Michigan All-Name Team Comment Count

Seth August 21st, 2018 at 11:01 AM

Lead image from here.

Previously:

This week: I went through the entire Bentley database.

Rules: He has to be in the Bentley database, and I can only use a guy once, preferably where he played most.

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QUARTERBACK:

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Puckelwartz was unfortunate to have played at the same time as M's greatest ever QB

  • Giggle giggle I'm a 12-year-old: Bill Puckelwartz (HM Don Moorhead, Irv Uteritz)
  • Most esteemed member of an extremely exclusive Ann Arbor men's sitting club: Louis A. Brunsting Jr. or Ignatius M. Duffy
  • Best Nickname: John "Piggy" Pighee
  • Rolls off that tongue: Jim Breaugh
  • The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the: Tate Forcier
  • I could listen to Keith Jackson say this all day: DiAllo Johnson
  • Most literal: Matt Wilde
  • In the mystical and mysterious land of: Forrest Evashevski
  • Most presidential: Jack Kennedy
  • Best galactic overlord: Chris Zurbrugg
  • Good luck Ace: Harry Stuhldreher, Jr.

[After THE JUMP: Butt, Jokisch, Furbush, and some names you haven't heard]

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RUNNING BACK:

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His performance against Chicago in 1933 is not the reason Everhardus edges out Mike Cox

  • Giggle giggle I'm a 12-year-old: Herman Everhardus (HM Mike Cox, Michael Shatusky, Paul Gannatal)
  • Most esteemed member of an extremely exclusive Ann Arbor men's sitting club: Norman B. Purucker (HM Fitzgerald Toussaint)
  • Best Nickname: Elroy "Crazy Legs" Hirsch (HM: Chalmers W. "Bump" Elliott)
  • Favorite Author: Ralph Waldo Beymer
  • Best reason: John Batsakes
  • Best MGoBlog handle: J. Paul Raeder
  • Best at keeping rosterizers on their toes: Ross Taylor-Douglas
  • Your first name is more last name than your last name: O'Neil Swanson
  • I could listen to Keith Jackson say this all day: Harlan Huckleby
  • Best movie star: Willie Heston
  • Favorite traveling baseball team: Stanley Knickerbocker
  • Most literal: Ricky Powers (HM Tony Boles, Walter Cross, Mike Hart, Harry Workman, Kareem Walker)
  • Good luck Ace: Tshimanga Biakabutuka

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FULLBACK:

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(Ace)

  • Giggle giggle I'm a 12-year-old: Dick Balzhiser (HM Roderick Cox, Ralph Chubb, Spencer Dickow)
  • Most esteemed member of an extremely exclusive Ann Arbor men's sitting club: Wallace M. Frankowski
  • Best Nickname: Khalid "Hammerin' Panda" Hill
  • Your first name is more last name than your last name: Cyril Quinn
  • I could listen to Keith Jackson say this all day: Leroy Hoard
  • Most literal: Burnie Legette
  • Most yep you're definitely a fullback: David G. Mongeau, Leroy Hoard, Jarrod Bunch, Bob Thornbladh
  • Good luck Ace: Fritz Seyferth

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TIGHT END:

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Butt. [Fuller]

  • Giggle giggle I'm a 12-year-old: Jake Butt (HM Jon Heffelfinger)
  • Most esteemed member of an extremely exclusive Ann Arbor men's sitting club: August Henry Oversmith
  • Best Nickname: Zentry
  • Most 1930s comics villain: Solomon Sobsey
  • That sounds healthy and delicious: Ed Frutig, Gustave Fervert, George Greenleaf, Donovan P. Hershberger
  • Most likely to star in a horror franchise: Frederick Krueger
  • I could listen to Keith Jackson say this all day: Mustapha Muhammad
  • I felt bad listening to Keith Jackson having to say this all day: Paul and Mark Schmerge
  • Best use of postwar overabundance of vowels: Bennie Oosterbaan
  • Best dinosaur: Richard U. Rex
  • No, he's not related: Jack Harbaugh
  • Most literal: Paul Seal (HM Michael Jocz, Karl Staatz, Tom Stincic, Matt Studenski)
  • Probably why Jon Falk retired: Alex Mitropoulos-Rundus
  • Good luck Ace: John K. Galarneault

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WIDE RECEIVER

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(Ace)

  • Giggle giggle I'm a 12-year-old: Dan and Paul Jokisch (HM Unwana Ubom, Derek Woodmore)
  • Most esteemed member of an extremely exclusive Ann Arbor men's sitting club: Yale VanDyne
  • Best name of all time for fan participation: Eddie McDooooooooooom
  • Best videogame hero: Mario Manningham
  • Best Harry Potter villain: Felman Malveaux
  • Best Star Wars character: Triando Markray
  • Best Game of Thrones character: LaTerryal Savoy
  • Best wrestling move, The: Donovan Peoples-Jones
  • Most likely to accidentally come up in Michigan Daily Archives searches: Bo Rather
  • Most likely to accidentally come up in a Google.fr search: Jason Avant
  • Best Intergalactic Overlord: Zion Babb
  • Best Mythological Deity/Car: Mercury Hayes
  • Best Invention as Seen on HSN/Your local Bed Bath & Beyond: Zia Combs
  • Best app: Mo Ways
  • Best 11th Century Norman Nickname: Matt DeYoung
  • I could listen to Keith Jackson say this all day: Amani Toomer
  • Punning Headline Writers' Challenge of the Century: Jeremy Gallon
  • Most likely to confuse a tired history major on a Late Antiquity bluebook exam: Livetius Johnson
  • Punning Michigan Engineering Alumni Magazine Headline Writers' Challenge of the Century: Julian Searengin
  • Worst thing to ever happen to tables on MGoBlog since Juwann Bushell-Beatty: Donovan Peoples-Jones
  • Good luck Ace: Olatide Ogunfiditimi

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OFFENSIVE GUARD:

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Linemen of the '40s knew to fear the name Merv Pregulman [UM Bentley]

  • Giggle giggle I'm a 12-year-old: Ernest J. Allmendinger
  • Most esteemed member of an extremely exclusive Ann Arbor men's sitting club: William J. Van Orden
  • Coaches' favorite: Milo F. Sukup
  • Best tincture: A. Burgess Vial
  • Most likely to stump your mom in a game of "One of the greatest DTs in the game's history, or pharmacist?": Mervin Pregulman
  • Most literal: John J. Powers
  • Most likely to be mistaken for Jeremy Ciulla: Zac Ciullo
  • Most first names: James Edward Johns Junior
  • I could listen to Keith Jackson say this all day: John Arbeznik
  • Drink some water: John Mihic
  • Biggest nose: Stanley Broadnax
  • Most Amazing: Greg Wonderli
  • Obviously squatting: Thomas Landsittel
  • Good luck Ace: Tom Wansdersleben

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OFFENSIVE TACKLE:

bhl_bl019368_full_2513_1913__0_native

Prettyman began as a Rusher then played four seasons at forward . He returned after taking the '87 season off to play center then finally grew into a tackle his final two years[UM Bentley]

  • Giggle giggle I'm a 12-year-old: Stanley Muirhead
  • President of the Ann Arbor men's sitting club: Horace G. Prettyman
  • Best Nickname: John Stuart "Jumbo" Elliott
  • Best Coffee: Rostom Tandourjian
  • Best Internet Service Provider: James K. VanBlaricom
  • Most impossible Google: Steven King
  • Whatever Angus G. Wants: Angus G. Goetz
  • Name that's too obviously a pseudonym that famous hobbits use at hotels Barvey Underhill
  • Your first name is more last name than your last name: Guy Curtis
  • I could listen to Keith Jackson say this all day: Greg Skrepanek
  • Best 1960s cartoon character: Rocko Khoury
  • Most literal: Bob Wahl (HM Mark Huyge, Rock Lindsay, Kenneth Shields)
  • Most fictional: James T. Balog
  • Won't have to change your name when you open a private physical training center: Victor Method
  • Employee of the Month at Victor Method: Dave Trainer
  • Good luck Ace: Pat Olszeweski (HM: Thomas Guynes)

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CENTER

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Unlike Jack Kennedy and Ben Harrison, 1930s Michigan center Gerald Ford had a U.S. President's name before the guy became president [UM Bentley]

  • Giggle giggle I'm a 12-year-old: Jim Dickey
  • Giggle giggle I'm a 2-year-old: Virgil R. Pampu
  • Most esteemed member of an extremely exclusive Ann Arbor men's sitting club: Raymond Vanderzeyde
  • Tastiest pasta dish: Rolie Zagnoli
  • Worst nickname: Eric "Matt" Elliott
  • Most honest: William Eschtruth (HM Richard D. Farrer)
  • Most presidential: Gerald Ford
  • Least presidential: Ted Kennedy
  • Fairly presidential: Benjamin Harrison Southworth
  • I could listen to Keith Jackson say this all day: George Zuganellis
  • Your first name is more last name than your last name: Coleman Wallace (HM Robert F. Timm)
  • Best film noir detective: Guy Murdock (HM Floyd Morse)
  • Best film noir director: Bill Muir
  • Most literal: Rod Payne
  • Biggest mystery though we have his height to half an inch: "?? Yale", who's 5'11-1/2/184 lbs on the 1895 team
  • Favorite character in Chrono Trigger: Wayne F. Melchiori
  • Good luck Ace: Richard Szymanski (HM Dwight R. Tousignaut. Jim Czirr)

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DEFENSIVE TACKLE

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"Will Carr" nets 5,490 results in the Daily database, 20 of which refer to the player [UM Bentley]

  • Giggle giggle I'm a 12-year-old: Freddie Kountz
  • Least likely name to belong to a 280-pound nose guard: Claire Purdum
  • Most esteemed member of an extremely exclusive Ann Arbor men's sitting club: Cloyce E. Hanshue
  • Mo' Hurts: Mo Hurst
  • Most likely to accidentally come up in Michigan Daily Archives searches: Will Carr
  • Best Nickname: Sylvester "Buster" Stanley
  • Most literal: Carl M. Savage
  • Parents couldn't agree on a spelling: Elisha Elijah Sayad
  • Pay the players already: Edward Poorman
  • Count de: Bryan Mone
  • Uses own name for D&D character: Cecil Freihofer
  • Let's count: Michael Dwumfour, Ninef Aghakhan
  • Holy: Paul Flajole
  • True name of the ring-poisoned wretch following you around: Joseph Schmiegel
  • I could listen to Keith Jackson say this all day: Steve Rekowski
  • Metal or things made from metal: Mike Hammerstein, Will Carr, Jason Horn
  • Good luck Ace: Roger Szafranski

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DEFENSIVE END

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Glenn Steele is one of the main reasons Michigan's defense was so metal in the '90s [UM Bentley]

  • Giggle giggle I'm a 12-year-old: Russell Damn (HM: Clinton Spearman, Gerrit J. Diekema)
  • Most esteemed member of an extremely exclusive Ann Arbor men's sitting club: Richard VanTongeren
  • That sounds unhealthy and delicious: Taco Charlton, Jake Frysinger, Wesley Dierberger
  • "Shibboleth" for Michigan fans: Juaquin Feazell
  • Best nickname: Roger "Rocky" Rosema
  • Metal or something made of metal: Glen Steele, Shantee Orr
  • I could listen to Keith Jackson say this all day: Mario Ojemudia
  • Impossible to Google, we've tried: Chris Rock
  • Name your dog can pronounce: Craig Roh
  • Most literal: Chase Winovich
  • Good luck Ace: Carl Cmejrek

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LINEBACKER

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I was just the right age to think "Rusty Fichtner" was a hilarious name. Now I don't remember what I thought a Fichtner was. [UM Bentley]

  • Giggle giggle I'm a 12-year-old: Noah Furbush (HM Adam Fakih, Rusty Fichtner)
  • Most esteemed member of an extremely exclusive Ann Arbor men's sitting club: Prescott Burgess
  • Best 11th Century Frisian Nickname: David Devich
  • Worst Marvel Cinematic Universe character: Randy Stark
  • Best 5th Century BCE Harbinger of Destruction: Paul Girgash
  • Best Holiday: Michael J. Day
  • Best Mood: Marty Huff
  • Best body part: Ed Wojtys
  • Best consulting firm: Kerwin Waldroup
  • Your first name is more last name than your last name: Anthony Jordan, (HM Jordan Anthony)
  • Who? Mike Jones
  • Tastiest BBQ: Jeff Smokevitch
  • Tastiest tailgate snack: Carlitos Bostic
  • Tastiest beverage: Mike Lemirande
  • Tastiest dinner: Jamie Mignon
  • The reason we can all pronounce the 'H' in "White": Dhani Jones
  • Best tractor: John Duerr
  • Best vacuum: Matt Dyson
  • Best game on after 8pm Eastern: Sanford Washington
  • Favorite character from Final Fantasy II or IV or whatever it was II when I played it: Cecil Pryor
  • Least likely to belong to an athletically limited white guy from Holland, Michigan: Desmond Morgan
  • Toughest on the Bentley Library's OCR:
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  • Best rapper: Jay Rau
  • I could listen to Keith Jackson say this all day: Clint Copenhaver
  • Metal or made of metal: Sam Sword, Ian Gold, Jarrett Irons
  • Most metal: Rob Swett
  • Good luck Ace: P.J. Cwayna

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SAFETY

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The current staff's sole contribution to the MGoBlog prospector naming convention is to call J'Marick Woods "Woods" because he brings the Woods. [Patrick Barron]

  • Giggle giggle I'm a 12-year-old: Woody Brown
  • Most esteemed member of an extremely exclusive Ann Arbor men's sitting club: Horace T. VanDeventer (HM: Willis Barringer, William B. Calvert)
  • Metal or made of metal: Josh Metellus
  • Best nickname: Thomas "Prison Abs" Gordon
  • Wood, made of wood, or lays the wood: J'Marick Woods
  • Favorite place to read a book on a warm summer day: Garland Rivers
  • Favorite figure from Roman history: Cato June
  • Least googleable: Steven L. King
  • I could listen to Keith Jackson say this all day: DeWayne Patmon
  • Favorite Sci-Fi Hero: Ernest Shazor
  • Most literal: Tony Blankenship
  • Best imaginary compatriot: Raynor Freund
  • Good luck, Ace: George Ceithaml

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CORNERBACK

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Sure he was mostly a safety but it was funnier here. [Eric Upchurch]

  • Giggle giggle I'm a 12-year-old: Woody Hankins (HM Boubacar Cissoko, Dieter Haren)
  • Most esteemed member of an extremely exclusive Ann Arbor men's sitting club: Channing Stribling (HM Tad Van Pelt)
  • Favorite character from a Steven King novel: Linwood Harden
  • Best nickname: Myles "Spider" Sims
  • Biggest catch: Marlin Jackson
  • Most beloved television character from the 1950s: Alfie Burch
  • OMG Shirtless: Marion Body
  • Favorite character from Wheel of Time: Thom Darden
  • Greatest King: Kurt Kampe III
  • Favorite Egyptian deity: Ra-Mon Watkins
  • Most likely to confuse a tired history major on a French Revolution bluebook exam: Jean-Agnus Charles (HM Francois Montbrun)
  • Delicious and spicy: Markus Curry
  • Thanks for shortening: Tajuan "Ty" Law
  • I could listen to Keith Jackson say this all day: Charles Woodson
  • Evil alternative dimension Jim Harbaugh: P.J. Brumbaugh
  • Your first name is more last name than your last name: Donovan Warren
  • Most likely to sell you this whirdingiest doohicky to ever zerp: Donald M. Zanfagna
  • I still can't spell this: Jeremy LeSueeur…Leseuer, LeSueur…
  • Mainstream media still can't spell this: Troy Woolfolk..Worflolk, Woolfork, Willflrok?
  • Not Tloy Wilfork either, MSM: Travis Wooley
  • Good luck Ace: Robert Krejsa

 

SPECIAL TEAMS

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Dick Sygar (18) and Dick Vidmer (27) in 1966 [UM Bentley]

  • Giggle giggle I'm a 12-year-old: Dick Sygar (HM: Steve Breaston)
  • Most esteemed member of an extremely exclusive Ann Arbor men's sitting club: Dammond R "Monte" Robbins
  • Best Intergalactic Overlord: Zoltan Mesko
  • Worst name for a kicker: Todd Schlopy
  • Ever worse name for a kicker who came right after Schlopy: Rick Sutkiewicz
  • Favorite 1980s Saturday morning PBS science show host: Karl Tech
  • Best bourbon: Pap Sanneh
  • Worst thing to contract: Paul Peristeris
  • Favorite streetmarket hawker: Camaron Cheeseman
  • Good luck, Ace: Ankit Kachhal

Comments

KennyGfanLMAO

August 21st, 2018 at 1:51 PM ^

(Admittedly replying to the top comment so this can be seen)

 

Could we do an All-Personality team? I've only been a hard core fan for the last 10 years, so I'm limited.

QB - Devin Gardner/Jake Rudock

RB - Karan Higdon/Vincent Smith

WR - Junior Hemmingway/Roy Roundtree/Desmond Howard

TE - Zach Gentry/Jake Butt

OL - Grant Newsome/Cesar Ruiz/Graham Glasgow/David Molk

DL - Rashan Gary/Chase Winovich/Brandon Graham/Mo Hurst

LB - Jabrill Peppers/Dhani Jones

DB - Charles Woodson/Jourden Lewis

K - Quinn Nordin

P - Zoltan Mesko

(Edit: I'm at work, so I didn't put a boatload of though into this so I'm sure I missed a lot of great personalities.)

J.

August 21st, 2018 at 11:28 AM ^

When Tshimanga Biakabutuka doesn't win in the Keith Jackson category, I can only assume you've never heard Keith Jackson say "Tshimanga Biakabutuka."  There is no finer sound known to man.

Berger04

August 21st, 2018 at 11:33 AM ^

Prettyman from 1888....Who said that looked good??? He looks like a 1800's Wild west Abercrombie model instead of a football player. Thank god for the invention of helmets. I couldn't imagine Gary and Winovich in little knit hats

Seth

August 21st, 2018 at 11:41 AM ^

Michigan volunteered to be the training center for every which thing: Speaking Japanese, Engineering Officers, etc., so while other schools were scrambling to replace the guys who got drafted (or just not playing, e.g. MSU) we were gathering up all these star players who'd enlisted and gave them the choice of either joining the football team or doing 4am calisthenics with the track team. Guess what all the star football players chose?

Wave83

August 21st, 2018 at 5:58 PM ^

This was my first thought as well. 

Dickey was the mediocre QB who was the starter during most of my freshman year, 1979, in the shadow of Leach.  Wangler was the backup who could pass (especially to the new freshman, Anthony Carter -- Wangler to Carter).  It was said at the time that Bo was content with BJ most of the time, but when he needed to go deep, he had to whip out the Wang.

I mean, get this on your 12-year-old line.

Roy G. Biv

August 21st, 2018 at 12:15 PM ^

Olatide Ogunfiditimi was the first name that popped in my head when I saw the title.  Tyrone Butterf(ingers)ield was another.  And all those unpronounceable eastern and central European names (much like my own) on the sidelines.

Eng1980

August 21st, 2018 at 12:53 PM ^

This list stirred up many, many good, great memories.  I forgot all about Marion Body.  I recall a few comments about his name.

Bunch, Boles, Hoard, Biakabutuka were always names that put a smile on my face.

Is Tripp Welborne on the sitting team?  Is there room for Vada Murray somewhere?

I remember the crowd cheering the first few times that Grapentine (or was it King) that pronounced Biakabutuka's name correctly and without hesitation.

ST3

August 21st, 2018 at 1:18 PM ^

Dieter Haren is actually Dieter Heren, and I know this because I giggled as a 12 year old (and a 48 year old) at his name.

My brother and I used to kick field goals in the backyard. We'd take turns and the person not kicking got to rush the kicker and try to block the kick. When it was my turn to rush the kicker, I was always Dieter Heren. One of my favorite memories of childhood is celebrating my blocking a field goal attempt from my brother while yelling, "Dieter Heren! Dieter Heren!" I had an unusual childhood.

DonAZ

August 21st, 2018 at 1:24 PM ^

The "I could listen to Keith Jackson say this all day" category is brilliant ... and it brought back a flood of memories of watching Michigan football with Keith Jackson.  The all-time winning Keith Jackson name is, of course, Harlan Huckleby.  I can hear Jackson saying that as I sit and type this.

dragonchild

August 21st, 2018 at 1:33 PM ^

I would've pegged Cesar Ruiz as either Favorite Figure from Roman History or Best 1st Century BCE Harbinger of Destruction, but you can't have everything, and I may be committing a capital offense to anyone who studied Latin.

Anyway, I see four complete categories here:  All-Entendre Team, the Exclusive Ann Arbor Men's Sitting Club, Ace's Roster Homework, and Keith Jackson.

Rufus X

August 21st, 2018 at 2:22 PM ^

This is fantastic.  Could have worked in Dean Dingman somehow - maybe a 50s teen beach movie villain?  Corwin "Cornflakes" Brown for best nickname?  And I still think, despite the unfortunate ending, that  Tate Forcier was an all-timer.  Thanks for the work!

FieldingBLUE

August 21st, 2018 at 2:31 PM ^

As a Dutchman with a "Van" moniker, I find the stereotyping of my people as such an integral part of a sitting club to be incredibly hilarious.

You just know those cats were farmers' kids from West Michigan, who spent their teen years in the muck pulling onions and celery, man. Haha.

Though I enjoyed the Frisian and Norman 11th century pulls (no de Jonge? just Americanized DeYoung?).

Excellent work and a great way for me to kill time this morning rather than doing what I should be doing.

Fielding Van Blue

Mi Sooner

August 21st, 2018 at 4:38 PM ^

Dick Balzhiser was from east Detroit. He was a ChemE and carried a 4.0 and was married with kids.  Got his PhD in ChemE under CM Slipsovich at michigan.  He was famous for writing thee Chemical Engineering textbook on Chemical Engr thermodynamics.  Balzhiser was my dad’s advisor when he was working on his grad degree.  I never met Dick Balzhiser, but I met his advisor Slipsovich when he was a prof @OU.  OU used Balzhiser’s thermo book for some reason.