OT: Quarantine with little kids

We have an insane 19mo and my wife is pregnant with our second. We both work from home full time but she's been absolutely miserable with morning sickness so I'm usually busy taking care of both of them (plus the dog). I'm lucky if I shower every third day. Fortunately work isn't too busy at the moment. 

One of my all time favorite commercials, and I honestly don't remember what the commercial was about, had a dad sitting on the toilet holding an ipad.  He was not going to the bathroom, he was sitting on the toilet fully clothed with the lid down.  The door looked like it was lock, and he slowly reached back with his elbow to flush.  I can relate to that scene so much. 

I have 4 kids, with the youngest being 4. The best solution I came up with is having the kids work on educational games or apps.  This occupies them for a little while, and I feel better thinking that they are learning.  If your kids are that age, I suggest getting a free trial for ABC Mouse.  They could be occupied playing he game, and you can feel like they are are learning.  It costs money after the free trial, but it might be worth a shot.  There may be other apps out there that are better.  I know some people say that too much screen time is not great, but neither is the relentlessness of raising kids that age.  Also, if you have Disney +, Bluey is an amazing show.  The dad on that show is my new hero.

Same boat with a 2 yo and 4 yo. My wife and I try as best we can to talk through our meeting schedules and work needs for the week to come on Sunday when the kids are asleep to make a plan for how/when we can divvy things up between the two. We make a schedule for the kids every day...9-10 creative time (often play doh or drawing, some times building blocks), 10-11 is Library time (Ann Arbor District Library has been streaming storytimes on youtube every day at 10 since they've been closed), 11-12 is active time (we try to get outside weather permitting, or run around and roughhouse inside if need be); 12-1 lunch, 1-3 quiet time (the 2 yo takes a pretty regular nap at this time...when he has trouble with it, our day goes to hell; the 4 yo understands the concept of playing quietly by herself for a little bit, so we can get away with this), 3-4 is often a call with grandparents, and 4-5 is kid show time.

We aren't as productive as we would like to be, but we can get SOME things done. At the end of the day, we need to be forgiving of ourselves as much as possible for what we aren't able to get done. And I want to emphasize, it's ok to lean into screen time! The quality matters so much more than the quantity. It sucks, but hey, at least we're not homeschooling!

Good luck, OP!

2 year old and 6 mo old here.  We just took them back to daycare for the first time today.  Feeling extremely guilty about it, but it's better for their development than my wife and I half parenting while also trying to get our work done.  Has anybody else taken their kids back to daycare yet (perhaps daycare isn't open in other states)?

never punt and lilpenny have some good stuff in their posts, start there.  i would add that we were blessed with a boatload of kids and i always got up and worked at 0-dark-hundred when i was working from home.  still do.  some other suggestions:

1.  schedules.  kids are good on schedules.  i recommend b-fast and some reading time each morning.  brush teeth, clothes for the day. 

2.  then, take them to exercise.  put them in a jogger and run.  put them in a bike seat and peddle.  put them in a yard and throw/kick/shoot whatever is appropriate for their age in terms of balls, hockey pucks, etc.   run them, joyfully, until they are gassed.  clean 'em up, sippy cup, books, music, toys.  you and wife can switch on this obviously.

3.   meals- lunch. involve them in meal prep.  and just as good, time to teach them how to do the dishes.

4.  house chores - trash out, dog fed, laundry, sweep garage, front steps, garden, all of that. 

hopefully some help there.  

People with kids always look miserable to me.  Just wait until your wife wants a divorce because she’s not “happy” anymore.  Then she will take all your assets and you’re stuck with child support and/or alimony.

75% of divorces are initiated by women.  I almost feel bad for all of you married with kids.

As someone who works in the organizational development space, one of the big problems I see is that people and employers are expecting productivity to be full and complete while working remotely (i.e. if you are expected to work eight hours in a day, you actually have productive work for 8 hours).  That's completely irrational in almost all cases because it doesn't reflect the reality of what would have happened if the employee was working in the office (i.e. if you work in an office you absolutely are not productive for eight hours).  Add to that the fact that people think they need to overcompensate while working remotely to prove they are working, and employers wanting extra reporting to show that their employees are working.  What ends up happening is that people stress themselves to the max to produce more while working remotely than they would while working in the office.  As soon as people and organizations realize that, and take some of the irrational pressure off, it helps an awful lot.

I feel for everyone in this situation. We have people at our company that are doing this in small apartments which just makes it even worse. I am fortunate to have kids at college/high school age. I hardly even see them normally so this is actually a nice sort of family reunion. This combined with the extra time I now have available for projects around the house makes this a welcome break for me. I'm hoping to keep remote work going through June although I support opening the economy much sooner.

A college of mine has 8 6 and 2 y.o. To deal with.  He has a cave but the walls get breached hourly...

Second grader and a 3.5 yo. Yes, I have run the gamut of good and bad moments. Mentally and s has been a battle. Exhausted but insomniatic. Tired of these fucking commercials reminding me to take care, though. 

Stay at home dad here with a working doctor wife, she's in a 12 straight day stretch with fri-sun working 8am-7pm. I have a 11 month old, 7 y old and 9 y old. I like it, not to bad. We walk 5 miles a day, they are switching to homeschool fill time. Probably easier since I do it every day regardless. Fortunately I never introduced video games to them, they don't watch TV, I throw a movie on a few times a week.

4 and 2 y/o here too. My wife only works part time even before all this so it's not too bad for me. Our neighbor is our normal nanny when my wife worked and we kinda merged our quarantine bubbles so she still comes over and watches the kids 2 days a week so my wife can get work done. 

The kids themselves are taking it remarkably well. Honestly my 4 y/o seems to have a better grasp on the situation and importance of social distancing better than a lot of adults. Now that the weather is better, they spend a lot of time just free playing in the yard, which is good for everyone.

have you tried day drinking?  But seriously, 1. don't hang yourself - probably don't joke about it even.  PSA: my wife is a pediatrician and the majority of her patients are suicide attempts.  It's pretty terrible.  2. get them outside and get regular exercise.  Their little brains go crazy if they haven't burned off some energy.  Any time my kids start bickering I make them run to the corner and back.  It almost always works.   We go for a bike ride or run every day. 3. Give them structure.  We have almost given up on the home schooling but they have a couple hours to do every day or they don't get movies, candy, etc. I give them a lot of chores too, easy things that I don't care about like pick up pine cones, move rocks from here to there, clean your room, sweep the floor, dust bust something - they do a terrible job with all of it but they feel like they did something good.  

My kids are slightly older (4, 6, 8) but we've been letting them ride bikes/scooters with friends through most of this.  That interaction seems to really help them. They stay pretty far from each other and just race around in circles.  

Quarantine is very different depending on your household.  I'm exhausted every day dealing with kids and working from home.  I can't wait until we get back to normal so I can take a nap.  Also, just be glad you still have your jobs.  We feel guilty because we save way more now than normal times but i know a lot of people who are getting hammered with the slowdown.  

Thoughts and prayers.

Mine are 3 and 6. Every day is more difficult than the last. I’m in Switzerland and supposedly they’ll restart school in a week (probably just two days per week). 
 

It would really be OK if it weren’t for, you know, our full time jobs that somehow also have to get done.

I have no brilliant advice. Our saving grace is that we have a garden and can send them outside as much as possible.

But yes, seriously drowning here...

Download the PBSkids apps, both the shows and the games.  When you need a break, allow them to watch or play for an hour.  Don't feel the least bit guilty, PBSkids is excellent and they'll learn a ton from really any of the shows.  And there a ton of them.  The games aren't as educational, but they are fun and do have some value. 

There are also a ton of youtube videos with people reading books aloud.  Try to use the ones that show the pages and the words, so the kids can pick up the letters/words/sounds.  Is any time spent with books poorly spent?  No.  Not anyone at any age.  Use this often as well.  Your kids can even pick their books.  

Kids will like this, you'll like this.  Hopefully enough that you can even go in another room.  Do it and don't feel bad for a moment. 

The one good thing that hopefully came out of this mess is that for the last seven weeks, I have had more time with my family than probably the last year combined.  As a parent of a 3yo and a career that requires that I (normally) travel a lot, I live with a persistent sense of guilt that I'm missing the best years, and this was a chance to take a forced pause to remind myself of what's most important.  Because everyone is in the same camp globally and it's perfectly reasonable to do so, I fully expect to come out of this with a bit more leverage to "slow down" and work remotely more often, travel a little less, etc.

2-year old and a 1-year old here and it's been chaos. We're both lucky to have employers and management that understand this is unavoidable and have been told to try our best and don't hesitate to reach out when you simply can't get things done.

I was the parent home with the children when ours were young, and I have to say, I have great sympathy for those with young children now.  Almost all of my go-to sources to get the little ones some activities (whether physical or mental) are not available.  I don't know how I would have managed without libraries, play grounds, museums, zoos, parks open.  And while grocery shopping was sometimes a challenge with children in tow, at least it was possible without fear of picking up a deadly disease.

I have “survivors guilt”. My 22yo daughter is at home likely for 2-3 months. My work day has shortened a bit as many meetings and projects that used to be viewed as important have fallen away. 
 

I cant imagine trying to work and parent multiple young children. All of you in that situation deserve hazard pay and a nice long vacation when travel becomes feasible

6 and 7 year-old boys here. Not gonna lie, it really sucks sometimes but for me, I try to appreciate the fact that this is time I never would’ve had with them and just enjoy that fact.

every day, rain or shine, cold or hot, we all go on a couple mile walk, and the boys ‘practice’ basketball, baseball and throwing/catching a football. It’s when they’re inside too long and have too much pent up energy that things get bad. Keep ‘em active and tired and everything’s better  

Once things go back to normal it’ll go back to me not seeing them until i pick them Up from school (or chess practice, soccer practice, a friend’s house) hurriedly preparing dinner, doing homework, chores and then putting them to bed. This quarantine sucks in some ways, but in others it’s actually kinda great

15 month old and the wife and I each trying to work full time from home.  It’s been... exhausting.  Right about 7:30pm I can barely keep my eyes open, and then I have 3 hours of regular work to do.  We are incredibly fortunate, but it is getting frustrating for sure.  

We have a 2 yo and 1 yo. They are a year and a few days apart. It’s been easy for us because the weather is great where we live. We take the girls for a walk once or twice a day plus a bike ride. Our backyard is big and we have plenty of toys. Some days are hard, but it’s been great. It also helps that I’m furloughed and my wife stays at home. 

As others have mentioned, I hate the fact that COVID-19 has killed so many people, overtaken our lives and drowned our economy.  But, the blessing for me is being around my toddler daughter much more.  I work most of the day at home but she comes in to see me a few, several, many, times per day.  She is nearly 3 years old (next month) and these are difficult times due to her age but also some of the best times.  I am not taking this extra quality time for granted.

I have 6 and 4 year old boys, its not that bad. Yeah theyre crazy loud and fight a lot but they do a pretty good job at staying out of my office and can always just send them to their rooms when they go too far. Do love the quiet time after theyre asleep though!