Coaching change

Submitted by THE_KNOWLEDGE on October 7th, 2014 at 5:54 PM

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as the losses mount in Tuscaloosa and Columbus, it is firmly believed by many that Saban and Meyer are trying to get out of their gigs and look for something better
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after Michigan finishes the season 3-9, everyone expects a wholesale change in the football program to occur quickly with the firing of Hoke and the hiring of a new coach
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many people have connected these dots and have posited the following:
- Urban Meyer will be Michigan's new offesive coordinator
- Nick Saban will be Michigan's new defensive coordinator
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this will be a major step up for both men inasmuch as they now will have to win without cheating.
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this is widely held belief among coaching circles
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yes
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what people are not clear about is who the new head coach will be. opinions range from Bill Belichik to Jon Gruden
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yes
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these people, however, do not KNOW the future
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THE KNOWLEDGE, on the other hand, knows not only the future, but also the information about the future

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THE KNOWLEDGE has appeared again in this time of coaching uncertainty to reveal the future
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yes
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the problem is that president Schlissel is a mole planted by a consortium of osu backers supported by a fund from the dead Steinbrenner, the osu booster who torpedoed Michigan's 2001 season and beyond by signing Drew Henson to baseball
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yes
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thus, THE KNOWLEDGE can clearly reveal that these assumptions are wrong
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in 2015, Michigan's AD will be David Brandon
in 2015, Michigan's football HC will be Brady Hoke
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yes
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those that don't believe this don't understand anything about THE KNOWLEDGE
when these revelation come true as the passge of time makes the future the present, THE KNOWLEDGE shall soar and leave every doubter in a trail of dust
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yes
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Comments

Blue4U

October 7th, 2014 at 8:15 PM ^

Sorry Knowledge, I just can't drink the coolaid any longer.  Didn't you predict an 11-1 season with a trip the the BTCG.  The world makes no sense when The Knowledge let's you down.  Are there are no more hero's left in this world? 

MBloGlue

October 8th, 2014 at 8:09 PM ^

THE KNOWLEGE speaks in riddles.  THE KNOWLEDGE is always right.

THE KNOWLEDGE labels the post "Coaching Change" and then proceeds to predict that both Brandon and Hoke will be in their same positions next year.  Yet, to those lacking insight into the riddles of alternate universes, this sounds like no change at all.

THERE WILL BE A COACHING CHANGE for 2015. 

Yes

THE KNOWLEDGE is pointing to an alternate unverse in which the coaching change is changed back to Hoke as head coach is 2015, which is not going to happen.  By positing that something that appears to be not changing is a change, THE KNOWLEDE is signaling to the initiated that there will be a coaching change for 2015.  Thus, the riddle is solved.

Yes.

ST3

October 7th, 2014 at 6:55 PM ^

By revealing that they will be the AD and coach in 2015, do you mean ALL OF 2015, or would just one day in 2015 be sufficient for your prophecy to be true? I'd be fine if they were both let go on Jan. 1 or 2.

rob f

October 7th, 2014 at 9:05 PM ^

usually takes more than simply asking a question.  True knowledge often takes more effort, more work.  Finding the Knowledge is even harder.  Compounding this is that you are seeking knowledge from Knowledge.   Suddenly the quest for knowledge and Knowledge becomes much more complicated than if it were an either/or proposition.  

That's all the knowledge I have about Knowledge.  Excuse me.  My brain hurts.

LBSS

October 8th, 2014 at 5:47 PM ^

The Knowledge is not a wishy-washy source of knowledge. The Knowledge's knowledge is absolute and clear.

Yes.

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In this instance, the Knowledge seems, to ignorant readers, to have chosen its words poorly, introducing ambiguity that is not intrinsic to the Knowledge. "2015" can refer to any part of next year, up to and including football season.

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Yes.

Therefore, I challenge the Knowledge to clarify its statement about whether Brady Hoke will be HC and Dave Brandon will be AD for mere days or weeks of 2015, or whether they will retain their posts through the 2015 football season.

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I CHALLENGE THE KNOWLEDGE TO CLARIFY ITS STATEMENT. WHAT SAY YOU, KNOWLEDGE?

maineandblue

October 7th, 2014 at 7:51 PM ^

Well, at least I can take comfort in the knowledge that THE_KNOWLEDGE has never been right about anything (maybe in a parallel universe...but not in this one as far as I recall). 

MichiganTeacher

October 7th, 2014 at 8:18 PM ^

This is the most pessimistic future THE_KNOWLEDGE has ever revealed to us.

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yes

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Now the truth can be revealed. All of his previous claims of space-time continuum interruptions, his post-season prediction shifting, all his rosy predictions, now the reason for all of them is obvious. He was trying to protect us from the real future.

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yes

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BlueHills

October 7th, 2014 at 9:07 PM ^

The Knowledge is undoubtedly right.

After all the brouhaha, what's the very best way for Brandon to give us all the Finger and get his revenge?

 

AMazinBlue

October 7th, 2014 at 11:38 PM ^

but what if this prediction actually came true?  The dynamic duo continues to destroy this program to depths even we can't imagine.  I can't even imagine a situation as stupid as that.  For Hoke and Brandon to remain for another season would be the administrations admission that they really don't care about athletics and would be giving the football program the Death Penalty from within.

I can tell you this, if those two jokers are still in their current positions next season, I for one give up on this program and find anything else to do on Saturday's in the fall. These two will be the death of Michigan football if left to their own devices.

Former_DC_Buck

October 8th, 2014 at 3:58 PM ^

But if BTN would do a version of Hard Knocks that would be some damn entertaining TV. Especially if they added a twist the three of them and their wives had to share one giant house. BTN could have hours of original programming each day.

EDIT: Though I suspect better until Meyer and Saban are arrested for murdering Dave Brandon for one to many inane comments during film study. Their attorney's will get them off on a justifiable homicide defense as long as they keep any current student athletes out of the jury pool.