee, the athletic director at Long Beach State. “I don’t imagine too many people are going to be willing to allow California schools to compete for N.C.A.A. championships.”

But relevant law-talking guys think this would be impossible under antitrust law, which bars trade organizations like the NCAA from having bylaws that violate state or federal law. Also:

…the NCAA's attempt to ban California colleges from postseason tournaments in retaliation for the State of California passing a bill to increase the financial rights and economic well-being of college athletes is likely to be deemed to violate the implied common law rights of good faith and fair dealing that exist in every contract. This is because the NCAA, as a monopolist trade association, is punishing several of its private members for doing exactly what their state law requires them to do.

There are nascent versions of Skinner's bill in various state houses that may get through before 2023, when the Skinner bill is set to take effect. (The delay is to allow the NCAA to adjust to the new reality.)

Etc.: More on Mike Danna. Glasgow got a real nice PFF grade last week.