Unverified Voracity Walks Like A Manball

Submitted by Brian on January 10th, 2012 at 11:52 AM

YES. You may have already seen this, but if you have you are probably eager to see it again. It is DT commit Ondre Pipkins's Brady Hoke impression.

The guy has memorized the "THIS IS MICHIGAN" press conference. I give him six stars and a moon. Rivals may be giving him five soon, FWIW. Your one sentence All Star wrap up is: expect Bolden and Pipkins to move up significantly; Magnuson may drop a little.

The silver lining of last night. You know, that thing you had on in the background on mute because whenever you looked up Jordan Jefferson was being attacked by 300 pound piranhas. There are actually two silver linings:

  1. Alabama winning has the potential to push anyone on the fence about an early NFL draft entry into the "go" category. Trent Richardson, Dre Kirkpatrick, and Donta Hightower are probably not going to Jerryworld unless the Cowboys draft them.
  2. ND Nation is once again suggesting the Irish should go after Nick Saban.

It is only on the nation that something like this can be said with a straight face:

However, I actually believe that Saban might listen and that the sales pitch would be very simple and fairly effective: "Nick, you've done everything you can accomplish in college football. You've won three NC's, including two at Alabama. There's only one thing left: Dare to bring Notre Dame back to the top of the heap. Take on the challenge, including the supposed limitations that have scared off lesser coaches, men who consider themselves your rivals. Even one crown at Notre Dame would cement you as a legend who deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as Rockne and Bryant." Etc.

The nation suggests Saban should leave Alabama so he can be regarded as a college football legend on the same level as Bear Bryant. Increment your personal odds as to whether ND Nation is a brilliant, long-running piece of performance art as you will.

Top ten! Sort of, anyway. Michigan slides in front of MSU and Wisconsin in the coaches' poll and finishes ninth. The AP puts M behind both the Badgers and Spartans and has them 12th (USC's presence in the AP accounts for the other spot).

THE VENGANCE OF DOYLE WILL BE ABRUPT AND HAVE A SILLY NICKNAME. John Beilein just made himself a terrible enemy:

"A note to you guys, I got a chance to see (2012 signee) Glenn Robinson III play in Milwaukee this past weekend, and holy cow is that kid good," Doyle said on the program. "And I've got a prediction next year: I think Michigan is a Final Four team next year."

Beilein's response?

"What happy hour are you at right now?" he said in jest.

I like that the newspaper clarified that Beilein was joking. Better safe than sorry.

Speaking of Robinson III, he faced off with UNC commit and secret Mortal Kombat character JP Tokoto in a touted matchup; Robinson got the better of it on the scoreboard with 33 to Tokoto's 28 and posterized some dude:

Rivals was impressed:

Already a four-star prospect who ranks #34 nationally in the class of 2012, Robinson continues to take his game to new heights. With near 6-foot-7 size, a great frame, deep range and plenty of athleticism, Robinson is one of the most efficient wings in the country.

Capable of operating as a jump shooter, Robinson also has a high post game, scores at the rim and finishes on the break. While he doesn’t rely on his athleticism, he has the ability to attack and put people in the rim when he needs to just like his father used to do.

Sounds like the second coming of Hardaway with an extra inch or two. I bet he sees some time at the 4 when Michigan goes small; take whatever minutes Novak gets down there and hand them to Robinson. Or maybe McGary if he has the quicks to guard other fours.

Rivals is not super reliable—remember that they moved Burke down after his senior year in HS—but GRIII (and McGary, and now Stauskas) has consensus.

Q: could we see the return of the 1-3-1 at times next year? Length is a key if you're going to run it and Michigan has not had much of that in Beilein's tenure at M. When the 2012 class hits the floor that will change. Many lineups will have just one player—Burke or Brundidge—shorter than 6'5". Right now it's a once-in-a-while way to give up an open three and not get an offensive rebound; with that length it could be the turnover machine it needs to be if it's going to be effective.

Bill O'Brien upshot. It may have some positive impact for Michigan:

…if reports are true, O'Brien won't be on Penn State's campus immediately -- and the wait could potentially extend past a very important deadline. According to Boston Herald Patriots beat reporter Ian Rapoport, O'Brien will remain the Patriots' offensive coordinator throughout the playoffs. And while the NFL playoffs start this weekend, the Patriots' season won't be ending so soon. New England is the top seed in the AFC, meaning the Patriots have a bye week this week, and are the favorite to make it to Super Bowl XLVI.

That would take O'Brien's tenure as Pats OC out past signing day. O'Brien has less than a month to assemble a staff and get those guy out on the recruiting trail, and he'll be trying to do that while also watching Tom Brady call all his own plays on the field. This version of The Process is sure to shake some additional recruits free.

Michigan would dearly like it if one of them was MA CB Armani Reeves. Reeves just saw his recruiting contact axed, which has Ohio State fans yo-ho-hoing about pirating Camren Williams and Reeves. If Williams shakes free that would remove a big point in PSU's favor… and move it wherever he goes. Like maybe Ohio State. Hurrah.

Reeves is planning on a visit to Michigan this weekend, though.

Yes, you absolutely are. LIES from ESPN executive Burke Magnus:

"I sense that people who run college football and run the conferences obviously are not tone-deaf, and Mike's comments I think were reflective of where this group is," Magnus said. "They intend to give thoughtful consideration and discussion to every possible format consideration that there is. That's encouraging."

Legends and leaders. QED. Burke Magnus was grown in a vat, by the way. An executive vat. I'm disappointed the interviewer here didn't take the opportunity to ask if ESPN was comfortable forcing colleges to lose money on bowl games they own.

This is is unalloyed good news, though:

"We like the concept of a meaningful New Year's Day, not that it's not meaningful now," Magnus said.

Anything that breaks up the parade of Big Ten mediocrity on NYD is welcome. For one, I'd watch those games if they weren't on at the same time. For two, it destroys the concept of New Year's Day as a thing to aspire for when 6-6 teams regularly wander in from their mandated eight-day Cristal turbo-massages to poop all over tradition. In their Quest For Marketing programs have taken formerly meaningful metrics (bowl game, NYD bowl game) and bastardized them so they say "went .500" and "finished in the top six Big Ten teams." Any pushback on that is welcome.

Truth beyond parody. The Onion attempts to satirize punting, instead creates alternate reality:

In a league-wide poll, head coaches from all 32 teams were asked if they enjoyed punting, and to describe how much enjoyment it made them feel. All 32 answered "no" to the first question, and either "none at all" or "very little" to the second.

Only two respondents answered "very little" instead of "none at all": Cowboys coach Jason Garrett, who admitted he may have been confused by the question, and Denver coach John Fox, who said he took some comfort in the fact that punting meant he was voluntarily relinquishing possession of the ball and that his quarterback, Tim Tebow, hadn't done anything stupid with it.

There are 10-15 NFL coaches who would have answered "love it more than my children."

Etc.: Auburn running back Michael Dyer bizarrely transfers to Arkansas State to follow Gus Mahlzahn, who bizarrely took the Arkansas State job for a massive paycut. Should we check for a supervillian mind control ray in the vicinity of wherever the hell Arkansas State is?

Other burning questions: is it official Daily policy to follow the initials CCHA with "gongshow" at every opportunity? How is Michigan going to sort out their linebackers next year? Is this bracketologist intentionally pairing five-seed Michigan with potential second round opponent West Virginia for storyline appeal or is it just coincidence? What is with Jon Horford's foot?


Steve Lorenz

January 10th, 2012 at 12:15 PM ^

A Magnuson drop would be pretty unfortunate considering he was playing out of position the entire game. The only reason he even made the move in the first place was due to injury. If that's held against him and his ranking dropped, that'd be pretty dumb. I agree it might happen though. 

Buzz Your Girlfriend

January 10th, 2012 at 1:36 PM ^

From my understanding, the new rankings are determined by watching the players in practice. The scouts can get a much better idea about coachability, football smarts, or even how players deal with new teammates. So, I don't think Magnuson will drop just because of his game performance, but maybe he underperformed during the practices as well...I think the big jumps by Bolden and Pipkins will more than make up for it.


January 10th, 2012 at 12:26 PM ^

That kid has a great attitude will thrive at Michigan.

On one hand I look forward to savoring our BCS victory for the next 9 months, but on the other, I can't wait to see this recruiting class on the field.


January 10th, 2012 at 1:34 PM ^

Unfortunately, with the economy falling apart, lots of people don't repay their debts.  I've argued the legitimacy of Ohio's collections laws to trial and appeals courts around the state.

The cool thing about my firm is that all matters, including litigation, are fixed fee - no hourly billing.

My contact info is on www.dahmanlaw.com.  Always love to work with fellow MGoBloggers.


January 10th, 2012 at 12:38 PM ^

"For two, it destroys the concept of New Year's Day as a thing to aspire for when 6-6 teams regularly wander in from their mandated eight-day Cristal turbo-massages to poop all over tradition "

That's the problem with 35 freaking bowl games, too.  I like having plenty to watch, but this is getting absurd.  Too much damn money.


January 10th, 2012 at 12:52 PM ^

He's an NC recruit and his dunk (in the video you posted) right before GRIII's was equally impressive, a spin move followed by a two hand slam.

It's going to be fun having GRIII's athleticism on the team next year.

panthera leo fututio

January 10th, 2012 at 2:10 PM ^

We'll probably see both these lineup combinations on the floor at some point next year:

1) Burke
2) Stauskas/Brundidge/Vogrich
3) Hardaway
5) McGary

1) Burke
2) Hardaway
4) Smot
5) McGary

It'll be interesting to see how minutes shake out next year, but however they do, we're going to see a lot of size, skill, and athleticism.

panthera leo fututio

January 10th, 2012 at 2:51 PM ^

So I'll admit to not really knowing the difference in offensive responsibilities between the 2 and the 3 in Beilein's system, but a backcourt of Hardaway, GRIII, and Burke would seem to have all the requisite bases covered in terms of ball handling, shooting, and quicks. (And as Brian references in the main article, those guys would be an absolute terror in a 1-3-1). However you break out wing responsibilities, I'd have to imagine that Beilein will be able to accomodate Hardaway and GRIII on the same wing at the same time.

Blue boy johnson

January 10th, 2012 at 5:00 PM ^

I hope to never see Glen Robinson at the 4, unless of course he grows a couple more inches and matures physically like his Papa, at which point I would still prefer he plays the 3.

There are 80 minutes at the 4 and 5 spots. Next season the options will be McGary, Morgan, Horford, Smot, and Mclimans. There are not enough minutes to give those guys sufficient minutes, Why force a slender, skilled, true freshman, small forward to play out of position in a very physical conference? I don't see the need. Obviously, in certain game situations it may be advisable to go small, but as far as actually playing the 4 for Robinson, I hope to see it not.

panthera leo fututio

January 10th, 2012 at 9:42 PM ^

How many times have you seen any two of Morgan, Horford, and McLimans on the court at the same time? It seems like Beilein sees each of those guys pretty strictly as a five, and I doubt that you see any of them get much time at the four next year. McGary looks like he's got some pretty solid perimeter skills, so you might see him play alongside one of the above, but I really think that minutes at the four are going to be primarily split between  Smotrycz and Robinson. Given the beast level of McGary/junior-year-Morgan and the rebounding ability of Hardaway, I don't think that this will be at all a problem against most teams.


January 10th, 2012 at 1:06 PM ^

However, I actually believe that Saban might listen and that the sales pitch would be very simple and fairly effective: "Nick, you've done everything you can accomplish in college football. You've won three NC's, including two at Alabama. There's only one thing left: Dare to bring Duke to the top of the heap. Take on the challenge, including the supposed limitations that have scared off lesser coaches, men who consider themselves your rivals. Even one crown at Duke would cement you as a legend who deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as Krzyzewski." Etc. How can he resist?



January 10th, 2012 at 1:05 PM ^

ASU (NTASU and NTotherASU) is vastly underrated.  It is in Jonesboro, the largest city in northeast Arkansas!  Its a "regional center for manufacturing, agriculture, medicine, education, and trade," which is pretty cool.  AND The Mall at Turtle Creek just opened in 2006 replacing the Indian Mall as the primary shopping destination in northeast Arkansas.  So its got that going for it, which is really nice.



January 10th, 2012 at 1:54 PM ^

Michigan is already much improved in rebounding this season. During all of last year, the team won the rebounding battle in only 11 games. This season, U-M has outrebounded its opponent in 10 of 16 games and was tied in rebounding in two others. Indiana outrebounded them by only 1, Iowa St. by 3, Western Illinois by 5, and Maryland by 10.


January 10th, 2012 at 1:28 PM ^

" Ohio State On Verge of Stealing Two Penn State Commits?"

Of course it then goes on to say:

  "It's unclear whether Meyer offered a scholarship to Reeves, who holds offers from top programs across the country, or whether Reeves is even interested in the Buckeyes."

Fantastic job fellas, it's unclear if Reeves was offered, or if Reeves told Urban Meyer to F off, but we're on the verge of stealing him!!


January 10th, 2012 at 1:42 PM ^

The idea that Saban would want to go to ND is only slightly less silly than the idea that Saban could run a clean team that would be anywhere close to their standards. But losing makes one desperate. And the scary thing is, with Saban, who knows when he'll want to leave because he's not getting enough love. You'd think to the NFL, since failure there has to be galling him, but...who can read that guy?

Thank you Tim Tebow for most likely assuring the Pats will be in the playoffs at least one more week.

And why are people going to Arkansas State? Haven't you been paying attentions? People are giving LIMBS to recruit guys down there...


El Jeffe

January 10th, 2012 at 1:52 PM ^

Couple of unrelated thoughts:

  1. How many times did the letters "M-A-G-N-U-S" appear, in that order, in this post? It has to be a record.
  2. At what point does "posterizing" become "teabagging"? GRIII FTW!

My name ... is Tim

January 10th, 2012 at 2:15 PM ^

That ND Nation thread gets even more epic! After one of the posters reality checks the OP saying there is no way Saban will come because he won't be able to win a national title when he can't oversign, etc. some guy asks if ND should shut it's program down if it can't win a national championship! 

"I see no hope for being the #1 team in college football in the near future, therefore... Notre Dame... you must... GNARFLE THE GARTHOK!"


January 11th, 2012 at 1:19 AM ^

but I just bookmarked Magnus's blog "touch the banner" because of all the nice T&A.  There's a reason why we have scantily clad cheerleaders at football games.  Also, pretty good football info.