What would you write to the team on the eve of the Purdue game, if you could?

i'm sure you all want to go to a bowl game and want to send the seniors out on a high note, so go out and win this F'ING game. go blue.

LET IT BE JOE TILLER!

Just win. OK? OK.

man up

"You're Michigan Wolverines. Now nut up and fucking play like it."

Whoa whoa whoa, Miss Lippy. The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think, "You got a pet. You got a responsibility." If your dog gets lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog! OR Let's pay these fuckers back for last season and go to a bowl game!!

I'm former President Gerald Ford. Do you like football? Do you like nachos?

I don't know what to say really. Three minutes till the biggest battle of our professional lives. It all comes down to today. Now either we heal as a team, or we're gonna crumble. Inch by inch, play by play, till we're finished. We're in hell right now, gentlemen. Believe me. And we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb out of hell. One inch at a time. Now I can't do it for you. I'm too old. I look around, I see these young faces, and I think... I mean I've made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make. I pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who's ever loved me, and lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror. You know when you get old in life, things get taken from you. That's part of life. But you only learn that when you start losing stuff. You find out life's this game of inches. And so is football. Because in either game, life or football, the margin for error is so small. I mean... one half a step too late or too early and you don't quite make it. One half second too slow too fast, you don't quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They are in every break of the game, every minute, every second. On this team, we fight for that inch. On this team, we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when we add up all those inches, that's gonna make the fucking difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying! I'll tell you this - in any fight, its the guy whose willing to die who's gonna win that inch. And I know if I'm going to have any life anymore, it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch. Because that's what living is! The 6 inches in front of your face... Now I can't make you do it. You've got to look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes. Now I think you're gonna see a guy who will go that inch with you. You're gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team, because he knows when it comes down to it, you're gonna do the same for him. That's a team, gentlemen. And either we heal, now, as a team, or we will die, as individuals. That's football, guys. That's all it is. Now, what are you going to do? or FUCK SHIT UPP

Play like you have nothing to lose, and leave it all on the field.

And please win.

rage, rage against the dying of the light....

"Gentlemen, this is it. Let's Go!"

for Mallett.

If you don't win on Saturday, little Timmy (photo enclosed) will go to bed hungry and probably die. Love, Tim Waymen, DMD/MD-PhD P.S. Be sure to loosen up out there, boys!

Tate.. you better not suck it up! Because if you do, I'll take you on! I know I can take you! So you better be ready and man up, otherwise you've got a world of hurtin' coming your way. (Channeling OSU crazy fan dude)

Get after it hard. Get after it fucking hard. I don't care if you mess up. I don't even care if you lose. But you had better leave it all on the damn field and you better play like you're going to win.

no matter what happens, we have Roy Roundtree.

is something along the lines of: Give everything you have for the next 60 minutes. Play angry and punish Purdue for daring to step on our field. The entire Wolverine nation is with you. Of course if I got the chance to say it to them I would be frothing at the mouth and swearing and jumping up and down screaming. It would probably look a little like Barwis.

Please don't play like the 2008 UM Football team anymore. Go Blue!!

"Guys, last week we got punched in the dong. Hard. That is the pain that lingers. You know, Rita did that to me once and whoo boy did that smart. But that's not what's important now." "What's important now is to shake the soul death of that dong punch off. Shake it off hard guys (in the background, Barwis can be heard saying "shake it into the fucking ground!)" "Men, there's only one thing to do when you get punched in the dong that hard. You can curl into the fetal position like I did when Rita punched me, or you can stand up and punch back. You can be a Michigan Wolverine and punch them back in the dong, every last one of them. Punch their dongs with brute fucking passion. Go out there and punch dongs like a Michigan Wolverine." "And finally men....go Fuck Shit Up."

Gentlemen of the linebacking corps and secondary, just do the opposite of what you're initially inclined to do. Everything will be fine then.

ummm, can you, uhhhh, play better? That'd be great. Nnnkay?

This is my first Michigan game at The Big House and I'm coming up all the way from Florida to see you whoop ass. Play with passion for the love of all that's sacred! At the end of the day you are Michigan and it is about time to start acting like it!! You actually looked tentative and scared out there against Illinois! Illinois? WTF? Go out there and defend your turf and kick the hell out of Purdue and show them how well the snake oil really works. Please don't taint this trip with a loss! Oh and Go Blue!

win this damn game and the first round of boilermakers are on me at the party!

Varsity we're for you. Here for you to cheer for you! We have no fear for you, oh Varsity. (Oh wait somebody already wrote that.)

Should you perform poorly tomorrow, we will be sacrificing Jay Hopson to the football gods immediately after the game.

Please don't get caught on camera appearing to punch someone.

I'd hold you up to say to your mother, "this kid's gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid's gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew." And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watching you, every day was like a privilige. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain't gonna have a life.

That, regardless of what a few loud negative voices say, the fans as whole still support them. We know that they are a better team than they have shown lately, and that they will go on to turn it around and make us proud.

Play hard and remember you're Michigan.

Blood & guts/ Patton: "We're going to hold onto [the enemy] by the nose and we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're going to go through him like crap through a goose!" or Inspirational/ Bluto: "Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over till we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!" or Short and to the point/ a la Nada: "We have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass ... and we're all out of bubblegum!"

I WILL FIGHT YOU JACK KENNEDY