Unverified Voracity Wins A Mexican Standoff
The offseason. This gif doesn't have LSUFreek's swag but the reference is golden:
I loled. Via Gaknar of the EDSBS commentariat. I'm not sure why the Navy Ram is getting shot, though. That is the Navy Ram, isn't it? UPDATE: It's the UNC Ram, which okay.
No offense, Fred Jackson. The countdown to the Hartening has begun in earnest now that he's out of the NFL and acting as a quality control assistant for Ron English and your Eastern Michigan Eagles:
"I'm definitely moving on to the next chapter of my life," said Hart, now married and a father. "Everyone stops playing. I'm done. I know what I want to do. I know where I want to be in the next 10-15 years. I'm happy now. I'm committed to Eastern, I'm committed to helping them, I'm committed to coach E." …
English offered Hart a job as a quality control coach, essentially a graduate assistant, who would have an opportunity for on-field coaching since English's staff was down a coach.
"Even though he's a quality control coach, technically, legally he's been out coaching with assistant coach Doug Downing with the running backs," said English, in his third year at Eastern. "He's been working with our special teams and coaching all the scout teams. So he's had a great impact."
Hart has to work on his hyperbole before he's ready for the Michigan job, but it's just a matter of time unless Ty Wheatley beats him to it.
Bonus awful. Fear The Hat picked up the ESPN post from last night and added a couple of sites that kind of think the Miami thing is important. More importantly, he screencapped the college football page:
The college football page! Aaaigh!Someone's lying, and that someone is everyone. Terrelle Pryor is ineligible at Ohio State and has been banned from associating with the program for five years. Why? No one knows. Ohio State claims that it's because Pryor won't talk to the NCAA. What won't he talk to the NCAA about? Certainly not violations he committed.
The NFL doesn't appear to be buying this. That forces different, far more plausible stories to come to the forefront:
"Terrelle was fully forthcoming and subsequently provided the documents that were requested to support the disclosure," Cornwell told ESPN. "The NCAA has a procedure where they can automatically audit bank accounts of student-athletes who are on financial aid. If those bank statements add up to a substantial amount more than what has been provided through financial aid, they ask why. Terrelle provided them with those answers and, as I said, the documents the NCAA requested."
ESPN has obtained documents showing Pryor gave bank records to the NCAA at the meeting in May.
Ohio State is still under NCAA investigation, and Sarniak's payments have not been addressed publicly.
"What we provided for NFL Security (on Aug. 5) was a road map, a timeline and the documentation," Cornwell said. "Terrelle cooperated, and the violations occurred during a period well before the (April) draft. That's the key. Those disclosures and documents would have made Terrelle ineligible for the entire 2011 season, and once he made those disclosures to the NCAA, he withdrew from school."
Yeah, you read that name right: Sarniak. Ted Sarniak, the guy who everyone knew was the Nevin Shapiro of Jeanette, PA, gave money to Pryor after his enrollment at OSU. The NCAA had previously, inexplicably, and frustratingly given what happened to Jamal Crawford declared Sarniak's previous creepy gifts okay as long as he never did it again. Ohio State monitored this so hard that instead of disassociating from him, Jim Tressel ran to him for help.
Ohio State is of course denying this, because the NCAA can't even add when they look at a bank statement. The Dispatch reports there's also an investigation going on with a Marvin Austin-like trip to Miami sponsored by Sarniak. There's probably another NOA on the way, whereupon the NCAA will force the OSU athletic department to give away one tenth of one percent of its annual income to a dog shelter. That'll show 'em.
Navel-gazing. Concentrate Media has profiled yours truly. If you like meta, that's your jam. There is already a full and luscious thread discussing my hair if you'd like to participate. Yes, I did take one million points away from the guy who said I look like the lead singer of Nickelback. No, I'm not sorry*.
BTW, I don't think MGoBlog is the future of sports media. It might be a future, but there are going to be several different models that persist over the next ten years. The article is almost entirely accurate except in one small regard: beveled guilt is no joke.
*[Points will expire in two days. I'm not a monster.]
Etc.: The Blade profiles Kovacs and Koger. Mikoyan and the M-Zone team up for a post on the gravesites of Bo Schembechler, Fielding Yost, and Bob Ufer. Maize Pages says brace for mediocrity.
August 17th, 2011 at 5:06 PM ^
Oregon duck, Bucky and the Miami duck.
Unless, I missed an LOL-sarcasm joke.
August 17th, 2011 at 5:09 PM ^
oregon, ohio state, miami, north carolina and... lsu? clemson? too many tiger programs.
August 17th, 2011 at 5:13 PM ^
The tiger is Clemson. EDSBS has a bit of a running joke about him, but I couldn't even begin to explain it.
August 17th, 2011 at 5:27 PM ^
He's coked up.
August 18th, 2011 at 7:35 AM ^
looked more like the Auburn tiger....Which made sense to me because their scandal seems to be fading into the background with everything that is going on with the other schools.
August 17th, 2011 at 5:11 PM ^
Navy Ram = UNC Ram-thing
August 17th, 2011 at 5:12 PM ^
Somebody earlier identified it as the UNC ram.
EDIT: It was Laser Wolf in the LSUFreek strikes post. He also says the rams name is Ramses.
August 17th, 2011 at 5:09 PM ^
Isn't it the U's duck and the Oregon Duck?
August 17th, 2011 at 6:40 PM ^
Miami of Florida's mascot is an ibis, a bird which is said to be able to tell when a hurricane is imminent.
August 17th, 2011 at 5:11 PM ^
My goal of being referenced on the front page of this fine blog has finally been achieved! Although, I wish it were under happier circumstances.
P.S. thanks for your mercy in having the points expire soon. : )
August 17th, 2011 at 5:28 PM ^
Damn, I was just about to call Profit to organize another jailbreak....
August 17th, 2011 at 10:35 PM ^
August 17th, 2011 at 5:43 PM ^
For the fuckall of it. At least it's a short trip to the South American country.
August 17th, 2011 at 6:04 PM ^
welcome to Bolivia
August 17th, 2011 at 9:35 PM ^
Careful now......who's to say the Overlord won't strike again
August 17th, 2011 at 10:38 PM ^
Who doesn't love generic whitebread rock n' roll music?
August 17th, 2011 at 9:47 PM ^
August 17th, 2011 at 5:18 PM ^
Avoid any commentary on Fearless Leader's hirsuteness . . .
August 17th, 2011 at 5:22 PM ^
Just don't reference Nickelback and you might be ok.
August 17th, 2011 at 5:19 PM ^
This latest TP/Sarniak stuff is over done. The NCAA interviewed TP back in May. If they thought it was a big deal, they would have moved the August 12th hearing and/or amended the NOA by now. It's new to the media, but not the NCAA, and the NCAA didn't care.
August 17th, 2011 at 5:21 PM ^
Mike Hart as Michigan RB coach: "He's like Mike Hart but faster."
August 17th, 2011 at 5:28 PM ^
But I was so close to thread posting status!
EDIT: Nevermind. Figured out he's just showing mercy to the other dude.
August 17th, 2011 at 5:45 PM ^
August 17th, 2011 at 6:30 PM ^
It's so you won't rest on your laurels, yo. Get in the game and tell us how many centimeters dialated Hillary Duff is or whatever.
August 17th, 2011 at 8:40 PM ^
They aren't supposed to expire, but for about a year they were set to. They aren't anymore. Sometimes I take away lots of points as a joke or warning; those have relatively short timeframes.
August 17th, 2011 at 10:43 PM ^
August 17th, 2011 at 5:46 PM ^
nice job Zemke. tke legend.
August 17th, 2011 at 10:07 PM ^
Pinckney Pirate legend.
August 18th, 2011 at 4:58 AM ^
Tressel ran to Sarniak, because Tressel said he knew if there was ONE person who would be helpful when 6 of his football players were in trouble (and Tressel said on ESPN he knew the trouble might result in someone possibly losing their life), Sarniak according to Tressel would do ALL the right things. I must believe Tressel. Because it is he who apparently thinks a free trip for Pyror to spring break in Miami courtesy of Sarniak is the perfect example of the ONE and ONLY Sarniak doing what is RIGHT for the safety of the entire football program's players in trouble and for his star football player who Tressel says might have been in danger of losing his life. Tressel only cared about the players; and it should be obvious to anyone with intelligence - like the NCAA Committee on Infractions. Evidence? What evidence? "It's all just circumstantial." Uh...not believable circumstances in this case are the evidence.
Pass the popcorn, please....
It should be remembered, E.G.G. (Elwood Gordon Gee) and Gene Smith were nodding approvingly in the background and said nothing when it was their turn to speak right after Tressel spoke on ESPN, (at the March news conference). They made Tressel out to be some kind of tragic hero right after Tressel spoke. EGG and GS therefore had the appearance of agreeing with Tressel's self-proclaimed tragic hero status just made for TV, and they showed they had no intention of dismissing Tressel; because they said in effect, Tressel must be thought of as such an amazingly tragic figure. Didn't they agree with Tressel who continues to say he was desperately for protecting the players in a possible life and death situation? If you say their seconding of Tressel's tragic hero status is not substantiated, then I say to you again; EGG and GS had their turn to speak on ESPN in March which they full well knew would have been the only appropriate time to correct the recorded words Tressel had just spoken to them, the press, and a national TV audience.
It was their turn right after Tressel claimed sainthood in what he (Tressel) was saying he did was for the player's sake. And wouldn't EGG and GS know Tressel had just shocked both EGG and GS, because unfortunately for them Tressel announced his own sainthood? Whereas, EGG and GS had enough facts to know Tressel was actually motivated not by a determination to preserve the players, but Tressel claimed sainthood in the face of knowing the contradiction of being able/allowed/encouraged to make Sarniak available to at least one player. It is hypocrisy for Tressel to proclaim his own sainthood when the fact is he left the situation in the hands of someone else.
EGG and GS should have followed up Tressel's claim on ESPN in March, simply by saying the obvious; how Tressel may have misspoken about the role he played, does not have all the facts, or if they wanted to be more accurate they could have said Tressel not only did not turn to the right sources, i.e. OSU; they could have said the contrary; how Tressel turned to a wrong source to help his players protect themselves from harm, and they could have added how it appears everything is in a sensitive stage they will not comment on further. Any of these tactics would have been damage control. But, EGG and GS made no such attempt at damage control.
Instead, EGG and GS stuck to a pre-arranged script which made Tressel the tragic hero who must be forgiven (even though they knew Tressel and Sarniak were joined at the hip). This speaks of the money trail as well as the attitude of the Board of Directors in their complicity by a possibly indirectly spoken threat of dominance over poor old, "helpless" EGG (or so EGG has portrayed himself to ESPN the Magazine at all costs to his reputation?). The irony of all this is, how it is completely believable when on ESPN; EGG and GS COULD NEVER HAVE SAID Tressel turned to a wrong source for help. Not because it might have raised more questions (which they would have had no obligation to answer publicly); rather they absolutely for sure know perfectly well such a statement at the time was too shocking for them to hear out of their own mouths. I will tell you part of why this is my opinion. It would have made themselves sound so preposterous to themselves due to the enormity of Tressel's improvised claims which they must have realized was shaky as an on-the-spot outlandish fabrication of Tressel's motives.
So, in March, THE Administration at OSU allowed the country to think there was a would-be protector who was placed in a very tough spot and had to act, who did act; who happened to be their saintly football coach. To them, the country did not have to know Tressel's televised live statement was in reality all about hiding the fact Sarniak was appointed as a "protector" (of what you might ask). In their thinking, what the country didn't know couldn't hurt them. But, they knew it was Sarniak appointed as protector, they knew it was not Tressel acting in the interest of the players - they only expected us to believe them how it was Tressel the tragic hero; and EGG and GS understood this is what Tressel was talking about when the rest of the world thought it was Tressel who was merely once, and once only, mistakingly thinking of himself as more of a protector of the player's interests etc., etc. while he was sure THE Administration at OSU could never hope to be as capable (and what about the sensitivity of an FBI probe Tressel lied about protecting?).
Rather, EGG and GS were not ready for impromptu revelations of this sort on live national/world-wide TV in my opinion. If just then they revealed for the public consumption via ESPN how Tressel in their opinion mistakenly had turned to a wrong source or sources during an FBI investigation, wouldn't they think it might be difficult to deal with the implication of explaining their own activity during possible interference with the FBI by their coach? When did they know Sarniak was involved, and what did they do about it? The average person might judge this to have brought them bad P.R. This is a mistake in judgment. EGG and GS were no doubt already wrestling with the meaning and eventual outcome of Tressel's impromptu savoring of his villainous disregard for what THE Administration at OSU thought or felt about the future of Tressel's claims to sainthood made on ESPN, even because the claims were made in the face of whatever facts the NCAA might know about Sarniak.
Therefore, on ESPN Tressel succeeded in making sure THE Administration at OSU was caught so off-guard, then to this day they do not think or care if the public believes Tressel's claim to sainthood is valid. Using their damage control efforts exclusively on saving Tressel's job left them unprepared but not incapacitated to deal with Tressel's claims about the safety of the football players. EGG and GS should have stood up to debunk immediately Tressel making himself out to be the hero. THE Administration at OSU is taking the tactic now of trying once again to save Sarniak's reputation; claiming Pryor's lawyer is wrong about Sarniak paying benefits to any player after the NCAA informed the university to keep Sarniak from doing so again. THE Administration at OSU allowed Tressel to paint a picture of heroism on ESPN in March they knew might become an attribute claimed for Sarniak. It is worse PR to have fooled the world in March and now be exposed for it, while they now rise to the defense of Sarniak who kept quite about Tressel's claim to sainthood, thus making it a conspiracy involving Sarniak and THE Administration at OSU to fool the world. Now, after all this; and keep in mind their sullying themselves in their attempt to save Tressel's job; THE Administration at OSU fully expects everyone to believe Pryor's lawyer should abstain from saying Sarniak made recent payments to Pryor. This is another attempt to divert blame from those who made the conditions to prosper from the bowls and wins, namely EGG and GS whom I am confident were not as ignorant about Tressel's doings as I think they expect us to believe.
Please, pass the salt...
August 18th, 2011 at 11:20 PM ^
Might I suggest you edit it and re-post it as a diary?
August 17th, 2011 at 5:57 PM ^
Ron English talking about the "legal" monitoring a coach is doing. That catch anyone else's eye?
August 17th, 2011 at 6:23 PM ^
going to eat up UMHoops? Dylan does a terrific job content-wise but he does not have Brian's voice, so I think he tries to play it more dry.
August 17th, 2011 at 11:01 PM ^
i think that'd be a tremendous move! i like Dylan ..... just sometims I'm too lazy to click on his hoops blog whem scrolling through my reader
August 17th, 2011 at 7:01 PM ^
With Brian's mom... from the article. I lol'ed. Nothing wrong with that, hope it was a great trip, just fits the blogger in mom's basement stereotype too well.
August 17th, 2011 at 7:04 PM ^
"48 percent with $100,000 annual incomes"
sounds like we got a bunch of lawyas, cash-chuckers
August 17th, 2011 at 9:32 PM ^
But with only 55% college educated? I call shenanigans.
Granted, there are routes to high-paying jobs that don't involve college, but there aren't that many, and there are a lot of people who get post-secondary degrees (and post-post-secondary) who don't make $100k.
August 17th, 2011 at 9:49 PM ^
People in high school... People still in college...
Although given that number, i'm surprised the mean income is so high.
August 17th, 2011 at 11:09 PM ^
August 17th, 2011 at 7:29 PM ^
Great to see the site profiled, but I take issue with the notion that MGoBlog/Brian Cook is the "future" of sports journalism for Michigan. MGoBlog is already the gold standard of sports journalism for my generation (IMO).
August 17th, 2011 at 7:46 PM ^
Completely missed the one on the ground... that is the UNC ram. The one on the left is for sure the Oregon duck. The rest are easy to spot. My b, guys(girls?).
August 17th, 2011 at 7:54 PM ^
Why Mike Hart instead of Tyrone Wheatley?
August 17th, 2011 at 9:03 PM ^
Why does a school called the Tar Heels have a ram for a mascot, anyway?
August 17th, 2011 at 9:52 PM ^
August 18th, 2011 at 12:55 AM ^
In the piece on Brian, he's quoted as saying, "But there are a lot of Michigan fans, and a lot of them are lawyers and engineers, and a lot of them really, really care." I'm an engineer, so I get how the blog is targeted at us with all the quantitative analysis and dorky humor, but what is the connection to Lawyers? Why did he single them out over Doctors or History majors, or any other group for that matter? ProfitGoBlue, maybe you can help me out here.
August 18th, 2011 at 9:26 AM ^
we are superior to those other groups, and Brian likes us more.
August 18th, 2011 at 9:40 AM ^
Since you asked, I'll answer: In short, interM is correct. Brian recognizes that lawyers are much more valuable than all other professionals save engineers, both for our extreme intelligence and good looks.
Actually, I suspect its probably because Brian has recently come into some legal troubles and/or is gearing up to do so in the future (completely unfounded suspicions). Either that or he just wants the free legal advice to continue. Most likely its simply because we are just very good-looking and fun people to be around.
August 18th, 2011 at 4:46 PM ^
I can only speak for one, but I'm an attorney. I'd also be curious to know if there is actual data that somehow shows a large percentage of users are, in fact, lawyers and engineers, more so than other professions. Very strange.
Comments