OT: Worst Christmas Gift You Ever Received
Easy for me...my twin brother and I asked for a "Snow Walker" from Empire Strikes Back. We wrote a letter to Santa and gave it to our parents. Woke up Christmas morning to mind a miniature model of a "Snow Walker" and my Dad saying "You both must have written your letter to Santa wrong.". LOL. 100% true.
Didn't effe up my brother and I at all once we found out Santa wasn't real. LOL
December 19th, 2019 at 6:24 PM ^
About ten years my mother-in-law gave me light-brown leather driving gloves and a matching pair of gold-tinted sun glassess. Maybe a 70's thing? Anyway, its been passed around as a gag gift amongst my friends ever since.
December 19th, 2019 at 7:01 PM ^
........do you drive a Camry/Corolla/Prius? Otherwise this an awesome gift #feeltheroad
December 19th, 2019 at 7:54 PM ^
I’d wear the shit out of those gloves n goggles.
December 20th, 2019 at 1:24 AM ^
Avatar checks out!
December 19th, 2019 at 9:33 PM ^
Ah, I got it...the interior of your car is dark gray/black and the gloves and glasses don't go with it.
December 19th, 2019 at 6:25 PM ^
I don’t get it. What was wrong about your letter?
December 19th, 2019 at 6:31 PM ^
Yea I'm left wondering about this plot hole* myself...
*(or I'm just dumb)
December 19th, 2019 at 8:16 PM ^
They wanted a real one, not a toy. Parents could not produce a real one. So dad made them think they screwed up the request.
December 19th, 2019 at 10:09 PM ^
So...I'm dumb then!
Makes sense. I assumed they wanted a AT-AT toy but got the "model" instead and I wondered how they hell the parents messed that up!
December 19th, 2019 at 6:26 PM ^
I received a new fleshlight. I asked for a gently used one.
I ordered a cam girl's panties. They were supposed to be absolutely filthy. Instead I received a new clean pair.
December 19th, 2019 at 6:29 PM ^
Back in my bad old days I had a woman try to give me a gently used fleshlight.
I still use it almost daily
December 19th, 2019 at 6:32 PM ^
Any chance of that bad boy showing up on ebay? Will pay top dollar for that fucker.
December 19th, 2019 at 7:33 PM ^
I guess if I write ew here I'll be playing right into your hands.
December 19th, 2019 at 6:28 PM ^
Clothes, when whatever they spent on them could have gone to buying another action figure or video game.
December 19th, 2019 at 6:30 PM ^
An antique bulldozer collection.
December 19th, 2019 at 6:32 PM ^
Perfume.
She's elderly and probably thought it was cologne
December 20th, 2019 at 10:16 AM ^
My mom is getting older, and her sense of smell is going fast.
Everything is horrifically over-perfumed, and she can't smell awful rotting smells coming from the garbage disposal or the trash or the dogs.
I don't know where I'm going with this story but getting old is terrifying and I don't wanna do it.
December 19th, 2019 at 6:38 PM ^
Massage table from my wife. Guess how many massages I’ve gotten compared to her...yeah terrible present and I remind her every year.
December 19th, 2019 at 7:08 PM ^
You win
December 19th, 2019 at 7:10 PM ^
I got my wife NFL sunday ticket. For some reason she doesn't use it very much. I don't want it to go to waste, so I watch it instead.
December 19th, 2019 at 7:55 PM ^
Throw that shit in the garbage.
December 19th, 2019 at 8:12 PM ^
Dude you can fly to Bali and get the most amazing massages for $7/hour.
December 20th, 2019 at 7:03 AM ^
Does that include a happy ending?
December 20th, 2019 at 7:41 AM ^
Nope. Not for 7 bucks.
December 19th, 2019 at 6:39 PM ^
My Aunt once gave us (me and sibs)custom paint sprayed sweatshirts with our names blazoned on the front in a rainbow cloud with lightening bolts. We were requested to open them at the same time. Memorable!
December 19th, 2019 at 6:41 PM ^
What is a Snow Walker?
December 19th, 2019 at 7:50 PM ^
But what did he get?
December 19th, 2019 at 8:38 PM ^
Well his dad was right. It's an AT-AT, not a damn "snow walker".
December 19th, 2019 at 9:45 PM ^
Or “Imperial Walker”
December 20th, 2019 at 6:46 AM ^
This time of year, basically anything alive in Michigan with legs is a snow walker.
December 19th, 2019 at 6:41 PM ^
My staff, knowing I love golf, gave me a new putter. A really nice one engraved with my name.
It was right handed. I am left handed.
It’s the thought that counts.
December 19th, 2019 at 6:43 PM ^
We got a company memo saying we were off on Christmas Eve at 1 p.m. Everybody was happy. Not two hours later we got another message saying that was a mistake we're all working until 5 on Christmas Eve. True Story. The Grinch is real.
December 19th, 2019 at 7:18 PM ^
Wow. In a similar vein, today, I got an email from iFly--an indoor sky diving place--inviting me to redeem my gift voucher for a free flight and offering 20% off a second flight. I was moderately excited that someone had gifted me an iFly flight, but I thought it was odd that it didn't say who it was from. An hour later, I get am email from the company stating that it was a mistake and offering a 10% discount. :(
December 19th, 2019 at 6:44 PM ^
Copies of Mein Kampf and Das Capital.
I had mentioned in passing that I had never read either but felt like I should eventually.
A few months later there they both were under the tree.
I mean thanks and all, but not for Christmas for fucks sake.
December 19th, 2019 at 7:42 PM ^
Good luck getting through MK. it reads like the rantings of a disturbed mind that clearly has a poor handle on logic and rational thought. I know this shouldn’t be surprising since, you know, Hitler. But it really is amazing how poorly written the book is.
December 19th, 2019 at 7:46 PM ^
Somehow that's not particularly surprising at all...
December 19th, 2019 at 8:22 PM ^
I read your comment and make MK = Mineral King and but for the direct Hitler reference it really works.
December 19th, 2019 at 9:09 PM ^
Yeah it was crap. Although it did give me a different perspective on the Anglo-french response to Germany's pre-war rearmament and belligerence.
He said, right in the book, exactly what he was going to do. And the only ones who took the threat seriously were Poland and Winston Churchill.
Das Capital was much more interesting. And still relevant in many aspects today.
December 20th, 2019 at 6:49 AM ^
it reads like the rantings of a disturbed mind that clearly has a poor handle on logic and rational thought.
50 Shades of Grey wound up being a bestseller though. . .
December 19th, 2019 at 9:43 PM ^
When I was 10 my grandmother gave me a book called “The Porter of St. Bonaventure’s: The life of Father Solanus Casey, Capuchin.”
I literally did not know what to say.
And the real kicker, it was used.
Still have it to this day when people don’t believe me.
December 20th, 2019 at 2:37 AM ^
it's got 4.5 stars on Amazon, can't be that bad right?
December 20th, 2019 at 4:27 AM ^
I’m guessing the star ratings among 10 year old boys are considerably lower.
December 19th, 2019 at 6:50 PM ^
December 19th, 2019 at 7:44 PM ^
Hmm. Now I’m thinking you may be my wife, which explains a lot about my ambivalence towards you as a poster.