OT - What If You Only had a Few Months to Live?

Submitted by xtramelanin on

Mates,

Today's agenda unfortunately includes going to a funeral for a friend of more than a decade who passed away from cancer this past week.   He was a wonderful, godly man, displaying to the end tremendous courage.  Indeed, the last time we were together a few weeks ago my last words to him were telling him what an inspiration he was.  

He knew his time was near, but thought it was measured in months, not weeks.  By outward signs that appeared to be true.  He talked very positively about his plans that he had to make the most of the time he had left.   His daughters were coming over to his house every week to have dinner with him.  He was supposed to be on a fishing trip with his son up in Canada this week.  There were other plans.  All gone now.  

Assume you have been given the news that your time here is also short, maybe a few months.  Assume further that you are at least reasonably ambulatory and have finances to do some things.   In honor of my friend Clint, the question is this:  What do you do with your last days, where do you go, and who do you spend it with?

XM

EDIT:  So I don't write all over the thread, thank you to the folks who expressed their condolences about my buddy.  It was a meaningful ceremony and I was fine until the very end when they did the EOW radio broadcast (End of Watch - a very particular law enforcement term) live, piped through the church sound system.  Every cop there, and me from my prior life, lost it at that point.

If you are of a mind to, pray for the family.  And pray for guys like Cali Wolverine who went through this with his wife.  Can't even imagine that.   

a different Jason

July 8th, 2017 at 10:37 AM ^

I would work as long as I could. In my spare time I would track down people who made a difference to me and thank them. I would tell all my friends how much I love them. I would pick something at my church for my wife to pay for in memory of me(new doors and locks, commercial door locks are crazy expensive). Do what I could to make it easier on my wife.

ruthmahner

July 8th, 2017 at 10:41 AM ^

Years ago, when my kids were little, I was going on a trip alone and knew there was always a possibility I wouldn't come back.  I wrote letters to each of my children, sealed them, and left them in my desk drawer.  My children are adults now, and the desk drawer has been moved a few times, but the letters are still there to be found after I'm gone.  I've added some letters to close friends and other family members, and I've written detailed instructions for how to do some of the things I do.

I guess when I know my time is running out, I'll first try to make sure everything I do is ready for someone else to take over.  And then, assuming I still have the ability and strength to travel, I'll go to the Oregon coast.

XM, honor your friend today.  I'm sorry for the loss.

golfer

July 8th, 2017 at 10:57 AM ^

first spend time with family. sneek out and go to the golf course and putt or play. i would rather not know if i have a short time left. go out fast

Mr. Elbel

July 8th, 2017 at 11:18 AM ^

Go vegan and try to be as much of a good example to my kids as I can. I've seen a few of my close friends given this diagnosis go vegan and far outlive their projected lifetime. So there's that. I'm also watching my sister inlaw slowly die from metastasized breast cancer. She has anywhere from a few months to a few years to live depending on how long her treatments work. She has been blogging her whole experience, showcasing her deepest thoughts and fears, has become a spokeswoman for those research on metastasized cancer (for which there is a large lack of awareness and funds), and has been a big inspiration to pretty much everyone who knows her. I'd wanna go down like that.

WestQuad

July 8th, 2017 at 11:22 AM ^

I actually just had a friend die of a heart attack at 46. He had some heart issues, but was otherwise in great shape. Life is short and you should spend time with people you love doing things you like. I'd probably do some sort of woodworking project, but my fantasy would be to plan and execute a bank robbery as long as no one got hurt (along with my new pet Orangutan.)

Blue Baughs

July 8th, 2017 at 11:26 AM ^

I would probably try to spread the seed to as many different women as possible, knowing that i would have no check to garnish in the future. There would be an army of interracial mini me's unleashing their fury on the world for years to come as a living tribute to me.

I would also in my last couple days accept every single religous deity in order to cover my bases in case this atheism thing doesnt work out.

 

Cranky Dave

July 8th, 2017 at 11:27 AM ^

I read a book called Chasing Daylight which is an autobiography I guess, written by a man with a terminal brain tumor. He was quite successful professionally-CEO of E&Y (or one of the other large accounting firms). This man organized his remaining time to say goodbye to dozens of people. Acquaintances would get a letter, friends a phone call and close friends/family would get in person time-a day or a weekend. I was in a plane when I read the account of his weekend with his daughter and cried like a baby thinking of having to do that with my daughter's. That's how I would spend my remaining months.

JFW

July 8th, 2017 at 11:35 AM ^

Spend as much time with family and friends as possible. Talk to them about Christ and how excited I am to see him. Enjoy the time I have with my kids unencumberes from worry.

jmdblue

July 8th, 2017 at 11:43 AM ^

UP and fish the streams until fall, then start duck and grouse hunting until winter. In the evenings If drink a 2 hearted or a Guinness or a knob creek and eat smoked chubs with a little onion and capers. I love it up there to an almost strange extent.   When winter came I'd go to the Keys to try my hand on the flats during the day and to sip papa dobles in the evening along with some nice robustos.  All of this would be accompanied by varying combinations of my two perfect kids, my GF, my sister, and 4 or five really good friends.

 

Sorry for your loss XM.

xtramelanin

July 8th, 2017 at 3:13 PM ^

with my U.P. roots, i can show you some places for both fish and fowl.   and of course i'd help you with the beer thing, purely as a selfless gesture, not b/c i would enjoy the beer.  i just wouldn't want you to feel like an outcast. 

xtramelanin

July 8th, 2017 at 7:39 PM ^

but i wouldn't want to frighten you with the crew on a first visit.  it includes 3 teenagers at this point and they are excellent at eating as they all seem to be growing.  nothing i have tried has seemed to be able to stop the process.  

there are a couple of places we can fish too that might not be on most folks' map.  if its fall then we can hunt at/near the farm, although with the 4 oldest boys playing football, most of that time revolves around that sport. 

Nobody Likes a…

July 8th, 2017 at 1:27 PM ^

I have always wanted to see Ngorongoro so that and then one final trip to Yosemite. Hopefully I'd be well enough to do the half dome hike one last time. Just stand on top of the diving board and take it all in one last time. This is also where I want my ashes dispersed from.

BigBirdBlue

July 8th, 2017 at 1:49 PM ^

I would want to travel as much as I could with my wife.  If my end of times happened to be during or around football season, I would plan on us going to watch every game of that season.  The Michigan home games would be particularly enjoyable, as I could see many of my friends/family that still live back in Michigan/Ohio, and maybe take in a game with them too.  My family isn't large, but I would ensure that I got to see all of them, and spend some quality time with them; probably make a cheesecake that we could share & enjoy.  I'd still like to experience sky diving, so that would be on my list.  And eat as much excellent food as I could while we traveled, Anothony Bordain style.

brad

July 8th, 2017 at 2:26 PM ^

I would take as much of my family as possible on a tour of the western national parks during the summer. Then, during the fall, I'd take the same group to Ann Arbor for the fall to absorb as much autumn UM as possible.

Spend the holidays in New York City, and then come back to the winter warm of Florida to die. I'd also try to consume as much beautiful French wine and hoppy beer as possible along the way.

Esterhaus

July 8th, 2017 at 3:42 PM ^

And remember the good times shared together in a positive way - for them and for myself. I've led an atypical life, engaging extraordinary events all over the globe. There's no place left on earth, in the air or under the sea I haven't visited that I could have a burning desire to experience. My family including extended family is almost all deceased or estranged despite my relatively young age. I might plant an oak tree or better yet a vineyard, believing the pleasure these could give future generations kinda help me live on. Or I might write more books or songs or screenplays to leave something behind, but I am favoring the notion of the vineyard. Good luck as a survivor, OP, someday as with each of us it will be you, and you personally are fortunate to have produced great kids who will ensure you are remembered.

xtramelanin

July 8th, 2017 at 7:43 PM ^

survivors are people who were in the breach.  not me, at least not this time.

as to your comment about being young but with family not around, maybe you could start one.  find an mgobride and go from there.  

Esterhaus

July 8th, 2017 at 4:07 PM ^

When I was misdiagnosed with leukemia as a 4th-grader (I merely had a severe auto-immune reaction to scratches by a field cat). To make matters worse, I was given the wrong radioactive dye during an intervenous pilogram and I was allergic to it. This caused me to have an out-of-body experience after complete respiratory failure, looking down on the room while the radiologist injected antidote inter alia. Now that I am older, and have done this and that, I believe I would embrace the situation far more quickly than if I hadn't gone through the earlier trials. The lesson for me, and possibly for you, is to maximize the time available if and when you have notice that death appears imminent. Every single thing on this planet dies and is reborn as something new. Just keep trying to improve life for your survivors and then you own the world.

Chitown Kev

July 8th, 2017 at 4:26 PM ^

travel to all 50 states and around the world...even Antarctica, if my health permitted it...of course, I need to get busy on all of these things because my days are numbered, regardless.

fksljj

July 8th, 2017 at 7:08 PM ^

Max out all my credit cards doing "things." Knowing my luck, my doctor would call me up later and be like "I'm not sure how to say this, but... we made a mistake with the paperwork. Good news! You're fine!"

H8anythingState

July 8th, 2017 at 9:13 PM ^

Of course I would blow up the Sparty statue and beat the shit out of Brutus in front of 100,000 fans.
Then piss on JoPa's grave.

I would die in peace.

lbpeley

July 8th, 2017 at 11:38 PM ^

A lot of your board topics are way too thought-inducing. Just had a very close friend's dad die from some stupid ass random assbag cancer. A dad who was also pretty close to me as well. He also knew it was coming. So he went with us on our annual deer hunting trip near manistique in the fall. Then he tagged along on our annual bike (4 wheeler) trip to my place near L'anse. I would like to do what he did. Which is spend time with his son and just bang it out like theres no tomorrow. Because for some apparently there isn't a tomorrow.

lbpeley

July 9th, 2017 at 12:01 AM ^

Hear too many times of some great, in shape dude getting the C or randomly dropping of a heart attack or some shit. Can't let it rule your life but it damn sure makes ya think.

Sam1863

July 9th, 2017 at 5:32 PM ^

There are too many things I'd like to do, so I'll leave it at this:

I'd have my brother come up from Florida, and we'd drive to Gettysburg. We went there with our Dad in the last year of his life, after the Old Man found out he had cancer. Dad wanted to find the 24th Michigan monument, in honor of our ancestor who fought in that regiment and was wounded there.

I'd want to sit at the foot of that monument with my brother and the bottle of good Irish whiskey he sent me last year, and drink to our ancestor and our Dad - and tell them I'll see them soon. And we'd leave enough in the bottle so that Jim can have one more after I'm gone.

And I'd want that drink to be from two heavy crystal rocks glasses - because if you're going to make a final pilgrimage, you ought to do it in style.