Legendary Spartan Images

Submitted by EGD on October 14th, 2018 at 9:49 PM

From time-to-time in recent years, cameras have captured some truly spectacular instances of Michigan State Spartanhood.  


These are helpful, if for no other reason that permanent documentation that can help teach future generations what not to do.

The relevant failures are most often the work of Spartans themselves, quite naturally.  Other times, however, the errors of others live on in the minds of MSU faithful as signs of the ever-present “disrespekt.”

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Such a touchy subject.  It's never over?  Indeed.

Anyway, to call such images “art” would cheapen the medium.  Yet there is something perfect in the way such complete and utter ineptitude meshes with technology and the trained eye to create something permanent.  


Ahh.  Glorious photography.

The cameras were out in East Lansing again this past weekend, as hordes of Spartan undergraduates took to the back yards and vacant lots to celebrate that most unlikely of accomplishments.  No, an MSU alum did not become a Nobel laureate.  Don't be silly.  Rather, MSU’s varsity American Football team prevailed in its weekend contest with (contrived) rival Pennsylvania State University!  This, of course, necessitated grand festivities, which the Spartans painstakingly carried out in a manner true to their storied tradition. 

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The couch fire.

By now there is nothing original in the practice.  Win or lose, it's just more upholstered furniture sacrified on the carbon altar.  But this weekend’s couch fire party has borne a new image of Spartanhood, one to live alongside Staee and Burke pickpocketing Keith Appling.  So let's just get on with it, shall we?

Courtesy of MSU’s own State News, behold the sound and the fury:

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So much to appreciate about this new masterpiece.  Obviously the shopping cart came from a Sears store at one time—does Sears even still exist, one wonders?  And what strange material is balled up inside it?  Is the cart being pushed toward the fire, or merely held at its side like Spartan boy’s trusty dog?  It's almost like the Mona Lisa in its mysteriousness.

Spartan boy himself is even more compelling, truly.  It begins with the hoodie, which bears the word “sound” on the left sleeve.  Nothing like dressing for the eighth grade in your third year of college.  And that’s about the only thing that could ruin the coolness of an otherwise stellar pair of red Chucks.  It’s a long way to being the next Allstate Mayhem, but at least we have aspirations.  Why is he smiling?  Don't answer that.  

Then we have your usual wad of clueless Spartan undergraduates milling in the background.  Do those white shorts have pleats?  You can't see them but you know they do.  Where the party at?  Shit.  Spartans Will (stand around a burning pile of mattresses).  

We see the butt end of what’s obviously one of those nondescript apartment complexes that ring the MSU campus like flies on shit culture. So this is probably in a parking lot.  And that’s good, because if something is happening in East Lansing it’s gonna be happening in a parking lot.  

Sound.  It's perfect.

Go Blue.



October 14th, 2018 at 10:22 PM ^

Note: tattoo is Spartan stepping on some random furry animal wearing a Mizzou Tiger helmet.  No doubt the player mistakenly thinks that he has a wolverine wearing a M helmet.  But, uhhhh, M has a winged helmet; whereas, Mizzou has the "M" on its helmet.  Sparty No!!


October 14th, 2018 at 10:47 PM ^

Isn't there a gif of a spartan being chased by a dog with a hose? 


I also thought there was one of Mork Dantonia getting fingered in his butthole by the devil in exchange for good luck, apathetic law enforcement, and control over the weather. 


October 14th, 2018 at 11:11 PM ^

I don't know what I'm doing wrong on linking the image, but here it is. If somebody can figure out how to link this in-line, thanks.




October 15th, 2018 at 1:24 AM ^

Fun fact: I bought a heat pump from them in 2016, got it installed in 2017, and got a five year protection agreement.  1 year and a couple months later it stops working, they’re telling me o bought it in 09 before I owned a house, and that there are no records of it.

Our “discussions” have been going since May of this year.