THE WRECK OF THE PATRICK FITZGERALD
THE WRECK OF THE PATRICK FITZGERALD
Does anyone know where the love of God goes when khakis turn the last 30 minutes to hours?
The referees say, they’d have made Patrick’s day if only they’d put one more first down behind them.
They may have split up or they may have capsized, they may have failed to make adjustments at half time.
All that remains are the faces and the names of the coordinators, assistants and backups.
The legend lives on from the CMU Chippewa on down of the coordinator they call Doctor Chaos.
Michigan they say never gives up the lead when the Gales of the Second Half MurdrWolvs of September come better late than never.
In a shiny new hall in Evanston they prayed in the multimillion dollar Ryan Fieldhouse.
The school bell chimed till it rang 22 times for each starter on the Patrick Fitzgerald.
September 30th, 2018 at 7:49 AM ^
Hey now, be nice. I like Fitz, and think he’s doing decent. Plus, he really admires Harbaugh.
Put it this way: if Fitz, Meyer, and Dantonio were tied up and heading for a wood-chipper via conveyor belt, I would at least give Fitz a knife to cut the ropes.
September 30th, 2018 at 7:53 AM ^
Press conference Pat sounds like a phenomenal coach. It’s Sideline Pat that rubs the wrong way, what with all the strange juvenile shenanigans and all.
September 30th, 2018 at 8:09 AM ^
You mean like the look of a ten year old kid at 3:00 on the last day of school? We made many opposing coaches and players look that joyous this past decade. It was a horrible feeling on top of everything else. In particular when it was teams like Rutgers in 2014.
I know everybody likes Fitzgerald. But I really, REALLY love beating him. Even if the games won't win any beauty contests...except for the 2015 game. I went to that one and it was epic.
September 30th, 2018 at 8:26 AM ^
I know what you mean. At the end of their scoring drives he was jumping around like a fat kid who just randomly asked his mom if they could go to Chuckie Cheese on a Wednesday night and against all odds she somehow said yes.
We've seen this behavior out of him before, except in that game where Jehu returned the opening kickoff and we were up like 56-0 at the end of the first quarter. He didn't jump around too much that day.
He needs to figure out how to just congratulate his players when they do something great and not lose his shit emotionally. Plus he should change his 1956 buzzcut.
September 30th, 2018 at 8:50 AM ^
That “Chuck E. Cheese” line was glorious. Maybe the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. Nice work.
September 30th, 2018 at 9:35 AM ^
That's why he has probably the best job security of all the Big Ten positions.
1. He isn't relying on a some contract obligations. Chris Ash at Rutgers only is hanging on because of a really good agent. https://www.nj.com/rutgersfootball/index.ssf/2018/09/revisiting_chris_ashs_contract_extension_why_rutge.html
2. The expectations there are low - ironically almost winning for 52-53 minutes is nearly as good as winning. It is understood that he'll probably never get a highly rated recruiting class or laid that 5 star superstar - just not going to happen.
3. He wins just enough - he can't go 0-12, but getting to a bowl game (i.e. 6 games ) is really his goal each year.
4. Produce a few name players.
5. Handles the press, alumni and campus relations well - here he seems to really shine. He has had the same OC/DC crew for ? 11 years and despite calls for new blood he has enough political capital built up with the AD and campus that he can shrug them off.
A lot of coaches could probably achieve 6 wins nearly every year but points 2 and 5 are the hard parts to find and he's in a good situation.
September 30th, 2018 at 9:51 AM ^
They should dump ash asap and get someone like Pelini coaching in the big ten again. I'd bet his personality would work there.
September 30th, 2018 at 2:22 PM ^
I don't care how he acts on the sidelines. Guys a good coach and he was hired to win games at northwestern. He does a good job. Why should he care what opposing fans think of him on the sidelines. Our coach does it better anyway
September 30th, 2018 at 8:54 AM ^
I think Fitz is annoying.
September 30th, 2018 at 9:27 AM ^
FWIW I had personal interactions with Fitz during my time as an athlete at NU and always found him to be a very high character guy who cares a lot about doing things the right way. From a purely personality and character standpoint I would be totally comfortable playing for him or having him lead Michigan.
September 30th, 2018 at 9:57 AM ^
To each his own! He’s a great person. Average coach at best. He’s predictable. Truthfully when we were behind 17-0 while standing in the crowd at Ryan Field I had zero doubt that we’d get back into the game! His Vanilla offense makes ours look, well quite prolific! God Bless Pat.
September 30th, 2018 at 4:47 PM ^
I know this is easy to say after the win but I never felt like we were going to lose that game.
My wife came downstairs saw the score and mentioned I was taking it pretty well.
I told here we would win even being down 17 I just felt like we would do enough.
proud of the team they battled and got it done.
September 30th, 2018 at 7:53 AM ^
This is brilliant. And it is Coach Harbaugh’s favorite song to boot. Hats off GarMoe - high quality humor and wit.
September 30th, 2018 at 8:15 AM ^
You missed a verse regarding the game taking 3.5 hours thanks to Fox. And rhyming it it with "running up the gut versus nine men in the box."
September 30th, 2018 at 8:24 AM ^
Commercials have gotten waaaay out of hand. That was more commercials than football yesterday.
September 30th, 2018 at 10:30 AM ^
I now notice the rare periods when momentum is a thing; it used to be a major part of the game.
September 30th, 2018 at 12:59 PM ^
Fox sucks for college football because they treat their telecasts like an nfl game. After a score Fox goes to a commercial break, come back for the kickoff and then goes to another commercial break. It's awful. Pretty sure ABC was not doing that with the PSU/OSU game.
September 30th, 2018 at 1:25 PM ^
Oh yes they were. ESPN does it too; it's not just a one-network problem.
September 30th, 2018 at 8:27 AM ^
If I had the gify skills of some here, I thought it needed one of the ship w Fitz's face on the bow, a tiny version of him jumping up n down a la 2015 on the bridge, and then in the storm above MurderWolv heads circling in the clouds. Oh well, on my list of shoulda's.
September 30th, 2018 at 10:20 AM ^
The infamous jumping up and down gif is from 2012 after a late hit penalty was called on Michigan.
2015 featured no happy Fitz shots (aside from perhaps pregame warmups) as he had zero reason to smile once Jehu took the opening kick to the house.
October 1st, 2018 at 8:22 AM ^
I was there. That was a great day....
September 30th, 2018 at 8:28 AM ^
Brilliant. I can hear Gord in my head when I read it.
September 30th, 2018 at 8:40 AM ^
You must have been as drunk as shit when you wrote this.
September 30th, 2018 at 8:41 AM ^
Every cat knew, as Fitzgerald did too, twas the Murderwolf of November come early
September 30th, 2018 at 9:02 AM ^
clever lyrics.
nevertheless, fitz is one of my favorites and if JH hadn't come to us, he would've been my top choice. smart, ethical, tough as nails, and look what he's done with a tiny private school with serious academic requirements. love the guy and love the cats, wish we didn't have to play them.
September 30th, 2018 at 9:18 AM ^
Agree. He’s a perfect fit there even if it wasn’t his alma mater. Someone much more creative than I could no doubt make the lyrics great. If you haven’t listened to the post game presser he fielded annoying questions from the press like a champ and had everyone laughing. They tried to break him with those time outs he called, etc but he brushed them off w class. He doesn’t take himself too seriously which is probably why he acts goofy on the sidelines.
September 30th, 2018 at 9:49 AM ^
I don't remember reading anywhere that Dave Brandon told you to find another team to root for, XM.
How did I miss this?
;-)
September 30th, 2018 at 2:42 PM ^
oldest brother played ball at NW. they have always been my team 1B, with U of M being 1A. heck, state used to be my solid #2 fav school because my dad played ball there. of course, that changed rather dramatically these last couple of years.
September 30th, 2018 at 9:49 PM ^
Fitzgerald is a decent human being, and there are far too few of them in the B1G these days. (I would put Paul Chyst and of course Harbaugh in that category. Not sure of who else...)
September 30th, 2018 at 9:32 AM ^
I wonder how many of the readers here know of the song you are referencing...
September 30th, 2018 at 10:11 AM ^
Growing up anywhere north of Saginaw, this was a staple on the radio every fall. Followed closely by Fred Bear.
September 30th, 2018 at 11:33 AM ^
+1 for Fred Bear
September 30th, 2018 at 9:43 AM ^
All class, no expectations.... sounds like a great gig
September 30th, 2018 at 10:14 AM ^
Rhyme scheme?
September 30th, 2018 at 10:24 AM ^
Given his personnel options, recruiting and generally bad luck with injuries I think Pat F has done an incredible job at Northwestern.
Would be interesting what he could do at a place like say Nebraska, UCLA or Tennessee just for kicks. But he's not going anywhere.
September 30th, 2018 at 2:55 PM ^
Nor should he. Those places and others like them have swallowed up a lot of coaches recently.
They have more resources, but the expectations are too high and the patience too low.
The only thing that separates Nebraska from Kansas is a lot of old history. The only thing that separates Tennessee from Virginia is a lot of old history.
UCLA . . . yeah that's an enigma. I can't explain that one.
September 30th, 2018 at 10:34 AM ^
Nicely done, OP.
September 30th, 2018 at 11:57 AM ^
Ha! I love it!
September 30th, 2018 at 1:27 PM ^
Nevertheless, I'll be a Wildcat fan when they play MSU.