OT: A Cox, a cabbie, and a burrito walk into a bar at MSU
Normally don't post things like this but.... man. At least the burrito was unharmed
http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/story/news/local/2016/12/08/police-m…
December 8th, 2016 at 3:49 PM ^
December 8th, 2016 at 9:05 PM ^
December 8th, 2016 at 3:38 PM ^
I bet because of Cox, the cab driver's nose is now...out of position.
December 8th, 2016 at 3:46 PM ^
hioooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
December 8th, 2016 at 3:38 PM ^
Sparty no! Too funny, you can't make this stuff up. Maybe Mike Dantoni should think a little longer before he picks next season's captains.
December 8th, 2016 at 3:39 PM ^
All MSU football players are Cox.
December 8th, 2016 at 3:40 PM ^
That's harsh. But Cox certainly is a dick
December 8th, 2016 at 3:42 PM ^
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December 8th, 2016 at 4:25 PM ^
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December 8th, 2016 at 3:43 PM ^
Hilarious that he's a team captian for Mike ItsADigiorno's team.
December 8th, 2016 at 4:08 PM ^
that got me man. Mike ItsaDigiorno. I'll be stealing that thank you very much
December 8th, 2016 at 3:44 PM ^
How drunk must he have been to direct the cab driver in a loop back to where they started. That's like something from a movie.
December 8th, 2016 at 3:50 PM ^
No further message.
December 8th, 2016 at 3:52 PM ^
Cabbie - Where you headed?
D. Cox - Home, man. Take me home.
Cabbie - OK, what's the address?
D. Cox - I don't know - I'll give you directions.
Cabbie - OK.
D. Cox - Go up to the light, and turn left. Good. Now go up to the next light. Good - turn left. Now, at the next light ... left. OK, this is looking familiar! Turn left at the next light.
Cabbie - Uhmmm. Sir?
D. Cox - Awwwwhhhh, shit. OK, man. I've got this. Go up to the light, and turn left. Good. Now go up to the next light. Good - turn left. Now, at the next light ... left. OK, this is looking familiar! Turn left at the next light.
pause
D. Cox - Damn. You did it wrong.
Cabbie - Is this like a reverse Taxi Cab Confessions or something?
December 8th, 2016 at 3:52 PM ^
December 8th, 2016 at 3:57 PM ^
It could have been a different burrito. Don't assume. /s
December 8th, 2016 at 10:56 PM ^
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December 8th, 2016 at 3:59 PM ^
...National Lampoon's East Lansing Vacation.
December 8th, 2016 at 8:51 PM ^
This time, not even the couches are safe.
December 8th, 2016 at 4:22 PM ^
Groundhog day?
December 8th, 2016 at 3:45 PM ^
That's really an amazing story - after the cab driver calls the police, Cox asks the cops for a lift home. After being cased for an assault!
I've often accused the ELPD of having an overly-cozy relationship with MSU athletes. This certainly supports that impression.
December 8th, 2016 at 3:52 PM ^
How does this incident support that impression? The cop's reaction was to arrest him and take him to the station to get booked, where he sat in jail for 12 hours.
December 8th, 2016 at 4:13 PM ^
It indicates a level of comfort that many of us did not have when the cops were talking to us after midnight. Moreso, the request came in conjunction with a criminal field investigation.
I'm not saying the cop here did anything wrong. But it seemed that Cox's impression was that he was entitled to a ride home from the ELPD.
If I were wasted and being questioned by the cops, I'm pretty sure I would be wanting to get out of their presence ASAP. Especially if I was being accused of A&B.
December 8th, 2016 at 4:25 PM ^
I'm with OA on this one. I'll attribute Cox's relaxed demeanor when he was clearly in trouble to the fact that he was in the totally gone type of wasted as opposed to systematic failure to hold athletes accountable for their actions. While the latter could very well be true in many other cases, in this one it seemed like he was questioned and then arrested promptly.
He may have still assumed they'd let him go, but at .22, my guess is that would have been because he's doesn't remember punching a guy in the first place. He may not have even remembered who he was by that time. That's some kind of hammered.
But to assume that they'd let him go if that's been the precedent would require him to have a coherent thought. I would suspect Cox's train of thought while that drunk was less "eh, these EL cops will let the football captain go" and more "I AM INVINSIBLE. WHAT WAS I JUST DOING FIVE MINUTES AGO? WHO ARE THESE GUYS WITH FLASHLIGHTS? OM NOM NOM BURRITO."
December 8th, 2016 at 4:57 PM ^
Edit: Night_King beat me to it.
December 8th, 2016 at 5:07 PM ^
Well. Except the cabbie.
December 8th, 2016 at 5:00 PM ^
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December 8th, 2016 at 3:46 PM ^
December 8th, 2016 at 3:47 PM ^
Perhaps the Burrito did it. Did anybody get a statement from the Burrito?
The best part of the story was Cox giving the cabbie directions back to where he was picked up. Talk about a WTF moment for that poor cabbie.
December 8th, 2016 at 3:50 PM ^
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December 8th, 2016 at 3:51 PM ^
December 8th, 2016 at 11:04 PM ^
Can a burro get his due plz?
December 8th, 2016 at 3:57 PM ^
Cox - "WHAT?! This is The Riv, you asshole. I wanted to go home. I'm-a Panchero you in the nose, bitch."
December 8th, 2016 at 4:17 PM ^
I came here just to upvote the headline
December 8th, 2016 at 4:26 PM ^
I clicked to see a pic of the walking Burrito.
Sadly, the link only shows a Cox.
December 8th, 2016 at 4:36 PM ^
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December 8th, 2016 at 4:47 PM ^
I noticed the article referred to Cox as a former player. They shouldn't call him that while there are still games to be played. Oh, right.
December 8th, 2016 at 4:56 PM ^
I bet he still plays in the bowl gam........ohhhh waiiiiiiiiit
December 8th, 2016 at 5:14 PM ^
Was it so huge that he was still eating it when the cops got there? Did the cops respond that quickly that he was still eating a regular burrito? Was there a second burrito? Did the first burrito act alone?
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December 8th, 2016 at 5:16 PM ^
and love watching them get hammered by the Wolverines. But I take no joy in the troubles encountered by any individual player on any team. Life is tough enough for a college kid, without having every mistake plastered all over social media primarily because you play sports. Here's hoping his positive experiences at MSU aren't wasted because of this incident.
But the headline is the best I've seen here in a while.
December 8th, 2016 at 6:20 PM ^
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December 8th, 2016 at 5:21 PM ^
punching a cab driver >>> trying to drive while that hammered
December 8th, 2016 at 6:19 PM ^
Hardest hit he's delivered all year.
December 8th, 2016 at 7:05 PM ^
At least for MooU theg won't have to declare him ineligible fod a bowl game!
December 8th, 2016 at 7:06 PM ^
At least for MooU they won't have to declare him ineligible for a bowl game!