Unverified Voracity Loads Via Breech Comment Count

Brian

Sylvia, go to the dry cleaners and get me my indignation pants. Fire up the typewriters, stentorian columnists of America, because FL DE and Auburn signee Corey Lemonier has got a gun!

corey-lemonier-hhhhyyyyarrrHe's liable to abscond with a poxy wench! He didn't hibbencroft the mizzenmast this afternoon! WRITE WRITE WRITE THE SOCIETY IT DECLINES.

Don't forget that he probably has scurvy.

Even more Dorsey still. The WLA has a guest post up from a person with "extensive real-life experience dealing with juvenile offenders." His has some numbers on how likely an average juvenile offender is to re-offend…

My research indicates that after two years, generally speaking, a youth has a four percent chance of re-offending. To put it another way, a youth has a 96% chance of not re-offending. Mr. Dorsey, having been free of criminal activity for two years would seem to fall into this category. Even Jamie Mac would take those odds.

…and perspective on the "risk" we're talking about here:

There are a whole bunch of people out there that are wailing because Mr. Dorsey might besmirch the good name of the U of M.

Mr. Dorsey is coming into a highly structured, overwhelmingly positive environment. His cousin and positive peer will be there. He’ll have tutors and advisors and Barwis. He’ll live in a supervised residence in a city that almost forgets crime even exists. He’ll be pursuing an education that could set him for life just as likely as an NFL contract might. And the downside is that he might, might give the U of M a black eye? Wow. Life really is getting cheap nowadays.

Rodriguez's discipline track record should be judged as a whole, and with few significant incidents in the last five years it's a good one. Demar Dorsey isn't going to change that by himself, and the focus should Michigan doing whatever it can to extract him from the negative environment he was in previously. It doesn't always work—Pacman Jones—but that doesn't mean it's not worth trying.

Wojo, meanwhile, has a take on the matter that meets his usual standards of sanity. Wojo has other positive aspects, as well, but it's the not being totally insane that stands out these days.

War of the Roses. There are a ton of positions on defense where a half-dozen kids will go head-to-head for starting jobs this spring but only one spot with real uncertainty on the other side of the ball. That's tailback. Fred Jackson on his group:

“I got five or six guys here that I got to make a decision on at the end of spring to see how we’re going to shape up for camp,” Jackson said. “I don’t know what to expect from of a lot of them, but I think we have enough talent to have an excellent group. It’s just a fact that I have not had a chance to put them all on an equal playing field yet, and once I do I’ll know a lot more.”

I'm slightly worried that Jackson isn't comparing any of his guys to Adrian Peterson crossed with a killer whale, which in his language means "barely functional Big Ten player," but we'll probably get some quotes like that after spring practice.

Hello: goodbye: hello: goodbye: hello. Goodbye. Jim Harbaugh is at Stanford, as you well know, and hauled in a pretty decent recruiting class despite a whopping 19 decommitments. That makes Michigan's 2009 class look downright peaceful, and comes with Stanford coming off an excellent (for Stanford) 8-5 year in which their moose tailback almost won the Heisman.

Jim Stefani on what might be going on:

This begs an answer to the question as to why Harbaugh and staff are accepting so many verbals from prospects who are not yet admitted.  Perhaps it is in hope that will eventually qualify.  Perhaps it is to build recruiting momentum by putting together a class that looks great on paper and would attract additional prospects.  Maybe if Harbaugh goes through a couple of  difficult seasons he could in part justify the poor performance to the Stanford administration by arguing that his limited success is due to the limited recruiting universe that he can avail himself of.  He could pull out a list of all the kids that he received commitments from and tell his boss that if these kids had been accepted into Stanford the team would have performed much better.

I think Harbaugh has little choice but to recruit a bunch of guys he thinks might get in to Stanford and hope the admissions committee admits them. His alternative is to give conditional offers that kids can't commit to pending admission and watch them head elsewhere. It'll be interesting to see how long Harbaugh is willing to put up with those meddling adults before heading to greener pastures.

Strange days. So what's Bill Frieder up to these days?

The Sacramento Kings owners are Joe and Gavin Maloof and long story short, they got me into skateboarding and I run a huge skateboarding event called the Maloof Money Cup. This is competition skateboarding. We’ve got it on national television and it’s the world’s greatest skateboarding event with the richest purse. We have a half-million purse at each place.

That is… unexpected.

Minus ten million for cheese. I noticed this too when throwing together a Sporting Blog post on disappointing recruiting classes. Three Big Ten teams ended up in the top five, but one of them was not Wisconsin despite the Badgers ending up a bizarre 86th in their team rankings. This is why:

Take a look at who the Badgers signed; it’s not USC, but pretty decent group, right? Scout has it ranked at 33rd. Rivals? No lie, it’s #86. Now, I’ll just use one example here to keep this brief. Ken State is ranked 5 spots higher than Wisconsin on Rivals. They have fewer commits, and a much smaller average star rating. It’s incoherent to suggest that most, if not all Kent State commits would immediately flip to Wisconsin if they received an offer from the Badgers.

It's not that Rivals hates all of Wisconsin's recruits relative to Scout, because the Badgers finished behind a don't of teams with way worse star ratings and fewer commits. Wisconsin's 51st in star average, and would obliterate say… UTEP. Or Vanderbilt. Or Toledo. Or a couple dozen other teams they somehow finished behind. Bret Bielema's criticism of the guru industry seems well-founded, at least in his specific case.

Now I get it. Tim Brewster's "extension" does not have a raise except for some incentive clauses and reduces Coach TRY FIGHT WIN's buyout to 200k per year left. He's probably safe for this year and next, but then it's axing time.

So I think he's going to try to knock down all the pins. During the couple years I was doing standup comedy at half-ass open mics around town, one of my compatriots had a funny bit about how he couldn't really consider bowling a sport because analysis always boils down to "…so I think he's going to try to knock down all the pins."

What this reading consists of, then, is a mystery indeed:

“Bowling was probably the hardest class I had last semester,” [Austin] White said at the National Signing Day press conference. “You know, if I had like 20 pages of reading for Meteorology, I would have 40 for Bowling. And then there was a bunch of terminology and phrases that I had never heard before.”

Like… strike? Spare? Turkey? I bowl about as well as Barack Obama but I bet it's not too hard to pick up on the lingo. What does page 40 say? What about page 4?

Etc.: Even more podcast can be had at "The Michigan Man Podcast." I do my best Mel Kiper impression with Michigan's defensive recruits. Interested in rap about Demar Dorsey that slams Certain People in the media? Of course you are. Don't get super excited about Manny coming back yet.

Comments

Steve Levy Sucks

February 8th, 2010 at 3:36 PM ^

on recruiting and admissions that I have wondered about. How does it work exactly?

I hope this isn't a stupid question - but if it is, oh well.

Are there different admission standards for athletes versus the general student body?

If yes, what are the differences?

If no, then how does a coach who is recruiting an athlete, and who doesn't get at least a verbal comittment before signing day be assured that his recruit will meet the admission requirements and be accepted into the university?

Tacopants

February 8th, 2010 at 3:43 PM ^

Yes there are different admissions standards for athletes vs. the general student body. I mean, unless you believe that the average football player really came in with a 3.7 and 29 ACT.

The NCAA and the Big Ten have standards on admittance. At Michigan, the coaches have the athletes fill out an admissions application just like any other student. Undergrad Admissions is informed student X has a scholarship offer for Football, and can do a quick review to see if the student would have a reasonable chance of success at Michigan. They then tell the coaches yes or no.

WCHBlog

February 8th, 2010 at 3:38 PM ^

It's like you guys are so deep in Michigan's pocket that you didn't even listen to Drew Sharp. Dorsey hasn't committed crimes in the last two years THAT WE KNOW OF!

RichRod is so desperate to win that he didn't even consider all the crimes Dorsey could have committed over the two year period where he stayed clean.

desmondintherough

February 8th, 2010 at 3:47 PM ^

I also wonder what is in that bowling book, but after being in a league for a few years (school league, not serious) you did start to pick up nuances to the game that you wouldn't have expected before. Oil changes on the lane due to the lights and bowling patterns, spin patterns, that sort of thing. That being said, 40 pages does seem like a lot.

More to the point, the tone of that article was very positive about the work ethic and sacrifices the players make for the program. It was a surprise and a nice read for once.

Go Blue!

MaizeAndBlueWahoo

February 8th, 2010 at 3:51 PM ^

Re: Harbaugh and admissions. Take it from a fan of a team with the same problem: It truly is a no-win situation for the coach. Accepting commitments that then wash out because admissions wouldn't let them in only causes the fans to grumble that the coach "doesn't get it" and "needs to do his due diligence." Not that the administration doesn't get its share of the blame, but it's a major-league mess for a coach and not one I'd want to get myself into. A school that has overly strict eligibility requirements for its football players above and beyond the NCAA's is cutting its program off at the knees, IMO.

mgovictors23

February 8th, 2010 at 3:54 PM ^

This is a huge spring practice for Mike Shaw. I think right now Vincent Smith would be the starter in the fall so Mike has to show what we all thought he could be when he signed with us.

InterM

February 8th, 2010 at 4:01 PM ^

Brian, how in the heck do you expect the print media to survive if you keep holding them to impossibly high standards like that?

Maybe the News should put up a billboard promoting Wojo's work with that slogan?

jamiemac

February 8th, 2010 at 4:23 PM ^

Wait he puts on a skateboarding competition?

I wonder if there are odds at that? If Frieder is involved, I'm sure there.

Last time I saw Frieder, he was walking around like a zombie at the Treasure Island sports book. I dont think it was after a Stevin Headache Smith big game, either

Wahlberg

February 8th, 2010 at 4:58 PM ^

Jamiemac, how'd you feel about the shout out you got on that WLA piece? "even Jamiemac would take those odds" I laughed but then did a sorta double take to make sure they weren't actually taking pot shot at you.

J. Lichty

February 8th, 2010 at 4:44 PM ^

in the Flintstones, Big Lebowski and Kingpin.

I know there is bowling hall of fame somewhere in the midwest (maybe Kansas City).

I also remember once looking for a real sporting event on TV (probably on the Ocho) only to be disappointed that bowling was on TV instead of the event I was looking for. Well, I was only disappointed until I realized that one of the bowler's name was Bob Knipple and that had me laughing for the entire round just to hear the announcers saying his name as Ka-Nipple i.e. without the silent K, as we would do in Bobby Knight or the KNOWLEDGE.

BlueintheLou

February 8th, 2010 at 4:44 PM ^

Bowling? Really? As a meteorologist, I am stupified as to what they are teaching him in meteorology that makes bowling a more difficult class. Knock the pins down. Hit the head pin just to the right or left. Lord.

blueheron

February 8th, 2010 at 4:46 PM ^

*** I approve of the recruitment of Mr. Dorsey. I wish him well at Michigan and I'm excited about having an all-star safety. ***

That aside, this blew my mind:

"To put it another way, a youth has a 96% chance of not re-offending."

Does that seem really high to anyone else? Did they filter for serious/non-serious crimes? I'd expect much more re-offending.

Yostal

February 8th, 2010 at 5:04 PM ^

I am speaking only from my experience with dealing with young people, but not necessarily those who have been in "the system", just those who have made a mistake.

My guess as to why that number is so low is the wake up call/piercing of the armor of invincibility. One of the things that makes teenagers amazing is that so many of them believe that they cannot lose, that they can get away with everything, that they can push the envelope because they've never been caught, so why would they start now. For many kids, it never goes much beyond copying someone else's homework when they're in a pinch or using sparknotes instead of doing their reading.

But, let's say you catch someone cheating on a test and you have them dead to rights. The first thing I would look for is remorse, do they confess to the act before you present what you have on them. As strange as it is, someone who confesses is likely going to get leniency from me because a confession, even if calculated, is an acknowledgment of wrongdoing, that they know they did something wrong, they likely feel remorse about it. So then you make a judgment call, you can still drop the hammer (rules are rules), or you can go easy on them and let them know that if you ever see them again in this kind of situation again, you will destroy them. I would say that, in many cases, you never have a problem with that kid again.

So maybe 96 percent is high, but that's 19 out of every 20 kids, and yeah, that feels about right.

There are other mitigating factors, how involved is the family in "external punishment" (not external to the family, but external to the punishment I can deliver. In many cases, the kid will suffer way more at the hands of the parent than they ever could at mine), how close an eye is kept on them, can they extricate themselves from negative influences, etc. But yeah, about 19 out of 20 times, it seems right, for what it's worth.

Ernis

February 8th, 2010 at 4:52 PM ^

It appears that Lemonier, like all too many youngsters these days, embraces the current popularity of pirates and privateers. How many lives will be ruined by these reckless pop culture icons who glorify a violent life on the high seas filled with rum and treasure? I weep for the future.

umjgheitma

February 8th, 2010 at 5:21 PM ^

in the bowling book there's possibly history of the game, along with its evolution and past pioneers of the sport. If I had to write a paper on bowling, that's how I would fill up some pages. Terminology and basic theory would not take long to explain.

I wouldn't be surprised if most athletes getting a scholarship had at least one fluff class.

umich1

February 8th, 2010 at 5:41 PM ^

As with every other 'sport,' bowling has its fair share of special terminology and techniques.

Vocab words could include "carrydown," "fried heads," "outside," "inside," "180," "OB," "coverstock," and the various most commonly used oil patterns (Cheetah, Scorpion, Viper, Shark, Chameleon).

Techniques could include how varying grip pressure, hand positions, speed, rev rate, starting position, and various coverstocks can be used in conjunction with each other to combat the various issues the oil pattern and its transition is causing.

Brian you are invited to a University of Michigan Bowling Team Practice whenever you want to come if you want to learn more.

umich1

February 8th, 2010 at 6:21 PM ^

precisely. It takes a lot of physics and chemistry to understand how the coverstock and core will work together across the 60 feet of lane.

You reminded me of other vocabulary terms:

DRG, RG, and track flare. All of which are relevant measures of the ball's potential.

w2j2

February 8th, 2010 at 6:04 PM ^

During Rodriguez' presser on signing day, he complimented every team in the big ten for being very decent, civil & straight forward in their recruiting.
Except one. And he (later) said it was NOT OSU.

So who was it? Purdue?

My guess: Dantonio at MSU.

gujd

February 8th, 2010 at 7:32 PM ^

and the host's voice is driving me crazy. Brian is yet to talk, but he has to be laughing histerically (inside at least) at this guy.