Unverified Voracity Didn't Even Drain The Cans
Sponsor note. Wait, one second.
Ohio caviar. Do not watch this while eating.
??? pic.twitter.com/VJ3WeRfQIk
— Kiko’ (@KikoSencillo) September 29, 2020
This makes up for at least 1.3 losses to Ohio State over the past 15 years, I'm pretty sure. Still waiting for a final number.
I almost want to make this and attempt to feed it to the children in the hopes that they will reject it and then eat the frittata. It's egg and cheese! HOW MUCH WORSE CAN IT BE THAN EGG AND CHEESE EATEN SEPARATELY anyway
Sponsor note part 2. Do you have an idea for a business, like posting videos of your crockpot abominations in the hope that people will pay you not to have their logo on your crockpot? Sound business plan… as long as that's not extortion. Better find out by calling Richard Hoeg.
Because if it's not extortion baby you've got a Lovecraftian horror stew going. But if it is at least you'll be used to the food. Richard Hoeg can walk you through the legality of your plans, and if they are indeed legal he can get you set up with the small business you've always dreamed of.
Still out. Per Wolverines Wire, Ambry Thomas is not going to opt back in. Jalen Mayfield has submitted his waiver and gotten it approved, which was the reason for the Mysterious Tweet of the Week:
Uh oh...
— Jalen Mayfield (@jay_may_11) September 27, 2020
Nico Collins has not submitted a waiver and presumably will not be returning either. If this is depressing just think of all the times you don't have to say THROW IT TO NICO this fall when the ball goes anywhere else unsuccessfully.
[After the JUMP: meep meep]
It does look sped up. Xavier Worthy is impressed by how fast Xavier Worthy is moving:
It look sped up Frfr pic.twitter.com/pPOoPcQySE
— Flash Worthy⚡️❄️ (@Xavierworthy2) September 28, 2020
I am also impressed.
Why is it just this one guy? We've mentioned the MLB pitcher who had to shut it down for the year after a myocarditis diagnosis. This is his current status:
Roenicke said Rodriguez has been unable to do any real physical activity save for moving a bit around the house since he was shut down with myocarditis in lateJuly. But he reiterates expectation (‘so encouraging’) is he can have a full offseason conditioning program.
— Alex Speier (@alexspeier) September 25, 2020
I am unaware that any college football player has been shut down in a similar fashion. Other sports have been able to prevent mass infections and may plausibly have gotten away with just a few myocarditis diagnoses, but if the 10-15% rate is correct, and teams like LSU and Texas Tech have had a majority of their team get infected, then where are the guys being held out in a similar fashion?
Someone may do something or they may be ignored. MSU has been significantly underreporting COVID cases on campus and the county health official is making some football related statements:
More than 1,250 cases of COVID-19 have been confirmed at Michigan State University since Aug. 24 — more than double the 499 that the university reports on its coronavirus tracker web page, according to the county’s top health official.
Linda Vail, Ingham County health officer, expressed frustration that MSU is not including county numbers in its case counts. She added that if MSU’s scheduled opening football game Oct. 24 were held now, she would “absolutely tell them to call it off,” given the current volume of COVID cases on campus. …
[After this article was published Tuesday evening, Vail contacted Bridge to clarify that she did not mean to suggest she would order the game’s cancellation if case numbers remain high. Instead, she said, she meant to convey she would “advise” that the game be canceled.]
It is unclear why an outdoor football game between two rigorously tested programs should be called off when the state is going to open all kinds of indoor activities October 9th. As far as I know no Big Ten program has announced that they'll allow fans into the stadium. Also it is unclear what the county health official is empowered to do:
MSU spokesperson Emily Guerrant told Bridge Michigan on Tuesday she does not know what the university would do if the county health department recommended shutting down a football game, or if Vail has the authority to order a game canceled.
This could unfold into a Veep epsiode. Keep your ears to the ground.
In a similar vein, now that Michigan's COVID dashboard includes outside testing the numbers are looking exponential:
One dollar says there's a total shutdown of on-campus activities in the near future. With dorms 70% full it probably won't make enough of a difference.
The Nebraska thing. Leave it to the pseudonymous twitter parody account to have the best take on the recent war of words and silly lawsuits between Nebraska and the rest of the Big Ten. Faux Pelini on the situation:
Now, if Nebraska had really cared about the Big Ten, it might have understood the impact that the Other Options speech would have on the other conference members. The Big Ten was working on a group solution to a difficult, high stakes problem — how to responsibly deal with a virus that was killing a lot of people — and Frost made it seem that Nebraska was only concerned about its football schedule.
And if the Big Ten had truly cared about Nebraska, it might have tried to understand where Nebraska was coming from. Instead, the Big Ten and its schools mostly took the easy way out and characterized Nebraska as a disloyal problem child.
What the Big Ten wasn’t willing to see is that when speaking of Other Options, Nebraska wasn’t making threats. Nebraska was worried.
Pelini makes a case that CFB is even more wired into the ordinary Nebraskan's mind than it is for other Big Ten fanbases and that the conflict arises from that.
Right into it then. I hadn't put basketball's start date together with the dates being floated for the now-moved Empire State Classic but Franz Wagner's appearance on BTN does:
“After a long time without certainty whether we’ll have a season or not, now we’re all motivated and ready to go,” Wagner said. “Having that goal in mind, Nov. 25, when we play Villanova, it’s a lot easier to go to practice every day and be motivated to work hard and try to get better.”
That would be Michigan's first game. Opening with Villanova is not like opening against a low major, especially if the closed scrimmages and exhibition games aren't played this year. Difficult to imagine they would.
Nova finished last year 18th in Kenpom. They lost Saddiq Bey to the NBA Draft but return everyone else, and expectations are extremely high. A potential second game against Baylor would also be a tough matchup:
Villanova is ranked No. 2 in the country in ESPN’s latest preseason rankings; the Wildcats are third per CBS Sports. Baylor is first on ESPN and second on CBS. Boston College, which finished 13-19 last year, does not appear in either poll.
If you assume that Michigan is an underdog against either of the big names getting them early in a weird season is probably an advantage. HoopVision has an excellent Villanova preview for subscribers.
Zooming with the new guys. The Daily on basketball's odd offseason, featuring this Austin Davis quote:
In addition to keeping the existing team together, the Zoom calls also served as introductions for Michigan’s newest players. Four freshmen and two incoming transfers — guards Mike Smith and Chaundee Brown — were initially integrated virtually.
“We just kinda got to know each other a bit through (Zoom),” Davis said. “I probably shouldn’t say ‘shooting the shit’ but you know, we just got to know each other.
Austin Davis may not have an internal monologue. He may wander around saying everything that comes to his mind, and nobody has noticed because it's all about post footwork.
Good odds. Michigan's waiver for Chaundee Brown is still in limbo. But the ratio here is encouraging:
Chaundee Brown, to my knowledge, still in the "pending" category. https://t.co/MB0R6Fu75v
— Andrew Kahn (@AndrewKahn) September 28, 2020
Getting to the point where you have to wonder what the folks who get denied did. Desecrate a religious icon near and dear to the committee?
Etc.: Mid and low major basketball teams are in for a rough time. Dabo gonna Dabo. NYT on the death of Jamain Stephens, now confirmed to be a COVID fatality. Big Ten set to stick with a 20 game conference basketball schedule. Indiana loses star spacebacker Marcelino Ball to an ACL injury.
September 29th, 2020 at 3:38 PM ^
I added this to Titans post earlier but Chad Dorrill, a 19 yr old basketball player at App State died yesterday.
https://www.hcpress.com/news/19-year-old-app-state-student-dies-from-covid-19-complications.html
Appalachian State University sophomore exercise science major Chad Dorrill died Monday night, Sept. 28, of COVID-19 complications.
Dorrill was a 19-year-old basketball player and graduate of Ledford High School in Thomasville.
“As our family suffers this incredible loss, we want to remind people to wear a mask and quarantine if you test positive even without symptoms. You have no idea who you can come in contact with that the virus affects differently. Chad was just incredibly tired for two weeks and little did we know it was secretly attacking his body in a way they have never seen before. The doctors said that Chad is the rarest 1-10,000,000 case but if it can happen to a super healthy 19-year-old boy who doesn’t smoke, vape, or do drugs, it can happen to anyone.”
September 29th, 2020 at 3:46 PM ^
Wear a MASK!!!
This young person, a strong and healthy Div1 athlete, has lost their life because he and people around him very likely weren't...
This just doesn't seem that difficult, but then, these are difficult times to understand!
September 29th, 2020 at 3:45 PM ^
I'm pretty sure the Ohio caviar is salvageable if you just add a block of Velveeta.
September 29th, 2020 at 4:00 PM ^
I'm not sure about cheese on that mess, but Bisquick dumplings would do the trick. That's how my mom always got me to eat beef stew.
https://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/dumplings/f57f7ef5-142d-4843-9f19-7416cc59db45
September 29th, 2020 at 4:28 PM ^
not to worry - velveeta is definitely not made of cheese
September 29th, 2020 at 5:00 PM ^
True, but we absolutely loved that crap when we were kids eons ago. I don't know why. I couldn't choke it down now.
September 29th, 2020 at 6:54 PM ^
Velveeta is about 50% cheese and is very similar to government cheese.
September 29th, 2020 at 4:20 PM ^
Almost everything is off the table since she didn't drain those cans. That's some gross 2020 right there.
September 29th, 2020 at 4:59 PM ^
Just drain the cans and replace with even store-bought chicken stock and you've made a massive improvement.
September 29th, 2020 at 4:37 PM ^
It remind me prison food in Russia.
September 29th, 2020 at 5:35 PM ^
That's where I got the idea.
September 29th, 2020 at 5:13 PM ^
The amount of sodium already in that awful dish is probably off the damn charts. Velveeta just makes it an instant heart attack.
September 29th, 2020 at 5:32 PM ^
Velveeta would make it worse, probably double the value to 2.6 losses.
If she added roast beef, would it have cut it down to 0.8 losses?
September 29th, 2020 at 5:47 PM ^
One of my co-workers was eating an Atkins diet dessert and it spelled indulge as 'Endulge'. That was odd, so she looked online to see if there was a different meaning. This is what she found.
September 29th, 2020 at 7:55 PM ^
Perhaps they meant ‘engorge’?
September 30th, 2020 at 8:13 AM ^
and some French's onions to the top
September 30th, 2020 at 2:44 PM ^
Can we also talk about the fact that all that food is already cooked? All you have to do is heat and eat. I don't even want to know what 4-6 hours of slow cooking does to that food.
September 29th, 2020 at 3:56 PM ^
Those UM test numbers still aren't as high as I expected.
I agree playing Nova and Baylor early are good opportunities for big wins in a weird season. I do wonder how this team will look with so many new guys at key spots. PG in particular feels like a committee position until proven otherwise.
September 29th, 2020 at 4:19 PM ^
I agree UM test numbers seems low -- two straight weeks of 3,500, when OSU and Illinois are doing 10,000 per week.
That said, MSU is barely doing 1,000 per week. Even WMU is doing more than that (though still fewer than Michigan on a per student basis).
So I have no idea why UM doesn't test more. That said, I would take Brian $1 bet -- while the student numbers are going up, the staff has been flat, and unless the students go up a lot more (i.e., to MSU levels) I don't see everything being shut down -- maybe a frat house or three being quarantined.
CMU had its big outbreak a few weeks ago, and it dissipated; WMU is going through some bounce-back. So nothing is guaranteed and my *guess* is Michigan is better (relatively speaking) about masks etc than most schools (though I'm sure we have plenty of students who could give a rip).
September 29th, 2020 at 4:06 PM ^
I, for one, will never stop demanding that they throw it to Nico.
September 29th, 2020 at 7:14 PM ^
I'll never stop listening to The Velvet Underground & Nico!
September 29th, 2020 at 4:18 PM ^
I've looked into it, that is the nicest thing that crockpot is legally able to cook, by law. It's a safety issue if anything better goes in there, might short it out
September 29th, 2020 at 4:21 PM ^
"a religious icon near and dear to the committee": that would be money, right?
September 29th, 2020 at 4:43 PM ^
I'd shit in a cooler too if I had to eat that.
September 29th, 2020 at 4:47 PM ^
MSU Current cases:
September 29th, 2020 at 9:46 PM ^
Positivity rate in NYC late March territory and they're slow playing the data from the county...
September 29th, 2020 at 4:50 PM ^
the Xavier Worthy video looks sped down if you look at the refs on the sideline.
September 29th, 2020 at 4:53 PM ^
https://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/
"One of the more popular cuts: pressed shank braised with smoker's phlegm. It may take a few tries to get Uncle Hank to hack up enough Lucky sauce, so be patient."
September 29th, 2020 at 5:54 PM ^
OMFG this was awesome, I went through everything in the link and could't stop cracking up. Thanks for sharing Don!
WARNING! Eating the carrots or the parsley will cause your testicles to retreat into your body cavity. Don't even chance it. Eat the MEAT.
September 29th, 2020 at 6:57 PM ^
If you haven't already, you need to go through all the different sections. Like this one:
https://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/homecuring/index.html
September 29th, 2020 at 9:32 PM ^
That site is awesome. Thanks for posting.
September 29th, 2020 at 9:44 PM ^
Lileks is criminally underappreciated. There's just so much on that site.
September 30th, 2020 at 10:46 AM ^
"The text tells you how you can avoid the chance of bone taint and pump the pickle."
September 29th, 2020 at 5:15 PM ^
I can’t bring myself to a low where I make fun of someone for making cheap food.
September 29th, 2020 at 6:09 PM ^
Dude, I guarantee most of us could put together something pretty tasty and just as easy to cook with the same money Ohio chef put into that slop bin. It’s not about the humble nature of the food. It’s about the fact that it was unnecessarily disgusting and relatively lacking in overall nutrition.
September 29th, 2020 at 6:41 PM ^
The problem isn't that it's cheap. It's using canned veggies without draining or rinsing them, putting food that's already cooked in a slow cooler for 4 to 6 hours, putting 5 pounds of salt into your kids' bodies, and thinking it's so good you have to share it with the world.
September 29th, 2020 at 6:17 PM ^
"I am your local county public health officer and, during this pandemic, I AM GOD!"
September 29th, 2020 at 6:33 PM ^
Wait a minute, when I said “throw it to Nico” there was almost assuredly an expletive somewhere in the sentence.
September 30th, 2020 at 8:49 AM ^
Like "2020 throw it to 2020 Nico....2020!" ?....
September 29th, 2020 at 8:11 PM ^
So even if all the pending ones are denied (pretend Brown’s isn’t in there), that’s a 50-50 chance. Encouraging.
September 29th, 2020 at 9:42 PM ^
Sparty covers up everything else that's negative towards the University or it's Athletic department - why not add Covid to the long list of dirty deeds?
September 29th, 2020 at 11:02 PM ^
My sixteen-year-old said, "This is why these people have to shit all over in the coolers." And when I said that it was awful, but not cool to laugh at people like this, she said, "Aw hell naw. If these people can afford custom coolers and marble counters, they can afford to cook healthy food for their children." I had no snappy comeback.
September 30th, 2020 at 9:07 AM ^
If you have a crockpot with your favorite team on it, I fucking hate your guts. I don't care what team you cheer for.
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