Please Clap
11/28/2020 – Michigan 17, Penn State 27 – 2-4 Big Ten
Only one picture goes in the history book. We've got the French And Indian War to cover, people! Teapot Dome! William Henry Harrison, briefly! So you've got one image to sum up whatever your thing is. Maybe a couple paragraphs. This is no time for subtlety. Beat 'em over the head with it. Elide various details. Sum up a complicated series of decisions and events with one emblematic Item For Posterity. Accurate? Maybe. Pithy? Yes!
The Item For Posterity leader in the clubhouse for Jim Harbaugh's tenure at Michigan is from Daily reporter Theo Mackie, who set up shop behind the bench in an empty Michigan Stadium for the latest football-type exercise:
The loudest cheers from Harbaugh’s sideline in the second half came on Penn State penalties. When freshman receiver A.J. Henning leapt over a Nittany Lions’ defender to make a highlight-reel catch, Harbaugh had to turn towards a group of players sitting on the bench and tell them to stand up and cheer.
This catch was stunning enough that I momentarily roused myself from my torpor in its aftermath. I am a person who has given up on this coaching regime and is mostly worried that whatever signs of life this team displays will get in the way of hiring Matt Campbell. Persons on the football team are in the midst of a project most of them have spent large chunks of their lives pursuing, watching a game that's still within reach. If Harbaugh has to pull the Jeb(!) Bush "please clap" on them, it's over. Sooner or later, it's over.
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The brief explanation that makes the textbook is this: not enough people liked Jim Harbaugh.
I once sat near a former walk-on defensive back at a game during the waning days of the Carr regime, when people were unhappy and getting more vociferous about it. He swore up and down that he and anyone else who played for Lloyd Carr would run through a wall for him. I have no doubt this is true. Carr engendered loyalty that still borders on fanatical some 15 years after his retirement. We had a former Carr OL on MGoRadio last year and tried to talk about Michigan's improved offensive line; he spent the bulk of the segment dumping on five future NFL draft picks after going undrafted himself. Because they weren't like the guys in the old days. ¯\_(?)_/¯
Say what you want about Carr's failure to adapt to modern college football, hidebound dedication to Mike DeBord, and failure to spawn any sort of coaching tree: people loved him. Still do. Not everyone, but most people. Enough people.
I'm sure a number of people love Jim Harbaugh, but the parade of transfers and lateral-or-worse coaching departures, the various high schools at which Michigan can't recruit unless the player in question was raised in a winged helmet madrasa, the coaching fraternity that can't wait to shiv the guy: these are indications that Harbaugh's famously prickly nature hasn't mellowed out like his sideline demeanor has. He is infamous in a profession that is frequently the last refuge of the criminally insane.
When a guy like Harbaugh stumbles, the knives come out and the whole edifice collapses. Harbaugh's proven that if he gets things pointed in the right direction and gets buy in he can take things in the right direction implausibly fast and reach implausible heights. But three NFC championship games in three years was not enough capital to survive one mediocre season with the 49ers. The 49ers axed him so they could promote Jim Tomsula, a career defensive line coach who looked like a cross between Wario and Adam Sandler's character in Uncut Gems. This was the thing 49ers fans were momentarily excited about in the aftermath:
I bought an ironic Jim Tomsula "Bludgeon" shirt like a smug asshole, and now here we are. At some point Harbaugh rubs you the wrong way and if you've got a smidgen of historical success without him, even Jim Tomsula looks like a good idea.
Stanford, though… Stanford was different. The sad-sack Pac-12 program hadn't experienced success since John Elway and was coming off three of the worst back-to-back-to-back hires—Tyrone Willingham, Buddy Teevens, and Walt Harrris—in recent college football history. They were losers. Historic, unprecedented, incredible losers. They craved any level of success and would put up with any level of eccentricity to get it. A titanic upset of USC with a third-string quarterback and pottery major established him as Dear Leader. And nothing would shake that.
That's what Jim Harbaugh needs: losers. The biggest damn losers on the planet. Not people who look on a 9-3 season as a disappointment. People who regard wins as worse draft position.
Harbaugh and the Lions need each other. Michigan cannot stand in the way of the most perfect match heaven and hell have ever yet conceived.
[After THE JUMP: Pizza party! Please click.]
AWARDS
Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week
you're the man now, dog
#1 Hassan Haskins. 105 yards on 17 carries, two touchdowns, seems to give a crap. This is in short supply.
#2 Gemon Green. Repeatedly targeted without much success.
#3 AJ Henning. Please clap! Henning's 28-yard catch was 31% of McNamara's total passing yards. Not bad!
Honorable mentions: I was fairly close to putting Jake Moody on here for not putting any of his kickoffs out of bounds, so noooope.
KFaTAotW Standings. (Scoring: 8 points for first, 5 for second, 3 for third, 1 for HM. Points from ties adjudicated by an ankylosaur named Sharon.)
15: Hassan Haskins(HM Minnesota, HM MSU, #2 Rutgers, #1 PSU)
14: Joe Milton (#1 Minnesota, #3 MSU, #3 Indiana)
11: Giles Jackson(#1 MSU, #3 Rutgers)
10: Dax Hill (#2 MSU, #2 Indiana), Ronnie Bell (HM Minnesota, #1 Indiana, HM Rutgers)
8: Cade McNamara(#1 Rutgers)
5: Kwity Paye(T2 Minnesota, HM MSU, HM Indiana), Gemon Green (#2 PSU).
3: Aidan Hutchinson(T2 Minnesota), Michael Barrett(#3 Minnesota), AJ Henning (#3 PSU).
2: Cornelius Johnson(HM Indiana, HM Rutgers)
1: Ben Mason (HM Minnesota), Jaylen Mayfield (HM Minnesota), Roman Wilson (HM MSU), Brad Robbins(HM Indiana),
Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week
Haskins's 59-yard run sets up a Michigan touchdown and Michigan momentarily looking functional.
Honorable mention: Henning's catch, Frames's end of half spike.
?MARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK.
A third and four is PBUed because all WRs are short of the sticks and PSU is aware that Cade McNamara cannot throw downfield.
Honorable mention: McNamara pulling himself off the field, Sean Clifford wandering through Michigan's second level like a small child in a field of dandelions, lingering, smelling, blowing seeds every which way, accidentally moseying into the endzone after a delightful afternoon picnic. The camembert was especially piquant and the defenders converging in the distance were an amusing backdrop.
OFFENSE
Let's beat this dead horse some more. Michigan played Cade McNamara after a shoulder injury bad enough to require him to go back to the locker room for a painkilling shot. He threw one pass downfield, that the leaping Henning catch on a ball that was short and way too far inside. The rest of it was attempting to dink four yards at a time.
Whatever you think about Joe Milton, it is incredible that the guy who supposedly had a dead lock on the job to the point where Dylan McCaffrey transferred is now so far behind the third-string QB that the third-string guy is preferred when his functional passing range is nil. A colossal, unforgivable roster disaster.
Keegan debuts. He looked like a masher on a Michigan touchdown drive, so there's that. I'll be interested to see how he did in UFR. I'm guessing it's going to be a series of nice blocks intermixed with mis-IDing stuff. Zinter was apparently out with a thumb injury, so that may not have been a voluntary switch. May as well see what you've got there.
There is not much to say when your offense cannot get the ball downfield at all. As soon as PSU realized that McNamara was still broken Michigan's offense was doomed, and there's no way to scheme your way out of that.
DEFENSE
Packing it in. Penn State was down Devyn Ford so the Nittany Lions rotated two true freshman RBs; as a team they put up 5.9 yards a carry once you eliminate a sack and three kneel-downs. This was with Kwity Paye back on the field. And the weird thing is it didn't feel like the DTs were a major problem? I'll have to check that half-ass feelingsball but that is my take as it stands.
Walk-ons come back to earth. Adam Shibley and Hunter Reynolds did not seem to maintain their solid play from the Rutgers game. Shibley in particular seemed overmatched by PSU's ground game.
SPECIAL TEAMS
The inevitable muff. Mike Sainristil's muffed punt bouncing directly into the hands of a gunner is not emblematic, because it implies that opponents have been exceptionally fortunate when they have merely had to play Michigan.
Michigan hit a field goal. Also they did not kickoff out of bounds twice, like Penn State did. Everything's coming up Milhouse.
MISCELLANEOUS
FWIW. The image for posterity has been formally denied:
Harbaugh denies the detail in my story that he had to turn to players and tell them to cheer. To re-state: The coaches were running down the sideline cheering. Most of the players were already standing. Harbaugh turned to a group sitting on the bench and waved them to stand up.
— Theo Mackie (@theo_mackie) November 30, 2020
Uh… what? I think this is going to need a clarification because it could mean almost anything:
Harbaugh said "yes" when asked if anyone had tested presumptive positive before Saturday, but it's unclear how far before Saturday he's referring to or how many people. Most of the starters who missed Saturday's game had a known injury
— Aria Gerson (@aria_gerson) November 30, 2020
Michigan has had guys test positive before Saturday, obviously, so depending on how the question was phrased that could just mean "yeah in September we had some guys test positive." Or it could mean various absences at Michigan have been COVID positives that the program doesn't want to reveal for whatever reason. Which is an incredible funhouse mirror version of the program's insane commitment to secrecy. How's that going? Good? Ah, apparently not.
FRAMES! A moment of levity late in the first half, when Penn State achieved first and goal with about 40 seconds on the clock and a timeout. James Franklin called for a first-down spike with ~30 seconds left and threw a fade on the next play. You know, the dumbest/worst/easiest thing to call in a goal-to-go situation. The thing Penn State could have done on first down. One third-down incompletion later, Penn State was kicking a field goal with 17 seconds on the clock and a timeout.
Thank you, James Franklin, for having a hilarious personal brand that can provide even Michigan fans a moment of pure delight as they watch their team lose to your 0-5 outfit.
Jarbaugh. Punting from the plus-43 on fourth and three. Cumong man.
November 30th, 2020 at 12:39 PM ^
Harbaugh's loss of control over his players' demeanor doesn't have the anger-inducing "I compromise the health and safety of my players" smell of the Hoke-Brandon era, but it sounds just as damning.
And that speaks volumes.
November 30th, 2020 at 12:54 PM ^
Could be.
I guess the difference is that we're not exactly sure when the tests came up positive, and just who came up positive as well. With Hoke-Brandon, we saw Morris get his brains scrambled, in front of God and everybody. And we saw him get sent right back in the game afterwards. There wasn't much to interpret there. We knew what happened, and we saw the reaction by the athletic department. They deserved to get every bit of the roasting they got, and their final fate (firing) was warranted.
The story isn't written on this one quite yet. Now, then.....If it comes out that the coaching staff/athletic department knowingly put players with positive tests into a game situation, whether it be in the actual game or on the sideline....then look out below. They'll deserve every bit of the shitstorm that will ensue. And this one will cost people their jobs, too.
November 30th, 2020 at 12:59 PM ^
To clarify (and I went and edited my comment), I wasn't talking specifically about the COVID tests, rather Harbaugh's systemic loss of control over the program.
November 30th, 2020 at 1:03 PM ^
Ah. Gotcha. Just had to make me look bad, didn't you?
I get it. In that case, I guess a simple "loss of control of the program" isn't quite as bad as "knowingly and willingly putting injured players in immediate danger". At this point, we're almost to the point where we're arguing about which one is prettiest fat girl in the trailer park.
November 30th, 2020 at 1:04 PM ^
Just had to make me look bad, didn't you?
Tigers never look bad.
November 30th, 2020 at 1:04 PM ^
Have you SEEN them play the past couple years?
November 30th, 2020 at 11:29 PM ^
Just as big an issue is the lack of team leaders. Sideline energy, pregame readiness, and accountability rely on team leaders - and this squad lack those. It seems clear that this young roster along with loss of key guys who are “dogs” (Ambry, Hutch, McGrone) looks more shellshocked than aggressive.
Harbaugh owns the whole mess at this point. It appears the culture has lost its edge and it shows in the lack of team leaders.
November 30th, 2020 at 12:41 PM ^
I've been thinking about a Harbaugh/Lions marriage for some time now. And it still makes sense in a weird way. Clearly Harbaugh and Michigan need a divorce. The question is whether either spouse will have the guts to say it. My guess is they bumble their way into an extension that neither side really wants because they don't know what else to do.
November 30th, 2020 at 1:53 PM ^
My guess is they bumble their way into an extension that neither side really wants because they don't know what else to do.
I will no longer actively be rooting for Michigan in football if this happens. That would be the absolute worst possible decision in this situation and show that the admin either doesn't give a shit or is completely inept and in over their heads. Either way, I'm not going to waste my time (and money) on a program like that. Change is absolutely needed.
November 30th, 2020 at 2:35 PM ^
Eh. I'll still cheer for these kids regardless of who is coaching them. I live too far away to pay to see them play in person (with any regularity in the past and in a post-covid future), but I'll still buy Michigan stuff and still donate to the school.
November 30th, 2020 at 2:09 PM ^
The issue is that the extension was agreed upon before Covid and after he took a pay reduction for this year. That's my best guess. The lack of confirmation is that they still have games to play, and they never talk contract during the season.
November 30th, 2020 at 10:02 PM ^
Harbaugh had to coax his family away from California to come to Michigan. He offered some permanence and a family-friendly environment to raise kids in A2. Going to the Lions would let him keep his family in place.
It could actually be a good match.
November 30th, 2020 at 12:42 PM ^
Brian has always used the most hyperbolic language to arrive at. . . the most pedestrian conclusions. If there's anything more sclerotic than the Michigan football program, it just might be mgoblog.
November 30th, 2020 at 1:04 PM ^
I mean, he writes about Michigan football for a living. We're still in football season. It's not like he can jump ship and go write about, I dunno, the Lakers? The program is in the midst of a collapse, yet it remains more tight-lipped than a scarecrow.
The only way to make this story interesting is to make it as purple as Brian Kelly's face.
November 30th, 2020 at 1:52 PM ^
I mean, he writes about Michigan football for a living. We're still in football season. It's not like he can jump ship and go write about, I dunno, the Lakers?
I'm sure he could find some soccer or AA politics to write about it if he were so resigned to.
November 30th, 2020 at 1:06 PM ^
+1 for "sclerotic". You'd never see that used on RCMB. We are a fanbase of nerds and dweebs.
November 30th, 2020 at 1:26 PM ^
Nope you would never read that word on RCMB. But you might find some actual reporting instead of constant hand-wringing and snarky "look how smart I am" references...
November 30th, 2020 at 1:26 PM ^
Nope you would never read that word on RCMB. But you might find some actual reporting instead of constant hand-wringing and snarky "look how smart I am" references...
November 30th, 2020 at 11:50 PM ^
You haven't been to RCMB, have you?
November 30th, 2020 at 1:36 PM ^
It is plausible that some dipshit over there heard of it once in a course they took but assumed is meant the plural for erotic.
November 30th, 2020 at 2:14 PM ^
Speak for yourself
November 30th, 2020 at 1:45 PM ^
Sorry, I am not trying to be a sycophant, but I find it wildly entertaining.
"...Sean Clifford wandering through Michigan's second level like a small child in a field of dandelions...."
This was fucking hysterical!
November 30th, 2020 at 3:48 PM ^
Yeah, I know it doesn't go with the narrative but Stanford wasn't "historic, unprecedented, incredible losers" in the recent past. Ty Willingham took them to a Rose bowl and later tied for second in the PAC12 with a 9-3 overall record which is how Notre Dame thought highly enough of him to hire him. Just before him Bill Walsh tied for first in the PAC12 in his second stint (his first was a very successful stepping stone on his way to revolutionizing the NFL) . That's not historic losing.
November 30th, 2020 at 3:59 PM ^
I think that's just the way he writes. Brian is almost literary in the way he uses hyperbole, and expressive imagery, and symbolism to get his point across without explicitly saying it. Any idiot on the board can say "UNACCEPTABLE" and "FIRE JIM HARBAUGH!!!1!" but it's neither novel nor particularly interesting to do so. I come here for storytelling about the football game and broader program that I can't find anywhere else.
It's not surprising that he's read so much David Foster Wallace, and, presumably, other great writers who do the same. His writing is what makes these posts stand out from the other writers on this site, and other Michigan blogs, and other writers across college football.
November 30th, 2020 at 7:58 PM ^
Brian writes with hyperbole, usually for the sake of humor and emphasis, and it's usually pretty dame effective. Any half-intelligent reader can tell when it's hyperbole. He's not like Trump, who tells lies and then, when called on them, claims he was just kidding.
November 30th, 2020 at 8:44 PM ^
So what are you upset about exactly? That he's only calling for Harbaugh to be gone and not be burned at the stake?
November 30th, 2020 at 9:55 PM ^
I thought his writing on this was really lucid. Especially the point about not enough people liking him to bail him out of bad years . . . when you go to 3 NFC Championship games and you can't survive a bad season, you don't have anywhere near enough people liking you.
I call this the "Bobby Knight Phenomenon." Bobby Knight was such as cosmic asshole that he had to win. He was all-in, he had no choice. Nobody would put up with his shit unless he was winning, and winning big. And as soon as he stopped winning big, it all collapsed.
Harbaugh can be a jerk. His quirks are endearing . . . only when he is winning. The boner mask would be a fashion statement and we'd all be wearing one if he was winning Big Ten titles and CFP games. When he is not winning he is grating as hell, and there is no reserve of goodwill after 6 seasons with no meaningful results.
November 30th, 2020 at 12:42 PM ^
That's what Jim Harbaugh needs: losers. The biggest damn losers on the planet. Not people who look on a 9-3 season as a disappointment.
I guess we have different definitions of what makes people and teams "losers". Because that latter part sure sounds like the former.
November 30th, 2020 at 1:34 PM ^
Having some standards make people losers? Well that's an interesting take.
November 30th, 2020 at 1:44 PM ^
If you have outsized standards then it just makes you irrational. Michigan has lost fewer than 3 games 6 times since 1990; "9-3 is a disappointment" is, in fact, what Michigan has been for 30 damn years.
November 30th, 2020 at 2:13 PM ^
Three D level coaching hires do not set the standard for what is possible. Only Harbaugh apologists and the wanna be ivy fans think 9-3 is the best Michigan can do. Look no further than the entire rest of the athletic department to see this is false.
November 30th, 2020 at 2:25 PM ^
Well, Carr's average season was...9-3. Gary Moeller was...9-3. Jim Harbaugh's average record (before this year) is...9-4. I'll save you RR and Hoke but both are worse than 9-3. This is what Michigan has been for decades now, and you stuffing your fingers in your ears and singing Hail to the Victors as you imagine some alternative history won't change that.
Also, save me this "D-level coaching hires" bullshit. Jim Harbaugh was THE best option Michigan had as a coach. If you want to name someone else who'd have been better in 2014 by all means share it.
November 30th, 2020 at 2:38 PM ^
"Jim Harbaugh was THE best option Michigan had as a coach."
Yes, he was considered to be at the time. The results make it obvious that was incorrect. Whatever he was before he got here he is a D level coach now that he is here. Anyone who has the ability to understand offense is the name of the game would have been better because we would have at least had a chance.
November 30th, 2020 at 3:45 PM ^
So your argument is that once someone doesn't work out it was a bad hire, and if he does work out he's a good hire?
Fantastic analysis there. I apologize for taking issue with anything you've said.
November 30th, 2020 at 4:11 PM ^
"Yes, he was considered to be at the time. The results make it obvious that was incorrect."
No my argument is that clearly that was wrong. This is generally how things work, when more data comes in we update our conclusions. Your analysis is that this is fine and we should keep it rolling so... I guess your argument is we should ignore any data we don't like?
November 30th, 2020 at 8:47 PM ^
The results are that Harbaugh has gotten Michigan back to the "best" version of themselves since the second half of Bo's tenure. You keep acting like they're better than that but the data rather clearly shows you're wrong on that front. So if you're claiming I'm ignoring or cherry-picking data, you might want to take a look at your own books first and make sure you aren't just making stuff up.
November 30th, 2020 at 4:13 PM ^
Also that fact that you of all people are now going the snarky douche route might suggest this is cognitive dissonance talking.
November 30th, 2020 at 8:53 PM ^
My unwillingness to believe that Harbaugh must be fired after an absolutely awful year during a pandemic in which nearly half of his starters have missed significant time and he's apparently down to his 3rd or 4th QB, with the likely replacements being a combination of a barely-.500 coach from another P5 program, a coach at an AAC program who has made it pretty clear he doesn't want to come here, and assorted assistants who have little track records is, of course, a massive character flaw.
Yes, I disagree with Brian believing Michigan fans aren't "losers" because they are disappointed with the historical norm for this program basically since the majority of people on this site have been alive. If that's douchy so be it.
November 30th, 2020 at 8:53 PM ^
I mean, there are people who think normative evaluations should be grounded in the consequences of a decision. It’s not uncommon to think that at least evaluations of actions should work that way. I don’t think it’s ridiculous to say, ex post that I did the wrong thing even if it looked like the right thing ex ante. But sure, dismiss him as an idiot.
November 30th, 2020 at 9:13 PM ^
So if Michigan gets a new coach and the team is worse than under Harbaugh, do we get to go back and apply this same logic? Because as I've been showing elsewhere in this thread, Michigan under Harbaugh is about as good as they've been historically for decades now.
Again, by all means bring forth evidence that supports the claim that Michigan is somehow being held back from their true greatness by Harbaugh as head coach.
November 30th, 2020 at 8:46 PM ^
Good God there's a national championship season in there. Because of how many dynasties there are, there are actually still only a handful of programs who have won it all since 1990.
November 30th, 2020 at 9:02 PM ^
Michigan has the same number of national titles since 1990 as the following programs:
- Colorado
- Georgia Tech
- Washington
- Tennessee
- Texas
- Auburn
- Miami
That's a collection of pretty good teams, but fans here think Michigan is somehow better than that collection of teams. They've finished with fewer than 3 losses three times since 1997. Michigan's average season since 1997 has been 8-4 (I'm excluding this year).
My point is that this fanbase believes for some insane reason that this team is up there with Alabama, Ohio State, Florida State, Florida, Clemson, etc., but they decidedly are not. Maybe a new coach is out there who can get them there; I don't know. But there is little evidence going on decades and multiple coaches that they are getting close to that echelon.
November 30th, 2020 at 10:06 PM ^
I'd be perfectly happy to be back on that list, even without being Alabama/Clemson/Ohio State.
November 30th, 2020 at 1:00 PM ^
That faint smile at the end. :)
November 30th, 2020 at 12:46 PM ^
We suck. COVID sucks. 2020 sucks. Eat at Arby’s.
November 30th, 2020 at 2:16 PM ^
I got a feeling 2021 will be one of the best years ever
November 30th, 2020 at 2:42 PM ^
Kinda depends on whether the virus mutates to something the vaccine can't fight and whether the virus remains dangerous after mutating.
November 30th, 2020 at 12:51 PM ^
1,000 words on why the man that has spent more years (the vast majority of them successful) in this culture than anyone currently assessing him is the wrong person person for this culture. It's lazy and it isn't true.
Of the myriad reasons why JJH may no longer be the right person for Michigan, the ones espoused in this analysis are the weakest and most tired.
I, for one, have zero confidence that Matt Campbell or anyone short of Fritz Crisler could win with this roster given Covid, opt outs, transfers, etc. And if you argue that every team has experienced this, I will tell you that you are wrong. And if you tell me that the opt outs and transfers are because of JJH, then I will ask you to show your work (and you won't be able to aside from the typical rumormongering).
There is a reason that LSU won a title in 2019 then promptly lost to MSU and Mizzou. There is a reason that Kentucky bball got soundly beaten at home by an unranked team. There is a reason the Dodgers finally won a World Series in a year unlike any other when they have blown it every other year.
2020 is insane, a crazed outlier and will not be repeated in our lifetimes. If you make a major decision as a result of panic and hysteria, I promise you that you will be making a great many more major decisions shortly thereafter. And you better get them all right.
Or you can take the approach that this year, if it even finishes, is an insane outlier and give the benefit of the doubt to someone that is deserving of it.
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