OT: Post your "It can always get worse" story
Credit to Wendy5K for her idea in another thread
It can't possibly get worse?!?!?! Well, yes it can actually...let's hear your stories about when it actually did
Mine:
A couple years ago I had to take a business trip which I didn't want to make on a cramped plane and my seat, which I upgraded at check-in, was actually worse than I had booked. I thought I had a reprieve as the middle seat between me and the other passenger was empty but just before the doors closed a very rotund man in a white short sleeve shirt boarded and of course the middle seat was his. I thought it odd he had some stains on his short sleeve white collar shirt then looked out the window awaiting the plane to take off.
Out of the corner of my eye I noticed the gentleman wiping his nose and sniffling and I thought great I'm stuck next to someone who is sick as the guy took up more than just his seat. When I took a closer look the reason he was sniffling was because he was bleeding out of his nose & dripping on his shirt (those stains). I reasoned he was on blood thinner and so now I'm stuck on a cramped plane on a long flight for a trip I hated to take with a guy who was getting drops of blood all over next to me while I'm wedged next to the window quietly freaking out over the next few hours noting how even the stewardess avoided us.
February 2nd, 2021 at 12:21 PM ^
I didn't think it could get worse until I read your post.
February 2nd, 2021 at 12:23 PM ^
Just wait for the replies...
February 2nd, 2021 at 12:23 PM ^
Thanks for contributing.
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:44 PM ^
Just remember: These are the the good old days. .
February 2nd, 2021 at 12:27 PM ^
I was the AD for a large public university. Our football coach had reached great success, but in recent years things had lost steam. Many were afraid we were falling behind the quickly changing game. I then moved to hire an offensive innovator to bring what all the cool programs were calling the "spread." You won't believe what happened next....
February 2nd, 2021 at 12:31 PM ^
On my honeymoon, we had a connection in Minneapolis (Honolulu was the end destination). Got delayed by 3 hours, killed almost a half day in Hawaii. We landed, and I said, "we're here, it can't get any worse."
It turned out one of our bags was missing, and they didn't know when they could get it to us.
Well, I guess we'll have to go shopping for clothes at the Ala Moana mall, right? Couldn't get any worse, right?
It turns out there was a medication in that bag, and losing it nearly caused me to die.
It was my wife's birth control.
February 2nd, 2021 at 12:36 PM ^
"and that, my little Ala Moana, is how you came to be."
February 2nd, 2021 at 7:10 PM ^
You’re supposed to put meds in carry ons. I assume you do that now.
February 2nd, 2021 at 8:27 PM ^
Had kind of a similar incident on our honeymoon. PDX to Miami to Jamaica. About to board the plane in Portland, my wife had one of those crystal light packets. She opened it and somehow mishandled her water bottle and got concentrated red liquid all over her pants. It looks like she murdered someone.
Then we got to Miami. Could it get worse? Our flight was delayed to the point we decided to get a hotel room. People above us were stomping around and AC wasn't working. We were exhausted and barely slept.
But we weren't done yet....we made it to Jamaica and like you...our suitcase was missing. My wife was still wearing her "bloodstained" pants and was stuck in that outfit for another 2 days.
February 2nd, 2021 at 12:34 PM ^
I was visiting a rural school in a developing country and the stomach rumbles started. It was diarrhea contractions, the kind where you're pretty sure you know how pregnancy feels. Huge massive pain in the stomach where you have to clench to keep the poo in, followed by a few minutes of reprieve, but then followed by an even more intense contraction at a closer interval.
Fortunately, there was a rough approximation of a bathroom, so I sprinted in and let loose. It then occurred to me that I had no toilet paper and that there was definitely no TP in that bathroom. I poked my head out of the stall to do a quick scan of the room. Literally the only non-metal object in the room was a dirty rag that looked like it had been used to clean the toilet. It screamed "Hepatitis A". It was either that or not wiping, and I could feel the rash that would result from a gambit like not wiping. Taking the shirt off my own back and using that to wipe was the only option other than the rag, and I thought it would be slightly odd to come out with no top on.
I used the rag.
February 2nd, 2021 at 12:50 PM ^
Very similar situation happened to me visiting East Lansing for the MSU game in 2013.
February 2nd, 2021 at 3:54 PM ^
That's why the smart folks in Columbus have coolers.
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:03 PM ^
A sock perhaps, or the underwear you were wearing?
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:04 PM ^
This is why you always wear socks. They serve as an OK emergency toilet paper option wherever you go.
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:47 PM ^
gonna be honest...i didn't get Hep A just a nasty rash...but it could've been worse
February 2nd, 2021 at 2:18 PM ^
In early January 2020, I developed a dry, hacking, unproductive cough that persisted for over a month. I'd never had any cold like it before, but it was more irritating than debilitating. There was no fever, fatigue, loss of taste, or other outward symptoms of anything unusual. Just that damn coughing. Except for one thing.
My birthday was in the first week of February, and my wife and I celebrated by going out to eat at a downtown restaurant which we followed with a movie at the Michigan Theatre. Both of us had the same simple thing to eat—a really good hamburger and fries, which I washed down with a Two Hearted. Totally normal and unadventurous.
We get settled in our seats in the theater, and everything's fine for about 20 minutes when suddenly my intestinal tract starts churning and burbling and roiling in an urgent way that I've never encountered before. The discomfort passed after a minute or two, and I passed it off as a momentary gas bubble. That relief proved illusory as my innards started churning with a vengeance, and shortly I was sweating in increasing panic that I was literally going to shit my pants on my birthday in the wonderful old Michigan Theatre. I wasn't sure what was going to happen if I stood up.
After an eternity of a few more agonizing minutes I couldn't stand it any longer and I got up to make a run for the men's room, praying that I could keep things clenched until I got there. I was thankful that the theatre was still dark.
I was able to reach the john without incident and found to my huge relief that it was empty—If I had had to wait in a crowded restroom for a toilet to open up, I would probably have had to re-enact the scene from "Bridesmaids."
I was especially glad that it was empty once I got myself into the stall and was finally able to cede control to nature because every surface in the men's room seemed to be tiled and the sounds of the colonic carnage reverberated like I was inside a fecal snare drum.
After several minutes of repeated spasms I was finally emptied and cleaned, and then discovered to my horror that the violence of the affair had spread things over the back of the commode, necessitating another grim cleaning session. By the time I exited the stall, one guy had already come in and the horrified expression on his face was easy to read.
Fast forward a month... mercifully I had no more intestinal episodes, but by then Wuhan had already become an apocalyptic nightmare, Italy was getting hammered, and the first cases of COVID has been recorded in Michigan. The various symptoms of COVID-19 include a dry, hacking, persistent cough and the shits, and I still wonder if I had caught the virus in early January.
I'll never be able to sit in the Michigan Theatre again without thinking of that 2020 birthday.
February 2nd, 2021 at 2:27 PM ^
we may need to create a separate poop stories thread
February 2nd, 2021 at 2:40 PM ^
I guess I should have posted it in the Diarrheas section.
February 2nd, 2021 at 4:19 PM ^
Similarly, I'm pretty sure I caught it in mid/late-Jan 2020. Drove up to Vail to meet some friends in from Michigan - 3 days of sharing gondolas and crowded lunch stops/bars. Roughly 2 weeks later, I felt quite shitty (figuratively and literally) for a few days and my wife and kids were also hit and knocked down for about 48 hours.
February 2nd, 2021 at 5:23 PM ^
I traveled to Florida and back just from Jan 1 - 7, 2020, and about a week later I got sick with the worst unproductive cough of my life. It lasted for about 3 weeks, until the first part of Feb. It got so bad I think I pulled muscles in my ribcage and it became incredibly painful to cough. I couldn't sleep. I started taking the max dosage of Guaifenesin expectorant, and after 3 days I still had the terrible unproductive cough and began to get more feverish. I started to worry a bit, and said to myself if I don't start feeling better in 6 hours or so I was going in to Urgent Care. Luckily, about 4 hours later I started to feel a bit better and my cough became productive.
Then, 2 days later, I lost my sense of taste, and that lasted for about 6 weeks. This was all before any of these symptoms were well known. I have since thought about donating blood so I could get a gratis COVID serology test, but I blew it off.
February 3rd, 2021 at 10:06 AM ^
Several of these have insinuated they they believe the subject got Covid a couple months prior to the "official" arrival of the virus as "reported" to us by the mainstream media.
There are thousands upon thousands upon thousands of people that believe they had it earlier, and I am one that believes the virus was here months before what is being portrayed, and worked its way through my household.
My special needs son, as mentioned below, was in the pediatric ICU for 6 days in December of 2019 (middle of month). He was in bad, bad, bad shape and it was all respiratory. He was certainly on the ventilator and was out cold for most of it. Over that Christmas break , his healthy-as-a-bull big brother spent 3 straight days in bed with his own respiratory illness.
A few months later it is reported to us that this new and severe respiratory virus from China has stormed the beach and made it's way to the US, but has only been here a week or two. To which my wife and I responded "yeah, right".
February 2nd, 2021 at 12:37 PM ^
Michigan’s offensive line 2012-13.
February 2nd, 2021 at 12:50 PM ^
I bought GME at $425
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:34 PM ^
See you on the Moon, fellow moron.
PS - can’t book a loss if you never sell!
February 2nd, 2021 at 2:49 PM ^
Best quote of the day on WSB - "The movement really suckered in a lot of people who have no business being here. It's a stock, not a holy war against institutional finance"
February 2nd, 2021 at 3:51 PM ^
Buy $CCIV
*not financial advice disclaimer*
February 2nd, 2021 at 12:54 PM ^
It can always get worse, unless you've ever eaten Haribo Sugar-Free Gummies.
February 2nd, 2021 at 12:57 PM ^
I swam competitively as a kid. One summer our pool was closed and we had to go to a neighboring town to practice.
One day I forgot to put underwear in the swim bag. (It was somewhat customary to wear your suit under shorts in the morning to save changing time.) So, bad.
Worse: I rode home that day in the back of a pickup with about ten other kids. (No, that's not something I can imagine doing today.) About a mile in I got a random road boner. I had to keep it pinched between my legs for a fifteen-mile trip.
If it had gotten loose I would've pitched a tent (shorts were light Umbros). They'd still be talking about it.
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:13 PM ^
your avatar appears to be pinching a road boner
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:33 PM ^
I heard someone mention my name???
February 2nd, 2021 at 2:30 PM ^
Sorry. False alarm!
February 2nd, 2021 at 4:11 PM ^
It could have been worse ... if someone in the truck pitched a bigger tent.
February 2nd, 2021 at 12:58 PM ^
I'm on a late afternoon flight to Atlanta from IAD in 1999 or 2000. Constant delays, but we are finally allowed to board. My boss sent me to Atlanta to do stuff I could have done over the phone with a powerpoint presentation, but I like to go bye byes anyway so I'm fine with the trip. It was a last minute decision to send me and I was on a different flight than my 2 co-workers were on.
I get in my seat (it's an Air Trans flight...used to be ValuJet for those with a knowledge of aviation disasters) which is at the wing. I'm in the aisle seat and a woman next to me is at the window. We start to taxi to the runway. The woman next to me turns to me and says, "what's that coming out of the wing?" I look out the window and one of the flush mounted bolts is bobbing up and down in the hole and jet fuel is leaking out of the hole. I told her what it was and pushed the buzzer for the flight attendant. The flight attendant comes to where we are and the woman next to me and I tell her to look at the wing as we are losing fuel. Some moron behind me says, "I think it's hydraulic fluid." I say no as hydraulic fluid would probably be red or purple and the stuff coming out of the wing wasn't as viscous as hydraulic fluid.
The flight attendant doesn't say anything and walks back to the front of the plane. Then the captain gets on the intercom and tells us we'll be leaving shortly and should arrive at Atlanta; I forget what time he said.
I push the button again for the flight attendant. She comes back visibly angry and asks, "What do you want?" I ask if she told the pilot about the fuel leak. She doesn't answer and turns on her heel and walks to the front of the plane. We stop moving. The pilot comes back to where we are sitting, looks out at the wing and then says to the woman and me, "Thank you" and sighs. He heads back to the cockpit, gets on the intercom and tells us we have a maintenance issue and need to head back to terminal.
While we sit there the maintenance guys try to fix the problem. My guess is the threads were stripped in the hole and the bolt had nothing to screw into. After an hour or so the flight was cancelled. We disembark and try to find a later fight to Atlanta. I get a seat on the last plane out at midnight.
We land and just when I think it couldn't get worse...
Everything in the airport is closed. My rental car desk is dark and nobody is around. My hotel doesn't do shuttle service to the airport (the other side of the city away from the airport) and I end up waiting 30 minutes for a taxi. I finally get into my hotel room around 4 am, sleep 2 hours and I'm up at 6 am for a 7 am departure for the office with my co-workers.
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:06 PM ^
Brian Ellerbe
February 2nd, 2021 at 2:57 PM ^
early morning flight from Düsseldorf to Atlanta. Four hour layover with lots of beer. As we begin to take off for LAX I hear a pop and then see a fire ball shooting out the back of the engine under the wing. I was immediately drenched in sweat, thought the wing was going to explode.
after about ten seconds the engine is turned off and the fire is out but we’re too far along to stop. The other engine managed to get us off the ground. We circled for two hours to burn fuel before our emergency landing. Very hard landing, fire trucks hosed down the engine and wing. Then we were towed back to the gate which took forever.
Two hours later we all board a new plane for LA. Land after midnight and somehow they wanted us to park at a gate that still had a plane at it, guess they couldn’t figure out how to find an open gate at 1am. 30 minutes waiting and we finally get to the gate.
Tony Gonzalez and wife and two children were in 1st. Had we died it would have been “Tony Gonzalez, Wife, Two Children, and 160 Others.....”.
long day
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:10 PM ^
Me looking towards the 2010 football season - "There's no way the defense could get any worse than last year."
I learned my lesson. I will never say that again.
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:14 PM ^
I have a 10-month old and my wife and I switch night duty and this was IDK 5 months ago. Baby had just gotten some vaccines earlier that day and I was on night duty. I wake up to the baby crapping his pants. It’s like 4am and I have to work next morning, this sucks, oh well, time to change his diaper. Whew, not a blowout, yay!!!
Remove diaper, clean him up, dead-tired, thinking wow that wasn’t that bad, still get some sleep. Stepped away to put dirty diaper in can, thought “I should put new diaper over him just in case he pees”, nah it’ll take 2 seconds. Take 1 step to the can and projectile runny feces rainbows out of him all over the top of the can, side of the dresser and onto the floor. Liquid feces everywhere. Stood there shaking my head as I couldn’t comprehend what just happened. Needless to say didn’t get much sleep that night.
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:43 PM ^
Yep, my wife and I called that the 'flying shits' when our oldest (then 6 months old) did it.
February 2nd, 2021 at 6:36 PM ^
Ouch. Brings back a memory.
February 3rd, 2021 at 7:20 AM ^
Few things are more rewarding/funnier than seeing the look on the face of a new father to be as you tell him stories like that and inform him that he will be dealing with poop in ways he never DREAMED were possible.
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:15 PM ^
Almost got strip searched getting onto a plane out of Israel.
My reward: sitting next to a woman who took up her seat and most of mine and cried for 10 hours all the way home, for reasons unbeknownst to me.
Then, the plane crashed.
OK, the last part was untrue, but if it were true, man, what a story!
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:25 PM ^
I fly to israel 3-4x a year for work. I'm also brown.
I. Will. Always. Get. "Randomly" held for the additional screening. No matter how many times I go, who else I travel with, or however many letters from my company's lawyer asserting I have legitimate business there.
But, I'm usually in/out in an hour or two. And I almost always encounter someone from a middle eastern country who has been there at least 12 hours, so it could be worse.
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:55 PM ^
I almost always get pulled out of line for additional screening and I'm an old, half bald white guy...I have a very common name so they may have someone on their watch list with the same name who knows.
When I cross the border I also get hassled everytime....same reason due to name.
February 2nd, 2021 at 2:27 PM ^
You could change your name to Engelbert Humperdinck. It worked out well for Arnold Dorsey.
February 2nd, 2021 at 5:39 PM ^
I have a friend who apparently had the same name as a someone who was involved in trafficking meth between the US and Canada.
That's why Canadian Customs was very excited to nab my friend when he disembarked a cruise ship in 2018. He was brought to an interrogation room where he was greeted by two armed officers in full body armor. Apparenty one was named "Officer Redwood" who was was about the size of a tree.
They started questioning him, "Do you still live in New York?" (he's never lived in New York). "Do still have a commercial trucking license?" That's when my friend showed them his law license. Suddenly, the room got very quiet. The officers checked his records and then apologized in a very Canadian manner.
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:21 PM ^
I have a really great story, but I don't feel like paying for a burner account to tell it.
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:44 PM ^
Ah, c'mon, take a chance with your current account. I'm certain the mods will be merciful.
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:23 PM ^
Remember when your beloved football team was 7-5 in 2005, featuring disappointing home losses to Notre Dame, Minnesota, and Ohio State? When things were so bad it was called by a certain esteemed blogger the "Year of Infinite Pain"?
Things got worse. Much, much, much worse.
February 2nd, 2021 at 1:29 PM ^
I take blood thinners. That isn't what happens.
Sorry to contribute a serious one: In 2011 my wife had a pretty rough pregnancy that included a brief hospitalization and months of bed rest. While it went full term, it concluded with an emergency caesarean after a brutal labor. Oldest son was born strong as a bull and is now a very active 4th grader, turning 10 in a few weeks.
On New Years Day of 2013, I took my pregnant wife to the hospital for symptoms very similar to the 1st pregnancy. So I wasn't shocked. Planned to batten down the hatches and endure a few rough months before an April 15 due date. Not so. 6 days later she gives birth to a 1 lb, 6 oz micro preemie at 25 weeks. He proceeds to nearly die a few times during his 311 days in the NICU before coming home to our house, where he lived with full time nursing care and on a ventilator. He has grown and developed over the years, and just turned 8. He goes to 1st grade with the "regular kids" but has full time aides at school. He is tube fed and shits in a diaper still to this day. I will likely be caring for him for the rest of our lives and I have written off the concept of becoming an "empty nester". But I love him dearly and it's a tremendous pleasure to be his father.