On Being Steve Buscemi
So, about that game against that school: does anyone else feel a little bit like Marge Gunderson right now?
As the rest of the world laughs at Dave Brandon's decision to dredge up a not very nice thing that happened a while back I keep thinking of the scene at the end of Fargo where Grimsrud is in the back of the squad car, mute, as Marge tries to figure out what's in his head:
MARGE ... So that was Mrs. Lundegaard in there? She glances up in the rear-view mirror. Grimsrud, cheeks sunk, eyes hollow, looks sourly out at the road. Marge shakes her head. At length: MARGE ... I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. Grimsrud's head bobs with bumps on the road; otherwise he is motionless, reactionless, scowling and gazing out. MARGE ... And those three people in Brainerd. No response. Marge, gazing forward, seems to be talking to herself. MARGE ... And for what? For a little bit of money. We hear distant sirens. MARGE ... There's more to life than money, you know. She glances up in the rear-view mirror. MARGE ... Don't you know that?... And here ya are, and it's a beautiful day...
Marge is trying to comprehend an alien intelligence's decisions. That's where I find myself today. I can't begin to fathom the kind of thinking that would go into scheduling Appalachian State again. I get there are reasons, just like Grimsrud had reasons, but for the reasons to win out over the costs the kind of value judgments that are going on in the decision-maker's head must be frightening.
Meanwhile, instead of being mute Brandon is reminding us not to shoot anyone. Thanks, Dave Brandon. I'll try to remember not to shoot anyone this fall. Then there's this:
Oh, each team wanted to win. Players mentioned how their nerves came into play. There were sweaty palms, and probably a few "yips" on the green. And when the match was over, there was some fun "trash talk," but there were more laughs and hugs -- and respect for each other.
Not being mute is only exacerbating this divide.
We've had hints of this for a while now, but this is the last straw: Dave Brandon is not a Michigan fan. He may want Michigan to win but he has no concept of what the fanbase thinks is important. In the last year he's suggested or executed the following:
- moving the Ohio State game to midseason
- putting Michigan in a different division than Ohio State
- curly fries in Michigan Stadium
- a sponsored spring game
- a mascot
- scheduling The Horror: The Squeakuel
He has failed to:
- summarily execute Special K on the diag
In the aftermath of people blowing up about these things, he wrote jerky emails and said he "can't see how it would be a negative" to dig up the most infamous upset in NCAA history. These are not good signs. Dave Brandon is going to create the future whether you like being put in a wood chipper or not.
ALIEN VERSUS HORROR NEUTRAL BLOGGER REACT ROUNDUP
this is the single dumbest scheduling decision we can remember, and the most craven once since Indiana sold out one of their own Big Ten home games to play at a "neutral site" full of Penn State fans.
No matter what happens, greater glory is paid the lowest point in the history of the Michigan football program in exchange for national television exposure. This is Michigan football becoming a celebrity rehab patient. This is Michigan's amateur sex tape that no one wants to buy. We're beginning to think Dave Brandon is not a very smart person. We're beginning to also think this will all end with this Michigan team losing this game in 2014, and then beating Florida in the 2015 Outback Bowl.
the athletic department has scheduled what it’s going to have to call a revenge match with Appalachian State, a concept too hysterical to even contemplate.
Aug. 30, 2014, is two days shy of the seventh anniversary of the most stunning upset in college football history, long enough for everyone involved in Appalachian State's 34-32 miracle in the Big House to have graduated, retired or otherwise moved on from the respective programs, but not nearly long enough for Michigan fans to get over the festering humiliation that sent the program into a four-year spiral from which it's only beginning to emerge.
August 26th, 2011 at 5:53 PM ^
August 26th, 2011 at 6:04 PM ^
I love this idea. I have struggled with how best to honor our Hall of Fame coach. This is definitely it.
Please let Brandon know that I will pay more money to go to this game if he makes it "Lloyd Carr Day."
He could also have our new mascot - the Noid - present a trophy sponsored by the Michigan Cherry and North Carolina Tobacco Growers Associations to the winner. And loser (why have just one trophy when you can have two sponsors?).
August 26th, 2011 at 2:08 PM ^
I seriously doubt App St. will beat Michigan again, and I think that letting them hold that win over us for all eternity is bad. Acting like we're afraid to play an FCS school is worse for the program than scheduling this game. I don't like all of Dave Brandon's decisions since he became AD, but I like this and hope we will schedule more 'revenge' games like this in the future to prove that if you beat us once, we'll come right back at you.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:11 PM ^
Do you people hear yourselves? We won't be avenging anything. We will beat a 1-AA team, just like we should have done the last time. No one is afraid to play them, some of us just realize that going after a weak ass opponent to exact "revenge" is sad and pathetic.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:16 PM ^
I'd rather schedule a revenge game against a team that previously humiliated us than a game against Eastern Michigan -which, face it, would probably be the alternative.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:18 PM ^
I'd rather schedule a revenge game against a team that previously humiliated us than a game against Eastern Michigan -which, face it, would probably be the alternative.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:53 PM ^
"It's not possible for Michigan to earn "revenge" against the Mountaineers. The former is one of the most storied programs in college football history. The latter is an FCS program (a good one, mind) that, if they're lucky, might land in Conference USA the next few seasons. 30 Michigan wins can't equal the impact of one of Appalachian State's, much less the single one they'll likely earn in 2012. To suggest the Wolverines can "even the score" with Appalachian State is to also suggest the two programs are somehow equals, peers."
August 26th, 2011 at 2:12 PM ^
Trust me, they're still "going to hold it over us." They had their shocker. They were Chaminade, we were Virginia. It doesn't matter that the entire world knows that if we had a yearly series for 20 years, we'd win 19 of them. They won once. That's what matters. If you think differently, ask Va. Tech and James Madison.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:27 PM ^
That's fine. They won fair and square. But we can demonstrate that it was a fluke by beating the crap out of them the next time.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:17 PM ^
All it "demonstrates" is that the Michigan Athletic Dept. is petty, greedy, and clueless.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:09 PM ^
Such a stupid decision. I'm still not over it. Today I saw a comment on an ESPN article (yeah, I know) in regard to our recent transfers saying something along the lines of "they must have been scared off by Appalachian State". This is what we get to look forward to. Jesus. I thought Dave Brandon wanted "positive buzz" around the program. Repeatedly dredging up The Horror does not positive buzz create.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:46 PM ^
Ok, but could you imagine the bad press if App St had asked to play us again and we said no?
What if that got leaked? That would be far worse in my opinion, hearing forever that we were too scared for a rematch.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:59 PM ^
The main reason I disagree is because Michigan didn't schedule App State to fill in a cupcake spot next season, or 2 years from now. This was scheduled 3 years in advance before any other cupcake spot in 2012 or 2013 was scheduled. This means it's either a press-generating marketing technique that Section 1 alluded to above or it's a revenge game against an opponent that Michigan should be treating like a cupcake... but isn't.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:11 PM ^
... it's a game against an opponent whom we should beat soundly. it won't matter a bit. If we lose, then we deserve the humiliation.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:12 PM ^
For good or bad, guess who will be paying attention to a FCS v. FBS showdown in the first month of the 2014 season?
One minute this fanbase is whining about matchups against Delaware State and Eastern Michigan, and the next, it's whining about matchups that create games people might actually pay attention to.
Appalachian State is now part of Michigan's history whether the school pays attention to it or ignores it. This 2014 game benefits Michigan (through increased television exposure and a likely national audience for a game against a FCS team), Appalachian State (through re-living their deserved victory and playing another game at the Big Haus), and college football (which, so long as it does not have centralized scheduling procedures, must rely on its member schools to provide matchups in the out-of-conference season that people actually give a flying toss about).
August 26th, 2011 at 2:22 PM ^
You lost me at "[t]his 2014 game benefits"
August 26th, 2011 at 2:25 PM ^
Yeah, but the entirety of that attention will be "Hey, remember the last time these teams played? We had almost forgotten about it, but, what the hell, let's replay the blocked kick again. And again."
There are hundreds of no-upside teams we could play that wouldn't include reviving slowly fading memories of the lowest moment in Michigan football history. I don't see how that attention is good for Michigan.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:49 PM ^
Guess what?
We are talking about a college football game.
If you cannot deal with watching television images from a game in which your favorite team lost to the 2-time defending FCS national champion, I cannot help you at all and we probably cannot talk about this with any seriousness.
Just so you're consistent, when Michigan schedules Toledo in the future, please be consistent, because IME, that loss was just as bad, if not worse, than losing to a national champion.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:05 PM ^
but established-to-be-awful 2008 Michigan was much worse than 5th-ranked 2007 Michigan. It's somewhat subjective as to the difference in each game; personally, 2007 was more shocking because of the preseason top 5 rating.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:11 PM ^
I can deal with it, I'll watch the game. But why should I have to deal with it when there a hundreds of other teams we could have played that wouldn't have involved dealing with it? I don't see the point in making the fanbase relive that game when there are plenty of other options. College football is supposed to be a relaxing diversion, but there is not much relaxing to be had by bringing up those memories during a game that's not going to set the world on fire if we win.
And no, that isn't the same. Michigan wasn't a top-5 team that season, and Toledo isn't I-AA, and it didn't attract nearly as much attention. And a rematch of that game wouldn't attract nearly as much attention as this one already has. I'm not against every rematch against any team that gave us a humiliating defeat ever, but the level of humiliation from this game (one of the biggest upsets in college football history) is not nearly worth it for the small gain (a victory over a I-AA team).
August 26th, 2011 at 2:28 PM ^
It's good to deal with this issue. Michigan can't run from its ugly past. Michigan must confront its worst fears. Only then can it defeat Vader.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:42 PM ^
And here is another thought....Maybe it is a big deal to us on MGOBLOG to reschedule it because we are a bit, ummmm, obsessed with Michigan football? A lot of fans go to the game, maybe read about it the next day, and move on. I know it kept us up all night, but Maybe it wasn't a "horror" to others?
August 26th, 2011 at 2:51 PM ^
James Earl Jones is one of us!
August 26th, 2011 at 3:11 PM ^
I can see how this benefits Appster, and maybe college football (at least the melodramatic, front-page-of-ESPN.com imperatives thereof). But the "benefit" for UM is nil. The "exposure" argument is rubbish - there isn't a single college football fan in the country who isn't aware of Michigan (or, in MBA-speak, the "Michigan brand"). I give you credit for divining DB's logic on the issue, but most of the complaints here are targeted directly at this tone-deaf "management style" and its bevy of empty marketing clichés.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:15 PM ^
Dear David Brandon, er Leonidas:
There is no avenging The Horror. It was a singular event. Respect the word of the ephors.
Thanks.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:15 PM ^
Shouldn't the title here be "On Being Shawn Crable"?
August 26th, 2011 at 2:17 PM ^
This is the dialogue I'm imagining right now:
Dave Brandon: Hey, hey rest of football! I've got huge news!
Rest of Football: What is it, DB?
DB: Remember when we played App State a few years ago?
R/F: Oh yea! You got your shit rocked, that was hilarious.
DB: Yea, well-
R/F: Dude, remember when that kick was blocked?! The media went nuts!
DB: I know, but-
R/F: That game totally killed your program, dude. Thanks for reminding me, I'm going to replay some highlights for the next 4 months.
DB: Well, we decided to play them again! For revenge!!
R/F: What? Why? lololol you're so stupid.
...2 years later, after UM beats App State 54-3...
DB: Hey guys, we won! We beat App State!
R/F: Good, you should have, they're terrible. That loss was hilarious, though, remember when....
August 26th, 2011 at 2:35 PM ^
To be fair, Brandon could then follow up with:
"Hey guys, check out these concession receipts, television money, local advertisements, national coverage, "collectible" memorabilia, and ticket counts for this meaningless early-season matchup with a cupcake. We made as much money as when ND plays here! I guess we'll be adding that new weight room and additions to Crisler even sooner than expected!"
I don't think Brandon is a great AD, but I do think as a businessman he just made a shrewd move.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:48 PM ^
How does this decision make any additional money for the University of Michigan? TV revenue isn't going up (locked in before the season). Ratings aren't going up (non-Michigan fans will only watch as long as we are in danger of losing, as is the case with any cupcake game). Ticket sales can't really go higher than they already are (109,218 people showed up the last time we played Appalachian State). UMass was a sellout last year, so this game doesn't increase revenue over generic cupcake game unless Brandon tries to gauge folks on ticket prices. All the national coverage will consist of reminders about one of the worst losses in school history (don't see that as a positive). I also don't see why scheduling App State would make people more likely to order extra nachos at the concession stand.
The only potential money maker I see in your list is "collectible memorabilia". And frankly, if we see any "We got you fuckers back!" App State merchandise being sold Brian may very well start shooting.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:22 PM ^
Yet another one of your routinely high-quality posts. Good points all. Except that I think in marketing, there always has to be "more." You have to sell everything, all the time. I think it is about selling 2014 season-tickets, even if they are all likely to be sold anyway. Create demand. For when there are 109,000 tickets to sell, plus another 12,000, and then another 12,000 after that. Create demand, so that those $70 tickets can perhaps be $90 or $100 tickets. So that the box-owners feel like they got a steal for their 35k, and they will up to 65k next time. And it is assuredly about ratings, all the time, even when your BTN contract is signed. Because it's always going to be about the next tv contract. Never slow down; never coast.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:48 PM ^
I think Hoke has changed the tide on the rivalry. Hell people in Ohio are starting to believe him. Never in a million years I would have thought that. Selling Michigan jerseys is a good start.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:25 PM ^
For those of use that were there, for those that watched on tv and those that were just fans at the time, why do this? We have all shared the incommunicable expereince of that day- a day should be left in the past.
At what point did DB think this was a good idea?
What should have occurred: "Mr. Brandon, the ASU (NTASU) AD is on the phone for you." DB: "Tell him to go fuck himself."
This game won't be a 'revenge' match like the AD will spin it. There is no taking away what happened back in 2007. That team flat out played better that day and pulled an upset that people will talk about for generations. That is the beauty of this sport of which we all love. With this decision nothing is gained at all. Does DB think I will get some sense of satisfaction if, and I mean if, M wins the 2014 game? becasue I won't. There are not words to express the feeling of walking out of the student section after the kick and I actually think I blacked out the memory of walking home that day.
DB, why are you making us relive this:
From now on I will call for Brandon's termination for the gross inepitude of running the University of Michigan athletic department.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:34 PM ^
Go ahead and call for his termination over a FCS game that is 3+ years from now.
No one will listen.
I'm sorry but people need to just chill out over this.
The first ten minutes after I heard about this game I was bummed. Since then, I am just like whatever.
It's just ONE game. That's it. We will win, and the next week will happen. The sun will rise. We'll probably even be 1-0!
So relax, cheer up, take a drink, whatever you need to do to back off the ledge.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:36 PM ^
"We will win" was to my dad, the day before the App State game. I'm not kidding.
Throw the emotions aside, this is a bad PR move by Brandon. If you really want to think of him as a CEO, then would a CEO take the single worst moment of your company's history and say "hey everyone, rememeber the time that really sucked and people laughed at us? We're gonna do it again!"
This deosn't need to happen. It shouldn't happen. My point is that nothing changes and nothing is gained by scheduling them again.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:35 PM ^
And what about the players on that 2007 team? How do you think they feel about this? Think Mike Hart wants Michigan to never again play App State again? To run away from this school and let them forever hold a 1-0 lead on us would be pitiful.
August 26th, 2011 at 7:13 PM ^
You continue to say we're running away from this game. Where were all these people saying we should play them again 4 days ago? We've had numerous discussions on schedules and was it once brought up, no it was one game. I have never heard this from anyone period. If you want to be able to come back at some random SEC fan with a "oh yeah this time for sure" response that's fine but it won't stop them bringing it up. You think Mike Hart would really feel any better if a team 7 years later beats the school with the same name? No, he can point to what the team accomplished after that setback and that is something he should be proud of.
This is a waste of a game because it just brings up negatives and we get nothing in terms of respect if we win, only derision.
August 26th, 2011 at 5:42 PM ^
who is 1-0 against us. WHY is nobody pointing out that we are hiding from Wesleyan? If we were real men we would play Wesleyan in Middletown, CT for the next 100 years to prove that we are the better football team. Is it because we are scared of Wesleyan? Evidently.
Edit: We are also 0-1 against Arizona State, BYU, Chicago AA, Chicago AC, Cleveland AA, Miss St, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, and Toledo. Schedule those teams ASAP, Brandon, or you're a coward.
August 26th, 2011 at 4:33 PM ^
because YOU ALL did not wear your MAIZE SHIRTS!!!!! There, I said it.
/guilt
August 26th, 2011 at 2:19 PM ^
(I posted this elsewhere but it really belongs here)
Keep that in mind whenever you hear news out of the Athletic Department.
How do you sell bad pizza? Marketing. You want people talking about your product. You want the focus elsewhere than on taste, texture, ingredients quality. Maybe you deliver it super-fast. But to really sell it, you need marketing. Develop a cute cartoony Noid. Have your creative people come up with new branding elements. Then change them. That gets people talking.
What we are seeing here, from various floating stadium expansion proposals, to controversial personnel decisions, to flirting with mascots, to piped-in music, to rescheduling App State, is about generating product buzz. What else could a reasonable person expect from the former chief of a franchise operation that sells bad pizza?
August 26th, 2011 at 2:19 PM ^
Yeah, so they beat us once. We'll let some time pass and even the score. Worked for Thomas Hearns against Iran Barkley, right?
And, if recent history is any indication, the game is sure to have some extra marketing hook -- perhaps the debut of a giant Domino's Pizza logo in place of the M at the 50-yard line.
This crap is making me old, tired and grouchy. I want the season to start tomorrow.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:25 PM ^
...is if we would have scheduled the game at AppState.
Give App State a reward for the biggest upset in college football history by having a major school showing some humility by appropriately respecting their program and playing in a stadium that seats 25K.
But this way...just idiotic.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:34 PM ^
THAT is the way you show respect, (and no fear) to an opponent if your douchebag-of-an-athletic director feels compelled to schedule a game like this.
Screw the $, it would hardly bankrupt the athlectic dept., if anything, the Michigan Brand would shine a little brighter by showing some class.
I yearn for a day when scheduling cupcakes (specifically lower division schools) will be outlawed.
Honestly, if you had to fight the tough-guy down the street, do you think beating up the little neighbor kid the week before would be a good first step?
August 26th, 2011 at 2:30 PM ^
Although I'm not completely sold on some of his decisions, I think we would be remiss to ignore the positive things that DB has done for Michigan.
- I was at the Big Chill and thought it was an incredible event, despite the curly fries (which to me were not that big of a deal because it was a special event and not a football game)
- I will be at the ND Night Game, also an event I am super excited about
- He handled the violations extremely well IMO
- I also think he is doing a good job re-branding Michigan for a younger audience, which includes youner recruits
And let's not forget that of all the negative things Brian listed, only these have actually happened (granted some of these suck, but they are not unforgiveable sins):
- curly fries in Michigan Stadium
- sponsored spring game
- The Squeakuel
- RAWK
August 26th, 2011 at 2:52 PM ^
but did Michigan Football really need "re-branding?" Ask whether or not OSU, Alabama, USC, etc. needed re-branding (I tried to use teams that were top 5/top 10 over the past 10 years). Re-branding always sounds like a justification, rather than a reason.
And, while the CMO has claimed the AD won't do things the fans don't want, we had a long, drawn out effort on mascots...who, exactly, was demanding a mascot at Michigan Stadium?
August 26th, 2011 at 3:00 PM ^
more like re-Brandoning. zing!
August 26th, 2011 at 3:18 PM ^
I still don't get the strong aversion to curly fries at the stadium. I'm not partial either way, just wonder why they get added to the list of things he's done pro/con...
I guess I just don't see how not having curly fries is some special part of the Michigan tradition.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:27 PM ^
The 2007 game already happened. It's too late to undo it. Michigan and App State will be linked forever.....you might as well embrace it.
I don't have any problem at all with DB's decision. So what it they replay the blocked field goal over and over and over? It's not going to change the fact that it happened. Do you really care if people laugh about it? It happened. Embrace it. Move on.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:43 PM ^
To the rest of college football fans (and potential fans) it doesn't look like we've moved on.
It doesn't look like we maned up & admitted that App state caught us with our pants down and was the better team that day.
It looks like we're obsessed, childish, and trying to "even the score" . . . against lil ol App State.
Pathetic.
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