Your MGoAvatar is the new HC for The Game
I'm tired of being sad, so I figured why not have a little fun leading up to The Game.
Your MGoAvatar is now the new head coach at Michigan. Congratulations!
-How would you prepare/motivate your players?
-Pregame rituals before The Game?
-How would you deal with the media?
Have FUN (seriously, no negative crap) and go crazy.
November 25th, 2013 at 12:52 PM ^
I spend pregame scratching myself. Stupid woolen costume.
November 25th, 2013 at 12:54 PM ^
Now I see it....the teeth.....
November 25th, 2013 at 12:53 PM ^
1) Teach invisibility
2) People Hunting
3) Nuclear Option
November 25th, 2013 at 12:56 PM ^
There's probably some sort of joke to be made with mine.
November 25th, 2013 at 12:56 PM ^
Lots of MD 20/20 to dull the pain. Media? Throw up on them in a presser.
November 25th, 2013 at 12:57 PM ^
Um...this team is under construction; we thank you for your patience.
/ducks.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:00 PM ^
it's better than "404 coaches not found."
November 25th, 2013 at 12:57 PM ^
prolly flash baxter miller and make him run for safety lol.
November 25th, 2013 at 12:59 PM ^
Obviously, I'd simply back out of The Game somehow. Other than that, sadly, I'd be in the exact same boat I'm in right now...
November 25th, 2013 at 12:59 PM ^
Excellent. +1 to you good sir.
November 25th, 2013 at 12:57 PM ^
SQUIRREL!!!
EDIT: also, lots of hitch-and-go routes with a pump fake on the hitch: "HE THREW THE BALL I'M GOING TO GET THE BALL WHERE IS THE BALL?"
November 25th, 2013 at 1:05 PM ^
I've seen Air Bud 2. We'll be fine.
November 25th, 2013 at 12:58 PM ^
1) Give them all new cars
2) Find stray dogs and bring them in to be fixed
3) I'm old and don't care about the media
November 25th, 2013 at 1:02 PM ^
We'd be screwed, what with all the inpermissable benefits and such...
November 25th, 2013 at 12:58 PM ^
Blue portal stays in the end zone, orange portal gets shot wherever Devin happens to be at the time, we win 174-0 and break the all-time Michigan scoring record in a crazy season where we set both highs and lows for the offense.
November 25th, 2013 at 12:59 PM ^
Yo! Let's do this thang
November 25th, 2013 at 2:14 PM ^
That's my line!
November 25th, 2013 at 12:59 PM ^
Mine is my eldest when he was three ( 7 now) so:
1) Complete Super Marios Wii U all the way through, including hidden levels.
2) Sing the Sponge Bob Squarepants theme song before the game.
3) Ask them if they have Juicy Juice and Goldfish to snack on while answereing their quesitons.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:00 PM ^
Horace Prettyman would probably suit up and kick ass.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:01 PM ^
I am a sign
November 25th, 2013 at 1:01 PM ^
info comes out about me covering up for all my criminal players at Florida. NCAA comes down hard and suspends me until further notice.
LOL, who we kidding...NCAA having actual ethics or authority to administer said ethical conduct.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:03 PM ^
I have experience!
I am good at yelling "BRENDAN!" in case we need another quick FG attempt.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:03 PM ^
Dig myself a nice deep hole, hibernate for the winter, come back out in the spring and do the same damn thing all over again.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:03 PM ^
My gameplan would likely be frowned upon by many.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:14 PM ^
As would mine.
MANBALL!!! Oh wait, that hasn't worked at all.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:03 PM ^
ROCKET NOVAK WILL SAVE THE DAY.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:09 PM ^
SPACE BITCHES, SPACE
November 25th, 2013 at 1:03 PM ^
-
I'd focus more on looking like a good successful team, rather than actually trying to be one.
-
Just your average pregame Safety Dance.
- Tell them I needed to find a cure for boneitis, or there would be a new coaching vacancy next season.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:11 PM ^
Knowing you, you'll probably forget about your boneitis, and be too busy being an 80s guy. Then you'll die with one regret: having bonitis
November 25th, 2013 at 1:03 PM ^
I am the night fury, I will attempt to BURN DOWN THEIR HOUSES AND EAT THEM, and they will work very hard to have this not happen. I think this will improve their speed and agility, OR THEY WILL DIE.
My pregame ritual will be TO TRY TO EAT THEM, they will avoid this with their speed and agility, OR THEY WILL DIE.
THE MEDIA WILL DIE.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:03 PM ^
by running up the pant legs/skirts of the cheerleaders, as soon as I get out of this trap.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:05 PM ^
I know next to absolutely nothing about football but I do know that proper stretching will reduce the risk of injuries and a delicious pre-game meal made of Gluten-free noodles and baked vegitables will reduce the risk of cancer and other illnesses.
And this is a very creative and funny thread idea by the way. Good job OP!
November 25th, 2013 at 1:49 PM ^
Stretching does not necessarily reduce the risk of injuries: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15233597. There are more studies on both sides, but the ones in favor of stretching tend to be older. FWIW, I have been a non-stretcher for almost 15 years and have had two injuries. In both cases the cause was muscles being too loose (which allowed tendons to get pinched inbetween joints). Of course, n=1 and it seems as though Mrs. mgrowold's plan is working for her...
November 25th, 2013 at 1:55 PM ^
If she wants to stretch in that outfit, why are you trying to stop her?
November 25th, 2013 at 2:59 PM ^
Hold the phone. I didn't say anything about stopping. I only refuted that stretching prevents injuries. By all means she should be stretching...just not to prevent injuires.
November 25th, 2013 at 2:18 PM ^
count the stretching as proctice time though. The NCAA is funny about that for some reason.
If there are any Freep reporters around for the streching session be sure to point out the buffet line to distract them.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:04 PM ^
I have aged since the avatar photo was taken, I am now 23 months old. I prepare for the game by drinking apple juice. I motivate my players by throwing my sippy cup at them if they don't make me happy. I call plays by picking up blocks from my favorite block puzzle, the plays will be written on the underside of the piece by my loyal assistant coach/dad.
In positive news, I can now say Michigan, Go Blue, Wolverines, and Ohio Stinks thanks to dedicated positive reinforcement by my loyal assistant coach/dad.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:05 PM ^
- Do Roids.
- Have our buddies kill a guy.
- Throw our blood soaked clothes away.
- Testify against our buddies.
- Become Super Bowl MVP one year later.
- Announce retirement.
- Start using banned substances because they'll never catch us with just two games left until retirement.
- Win Another Super Bowl.
- Ride fictional death raven in Old Spice Ad.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:05 PM ^
You see the scoreboard up there? We should have scored more points than the opposing team. We should have gained more yards and played better defense.
Well, looks like my job here is done. Goodbye everyone!
November 25th, 2013 at 1:06 PM ^
then hit them with a flying jet pack wrist missile, then say "they're fine to me dead"
**takes bow**
November 25th, 2013 at 1:06 PM ^
Mock your intelligence in pressers for asking stupid questions
Call everyone around him "IDIOTS" (including DB)
Pop a vicodin (perhaps offer to share with injured players...or even wounded MGoBloggers)
Search for the root cause of what ails M Football after 2-3 rounds of futility
Scheme, manipulate people
Solve the problem himself, wearing a headset and firing Borges midway through the 2nd quarter of the 2nd game of total ineptitude...
Whip out his Stratocaster and join the MMB duirng the halftime show
(Thanks to the OP for a lighter tone post...and HOUSE is MADE for this role!)
November 25th, 2013 at 8:26 PM ^
November 25th, 2013 at 1:07 PM ^
Coo and try to avoid shitting myself, ultimately failing with embarrassing futility. Then cry tears of eternal sadness realizing that there no longer is Denard to grasp as he once would leap into the stands following a victory...
November 25th, 2013 at 1:10 PM ^
Well, since I really am a doctor, I have no business pretending I know how to propertly coach a football team.
But if I had to, I would probably take them to Bo's grave, and give the best speech of my life the night before the game.
Then make sure everyone was cycling appropriately on their steroids. Poison the water wherever Ohio was staying to make sure half the team got some form of digestive disease. And still pray to God we had a chance.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:18 PM ^
is more cowbell!
(and bubble screens)
November 25th, 2013 at 1:13 PM ^
I would climb the highest mountain in the park just because I can. Take on creatures that are 10 times my size and win.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:13 PM ^
I know what my avatar would do to folks at the pressers anyway....