Your MGoAvatar is the new HC for The Game
I'm tired of being sad, so I figured why not have a little fun leading up to The Game.
Your MGoAvatar is now the new head coach at Michigan. Congratulations!
-How would you prepare/motivate your players?
-Pregame rituals before The Game?
-How would you deal with the media?
Have FUN (seriously, no negative crap) and go crazy.
November 25th, 2013 at 2:15 PM ^
I always wondered what the fuck your avatar was.
November 25th, 2013 at 7:38 PM ^
Your avatar needs moar ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK HEAVY METAL.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:14 PM ^
do this:
November 25th, 2013 at 1:17 PM ^
- Help Devin overcome his confidence problem by giving him a day off in Ann Arbor perusing museums, dining in fine restaurants, taking in a baseball game, and finishing off by beating the shit out of Urban Meyer's rare Ferrari.
- Loosening the team up pregame by reminding them that, "Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it."
- Perform halftime show lip-synching the Beatles' "Twist and Shout" aboard an Octoberfest-themed parade float, surrounded by buxom young ladies in lederhosen.
November 25th, 2013 at 7:00 PM ^
This has to be the first time the phrase "surrounded by buxom young ladies in lederhosen" has been written on the site. If not, that's a thread that was probably pretty crazy.
I'd probably cheer. And use a megaphone to yell.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:15 PM ^
Though the Bear Jew is world reknowned for his toughness and dietary ingenuity (prepare for lots of salmon and berries o-line!) his off-season conditioning program of hibernation has yet to produce optimal results in strength gains.
The fact he would refuse to coach on Shabbat might also be an issue since The Game is still scheduled for Saturday before sundown.
Despite his limitations, he would most likely maul the Free Press press corps at his first presser . . . only if they're kosher though.
He at least merits an interview.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:17 PM ^
1. Hustle. Then pump up the players and the crowd by waving my arms.
2. Dive for loose balls. Put myself in the game to block.
3. Take selfies
November 25th, 2013 at 2:23 PM ^
You forgot:
Change pre-game music to Justin Beiber.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:18 PM ^
First silence dissenting voices in the media through threats or buying them off.
Next, implement a little "blue book" (could not be red obviously)
Finally, put up giant posters all over featuring me and my staff wiith words like "toughness, physical, youth, and execution" under them.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:21 PM ^
Bullshit, Santa Claus. You aren't even a real avatar.
November 25th, 2013 at 5:57 PM ^
You don't have an avatar but that's hilarious and makes up for it
November 25th, 2013 at 1:20 PM ^
A confident nod from Amadou Ba is all you need to accomplish anything in life. He is also big enough to throw Borges out of the press box window and replace his playbook with a copy of Madden '94. A nice mix of off-tackle (got to bounce it outside though) and hail mary will lead to victory. 90% of extra points and field goal attempts will be blocked as well once our guys learn to get super close to the line and come hard off the edge.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:20 PM ^
November 25th, 2013 at 1:21 PM ^
Was it over when the German's bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! And it ain't over now. Cause when the goin get's tough...
November 25th, 2013 at 1:24 PM ^
Add strobe lights to the stadium for the wow factor.
Make the jerseys neon colored.
Creed performing live on a seperate stage throughout the game.
Free Pizza for everyone.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:52 PM ^
Can we get Creed to wear rocket packs and deliver the pizzas directly to the blue hairs in their seats as they sing that one song that sounds like all of their other songs?
November 25th, 2013 at 2:04 PM ^
you forgot to specify that Creed would be shirtless and wearing leather pants for this.
November 25th, 2013 at 2:33 PM ^
you would charge us for the pizzas.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:26 PM ^
Enjoy the cold oblivion of space.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:26 PM ^
How would you prepare/motivate your players?
A - A mix tape of The Beets
Pregame rituals before The Game?
A - A hunt for the elusive nematode
How would you deal with the media?
A - Switch out of my Quailman outfit, no one could identify me without my belt headband.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:27 PM ^
Pretty sure my avatar was the gameplan for Iowa. We will do everything that is not this.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:27 PM ^
I would kidnap all of the players to my secret subterranbean lair and make them answer tough existential questions through a series of life and death role playing games. Plus psychological abuse and torture. I would also wage a guerrilla war to send both the NCAA and OSU into disarray and madness in the week prior to the Game. Finally, we would all take the field in Guy Fawkes masks and nobody on OSU would have any idea who it was they were playing against.
Victory would surely follow.
November 25th, 2013 at 3:02 PM ^
I've got a new baby at home, and things have been a little rough. So I'd have to delegate. First I'd hire my friend as OC to see if she could fire up the troops with a little song-and-dance routine:
November 25th, 2013 at 1:29 PM ^
November 25th, 2013 at 1:30 PM ^
If I'm not winning the game, I will change the rules until I am.
November 25th, 2013 at 2:24 PM ^
Hhahah! nice. Calvin & Hobbes is my shit.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:31 PM ^
November 25th, 2013 at 1:32 PM ^
Knowing that world dominance lies in the smouldering tip of a Maybelline eyebrow pencil, I would first shave off the player's eyebrows and draw new ones on - big, scary ones. Then I would draw Snidely Whiplash mustaches on all opponents. Facial hair, I've learned, seems to be the key to winning and losing in high level sports.
November 25th, 2013 at 2:16 PM ^
Thanks for making me laugh. That is priceless.
November 26th, 2013 at 1:21 PM ^
While you're at it, pencil some eyebrows on Ryan Shazier. Everytime I see that guy getting interviewed, it's like watching the African-American version of Powder.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:32 PM ^
November 25th, 2013 at 1:49 PM ^
Bravo.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:32 PM ^
A trip to the Chicago Art Institute, with special emphasis on works showing victorious stances and acts of bravery. Would also have alternate uniforms in powder blue with ruffles.
A rousing monologue from Henry V. Would need to choose between "St. Crispins Day" and "Once More Unto the Breach".
Would require all questions to be posed in verse. All answers would reference how sportsmanly the athletes competed and note that scarlet and silver are a less-than-refined color combination.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:33 PM ^
November 25th, 2013 at 1:39 PM ^
Be honest, you'd be too busy relentlessly stalking an opposing cheerleader to do any of that.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:45 PM ^
Well, if I coach the team to a win, the waitress...err, I mean the cheerleader... will be so impressed that she will immediately accept my hand in marriage. It's all a part of the plan.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:34 PM ^
November 25th, 2013 at 1:34 PM ^
Just. Beat. OHIO!!!!!!!
November 25th, 2013 at 1:36 PM ^
im scaring the crap out of osu before the game with the sounds of 530 horses roaring out of the magna flows'
then a smoke show before each reverse to throw off the defense, and to hide our blitzes...
will open the t-tops for the sweet fade up the sideline...
will celebrate with the sweet sounds of night ranger and pantera as we put the player of the game on top to parade around the stadium
November 25th, 2013 at 1:44 PM ^
Walk on homeboy.
November 25th, 2013 at 2:15 PM ^
There is nothing more badass than the outro of "Walk"! Serious ballwalkin'.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:37 PM ^
November 25th, 2013 at 1:42 PM ^
This could go pretty ok, I think.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:42 PM ^
is a mix of John L. Smith and Kevin Borseth. My pet pig will be the running back and the boy band I kidnapped will help us win the game. Every play is a trick play. or not. who knows. I'm taller than Dipper.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:43 PM ^
1) I'd tell them the expectation is for the position
2) I wash myself with a rag on a stick before The Game
3) I would deny the validity of the bubble screen.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:44 PM ^
Well, borges is dead
November 25th, 2013 at 1:44 PM ^
Uh oh...
November 25th, 2013 at 1:45 PM ^
and eternal damnation.
November 25th, 2013 at 1:45 PM ^
Pick and roll! Why is this ball not round?
November 25th, 2013 at 1:49 PM ^
I'm not sure about preparing the players, but there will be no laces in our Adidas. I'd deal with the media by answering all questions with "You Talk Too Much" lyrics, and listening to "Down with the King" will be a part of our pregame ritual. Also, instead of the coaches shaking hands after Michigan wins, Meyer will kiss my class ring.