all-blank teams

The Big Ten has released their all-conference teams and awards, and as usual we are baffled and opinionated.

WHAT THE HELL?

Ace: Sorry, sorry, I realize that isn’t a specific question.

Seth: No it is the appropriate response. "Lol" is the only other conceivable one.

Brian: I think we have to start having basketball coaches watch basketball. This thing where they don't do that isn't working out.

Seth: Here are their selections, fwiw:

COACHES

Player of the year/DPoY in bold, *means he wasn’t a media selection.

Freshman of the Year: Hunter Dickinson, Michigan
6th Man: Andre Curbelo, Illinois
Coach of the Year: Juwan Howard, Michigan

MEDIA

Freshman of the Year: Hunter Dickinson, Michigan
Coach of the Year: Juwan Howard, Michigan

[We’ll talk about all of this at the jump. Spoiler: no, we can’t be bought off by giving Dickinson 1st team if that 1st team has four true centers]

It's still offseason, so I'm still coming up with ways to turn my spreadsheets Michigan fan bar arguments into content. This one asks which class did the best job of loading up per position. We'll do the units too at the end.

Rules: Since 1990. Transfers count for the year they joined the team. Contributions at that position (but not at others) count. Underrated/Bust is a measure of what we got versus what people thought of the class when they signed. Janus is the Roman two-faced god, for the class with the highest highs and lowest lows.

More All-Michigan [Blank] Teams: 5-Stars, 3-Stars, 4-Stars O/D, Pros O/D, 1879-Before Bo, Extracurriculars, Position-Switchers, Highlights, Numbers O/D, State of Michigan, Names, Small Guys, Big Guys, Freshmen

Quarterback & Running Back

Only controversial to the haters. [Upchurch]

1st Team: Class of 2009

Give Rich Rodriguez this: his first full class was everything we thought Peanut Butter Jelly Time would be. Denard Robinson accrued over 10,000 yards at Michigan: 6,250 (8.4 YPA) passing and 4,495 (6.2 YPC) rushing. There were 49 touchdown passes that ended with #EATING motions, and 42 touchdown rushes that ended with a kneel. Classmate Tate Forcier flamed out in the end but not before the Year of Moxie and bailing Denard out of some holes in 2010; we'll always have 2009 Notre Dame.

And that was just the quarterbacks. Fitzgerald Toussaint has a good claim for best back at Michigan since Hart, even if we had to add "Poor Damn" to his later career. Vincent Smith was a part of some of the most memorable plays of his era (including those that aren't about Clowney), and has a spot on any team as the perfect third down back.

Those guys left little for tiny Technician Teric Jones, who moved to cornerback later in his career.

[After THE JUMP: Biggest Bust, Most Underrated, Biggest Janus, etc.]

I started a bit of offseason content during the long offseason so I might as well finish it. I'll post the 3-, 4-, and 5-star teams next to each other at the end and link a poll if you want to compare.

What is this? I'm making a team of Michigan four-stars since 1990. Offense is here. For the writeups I gave up on focusing on the recruiting rankings because compared to 3-stars (there's always a reason) and 5-stars (there's always a story), 4-star recruitments are boring. Instead I'll try to tell you something about the guy you didn't know.

More All-Michigan [Blank] Teams: 5-Stars, 3-Stars, Pro Offense/Pro Defense, 1879-Before Bo, Extracurriculars, Position-Switchers, Highlights, Numbers Offense/Numbers Defense, In-State, Names, Small Guys, Big Guys, Freshmen

Rules: Lower bound: must be a four-star to at least one major ranker of his era, and average over 4.0 stars on the Seth scale. Upper bound: cannot a 5-star to anybody or average higher than a 4.50 on the Seth scale. Since 1990 because data go back that far. College performance considered only.

Defensive Tackle

Left: photo via Maize and Blue Nation. Right: Bryan Fuller

Mo Hurst (2013) burst into the consciousness of recruiters with a play he made while on offense, as the nation delighted in the fullback shrugging off eleven overmatched Northeastern schoolchildren for a 70-yard touchdown run.

The rest of the tape was the dude teleporting into the backfield. His coach used "yay" as an adjective.

The recruiting comp for Hurst was Mike Martin (2008), whom Brian described as "pulsing" and "a single twitching muscle." A wrestler and "crab person" for his perfect pad level, the Detroit Catholic Central committed to Lloyd Carr in June and stuck when the staff switched. In the interim he blew up, with his film showing a slab of muscle running down ballcarriers like a linebacker. Because Michigan had just experienced The Horror while this was happening, every recruiter checked in with Martin to ask if he's sure he wanted to "be on a sinking ship."

All of that negative recruiting might have helped Michigan keep Martin in the fold when Notre Dame made their serious run at him in November; according to Mike he was swayable right up until his Notre Dame recruiter started his visit by badmouthing Michigan. If everyone else started their pitch with why he shouldn't choose Michigan, that probably meant they knew Michigan had the most to offer. I have his contact so I might reach out about bringing back this shirt:

[After THE JUMP: Even I can't make Dan Rumishek interesting, but I can certainly make you appreciate uninteresting]