On Being Steve Buscemi
So, about that game against that school: does anyone else feel a little bit like Marge Gunderson right now?
As the rest of the world laughs at Dave Brandon's decision to dredge up a not very nice thing that happened a while back I keep thinking of the scene at the end of Fargo where Grimsrud is in the back of the squad car, mute, as Marge tries to figure out what's in his head:
MARGE ... So that was Mrs. Lundegaard in there? She glances up in the rear-view mirror. Grimsrud, cheeks sunk, eyes hollow, looks sourly out at the road. Marge shakes her head. At length: MARGE ... I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. Grimsrud's head bobs with bumps on the road; otherwise he is motionless, reactionless, scowling and gazing out. MARGE ... And those three people in Brainerd. No response. Marge, gazing forward, seems to be talking to herself. MARGE ... And for what? For a little bit of money. We hear distant sirens. MARGE ... There's more to life than money, you know. She glances up in the rear-view mirror. MARGE ... Don't you know that?... And here ya are, and it's a beautiful day...
Marge is trying to comprehend an alien intelligence's decisions. That's where I find myself today. I can't begin to fathom the kind of thinking that would go into scheduling Appalachian State again. I get there are reasons, just like Grimsrud had reasons, but for the reasons to win out over the costs the kind of value judgments that are going on in the decision-maker's head must be frightening.
Meanwhile, instead of being mute Brandon is reminding us not to shoot anyone. Thanks, Dave Brandon. I'll try to remember not to shoot anyone this fall. Then there's this:
Oh, each team wanted to win. Players mentioned how their nerves came into play. There were sweaty palms, and probably a few "yips" on the green. And when the match was over, there was some fun "trash talk," but there were more laughs and hugs -- and respect for each other.
Not being mute is only exacerbating this divide.
We've had hints of this for a while now, but this is the last straw: Dave Brandon is not a Michigan fan. He may want Michigan to win but he has no concept of what the fanbase thinks is important. In the last year he's suggested or executed the following:
- moving the Ohio State game to midseason
- putting Michigan in a different division than Ohio State
- curly fries in Michigan Stadium
- a sponsored spring game
- a mascot
- scheduling The Horror: The Squeakuel
He has failed to:
- summarily execute Special K on the diag
In the aftermath of people blowing up about these things, he wrote jerky emails and said he "can't see how it would be a negative" to dig up the most infamous upset in NCAA history. These are not good signs. Dave Brandon is going to create the future whether you like being put in a wood chipper or not.
ALIEN VERSUS HORROR NEUTRAL BLOGGER REACT ROUNDUP
this is the single dumbest scheduling decision we can remember, and the most craven once since Indiana sold out one of their own Big Ten home games to play at a "neutral site" full of Penn State fans.
No matter what happens, greater glory is paid the lowest point in the history of the Michigan football program in exchange for national television exposure. This is Michigan football becoming a celebrity rehab patient. This is Michigan's amateur sex tape that no one wants to buy. We're beginning to think Dave Brandon is not a very smart person. We're beginning to also think this will all end with this Michigan team losing this game in 2014, and then beating Florida in the 2015 Outback Bowl.
the athletic department has scheduled what it’s going to have to call a revenge match with Appalachian State, a concept too hysterical to even contemplate.
Aug. 30, 2014, is two days shy of the seventh anniversary of the most stunning upset in college football history, long enough for everyone involved in Appalachian State's 34-32 miracle in the Big House to have graduated, retired or otherwise moved on from the respective programs, but not nearly long enough for Michigan fans to get over the festering humiliation that sent the program into a four-year spiral from which it's only beginning to emerge.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:14 PM ^
People are seriously overreacting. Scheduling them means getting the shittiest team that will still guarantee entertainment to the fans. It's a craven business decision, but its reality when you need a creampuff on the schedule to balance on the new B1G.
Plus, since when are we afraid to play anyone?
August 26th, 2011 at 4:42 PM ^
Did you watch the game in 2007? We have absolutely no idea how "creamy" ASU will be several years from now so that's not really a good point.
August 26th, 2011 at 4:57 PM ^
People were freaking out less when we scheduled Alabama.
August 26th, 2011 at 5:32 PM ^
Because, seriously ... Losing to Alabama would hurt, sure, but wouldn't be forever after known as THE HORROR. I have to agree with those whose sentiments run along the lines of "Only three things can happen by playing Appy State again, and two of them are bad."
August 26th, 2011 at 5:22 PM ^
We can pretty much safely assume that ASU won't be as good in 2014 as it was in 2007. They were in the midst of the best three-year run in school history at that time. They've since become just another solid FCS team. Also, their coach is probably nearing retirement.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:14 PM ^
Lately Brian has been a tad to emo for me but this post is spot on...DB for all his good is seriously f*cking evil and has no idea WTF the fan wants. As others have mentioned Michigan needs none of the piped in music, mascots etc as the team itself is the "brand", and the stadium is the mascot.
I'm not scared that history will repeat itself just that we've been bombarded with all these dumbass events/specials/NEW JERZSEEZZ.
All you richie rich types are up in your fancy boxes so please GTFO my lawn and let me sit outside under the cold November sky and watch our team kick some Buckeye ass.
August 26th, 2011 at 6:53 PM ^
for saying my thoughts with such precision. If I wasn't on MGoApp (NTA) I'd +1 you sir. Or ma'am, or both, whichever applies.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:16 PM ^
that michigan has summarily defeated colorado two out of three times make this image any less painful?
michael westbrook catching a kordell stewart hail mary
August 26th, 2011 at 3:24 PM ^
Do the two wins lessen the pain? Not really.
But the passing of SEVENTEEN FREAKING YEARS kind of did the trick for me.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:18 PM ^
Why are curly fries a big deal, again?
August 26th, 2011 at 3:23 PM ^
Apparently, Brian thinks Michigan is too good for fast food. Only explanation I can think of.
August 26th, 2011 at 4:02 PM ^
anything above and beyond typical stadium food of the last 40 years is aimed at being a "thing" instead of just being "something." so, its "i want curly fries!!!" instead of "i better hurry my ass up and get a pretzel so i can get back to watching the game."
August 26th, 2011 at 4:28 PM ^
anything above and beyond typical stadium food of the last 40 years is aimed at being a "thing" instead of just being "something."
Respectfully, I think you guys are way overthinking this particular issue.
August 26th, 2011 at 5:15 PM ^
the offseason
August 26th, 2011 at 4:40 PM ^
Arby's curly fries were the mascot at the Big Chill last year, and advertising in Michigan Stadium = bad. Although Dave Brandon has said football Saturdays will not have commercial advertising ever, so many can forgive other sporting events' advertising in the Big House.
Though I just imagined what would happen if Dave Brandon started selling stadium space for advertising. Would that be enough to sway even the most liberal of Michigan fans against Dave Brandon, or would people like the idea of bringing in A LOT of money into the athletic department?
August 26th, 2011 at 4:41 PM ^
Double post
August 26th, 2011 at 3:24 PM ^
1. The level of discourse here has really gone downhill. In the first thread about this rematch, MGoShoe, who used to be pretty good, called everyone complaining about this game pussies. I guess EDSBS, Doc Saturday, et al. -- you know, the really good bloggers who aren't affiliated with U of M -- are pussies, too. That's sarcasm. Neutral observers think this is dumb, too. It's reasonable to be against this game. It doesn't mean you are a pussy.
2. The Horror messed me up. I slept fitfully for a month afterwards. "Hot Hot Hot" kept running through my head. SEC and Miami fans (I was living in Miami) brought it up constantly. It was miserable. Why would I want there to be anything that reminded me of that? I'm not a pussy; I'm rationally interested in my mental health (insofar as someone whose mental health is affected by a game can be rational).
3. Hoke better f--king prepare for that game, unlike his predecessor. (No ad hominem attacks just because I wasn't a Lloyd fan. I felt something like the Horror was bound to happen because of Lloyd's philosophies. He had a lot of good qualities, but his bad ones led to the Horror.)
August 26th, 2011 at 3:41 PM ^
...to be contrarian sarcastic viewers of the college football landscape. If we're buying into the meme they're developing then all we are are victims.
And yes. You whiners are still pussies. I don't really give a rat's ass if you think this makes me not "good" anymore.
I'm sick of the criticism of Dave Brandon. I'm sick of the criticism of Hoke. I'm sick of the willful dismissal of clear evidence that doom is not upon us.
I'm out. Cancel my subscription.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:52 PM ^
Sick of the criticism of Hoke? HUH?!
Unless I missed something about his goatee not being quite as awesome as Mark Schlereth's, I'm not sure what you could possibly be talking about.
August 27th, 2011 at 12:56 AM ^
Holly maybe, but Doc is neither especially contrarian nor sarcastic. I don't think either of them qualify as what you're saying they are.
August 26th, 2011 at 4:39 PM ^
In response to JMK, who says "Neutral observers think this is dumb, too."
It took me a matter of seconds on Google to find a "neutral" observer who doesn't think this is dumb. Here's what Brian Bennett, ESPN blogger, had to say:
Give some credit to the Wolverines for scheduling the Mountaineers again. That upset probably hastened the departure of Lloyd Carr, though the team bounced back to finish 9-4 and beat Florida in the Capital One Bowl. While this game presents the opportunity for revenge, Michigan is also taking a chance here because Appalachian State is an FCS powerhouse that usually fields a really good team.
The Wolverines should still have enough talent to beat a team from a lower level, but lightning has already struck once here. Can you imagine the reaction if Appalachian State pulls off another upset in the Big House?
Either way, it's a fun start to the 2014 season, as a lot of people will be watching or talking about this game when it could be another snoozer of an opener against an FCS opponent. One thing we know: Michigan won't look past Appalachian State in 2014.
And MGoShoe is not just still "pretty good," he's one of the best posters on this site, and it will be a huge loss if his "I'm out" was serious.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:32 PM ^
I kind of agree with Brian that DB doesn't understand what the fan wants. The game is a bad move but really just the last straw. Am I the only one that didn't care about the jumbo trons? I was quite shocked how interested everyone was about it.
This really is turning into more than a business than I am comfortable with. Perhaps I am naive to the current state of CFB
August 26th, 2011 at 3:44 PM ^
Quadruple post. Impressive
August 26th, 2011 at 3:56 PM ^
about Hoke turning the tide on the rivalry and selling jerseys in Ohio?
August 26th, 2011 at 5:09 PM ^
kind of agree with Brian that DB doesn't understand what the fan wants. The game is a bad move but really just the last straw. Am I the only one that didn't care about the jumbo trons? I was quite shocked how interested everyone was about it.Or maybe it's the reverse - perhaps he has his finger on the pulse better than you or Brian do. (By your own admission, you were off on the issue of the scoreboards.) Annarbor.com's poll on this game finds that most fans either approve of this game or don't care. It may or may not be a representative sample, but in any event, I don't see a poll that suggests the contrary.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:32 PM ^
I kind of agree with Brian that DB doesn't understand what the fan wants. The game is a bad move but really just the last straw. Am I the only one that didn't care about the jumbo trons? I was quite shocked how interested everyone was about it.
This really is turning into more than a business than I am comfortable with. Perhaps I am naive to the current state of CFB
August 26th, 2011 at 3:32 PM ^
I kind of agree with Brian that DB doesn't understand what the fan wants. The game is a bad move but really just the last straw. Am I the only one that didn't care about the jumbo trons? I was quite shocked how interested everyone was about it.
This really is turning into more than a business than I am comfortable with. Perhaps I am naive to the current state of CFB
August 26th, 2011 at 3:32 PM ^
I kind of agree with Brian that DB doesn't understand what the fan wants. The game is a bad move but really just the last straw. Am I the only one that didn't care about the jumbo trons? I was quite shocked how interested everyone was about it.
This really is turning into more than a business than I am comfortable with. Perhaps I am naive to the current state of CFB
August 26th, 2011 at 3:44 PM ^
If Michigan scheduled a top I-AA/FCS team or a mid-tier I-A/FBS team NOT named App. State and lost to them, it would be even more shameful. If Michigan beats App. State, they will even the all time record at 1-1. I think Michigan should make a 4-1 home/away deal with them. The more we play App. State, the better. I'm completely fine with Brandon's decision.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:48 PM ^
One again, Brian falls victim to the idea that if he thinks it, the majority of people think it. Once again, he is wrong.
As the votes go up, the percentages haven't really change. 80% either like it or don't care (about 50-50 of those). 20% actual think it's bad. So "the rest of the world" must consist mean "Brian and his immediate friends and family, and bloggers he likes".
And complaining about sponsoring and curly fries and souless moves for a buck takes balls on the same day you have a post where you're selling little kid's shirts for $34 (w/ S&H)?
http://mgoblog.com/content/unverified-voracity-trolls-free-press
https://ugpogo.undergroundshirts.com/groupIndex.php?cart_id=626
I mean pot, meet kettle. Now if only you'd show some of those balls when it comes to scheduling.
August 26th, 2011 at 11:16 PM ^
Nobody calls us "chicken!" No, dammit, we've got the "balls" to schedule one of the VERY BEST Div. I-AA teams, and we'll prove to the world that they can't beat us two straight on our home field!
August 27th, 2011 at 2:01 PM ^
But it has nothing to do with "getting them back" (though evening up records against anybody is nice), but showing, or at least acting, like it doesn't bother you. It's not being "chicken" to play App St (though again, some around here are), but chicken to have the game replayed on tv, or mentioned by a talking head. The fact that teasing or remembering is going to make one fall in a heap and start sucking on their thumbs. Showing balls is to stop being such an infant about everything, man up and take your medicine rather than whining about it like a little girl who had her candy stolen.
August 27th, 2011 at 7:26 PM ^
Now we're "taking our medicine" by scheduling teams we otherwise have no particular reason to schedule. In that case, it sounds like our AD is being played by Appy State's AD. Whatever happened to "This is Michigan!"?
August 29th, 2011 at 9:33 AM ^
That actually creates some interest. As hundreds of posts in many threads have shown here. It's that, or EMU.
The way it should be worded is "scheduling teams we otherwise have no particular reason NOT to schedule" (acknowledging the double negative and redudant use of "schedule"). The only reason I've seen so far is "because they'll talk about the last game, and my feeilngs will be hurt" (and the rare, sad "but they might BEAT us!!!"). Otherwise, what reason is there to not play them? If it works on the schedule, is more fun than Baby Seal U du jour, and they'll take the pay out, why not? I don't think we HAD to play them. I just don't see the reason not to. Other than the whining, which is what I was saying people had to man up about.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:55 PM ^
I want Michigan to have a winning record against every school we play. The only way to do that is to play Appalachian State again.
August 26th, 2011 at 6:46 PM ^
isn't having a winning record last time I checked.
August 26th, 2011 at 7:02 PM ^
I almost added: (Which, yes, means I want to play them twice more).
I went with brevity.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:55 PM ^
thank goodness gameday is only 8 days away!
August 26th, 2011 at 4:08 PM ^
This is indeed a very Sparty move.
August 26th, 2011 at 4:12 PM ^
August 26th, 2011 at 4:49 PM ^
Every loss sucks, home or away. That isn't going to change. I was at those two games too and I've gotten over it. That doesn't mean this isn't a silly idea. Hell, I'd rather play the other team you mentioned Oregon again, they've beat us twice in a row where is your burning passion for that rematch???
August 26th, 2011 at 4:16 PM ^
Why are people shocked that when you hire someone to run a $100 million a year operation, they manage it more like a businessman than a fan. One of the things that I personally take pride in as a Michigan fan and alum is that we have an athletic department that is in the black. I'm also excited that we have an AD who seems extremely engaged in supporting his coaches. While Hoke himself deserves plenty of credit, I believe Brandon does too. I know that many people here hated the proccess, but I think Brandon handled it in a way that provided Hoke the best chance of success. Because of the way it was handled, secind guessing related to Harbaugh has been minimized, I suspect that Brandon has also helped with the support from ex-players, alum and the media. I care much more about that then I do about a 2014 non- conference game
August 26th, 2011 at 4:24 PM ^
Because no previous Michigan AD has ever "managed" the "operation" in such a silly fashion, and few if any other ADs of Michigan-caliber schools are "managing" there's in such a silly fashion.
I'm entirely indifferent as to whether the Athletic Department is in the black. If anything, I don't want it to be a "stand-alone" entity, since it's supposed to be part of the school.
I can't begin to understand the logic that says the school's sports teams are somehow less worthy -- of expenditures or otherwise -- if they don't turn a "profit."
August 26th, 2011 at 4:31 PM ^
It's not the profit itself I care about - it's not having tuition dollars going to pay for athletics. I respect your right to disagree, but could you at least post some rationale reason for suggesting I'm wrong?
August 26th, 2011 at 4:38 PM ^
Sure. 90%+ of varsity sports don't earn a profit and IM sports don't earn a profit. I'd want them to be part of campus life whether or not football/basketball made enough money to support them.
I'd much rather have tuition dollars fill whatever holes there are in the budget, than give Dave Brandon carte blanche for every stupid idea he has -- a list that, on all available evidence, grows by the day.
August 26th, 2011 at 5:14 PM ^
There is zero chance the university would ever consider subsidising athletics. It doesn't even give athletics a fair deal as it is (the AD has to pay out-of-state tuition for all scholarship athletes, regardless of where they're from). The only possible way we can have a big-time athletic department is for it to be self-sufficient. You can debate the merit of certain particular moves (I didn't like that the Big Chill was sponsored by Arby's), but you have to be realistic about the parameters Brandon is operating within.
Incidentally, your charge that Brandon is the first AD here to run things as though it were a business is not very true. It was his predecessor, Bill Martin, who introduced the concept of tiered pricing and championed the stadium renovation. Martin also briefly floated the idea of selling naming rights to the Michigan-OSU series. Going back a little further, Don Canham basically introduced the whole concept of sports marketing. Pretty much every AD we have ends up getting criticized for "thinking too much about money."
August 26th, 2011 at 5:25 PM ^
But I am glad that I went to a school that had a great ath
<br>Etic department and didn't use my tuition dollars to finance it
August 26th, 2011 at 4:39 PM ^
You think that the whole Rich Rod era was hanled well? How about the basketball coaching circus? I'd much rather play Appalacian State then have to go through all of that again. I am not saying Brandoon is perfect, but if the worst thing to gripe about is Appalachian State, I'm pretty happy. I am curios, who is the athletic department we should aspire too?
August 26th, 2011 at 4:40 PM ^
August 26th, 2011 at 4:54 PM ^
Brandon did put him in a tight spot as far as the 2011 recruiting class went, but overall I thought the "process" ended up working out quite well. Over the course of a month, Brandon threw a bone to every faction in the fanbase. He gave RR more rope to hang himself (the bowl game), gave Harbaugh a chance to take the job, went to see Miles and at least talked to him, and then offered the job to Hoke. By the time Hoke took the job, the fans were primed to accept him, following the bowl debacle, the Harbaugh rejection and whatever went down with Miles.
Now imagine if he'd simply hired Hoke in December. The pro-RR faction would be upset that RR wasn't given the bowl, with its 15 practices of prep time, to show what he could do. The pro-Harbaugh and pro-Miles factions would have been bitterly disappointed that Brandon didn't give their guys a fair shot. Those factions might never have warmed to Hoke. We could have gone into 2011 with a far more divided fanbase than we have.
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