OT - Alaskans Know Their Wolverines
Greetings from the top of the world! Up here in Ketchikan a guy was hiking up a mountain and spotted a little bear cub with its head stuck in a plastic jug. But, since the animal was covered up by snow, he didn't really know what it was. Here's the telling quote: "I knew it wasn't a marten, so I thought it was either a bear cub or a wolverine. A bear cub I can handle, but if it's a wolverine and I pull that jug off, I'm toast."
[EDIT - PGB: Courtesy of MGoUser Raoul: Ketchikan man helps bear cub get head out of plastic jar]
I thought this was going to be a thread about Sarah Palin.
me too
you see Russia from where you are?
no... but I am in Grand Rapids
But you can just about see Holland...........
\Has experience in foreign relations now
Don wins the thread.
/nopolitics!
This post should qualify for bonus moderator granted mgopoints.
Half-baked post but I laughed regardless.
On a side note, why can't we win games in Alaska?
i get it. he's saying that wolverines are nastiest, scariest motherfuckers in the world for their size. he'd rather fuck with a baby bear (which might have its mom nearby), but ain't no way he's fucking with a wolverine.
Many people know that a buckeye nut is poisonous. Doesn't mean they know or care about OSU Buckeyes and that we need a thread on how they are a bunch of motherfu...wait, never mind. Bad comparison to try to prove my point on the stupidity of this thread.
So there is nothing else to the story? If it was a wolverine he just left it for dead?
Wolverines are too smart to get their heads stuck in jars.
Jars are too smart to get stuck on a wolverine's head.
I wish I'd said that. :(
And the guy rescued it. He was afraid that it might be a wolverine, in which case, he did not want to mess with it.
I liked it. Don't mess with the gulo gulo.
Honey Badger vs. Wolverine, who wins?
wins.
...Yeah.
The honey badger's big problem will be that the wolverine does give a shit.
Wolverine would win in a heartbeat. I mean we are talking about an animal that climbs straight up a mountain because it can. We are talking about an animal that will go into a trap to defeat a rival wolverine.
March 13th, 2012 at 10:12 AM ^
Rival Wolverine? What about "THE TEAM, THE TEAM, THE TEAM"?
Ditka vs. a Wolverine. Who wins??
Or a mini-Ditka?
Full-sized Ditka with a rifle BUT with no snow shoes.
A real wolverine but the smallest of the litter.
Does Wolverine Ditka have a bratwurst lodged in the lining of his heart?
Human Ditka decides that it wouldn't be fair to shoot Wolverine Ditka, so he only swings at Wolverine Ditka with his rifle butt. Wolverine Ditka is far more agile in the snow than Human Ditka (who doesn't even have snow shoes), and he grabs the rifle and rips it in two. Wolverine Ditka then sinks his powerful jaws into Human Ditka's right arm and severs it. Human Ditka is not done fighting, though, as he picks up his arm uses it to bludgeon Wolverine Ditka, who cannot help but respect Human Ditka's fortitude.
An hour later the two are exhausted and covered in blood. Human Ditka has been badly bitten, and Wolverine Ditka is covered in bruises and cuts from being hit with Human Ditka's severed right arm, which, over the course of the hour, Human Ditka stripped of its flesh and fashioned into a spear. At this point an eight foot tall man appears on the mountain and says, "Hey Ditka, are we going to eat dinner or what?"
Both Human and Wolverine Ditka turn to answer the man - Bill Brasky - and realize that they share the bond of being named Ditka. Now aware that they are that special breed of being called Ditkas, they drop their guards and embrace (though Human Ditka has some trouble with this, as he has only one arm and has lost most of his blood). Exhausted, they walk with Bill Brasky back to his cabin, where they eat Paul Bunyan's Ox, Babe, who Bill has soaked in moon shine and roasted over a giant fire.
A real wolverine or a little mini-wolverine?
What if the wolverine is named Ditka?
" I am toast"
This is not interesting because it has no point. Plese refer to the FAQ before posting this.
A new MGoUser hits the ground running!
Awesome. I look forward to more posts from you in the future!
Plese go away
Is this some kind of Alaskan humor I am not getting?
I wonder...
