OT: Jim Harbaugh's Guide To Marital Bliss

(and with the disclaimer that I'm not actually married myself but in a 12-year relationship)

Yes, marriage takes work.  But if you're doing it right, most of the time it doesn't feel like work.

Married 3 years, and clearly what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

I'm just posting because I read the OP as "Jim Harbaugh's guide to MARTIAL bliss", and wanted to find out whether he was pro-nunchuk or anti-nunchuk.

Jim Harbaugh has been married and divorced before, so I hope he has found a winning formula. The thing is, he doesn't really know, and he won't know until the kids are grown and she still decides to hang with him. Neither of them knows for sure, it's always a work in progress. I'm just glad he feels happy and confident it's working, hopefully she does too. 

Fuck that shit. I love Harbaugh but I ain't following that advice. Sure this wins the women's but OH HEYO NAW

I'm doing this wrong. You just tell them what to do and they do it? That's just not my style. With how little Jim's home, though, that's probably perfect for them. Those coaches are never home, so they probably have to do more stuff.

Jim Harbaugh has a 7 figure salary and is almost never home.  Not sure how his marriage advice would apply to any of us.

Except maybe mGrowOld, who also has a hot wife and a lot of money.

If your mate asks your opinion on something, and you have no strong feeling as regards alternatives presented, it is much, MUCH safer to say "I have no preference." Simply saying "I don't care" can occasionally lead to hurt feelings (or worse).

I mean I love my wife, but I don't think she is a very good decision maker in certain situations (she married me, amirite!?).  If I was to follow Jim's advise on this, I would likely be broke (amongst other things).  I find myself in those certain situations to challenge her and, when possible, try to convince her to do the exact opposite of what she wants to do.  It's hard, but it works.  And for the betterment of both of us.

We'll see how long I can get away with it.

Some pretty funny responses here. As a wife, I want to know that my husband can handle anything thrown his way, all the difficult stuff life has to offer, and if he doesn't know how, he at least knows how to ask for help. I want him to respect my opinions and listen, but to speak up if he disagrees and have a conversation about it. I wouldn't want a man who just rolls over and does every thing I say. And I certainly don't need a man to be my leader. Sometimes in a situation, like talking to our kids' coaches, my husband just does a better job because he's played sports. He talks the talk. Other times, I'm better at the task at hand. 

 

Advice to unmarrieds: make sure you know how the two of you fight and solve problems before you get married. Have stuff in common besides sex and wanting a family. Marry someone who's smart, but who doesn't always need to be smarter than you. Make sure you really like each other. 

and learning apply in all situations of life, especially with women, and the one whom you've chosen to spend your life with. When you learn how to love and appreciate her, the benefits come back in ways you cannot imagine.

Live. lust and learn. It's a guidepost for life, liberty and the pursuit of passion and joy. Find a loving woman and make her feel loved physically, emotionally and spiritually, and you will complain like a rich man paying taxes, it will hurt only because of what's been taken from the value of your investment. She is alwaysthe centerpiece of your net worth.

 

My wife and I will enjoy our 25^th wedding anniversary in about a week (woohoo!). In my experience, marriage involves a ton of compromise on both parts. If she’d rather see The Choice (i.e. the latest chick flick) than Dirty Grandpa tonight, then I’m good with that because she knows to stay out of my way on Michigan Football Saturday, no matter how many chores there are for me on that damn list in her head.

So you could describe that as “I do everything my wife tells me to do” but it’s also true that she’ll do everything I tell her to do too.

And to point out the obvious, Mrs. Harbaugh V2 very much supported Jim’s desire to leave the sunny climes of California and move to Ann Arbor. She did, in effect, do what he wanted her to do (thank God!).

I think Harbaugh was trying to be more funny than exact. It would have been better to use “wants” instead of “tells.”

Whoever owns the vagina makes the rules.

Old guys married 20 plus years all say the same thing...when momma is happy everyone is happy and the opposite is also true. Guys who want to win all the little battles end up losing.

only married a decade so I still do chores "the wrong way" so that out of frustration she'll just do them herself the next time.

not something you feel.

Coach knows this.

Lots of chicks on here today faking like they are dudes.

My wife has certain specific ways she wants some things to be done. If I don't feel strongly about it, of course I'll do it her way - why wouldn't I? Similarly, I have certain ways I like things to be done, and where she doesn't mind, she does it my way. On the things we have clashing methods for, and both feel strongly about, we negotiate. Sometimes this negotiation results in one of us realizing the other is right. Sometimes we realize we really don't care. And sometimes we realize that we don't agree, in which case one of us takes that task and does it their way. (The running joke is "I would do that for you, but you'd just have to redo it anyway.") But really, it's all about figuring out what's important. Sometimes it's not what you think.

My wife and I had one agreement before we got married. Death or Prison. If we got married, that was the only way out. If both of us couldn't agree to those terms of a relationship which meant one would be dead and the other would be in prison, we agreed we shouldn't get married in the first place. It's worked for 9 years and only a few times have we come close to using that rule. 

46 here. Sound advice but really guys, how easy is it to do EVERYTHING your wife tells you to do? Answer: not very.

It's not like so many young guys are thinking. He doesn't mean get down and lick the dirt off he boots, and if she loves you, she won't ask. He means when she says she wants a flower bed on the side of the house, get some timbers and bust sod. If she says she'd like it if you'd watch the baby instead of the game while she runs an errand, do it. You'll even want to.

In return, she's gonna learn just how you like to watch M games and make sure you get to. She's going to let you plan what that flower bed looks like- she WANTS you to.

You're gonna ask her to buy fewer knickknacks so the budget is less tight, and she's gonna ask if you can have a beer at home rather than the bar to free up some cash. And somewhere in the middle of doing chores for each other, she'll throw a sock at you, you'll chase her down, and the laundry can wait while there's sweet, sweet lovemaking.

15 successful years.  No idea how.  

"Who do you think has more freedom? The married man in America, or the single man in China?

I'm going with the single man in China. The single man in China can leave the house, but not the country. The married man in America can leave the country, but not the house."

-Larry David

All kidding aside, I told my friend after I was married a while that marriage is all about compromise. He said you've got to be kidding me, why would you ever get married? Five years later, after he had been married a while, he told me he knew exactly what I meant by compromise.

It's amazing how your perspective can change 180 degrees.

it is called training. you are the trainee not the trainer

It's an attitude of servanthood that Harbaugh is describing. When married couples serve one another, it usually continues on pretty well. Not rocket science, but most of us are too prideful to take Harbs' view. Good for him. When momma's happy....we all happy